Back during Kinn week, I wrote three fics. Only one of which got any attention from more then one person. Which has kind of put me off writing since. All I can assume that people either didn't read them or they're so shit that no one else has bothered.
I tried posting one of them on LJ as well but again, only one comment from a friend.
So just in case people missed the fics, (and I'm really hoping because even if they were bad, I'd like to know why) I'm advertising them again.
In which Finn could have had Kurt but he lost his chance with him when he rejected Kurt's love.
Kurt moves on and then he get closer and closer to Mercedes. They give a chance to each other and now Kurt is with Mercedes happily in love. Finn discovers too late that he loves Kurt.
Warnings: Future fic but following the canon until episode 21 with some changes and expections, you'll see them during the chapters. This is a very angst story, so yeah... you're warned.
Disclaimer: Glee belongs to FOX and RIB and Chris Colfer and Diet Coke and Llamas and Cory Monteith. I just want to write Kinn, leave me alone.
Summary: Finn and Kurt are married, they have a daughter, they love each other. They have everything to be happy. But life can change in a second and never go back to be the same.
Notes: Excited and nervous with this fic. Still don't know how many chapters is going to have but this is long. I want to thank my beta, she's amazing and supports me a lot, same goes for some of you that know how much I'm working in this story and have cheered me with this, thank you!. I'll post every week, probably fridays or saturdays. Hope you like this thing :)
Title: No Use Crying Over Spilled Beer
Word Count: 1162
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes you meet people in the weirdest of ways. AU
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Kurt just couldn't believe his luck.
Here he was, lying by the pool in a five star hotel, his best friends beside him and his ex was no where to be seen.
He let out a light sigh of pleasure as he reached blindly for the cocktail he knew had been placed on the table beside him.
“Kurt! Have you seen the stage in the restaurant? Do you think they would let us put on a show? My vocal chords need regular exercise if I'm going to be able to handle the role of Elphaba,” Rachel's voice practically screeched as her face invaded his, causing him to nearly knock the drink over as he finally grasped it with a quiet curse.
“Hold on there girl. One. You're only auditioning for an understudy position which you're unlikely to actually get and two. Give Kurt some space, you know he's here for a break and I heard you singing in the shower this morning. You're getting plenty of practice,” Mercedes commented as she tugged the other young woman away by her shoulder. Kurt smiled back at her gratefully, he loved both girls, he really did, but sometimes, just sometimes, Rachel really annoyed him.
“I don't think they would Rach. Just relax and enjoy the pool,” he commented, pulling his sunglasses down the bridge of his nose to look at them. Rachel looked slightly unsure but Mercedes pretty much just flopped down on the lounger beside him.
“And enjoy the eye-candy as well,” she commented with a grin.
Kurt laughed and rolled his eyes good-naturedly but that wasn't what he was here to do. He just wanted to relax and forget about his life back in the city for a bit. He'd lost his job to some dumb blonde whose only function to he magazine would be for the men to ogle. Unless, of course, they did a feature on how to wear a unicorn horn. And then he'd lost his long-term boyfriend because Blaine had met some sleaze ball named Sebastian at some bar and he made him feel more wanted then Kurt ever had and then his room mate had gone and told him that he was moving out to go back home to Ireland.
So basically, things just sucked.
And winning this vacation had been the best thing to happen to him in weeks and he hadn't been about to pass up on it.
He settled back into his seat and pushed his sunglasses back down his nose before he shut his eyes. Maybe if he just lay there he could get a tan. He could hear Mercedes turning the pages of a magazine beside him and next to her Rachel was chatting. The sounds of people laughing and splashing about the pool made him smile lightly as he tried to relax. This really was so different to back home.
“Why hello ladies, the Puckasaurus is here to make all your dreams come true.”
The voice was unfamiliar but the line made him snort as he heard Mercedes actually close her magazine.
“Are you talking to us?”she asked. There was a laugh then but the male voice didn't sound anything like the guy who had just spoken.
“He's just messing around. He likes to think he's cool,” the voice said and Kurt heard Mercedes laugh.
Opening one eye, Kurt eyed up to the two guys who had joined them. One of them had a mohawk and was standing in front of Rachel. He was grinning down at her and began to ask her if she was a Jew because she had the perfect nose. The other guy was blond with some amazing abs and if the look on Mercedes face suggested anything, she certainly agreed with him on that matter. He looked around and it didn't look as if anyone was coming for him. He sighed, it wasn't as if he had expected otherwise. It was rare that guys did actually hit on him.
Kurt shut his eyes again, at least if those two kept the girls busy he would have the room to himself for a bit that night.
“Excuse me! Puck, Sam! Where have you bee-”
It sounded as if someone tripped and all of a sudden something cold was being poured onto his chest. Kurt's eyes opened with a start and he screeched as he saw the bottle of beer that had been spilled over him as the man who had clearly dropped it stumbled up to stand beside him. He was tall but that didn't stop Kurt from glaring as his eyes traveled up the admittedly very nice body. But as he finally met the man's eyes, he found an apologetic grin and a pair of the deepest brown eyes Kurt had never seen someone manage to so successfully look so adorable and handsome at the same time. He floundered for words for a few seconds and the man seemed to take that as an invitation to speak up.
