Million dollar question. Actual honesty hour. Do you think Amber loved Tara back?
actual honesty hour? okay. so.
it's complicated.
it's complicated for tara, it's complicated for amber, it's complicated for everyone, really. their group sees the absolute adoration in amber's eyes when they're all together; how she all but devours her friend with her eyes, swallows her whole, keeps her close. they're always attached at the hip, they do everything together, and as fucked up as it is and they all know it, no one's brave enough to tell tara that amber treats her as her pet because tara seems so radiant around her.
but sometimes, amber's distant.
like this blatant ignorance that encompasses her sometimes. this emotionless stare as tara drags her around, laughs at something she comments, wraps their fingers together. the way she sometimes disregards tara's feelings and own well being to make sure her needs are met.
amber's possessive and aggressive about it. tara absolutely cannot live if she doesn't allow her to.
maybe she loves her, in some fucked up way, that amber herself cannot describe. she loves hanging out with tara and loves the way her mind works. loves hearing her talk about one of her favourite movies. loves when tara lets her have absolute control over their interactions, because she knows tara knows she lives for control. for power. it's the only way amber knows how to love her.
but amber also just loves control, and having someone give themself to her so willingly feeds her narcissism in the best way. tara obeys her. tara makes sure she's always pleased. tara responds with i'm yours when amber says you're mine. their dynamic is perfect for amber's fucked up soul.
and yeah, the kisses are nice. more than nice, really. but then she meets richie and her mind's divided, absolutely torn apart when she has to choose between her dream, her true love (her movies) and the girl that gave her entire being to her.
but stab is her true passion. tara would let her hurt her if this meant amber would be happy. tara would understand. tara would maybe join her, if she got it, and she could be her perfect final girl. could still be her girl, her tara.
(maybe that's why she ties her up instead of killing her on act three, a selfish hope that maybe, maybe her tara would understand. would let her finish this.)
Tara raids Sam's closet all the time -- she keeps track of "oh hey, I like that" when Sam is wearing it and then goes back for it. Kirby accidentally steals most of Sam's clothes because it's early in the morning and she's not paying attention and hey, that black t-shirt on the floor is probably hers, right? Mindy at least asks first: "Hey, I've got this date coming up and I want to impress her, she's kinda punk, can I borrow your jacket?" She just sucks at giving stuff back. Cut to Sam opening her drawer and wondering where all her clothes are.
The only person who's actually given something back is Gale -- Sam let her borrow a shirt after the waiter took a tumble at a local Italian place, and Gale promptly handed it back. "Not my style. Thank you."
ASDFGHJKL
Gale: if it didn't cost at least $300 I don't even want to touch it
Sam: that's more than the cost of my entire wardrobe
Gale, writing a cheque: mmhmm, your life really is a tragedy
Sam is the provider in this family, and her job is to provide the clothes. She's walking around in Chad's Woodsboro High varsity jacket and spare jogging trousers because she has literally no clothes. She elects herself to do everyone's laundry, even those who don't live with her, just so she can collect them back.
I was taught in college that, if you need to go back and fill something in later, you should write TKTK because those letters don’t show up often together in English and you can Ctrl+F them easily.
This leads to a phenomenon I call “TKTK GAY STUFF HERE”
HSGJDFHGJFG I LOVE IT
i want to TKTK GAY STUFF HERE in all my stories now
tara absolutely has some hardware in her leg from the way it got snapped in two. some rods and pins to stabilize it. and metal, of course, doesn't heat up like flesh. and she didn't notice this in california because it never really gets cold there, but the first time she gets hit by the chill of a new york autumn? it hurts. it hurts from the inside and she remembers how her leg snapped all over again.
she didn't expect it when she moved there; temperatures were mild in august, and at night, in the comfort of her bed, the pain didn't seem that bad.
tara was used to pain. she had always been, even years before her body was almost torn apart.
but, as the weather changed, it became more and more hard. her hand seemed to hurt more than usual, hissing as she tries her best to maintain a stable grip on her pencil in class. the walk to the train station is like torture, the limp always evident, making her regret having left her cane home, cursing herself for saying i'm fine, sam, i don't need it as she walked out the door.
it seemed even worse when she stopped at a crosswalk, wind hitting her from the side and this strange, agonizing feeling slowly creeped up her right leg. suddenly, tara was painfully aware of the metal in her bones, her leg giving out as she holds onto chad for support.
he's holding her close, and mindy is asking her something she simply can't focus on, and it's all too much at the same time.
