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Elhowit arranged marriage au where Elhokar decides to marry Wit to get his father to leave him alone (and bc he's sort of had a crush on Wit since they met), and Wit agrees bc he wants those Alethis visa documents.

#eh? eh?#what do you think?#is this the best idea ever or is this the best idea ever?#cosmere #stormlight archive #hoid #wit #elhokar kholin #elhowit #kingswit

I’m forcing myself to get through the four Valentine’s fics I planned so here, fic 2 of Valentine’s on Roshar.

Wit is proposing to Elhokar. You’re welcome. Who’s thanking me? Who knows. But you’re welcome.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/79393631

#stormlight archive #cremposting #cosmere #elhokar kholin #wit #hoid #kingswit

For the ship ask game: First of all, please dump all of your Elhoash thoughts on me, please and thank you. Second, Elhokar/Wit? Thoughts?

I don't remember where that ask post is so I'm just gonna free-form my answer. Elhokar/wit is fun imo and has a lot of potential! Personally I don't see them being like, endgame true love type ship. I can't imagine Hoid ever seeing Elhokar as an equal, and I think Elhokar would go insane from feelings of inadequacy and from not knowing all the secrets Hoid keeps. BUT I think they can fuck and it can be messy and fun with a bit of unhealthy power dynamics. Or to make it nicer it could be the kind of situation where Wit gives Elhokar a bit of well-needed guidance and encouragement before continuing on his way through the cosmere.

I'm actually very annoyed at canon Hoid for the decisions he made about Elhokar. There's this one scene in Oathbringer where he's talking to Shallan and Shallan is like oh I like Elhokar! He's trying! He wants to be a good king! And Hoid is like "no actually he sucks and he's vain and he only cares about what people think of him" which. For such an insightful character is an awfully surface-level and unkind analysis. Elhokar could have really benefitted from a Hoid story delivered at the right time, but instead it seems like Hoid just deemed him a lost cause and then took the spren that was following him after he was dead. I don't like that!

So maybe it would be fun to see a shippy version where Hoid is less of an asshole about Elhokar and actually helps him out

As for elhoash I feel like I'm literally always yapping about them so I'll be short this time but they are The Ship Ever I love them so much. Lmao I've recently been seeing posts of people going "omg people ship elhoash?? That's crazzzyyy hahaha that makes nooo senseee it's so funny" and I genuinely don't see why??? I mean king/assassin is a classic for a reason. It's got something for everyone it's got angst and trauma and revenge if you want it, it has making up and forgiveness and growing together if you want it, it has fucked up power dynamics, it has juicy gender shenanigans, it can fit so many kinks in it... Yeah

#Ask memes #Elhoash #Kingswit

Cosmere characters as dumb things I’ve said/heard

“Antidepressants? Pfft- Just get a worm on a string!” -Shallan

“This family is a nightmare! Who’s even related to who?!” -Dalinar AKA DADinar

“Where are they? Dead, probably. Unless the knife stab hasn't’ gotten to them yet. Then they’re just dying.” -Jasnah

“Any party size packet of Oreos is a personal one if you’re an introvert.” -Renarin

“I can walk faster than you can run! I’m gay!” -Drehy

“Gender? What’s that? I haven’t had one in years.” -Wit

“Chicken patties, chicken breasts, chicken wings- IS THERE ANY FOOD HERE OTHER THAN CHICKEN?!” -And worldhopper @ Roshar

“It tastes like depression. In a muffin. It’s a depression muffin!” -Kaladin

“Do you only exist when I’m looking at you, or do you actually disappear from existence the second I look away?” -The whole fandom @ Hoid

When I started writing this fic, I thought “oh, nothing too long for your first fic. 10 chapters or less, no biggie!”

Then I wrote out the storyline and broke it up and it turned out to be 20 chapters. Then it started getting more detailed. Now the outline is up to 26 chapters. I’ve only posted 3 chapters.

I’m gonna die in this house.

#fanfic writing #it’s a pain in the ass already #didn’t even originally add a slow burn tag #but now here we are #and these little fuckers don’t even kiss until chapter 9 #who’s in charge of this shit #stormlight archive #cremposting #kingswit #my babies

Planning a massive, kind of intimidating fic that I’m absolutely in love with is so fun but also heartbreaking. Because in my mind this fic is like, revolutionary and magnificent but it’s also about my rarepair which means only a select few people will care about it or read it.

But at least I get to write about something I love, which is putting my dear angel Elhokar through even more traumatic experiences than he has in canon.

#sorry elhokar #but I have to make your life worse #elhokar kholin #kingswit #elhowit #stormlight archive

Just one thing: You didn't mention that for a guy who's so angry about destruction, Batman has a kill count well into the double digits.

Yes.

It’s just sort of stunning, because for all Zack Snyder insisted on cramming so many unnecessary things into this movie just because they were iconic things from the comics, and for all he insists that keeping to the comics is the only way he knows how to make these movies, he was completely dismissive of who Bruce Wayne is as a person, fundamentally, in his endeavor to make him “darker” and “edgier”.

