Davy Crockett's Day Off: The Moment that Made The King of the Wild Frontier
Calvin: "I was going to skip school today, but I got caught."
Calvin: "Mom had the wind for that final sprint."
It is a testament to Davy Crockett's coolness that the quote most appropriate to the pivotal moment in his autobiography, one which includes time as a frontiersman, senator, general living legend, King of the Wild Frontier and an afterward detailing "his glorious death at the Alamo," comes from Calvin and Hobbes.
Davy Crockett, known in folklore (and Disney song) for having "killed him a bear when he was only three" (Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier), becoming a war hero in early life and opposing most of Andrew Jackson's legislation as a senator until he, up for re-election and infuriated with politics, told the voters that if "they saw fit to re-elect me, I would serve them as faithfully as I had done, but, if not, they might go to H---, and I would go to Texas." (Niles Weekly Register, April 9th, 1836). He lost, so he did go to Texas. He fought in the Texas Revolution and died at the Alamo. It is said (and debated, but of course that's not why we're here) that his body was surrounded by no fewer than sixteen mexican corpses - more bullets than Crockett had, but the last was found with Crockett's knife firmly planted in him (Tinkle, 1985).
So how did a guy like that get his start?
When Davy Crockett was a young boy his family moved close enough to town for him to attend school (this was the 1790's, remember). Davy attended for four days, just beginning to learn to read and write, when he had "an unfortunate falling out with one of the scholars --- a boy much larger and older than myself." (Life of David Crockett: An Autobiography by Himself, pg 12). He determined to revenge himself on his fellow scholar:
"I waited till in the evening, and when the larger scholars were spelling I slipp'd out, and going some distance along his road, I lay by the wayside in the bushes, waiting for him to come along. After a while, he and his company came on...and I pitched out from the bushes and set on him like a wild cat. I scratched his face all to a flitter jig, and soon made him cry out for quarters in good earnest. The fight being over, I went on home." (Life of David Crockett: An Autobiography by Himself, pg 12-13).
Four days into school, and Davy already had to beat a dude till he begged for mercy. Times were tough.
The next morning, Davy writes, he was expected to go to school again: "but do you think I went? No, indeed." (Life of David Crockett: An Autobiography by Himself, pg 14)
I wish I had read this in elementary school. You can never have too many good role models.
Davy explains that he expected the schoolteacher to beat him "as bad as I had the boy" (Ibid). I don't know if this was a reasonable expectation or not. Presumably post-revolution schools were pretty gritty environments. So, to avoid his teacher's attack he spent several days hiding in the woods.
Eventually the school did exactly what they have done in the subsequent 200 years. They called his dad. Mr. Crockett was not pleased - he had also, Davy notes "been taking a few horns and was in good condition to make the fur fly." (Life of David Crockett: An Autobiography by Himself, pg 12-13pg 15). Davy explained himself, but his father was not impressed, and told him in no uncertain terms that he would go or be beaten even more severely. Davy shlepped his way to the door, but dawdled long enough that his father broke off a switch and ran at him. Davy took flight.
"I put out with all my might, and soon we were both up to the top of our speed. We had a...tough race for about a mile, but mind me, not on the school house road, for I was trying to get as far t'other way as possible." (Life of David Crockett: An Autobiography by Himself, pg 12-13 pg. 16)
Davy just was not going to school. He goes on to say that had his schoolteacher and father caught him, he believes they might have killed him, thus ensuring "I should never have been called on to sit in the councils of the nation." (Ibid).
Davy didn't come back for years.
In that time he toured the forests and backwoods villages and post-colonial towns, and learned all the skills he'd need to become a soldier, a senator and the King of the Wild Frontier.