“I'm sorry about that dude, I was just in a rush and I tripped,” he apologized as I looked about for something he could have tripped over. I raised an eyebrow in question and he blushed slightly,
“I tripped over my own feet, okay? Look, I said I was sorry so...”he explained, trying to shrug the matter off as he looked at me pleadingly.
Seriously, the look on his face was so hopeful he could have been a puppy asking to be walked.
Kurt sighed loudly and shook his head as he reached behind himself to grab his towel in an attempt to wipe himself down.
“Well, I suppose I could forgive you...” Kurt started and he watched as the man actually deflated with relief.
“Awesome! I thought you were about to kill me or something,”he admitted and Kurt tried not to laugh.
“Slow down cowboy, there's an if in there somewhere,” the smaller male warned but he couldn't hold back on the smile that was trying to escape. The man looked down at him slightly confused,
“I suppose I could forgive you if you could take me to dinner,” Kurt expanded.
There was a few moments of pure background noise as the words seem to sink into the man's head. He stared down at him for a few moments slightly shrugged and Kurt felt his heart sinking. Oh, the guy was probably straight and freaking out. It had just been playful, nothing serious. He opened his mouth to take it back when the guy shrugged and nodded.
“Sure. I'll meet you outside the hotel restaurant at eight?”
Slightly surprised, he nodded as the guy grinned and then turned his head back towards the bar.
“Cool. Well I'm going to go get myself another beer and I'll see you later. I'm Finn,” the guy introduced, holding his hand out slightly awkwardly. Kurt took Finn's hand with a smile and shook it.
Yes, again, it's late, but... I ended up sick last night, and didn't manage to finish until today. So here it is! Enjoy 1100 words of pure crappy fluff. xP
It’s quiet, and it’s late. Silence stretches over the house, and Kurt is curled up in the corner of the couch waiting for Finn to come home. He yawns widely, stretching his arms above his head while trying not to disturb the baby swaddled in a light yellow blanket on his lap. She seems to not notice Kurt shifting in his seat and continues to doze, which he’s grateful for, because she hasn’t been sleeping well lately anyways, instead spending most nights awake crying about one thing or another. He smiles down at the dark-haired little girl cradled on his lap, and reaches out with a gentle hand to brush the soft brown curls back from her forehead.
She’s so tiny, he thinks to himself, reaching for one of her tiny little fists and watching as she reflexively grabs for it, gripping his one finger with five of her own. He attempts to bite back a grin, teeth working his lower lip as he reaches with his free hand to lift his daughter up to rest snugly against his chest. He tilts his head to the side to press a soft kiss to her forehead, smiling against the impossibly soft skin there.
“Hey, Leah,” Kurt whispers quietly to his baby girl, cradling her little head in the crook of his neck and holding it steady with his free hand. He strokes the already-thick curls at the back of her head gently, and giggles when she sneezes, face scrunching up adorably before returning to the peaceful expression of sleep.
As he cradles his little girl in his arms, gentle fingers patting her small back, he thinks about how much things have changed in the short month and a half since she came into his life. Before the birth of his daughter, Kurt had never known that it was possible to fall so unconditionally in love with someone so quickly. But the second he saw her, held her in his arms for the first time as it dawned on him that the child in his arms was his… He knew he had. He’d fallen in love with the little baby in his arms in an instant, and he knew in that moment that he’d do anything for his daughter.
He’s suddenly torn from his thoughts, though, as he hears the sound of keys sliding into the lock from the apartment hallway, a soft click opening the door. He smiles to himself, sitting up straighter in his spot on the couch before turning to look towards the door. He can see Finn toeing his shoes off, and even though he’s incredibly sleepy, he still feels a rush of excitement at Finn’s presence. Their eyes meet across the apartment, and Kurt watches Finn’s face break into a giant grin as he walks over to him.
Finn kneels beside the couch, hand reaching out gently to card through Kurt’s mussed-up hair, looking up with the sweetest of grins on his face. “Hey, babe,” He whispers, careful not to wake the baby in Kurt’s arms. He seems to notice something then, brow furrowing slightly. “… Where’s the other munchkin?”
“Still in her crib,” Kurt replies softly. “Leah got fussy an hour or so ago, so I brought her out here to feed her and she seemed to settle down. We’ve just been cuddling for a little bit since then while we waited for you to get back, haven’t we?” He says, latter part directed at the little girl, before turning back to Finn, his lips curling up in a tired smile. He doesn’t have the time to be tired right now, though – Finn’s home, and even though it had been a short shift, Kurt’s still missed him. He reaches out for Finn, cupping his face in his hand. “How was work?”
“Mmmm,” Finn hums, shrugging. “Busy. But some of the usual regulars were there, and they were tipping more than usual, so it ended up being pretty good.” The same smile from before is back as his hand slips around the one Kurt has pressed to his cheek, linking their fingers together as he leans forward for a chaste kiss. Kurt slides his hand around to the back of Finn’s head, fingers toying with the soft brown strands of hair, so similar in colour to that of their daughter’s, and in the midst of deepening the kiss, a short, quiet cry from the other room breaks them apart.