A friend read my recap post and said that some of the things that I called out as being completely unnecessary and over the top - like the nuclear bomb - were things he had been expecting, because he’s read the comic and apparently the nuclear bomb, along with Superman’s space zombie moment, were a big deal in the comic.

That is fine, for the comic, which existed within its own timeframe and its own context that gave those things a different impact. But “it’s an iconic moment in the comic” is not enough of a reason to put something into the movie just for the sake of having it there, if all it does is make the plot even more excessive and disjointed than it already is. You either find a way to weave it in coherently and give it importance, or you leave it out. The same goes for the Zodmonster, or Doomsday - Luthor’s endgame and motivations for creating him and setting him loose were obscure at best, and the movie was already exhausted with so much mindless fighting at that point, before Doomsday just appeared for a very needless third act tacked on to give the three heroes something to fight against together.

Luthor was an extremely compelling villain in himself; the decision to remove him from the final showdown and just sort of have him off to the side while the heroes faced a mindless beast who carries no emotional weight as an opponent and is just a sounding board for them to rain blows onto, just for the sake of having Doomsday in the movie, to me is an incredibly uncreative way for things to pan out. It’s also an extremely lazy way to have Superman die, because there is absolutely no reason why he had to be the one to drive the kryptonite spear into Doomsday when Wonder Woman was standing right there and was perfectly capable of doing it herself. The gravitas of his death is absent because it was a completely avoidable situation… just like the fight between Batman and Superman, which would not have happened had they just stopped to talk to each other.

It’s like there was a checklist of things that “needed” to be included - Batman and Superman hating/fighting each other, Lex Luthor instigating chaos, Doomsday, nuclear bomb, certain imagery, Batman and Superman becoming “friends”; but there was little to no logic behind how any of these things played out, or any coherent connective tissue between them.

I’m going off on a tangent here; sorry, I’m sort of hijacking your ask to elaborate on more things I didn’t touch up on in my other post. The point is - why so much insistence on needing to have all those “iconic” things in the movie, only to completely recharacterize Batman as something he never was in the comics.

It’s stunning because a defining trait of Batman in the comics is that he does not kill. He absolutely does not kill. He is not bloodthirsty. He wants to stop criminals and bring them to justice. To help his city. He refuses to use guns, and he is calculated, a master detective over all, uncovering plots and entrapping his victims.

In BvS he is bloodthirsty, hyperviolent and driven by blind rage. He is not interested in learning or uncovering truths about Superman, but satisfied to lay judgement on him which, as you say, is hypocritical because Batman causes his own share of death and destruction - and he quite easily makes the decision that Superman must die, and sets out to kill him.

He attacks Superman when Superman only wants to talk. He refuses to listen and only wants to hurt. He is interested in torturing Superman, in making him bleed, as he plainly says, not satisfied to simply kill him. From pounding punches onto him after immobilizing him with kryptonite, to breaking a sink over his head, to carving into his cheek with the spear when he has him pinned down before dealing the final blow to finish him off. It’s cruel, ugly, sadistic behavior from a Batman who also burns people’s skin with a metal brand bearing his symbol.

This is a deeply, gruesomely ugly Batman.

I don’t understand why Snyder wanted to portray this Batman.

Maybe it’s wrong to ask why he warped Batman while sticking closely to other pointless things from the comics. What Batman, and Superman, and all of those pointless scenes had in common is that they were void of substance but contributed to the dark, edgy, violent vibe that Snyder was going for, and I guess that vibe was his main concern.

The sadder part is that what little of Bruce Wayne’s original characterization is actually retained is his unadmirable - to put it mildly - playboy reputation; not emphasized in the movie, but we get a scene where he wakes up from a nightmare with a random, nameless girl in bed with him, existing as a prop to remind us that Bruce Wayne is also someone who objectifies women.

I’ll just go off on one more brief tangent here re: the disappointing handling of all the women in the movie too. June Finch is a compelling character and a voice of reason, raising valid concerns about Superman while treading a careful line in not irrationally turning against him. She is handed a jar of piss and blown up. Mercy Graves exists to do Lex Luthor’s bidding, until she also gets blown up. Lois Lane is a plucky reporter, yes, but mainly a perpetual damsel in distress who gets rescued by her boyfriend three or four times throughout the movie, and hinders the fight against Doomsday by throwing the kryptonite spear into the water and then failing to retrieve it, putting Superman in harm’s way by him having to dive in and get it himself. Martha Kent is kidnapped, tortured, rescued. Wonder Woman hangs around different galas looking glamorous so that Bruce Wayne can come talk to her, then drops in to help in the tedious final fight against Doomsday, and altogether has maybe five minutes of screentime.

It’s really a very ugly movie in so many ways.

#batman v superman #bvs #bruce wayne #batman #kingswit #asks #mp #film talk