“… Speaking of…” Kurt breathes against Finn’s lips, running a gentle hand through his hair before moving to get up, but Finn’s large hand on his chest stops him.
“Don’t. You’ve already got Leah – I’ll take care of Em, okay?” He doesn’t even give Kurt enough time to respond before he’s off down the hallway, cooing quietly at Emily, and Kurt hears her tiny little cries subside slightly. He draws Leah even closer as he listen, glad that, for the time being, Leah seems to be content to just sleep.
He hears Finn leaving the nursery, a dull thud and a quiet curse whispered into the air a sign that Finn’s run into something again, but he makes it into the living room in one piece, an even smaller bundle of blankets cradled against his chest. The little girl in his arms sniffles a few times, as if she wants to keep crying but can’t find it in her to do so, and when Finn plops down beside Kurt on the couch, he reaches out to stroke his daughter’s little head.
“Hey, Em,” Kurt coos, in the voice reserved specifically for his little girls. He shifts on the couch and attempts to keep Leah as still as possible, pressing his side to Finn’s as he snuggles against him. Their eyes meet, Kurt noticing the pure happiness radiating from Finn, sparkling in his eyes and lighting up his entire face. He presses a soft kiss to Finn’s shoulder, nuzzling his cheek against him before turning back to their daughters.
“She looks so much like you,” Finn whispers, eyes directed at Emily, her tiny little button nose like a smaller version of Kurt’s. Kurt hums in response, tucking his legs underneath himself as he closes his eyes, feeling the tiredness of the day beginning to really catch up with him. He feels Finn’s lips press against his temple, and sighs contentedly. They lace their fingers together, Kurt beginning to doze off against Finn’s side, and he smiles to himself. He had never thought this day would become a reality, him and Finn and their two daughters all living together in a mid-sized New York apartment. He’d always thought it was some crazy, unbelievable dream. But now it was a reality, and he couldn’t be happier.
Title: The One That Got Away
Word Count: 3121
Rating: M (To be safe as mentioned sex)
Summary: Kurt and Finn started to date in the summer after high school but now five years later they're broken up and Kurt wants him back. Song fic.
Notes: So this fic is slightly based off an idea I had for my facebook roleplay when we skip but obviously altered so the past remains canon. It also features Sorrell's OC Vell who I dislike but hey, she worked for this fic so used with her permission. Enjoy.
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The bar was packed as usual as I tried to push my way through the crowd. I could hear Blaine behind me as he excused himself, my eyes open to see who had deemed it acceptable to join us on our monthly jaunt around the karaoke bars of New York. I catch sight of Mercedes out of the corner of my eye and quickly turn to join her in the booth. As I do, I spot who her companions were, Finn and his cousin Vell. I resisted a groan as I reached the table, planting a fake smile on my lips as I slid in besides Mercedes
“No Rachel tonight?” I chose to ask diplomatically as Blaine slid in the booth across from me. Vell shook her head, her red locks fanning out wildly around her.
“Nope. She's got an audition tomorrow. Said she didn't want to ruin her voice,” she answered.
I fought back the urge to roll my eyes that usually occurred around the young woman. Don't get me wrong, I can accept that she's never actually done me any wrong but there was just something about her that I just couldn't stand. Not that it had made it easy when Finn and I had dated, I thought as I caught sight of the other male in the corner of my eye. He was just sat there, staring into his beer as if he didn't know where else to look. My heart went out to him for a moment as I turned away but it wasn't my fault things were awkward, was it? I mean, the break up had been amicable and I'd long accepted that he'd just...fallen out of love with me. It couldn't be helped, it just happened and no one was to blame. That didn't make it hurt any less though. I caught Blaine's eye as I looked back across the room and he frowned at me as he turned towards Finn and then back to me and mouthed something across the table that I promptly chose to ignore.
This was how the night always started, everything slightly awkward until people began to drink themselves into a such a state of inebriation that any past problems and issues were soon forgotten and they could actually enjoy themselves. I accepted the drink that Mercedes pushed towards me and downed it in one. As soon as the glass touched the table, another drink was being pushed towards me and I grinned at Mercedes in thanks.
With a few drinks making their away around our systems, we were all chatting away between ourselves. I was sipping my fifth? Sixth? I don't know, I lost count after about three of these and I'm not even properly drunk yet. I felt Blaine kick me under the table and I leaned across to glare at him.
“What? If you're just going to whine about missing Sam again, I'm seriously going to throw this over you.” His face flushed but he crossed his arms.
“And you're such a good role model. Why don't you tell Finn you want to get back with him then?” he retorted. I scowled, trying not to show how deeply that remark hit. I slumped back into my seat and sighed. “He doesn't love me anymore Blaine. It isn't that easy,” I replied. I looked back up to see Blaine shaking his head at me.
“Why don't you at least sing it out? Might make you feel better. I will if you do,” he suggested ruefully and I smile gratefully. I eyed the song listing menu in front of us and picked it up to flick through and see what I could do. It didn't take long to find the perfect song and I was on my feet to go put myself down for it before I returned to drowning my sorrows.
*****
The idea had seemed a lot more appealing until I was actually standing on the stage in front of everyone. It wasn't like I was suffering from stage-fright and anything, for one thing, it was only karaoke so the fact I could sing was actually a bonus. But opening myself up to my friends again through song? I hadn't done that in so long. I knew Blaine was right though, I had to open up somehow. It was destroying me. Finn and I were still sharing an apartment for god's sake, neither Blaine nor Mercedes had room for me to stay with them at their place and I'd yet to find some place that I could actually afford. And considering we'd broken up just under a year ago, that was really saying something.
I heard the music start behind me and I focused my gaze on the table. My eyes met Finn's as I started to sing:
“Summer after high school when we first met,
We made out in your Mustang to Radiohead,
And on my 18th Birthday,
We got matching tattoos.”
I let my eyes fall shut as I sang, my lips curling into a small smile as I remembered the time we had actually made out in Finn's truck. It had been the first time we'd kissed. We had been on our way back home from the grocery store and had been arguing. I had blamed Finn for forgetting to remind me that the store was shutting early that day so we hadn't managed to get any of the shopping done. He'd pointed out that I was the one who'd told him in the first place so wasn't I technically the one to blame? I'd blushed and had argued back until eventually he'd driven to stop by a gas station and had told me that if we that desperately needed milk that I could get out now and get it but I would be walking home. I'd been so infuriated and had attempted to push him into the door as I told him that actually, he could get it. But he'd grabbed my wrist and pulled me forwards and then he'd been kissing me and it had gone from there. We hadn't actually separated until someone had knocked on the door to kindly ask us to actually get out and do something or drive off, thank you very much.
“Used to steal your parents' liquor,
And climb to the roof,
Talk about our future,
Like we had a clue,
Never planned that one day,
I'd be losing you.
In another life,
I would be your boy,
We'd keep all our promises,
Be us against the world.”
Shortly after that fight I'd broken up with Blaine, Finn was single so it hadn't been a problem for him. I still remember feeling so, so guilty the day I had finally ended it with Blaine because I knew I'd been leading him on for so long. I'd never actually loved him like that, I had wanted to so badly. And as I opened my eyes on that stage to look at him, I could remember exactly why. He was a lovely guy, we'd always had similar interests and he'd been openly gay from the moment that I'd met him. He'd been wonderful to me most of the time and I'd been so convinced that I would fall for him but instead I'd just fallen deeper in love with my step-brother whom I'd thought I would never have a chance with. I'd always thought that was ironic but then everything had turned out okay. And Blaine had been nothing but supportive since, he'd understood and he was still one of my best friends.
Things were great with Finn once we'd gotten together. Things had been perfect, we'd thought sometimes, especially when it had turned out he was thinking about joining the army again. I just couldn't understand why he would do that, his father had been driven to drugs and died because of war. Did he want to follow in his footsteps or something? We had fought, I'd ended up crying out that I couldn't lose him, that I loved him too much. Our hands and lips had found each other after that and we had sex for the first time. It may not have been perfect and romantic, our actions and kisses had been filled with desperation and anger but whenever I look back on it, I wouldn't want to change a thing. Afterwards as we lay together covered in sweat, curled up with post-coital bliss, we'd spoken more calmly about the future.
Finn hadn't wanted to really join the army, he just didn't know what else to do, what else he would be good at. The decision had been made rashly, at least he could somehow clear his dad's name if he was actually in the army, right? He'd actually started crying then, he'd felt hopeless, useless and even worse, worthless. I'd hushed him gently and stroked his hair until he'd calmed down, his face buried in my neck until I could feel the tears dripping down to soak the hair at the nape of my neck.
“You are worth something. And you can do so much better then the army, so what if you didn't get into college this year? You can apply later, do something actually worth your time. You can do it,” I had whispered. We'd spent the rest of the evening discussing what we could actually do. I was going to try out for a few more performing arts colleges and some fashion schools and he was going to try and get into college and work out what he wants to actually do there. By the end of his first year of college he'd realize he wanted to be a teacher and I would support him in that. I would always support him in everything.
“In another life,
I would make you stay,
So I don't have to say,
You were the one that got away,
The one that got away.
I was June and you were my Johnny Cash,
Never one without the other we made a pact,
Sometimes when I miss you,
I put those records on (Whoa).
Someone said you had your tattoo removed,
Saw you downtown singing the Blues,
It's time to face the music,
I'm no longer your muse.”
I let my gaze move to Finn as I continued to see, his lips were pulled down slightly in a frown and his eyes were a cesspit of confusion and hurt as he looked at me. What was wrong with him? He didn't love me anymore, was he annoyed that I was showing that I was still in love with him? Would that make it more awkward at home. I frowned even deeper. There was a time where we'd have been up here singing a love song together. Either some classic rock or something completely stupid. And on our first anniversary, he had actually sang a Johnny Cash song to me. Only he'd done it with a lot less of the decorum the man himself had while performing the song. I'd made a mix cd the day we got home with our songs on and we'd often listen to it while we just lounged about on the sofa eating takeaway as we talked about our days. I remember when Finn had first met some children when he'd moved into the education classes. He'd been raving about reading to them and how much he felt he could actually teach them. How he'd maybe love to teach music to kids of any age. I'd just smiled and kissed him as I told him as long as he didn't share any of the songs he'd tried to write for me with his classes, then I didn't mind and I'm sure he'd be great. I still remember when he moved the food away and pushed me onto my back that night. He'd kissed down my neck and stuck his hand down my pants and had told me that he wouldn't, as long as I gave him more to write about. I still have some of the scraps of people with the songs on, they were nothing more then crude and stupid rhymes but I still cherished them.
“But in another life,
I would be your boy,
We'd keep all our promises,
Be us against the world.
In another life,
I would make you stay,
So I don't have to say,
You were the one that got away,
The one that got away,
The o-o-o-o-o-one,
The o-o-o-o-o-one,
The o-o-o-o-o-one,
The one that got away
All this money can't buy me a time machine (Nooooo)
Can't replace you with a million rings (Nooooo)
I should've told you what you meant to me (Whoa)
'Cause now I pay the price.”
I shut my eyes again as I sang on. I really was an idiot, we'd been together for four years and I'd stupidly been letting things fizzle out. I know I'd been busy with my new job, I might have only been an assistant but I'd been used to the duties from my internship at the magazine but at least I was being paid. Finn had been busy with his own life, assisting in schools as he tried out the various skills they'd been teaching him in the college. And we'd just had no time for each other and I'd been so sure that Finn wasn't bothered because whenever I tried to do something for us, he'd never have time. Maybe if I'd have tried harder he wouldn't have gotten over me. Maybe we'd still be together, curled up in each other at the booth as we drunkenly stared into each other's eyes.
Now I couldn't find anyone who was even half-decent compared to Finn. My dating experience consisted of a few flings I'd soon regretted at parties and a couple of blind dates that people at work had set up for me. I'd lost the best thing that happened to me and I doubt I could ever get him back. It didn't matter that if we'd have lasted a few more months, we'd have probably gotten engaged. It didn't matter that I still loved him more then anyone. The spark was gone for him. It was over. And I was just killing myself remembering.
I finished the last few repetitions of the chorus steadily staring down at my feet and as the song finished, I stumbled off the stage without really looking where I was going. Maybe I should go back to the apartment, I could claim the bed for the night if I did. Finn would probably take the sofa if we'd have gotten back late anyway. He usually did, always reminding me that he handled his alcohol better then me and if I was going to wake up hung over, I might as well be in a comfortable bed. I almost teared up at the thought, what had I been thinking, the song had been a stupid idea and now I was getting all emotional over the fact Finn was still nice to me. We lived together, of course he had to be. I ran into someone as I bit back my tears and stepped back to apologize. In front of me stood Vell, her hands on her hips as she glared up at me,
“What the hell did you think you were doing up there? Do you think it's fun to play with Finn's heart like that?” she spat out. I just stared back at her blankly and moved to push past her.
“For some reason, I doubt he cares Vell.”
She grabbed hold of my shoulder as she snorted, forcing me to stop and turn to face her again.
“Oh, I think you'll find he does. But you know what, I don't know why. He could move on and find someone so much better for him who actually deserves him. But instead he's stuck in this damn rut because part of him keeps thinking you want him back,” she snapped, her expression almost feral. With a scowl, I grabbed hold of her hand and shoved her away. She knocked into another woman who swore at her before Vell apologized and turned back to me. I was this close to turning and running, I didn't like getting too emotional in public. I was usually so strong but right now, right now, I didn't know how much more I could take.
“Just leave me alone Vell. Not every couple is as perfectly happy as you and Rachel. Finn doesn't love me anymore, I get it. Just don't make me feel any worse about it then I already do. He doesn't have to worry about me jumping off or scaring off any potential partners. You can tell him that,” I responded, my hands clenching into fists.
I didn't let her get another word in before I pushed my way through the crowd back towards the booth so I could let people know I was going. I didn't bother sitting down as I grabbed my wallet.
“I've got to get out of here guys. Getting a headache and I don't want to ruin it for the rest of you,” I quickly apologized. I watched as both Mercedes and Blaine turned to glare at Finn as he looked awkwardly between them. Eventually he cleared his throat and slid past Mercedes to stand in front of me, knocking the drinks over as he did so.
“Vell said she was going to meet you. Did you see her on your way back?” he asked, clearing his throat and I nodded. I felt a lump rising in my throat, he was going to ask me back off himself. No wonder the others were glaring at him.
“She did. And you don't have to worry, I won't go all Fatal Attraction on you if you move on. I'm sorry if I freaked you out, I just thought it would help to sing my feelings out,” I tried to explain with an anguished smile. I just wanted to scream at everyone to leave me alone but I couldn't, not here.
“What?!” He genuinely sounded surprised and I looked at him slightly confused. He was mouth was open and he had that thoughtful expression he wore sometimes. And suddenly I had a flash of what it could be like if we got back together and I couldn't stay there any longer.
“See you guys and I'll catch you later Finn,” I said with a tight smile before I turned to run off.
Day 1: Past. Yes I know we're already in Day 3 but I didn't have time to translate it before :S
Title: Sometimes gossips are not that bad (oneshot)
Author: http://saneral-ciel.tumblr.com/
Pairing: Finn/Kurt
Warnings: I've never written about this pairing or about this characters, so if they're not like they supposed to be, I'm so sorry.
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to FOX and not me.
Notes: This is a gift for http://chindyalo.tumblr.com/ , why? Because I want to! Why there has to be a damn reason? :P
Translator notes: This is really good, she had never written about them and she just decided to give me this beautiful present a few months ago and now I translated it so you can read it. It's funny and lovely :3
Finn was slow to many things, like maths or english. If he had learned something about himself was that he had a problem learning things well the first time, but once that he had the idea very deep in his head, it never get out from there (thank goodness it was like that because, otherwise, he wouldn't know how to add and that would be a problem). But Finn has a dilemma now, a HUGE dilemma (yeah, with capital letters and everything), even bigger that when he had thought he was the father of Quinn's child. That's how big was his dilemma.
It all began when they had met at breakfast. Kurt and Finn don't share a room anymore, Burt had built a room for Finn in the second floor of the house and Kurt had decided to stay in the basement (something about the acoustic in the room, Finn had no idea what he was talking about). Today, Kurt had made breakfast because Carole had got out earlier than usual, and when Finn tasted the eggs and toasts he thought that they were just like glory, they tasted better than his mom did.
"Hey, dude. This are the best eggs and toasts that I have ever eaten"
Kurt put off the apron and sat to eat smiling smugly.
"Of course they are. The eggs had the perfect cooking, just as the toasts; besides, the oil I used was..."
The truth was that Finn didn't understand anything about his explanation, he couldn't only think that Kurt was the best cook guy in the world, that he cooked better than his mom and he admired him in that moment, he admired that even more than his brave when he had got ouf of the closet. Kurt had conquered his stomach. But come on, Finn is slow, for the moment, all this just became Kurt in his favorite chef, nothing else.
The next thing had been an accident and something more revealing than the cooking thing. That day, he couldn't find clean towels and he needed an urgent shower. Burt was at the workshop was also working, so the only he could think was going down to the basement and ask Kurt where were clean towels. Of course that he knew that Kurt was there with Blaine, but he didn't had anything against the guy and they were all dudes, what was wrong with that, right? He get in without knocking and he found Kurt and Blaine making out, he froze immediately. There had been several revelations at the moment.
Okay, fine. Kurt was gay (he already knew that), fine, Blaine was gay too (he also knew that) and, fine, they were boyfriends (you're a genius, Finn). But why the hell they had to kiss each other? He was so angry, and not 'I'm a homophobic all that is unnatural, guys shouldn't kiss each other and I'm going to punch someone'-angry. He was angry 'Why is Kurt making out with that idiot?'-angry. Oh shit, it that had been a tongue? Why? Fuck! No. Stop. Kissing. Him!
Of course that that should have been the second clue.
The next thing had been more subtle, and still, for some reason, it had been more revealing for Finn. Kurt had grabbed him warm milk like every night, normally, Finn would drink the milk in a an awkward silence and then wait for Kurt to leave. But this night something different happened. Was a week to start school and Kurt seemed sad.
"I can't convince Blaine to transfer to our school"
Finn almost spit the milk.
"What?"
"I know! He's so irrational. We could be together, and sing together, and dance together and then..."
Finn's brain have never worked as fast as it was working now.
"Have you thought right? I mean" Finn put the mug in his night table "As far as I know, Blaine is used to have all the solos and..."
"He won't take your leadership away, Finn" said Kurt rolling his eyes and Finn sighed.
"I'm not saying it because of me, I'm saying it because of you. You are a great singer and yet you could only sang one solo at Dalton, you already compete with Rachel and Mercedes, do you really want to add Blaine?"
Finn could almost see Kurt's neurons working fast as he analysed what Finn had just told him. For some strange reason for Finn, he didn't want Blaine with them at his school, he didn't want him closer to Kurt. His Kurt.
Oh, shit...
“You know what? You're right. Long distance relationship are more romantic after all, right?” Finn could only nod while he saw Kurt taking his mug with an awkward smile and get out of his room. Finn saw his outline, he saw his tight clothes, his ass and... shit, he had looked Kurt's ass! Shit!
All those little details began to make sense, and okay, he wasn't ready to say that he might be gay, especially because he had been with girls and he had always felt attracted to girls (except for Santana that, curiously and coincidentally, had been the only girl he had had sex with. Uh, maybe sex with girls wasn't for him after all and he didn't even know. But Finn was honest enough with himself to admit that he liked Kurt. A lot.
“I like Kurt” if he didn't say it out loud, he wouldn't believe it. He was glad that he wasn't dating Rachel anymore because he wouldn't have forgive himself hurting her like that. “I'm so screwed”
Okay, he had definite two important things. He liked Kurt and he might be gay (duh). Now what?
He wanted Kurt, yes, so the first step was putting him away from Blaine (he kind already done that), the second was conquer Kurt (well, he had felt attracted to him before, he just needed to taking him back) and third, well... he needed Kurt and Blaine to break up. He supposed that if he could conquer Kurt again, they would break up. Shouldn't be so complicate, right? Right?
The problem was that he didn't have any idea of how the hell he was make Kurt to look at him like he used to. So, after thinking about it for two days, Finn decided to do something that, it could definetely, had been his biggest mistake. He decided ask for help to Rachel and Mercedes.
“I want Kurt for me” he said when he saw them. Saying that they were surprised and confused was little. "I like him"
“Yeah, what's the trick?” Mercedes was the first in react.
“This is not a trick, I mean it. I like Kurt, a lot” Rachel raised an eyebrow.
“Last time I checked, you weren't gay” Finn pursed his lips.
“I'm not gay, I think. Doesn't matter, I just like Kurt, okay? He's always humming around the house and that is so nice because it's cool to be at home when he's doing it. I don't like when he's kissing Blaine, besides, he understands how delicious is the warm milk and..."
"Whoa, okay, okay. We get it. For some weird reason, you like Kurt" Mercedes looked at Rachel with surprise and Rachel looked the same, but they seemed to believe him "But, why do you tell us that?"
"I don't know what to do so he likes me"
"You already liked him once" said Rachel annoyed and looking at Mercedes, she sighed and after a few seconds talked
"Let us think and come with an idea, I'm sure something will come to our heads, don't worry" Rachel nodded not very happily.
After they left, Finn thought about it hoping that they could really help him, and then, when he saw that it was still early, he decided to play video games.
In the middle of the night, Finn found himself surprised by Kurt getting to his room, he was furious and he steps sounded in all the house.
"You and I are going to talk right now!" he didn't have warm milk with him, the fact that he didn't have warm milk was a bad thing.
"What did I do?" he asked nervously and Kurt began to walked around the room with his arms crossed and looking at him with hatred.
"You told Mercedes and Rachel that you like me! They called me for an urgent reunion and apparently, now you're their new mission. And they were telling me that how I dared to make you suffer and that I should leave Blaine and... I want you to talk to them and tell them that this is a stupid game and leave me alone!"
Finn couldn't believe this was happening. In what moment he had decided to talk with those two gossip woman? Wait a minute...
"This is not a game! I really like you" Finn frowned and stand up, why didn't he believe him? how bad he looked?
"Finn, come on. You see me everyday, we've been expending lot of time together his vacations. You're just confused. A few days back at school with other human beings and you see how this thing pass away" Kurt put a hand in his shoulder with an expression of so much condescension that made Finn feel insulted.
"I'm not confused!" said Finn taking his hand by his wrist, he was angry.
"Finn, you're hurting me"
"I'm not confused. I like you, I like how you cook, how you sing, I like when you bring me warm milk and when you smile, and when you support others, I even like when you're being a diva" and not knowing what else to say to convince those big blue eyes that he really liked him, he kissed him.
He felt how Kurt's free hand hit him without too much strong in his chest but Finn kept kissing him. He was kissing a boy -and he gave a fuck-, he was kissing Kurt -and the kiss became in the most important kiss he had ever had. At some point, Kurt stopped pretending that he was fighting and kissed him back. Finn let out his wrist and hugged him putting him closer. They kissed what they hadn't kissed each other for all those years, they kissed so much that it hurt but they didn't care about it. When they finally put apart, Kurt looked at his eyes, Finn looking back with expectation.
"You really like me" said Kurt still not believing it.
"I really like you" responded and Kurt smiled and hugged him.
After all, who could resist to a guy that really understands that warm milk was really delicious?
I needed to write this. After tonight's finale, which... disappointed in so many ways, I just needed to get this out. So I ended up spitting out 1300+ words of... whatever the hell you call this. It's unedited, and I barely even thought as I was writing, but... It is what it is. So... enjoy, I guess.
Title: Again, untitled.
Word Count: 1348
Rating: Mild T, mentions of sex.
SPOILERS UP UNTIL THE S3 FINALE. DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THAT EPISODE YET. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
Summary under the cut, so people don't get spoiled.
___________
The house is quiet. Too quiet. Finn stumbles through the hallway, bags under his eyes and head pounding. He hasn’t slept properly in days, mind too full with rejection, that damn letter weighing heavily enough on him that he can barely even think straight. Too much is on his mind, thoughts of Rachel fleeing to New York to chase her newly-reignited dream of attending NYADA, of joining the army so he can actually do something with his life, redeem his father and make everyone proud. Too many plans changing, nothing certain, all of it culminating in nights upon nights of unpleasant insomnia.
So he stumbles down the stairs to the kitchen, preparing two mugs of warm milk, body aching with exhaustion. He waits for the beep of the microwave, and once he’s got the mugs in hand, he returns upstairs – this time, though, he’s not heading for his room.
Instead, his feet lead him to Kurt’s, where he’s sure the other boy is. And as he’d assumed, he is, sat cross-legged on his bed with an envelope clutched tightly between trembling hands. His face is flushed, eyes rimmed red as he stares at that letter with a glare that seems as if it should light the thing on fire. He doesn’t look up at Finn’s approach, doesn’t start when he sets the mugs down on the bedside table, and doesn’t even flinch when Finn’s there, leaning against his side tiredly.
“You okay?” He mumbles out, barely even awake enough to speak coherently. Kurt remains frozen, before his shoulders shake, his breath catches, and a single tear escapes, making its way down his cheek.
“About as okay as you are, I’d guess,” He replies, equally quiet. Finn sighs, snaking an arm around to hook Kurt’s waist, pulling him close. It’s silent, neither boy needing speech in that moment, each other’s support enough for the time being. Kurt’s face somehow finds its way to Finn’s shoulder, tucking into the crook of his neck, and Finn can feel his shoulders shaking violently now. He’s crying. And honestly, in Finn’s opinion, he has every right to.
Because, while Finn is heartbroken over his rejection, over finally deciding on his path in life and having it snatched away just as quickly, it’s something entirely different for Kurt. He’d been hoping, dreaming of getting into a school like NYADA for years. And his audition had gone over so well, Finn hadn’t even been worried about him not making it in. So for Kurt to find out that he hadn’t? Finn can’t even imagine how that would feel. He can’t sympathize, so instead, he just wraps his arms around Kurt and held him.
“It hurts,” The smaller boy whispers against Finn’s tear-soaked throat, voice thick. “This whole thing, it hurts so much, Finn. I shouldn’t… shouldn’t have even tried. As if I’d get in. I’m not talented enough, don’t have the presence… And anyways, since when do things ever go right for me anyways? It was such a ridiculous dream. I did this to myself, and… and it hurts.”
“Hey,” Finn whispers back, rubbing Kurt’s back in soothing little motions, keeping him pressed close. “Don’t… God, Kurt, don’t even say that. Don’t even think for a second that you’re not talented, ‘cause you’re the most talented person I’ve ever met. And that’s including Rachel. You’re amazing, Kurt, and… God, I’m so freaking sorry, Kurt…” He grips tightly at Kurt’s sweater, feeling his own eyes starting to well up.
“How… H-How did she make it in, then, and not me? If I’m s-so talented, why did I get rejected from NYADA, while Rachel gets accepted, even though her audition was so terrible she didn’t even m-make it through the first verse without choking?” Kurt asks, sounding at his breaking point, and Finn doesn’t blame him. He would be there too, if he was Kurt. “So obviously, I’m not as talented as you think, Finn. Stop trying to tell me I am.”
Kurt pulls back then, sitting opposite Finn looking absolutely miserable. He swipes at his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater, looking away. A sniffle, then a sigh. “I just… For once in my life, I wanted to feel something other than rejection, you know? To feel accepted, like I’m worth more than just the occasional scrap of praise. How many solos have I gotten in Glee? How many competitions have I sung in? How many has Rachel?” He sighs again, face buried in his hands as he continues. “… You’re going to think I’m an awful person for saying this, but… I thought that maybe, just this once, for the first time in my life… I’d get something that Rachel Berry didn’t have. Getting accepted into NYADA… I was sure I would, that would be it, that would finally be my thing, but… Instead, Rachel gets the acceptance letter and I’m left feeling worse than ever before. How is that even fair, Finn?”
And Finn doesn’t even have a proper response to that. Because it isn’t fair, not in the slightest. Even as Rachel’s boyfriend, he knows that in the end, whatever Rachel wants, Rachel gets. To him, it’s like the universe showers rainbows and golden stars onto her, while the rest of them get shit all. And while at first, he’d seen it as a product of her determination, now all he can see it as is something that’s causing his little brother to feel the way he’s feeling now. And even though it’s not her fault… He almost resents her for it. He wonders why the universe couldn’t just give Kurt a break for once, instead of always giving one to Rachel.
He’s brought back to the moment, however, when Kurt sniffs again, looking so broken that Finn just wants to pick up all of the tiny little pieces of him and put them back together, fix him. “It’s so selfish of me,” He starts, voice soft and raspy from the crying. “But I just… For once in my life, I want something Rachel can’t have. But that’s not going to happen. I’ll forever be in her shadow, wanting what she has but never having.”
And it’s that that makes something click in Finn, something he hadn’t even known was there, and when he finds himself leaning forward to press his lips to Kurt’s own, soft and parted ever so slightly and totally not expecting it, it’s… Weird, yes, but not exactly something he feels he doesn’t want. Kurt’s hurting just as much as he is, if not more, and having him like this in this moment… It’s like they’re both sharing something, sharing more than just the kiss, and it almost lets Finn forget about everything else for a second.
He feels Kurt press his fingers to his cheek tenderly, awkwardly, as if not sure what to do with them. He can still feel the cool wetness of the tears on Kurt’s cheeks, and he presses his own palm there, wiping the streaks away and feeling impossibly soft skin under his own. There’s so much want, need, an utter helplessness as they deepen the kiss, Finn feeling Kurt’s teeth graze gently against his tongue, and it’s not long before the two of them are touching, mapping out the others’ body with tentative fingertips, needing each other to ground themselves in the moment. Both so broken, lost and unsure of what the future holds, it’s as if this moment is the only one they know for certain that they have control over, and as they quietly, ever-so-slowly begin to undress each other, it just feels… Right.
And afterwards, when the two of them are left sweaty and worn out, snuggled together under the covers, warm milk left completely forgotten on the nightstand beside them, they know it was right, in every sense of the word. It doesn’t fix things – it barely even changes things, doesn’t even make a dent on the myriad of problems they face – but even so, it helps. They needed it, needed each other, and that’s all that matters.