Ok, I know narratively that they couldn’t have too many parents around, but Kirby’s parents being gone so she spends all her time with her (Ghostface) best friend… it’s ringing some bells… the parallels are paralleling…
OH YEAH DEFINITELY. they have TOO many parallels and i know it's just a coincidence but. too much.
i can't even imagine how kirby must've felt like when tara and her bonded over their first love slash ex best friends who turned out to be fucking Ghostface.. i mean. dude. it must've brought back the most painful memories ever.
for her, looking at tara must've been like seeing her younger self on a mirror, for a while.
imagine if they paralleled it even more, by, for example, making tara look at amber's burnt clothes that were probably on display in the shrine and the camera cuts to kirby doing the same, and they sort of share this look from across the room. and it's like, practically no one there could understand the extent of what they felt by that. how complex dealing with these mixed feelings must be
for your consideration: tara, who has almost certainly never interacted with a pet before, and nina, the cat who loves traumatized people
tara, who's never had a pet, both because of her fragile health and her mother's overall hatred for them.
who had never pet chad and mindy's childhood dog, because she was so scared of it they had to keep him outside the room whenever tara visited them. who only heard stories about amber's old cat, who passed away when her ex best friend was six.
who's startled when kirby first releases nina in the apartment, watching, with amazed eyes, as the small, black cat passes by them and runs into the agent's new bedroom.
she thought it was cute. but from a safe distance.
it was certainly calmer than when she had to worry about the meeks-martin's dog, though, because whenever they went to kirby's place, nina was nowhere to be found. tara would always wonder where she went; sometimes, she'd find her hiding in the closet, or taking a nap under the table.
one time, she went into the kitchen to grab a cup of water and found nina lying on the counter, tail gently wagging, and watched as the cat's head peeked up with the new presence.
tara ran out of the room right after.
it was always like this, though – she'd keep her distance, just like the kitten, watching as she existed in their presence. sometimes, when they arrived, the agent would call out her name and nina would respond with the smallest squeak. sam would pass by her and give her a gentle pat in the head, and tara would watch as the cat closed its eyes and purred contently. she'd see her rubbing up against kirby's leg when it was time for dinner and it would make her smile.
once, tara and kirby were on the couch while sam, mindy and chad went out to grab their pizza (safety in numbers, or something), and tara flinched slightly as she noticed nina jumping on the center table.
"you're not really a cat person, are you?" kirby chuckled, chugging a bit of her beer.
"i'm not the biggest fan of pets," tara said, fascinated eyes watching as the cat licked her paw and rubbed it on her face repeatedly. "i had never seen a cat up close before i met nina, actually."
"oh?"
tara nodded, pursing her lips in a tight smile as she looked up to the woman beside her. "never had animals. my mom wasn't a big fan of them, and she thought if we had one it could trigger my asthma. she didn't wanna waste her money on any more hospital bills. i seem to be doing just fine with your cat around, though. and nina seems pretty calm."
"she likes you." kirby's words made tara tilt her head slightly in confusion, looking back at the cat, that was now licking her own stomach. the woman shrugged. "she was a dumpster cat before i found her. probably got abandoned, and then she had her kittens pretty early on, and, well, nina's not really fond of people. not besides me, since, well, i'm her caretaker and stuff. but you see how she acts around gale. i guess since you never insisted, she liked that. i'm not saying you should run up to her, carry her around and become best friends with my cat. but i'm just saying that there's nothing to be afraid of, as well."
tara still watched. questioned, as she absorbed kirby's words, if this meant she could give it a try.
wondered if she would like to try.
——
sometimes, when kirby and mindy talked about movies, it reminded tara of her old best friend.
mindy and amber had lots of similar discussions before. the meeks twin would start an argument about the latest horror film she'd watched, specially when amber expressed a different opinion than hers — teasing her, daring her to prove them wrong. and amber would respond with such enthusiasm they'd get lost inside their own horror-centric universe.
whenever their group had a movie night and they settled for horror, the controller always fell on their hands. either kirby or mindy would give them insight into different options, so they could vote on the one that would be chosen.
before they pressed play, one of them would comment on something of the movie they were excited to watch — or rewatch — and it sparked a discussion that lasted for at least an hour, when someone finally managed to steal the remote from their hands and start the dvd.
this first hour always made tara kind of black out; she'd pull her knees close to her chest, staring at the distance as she blocked out all of the noise. her mind would wander elsewhere, away from movie dates she's once had, from get-togethers with her high school group where they laughed and acted like real teenagers. she'd avoid thinking of everything she once had and longing for those that she lost.
it always left her with a sort of melancholy, one that carried throughout at least half of the movie. but it was always best to not think at all than to face the things she felt constantly.
she was so lost in herself she didn't notice a presence settling beside her. nina walked in small steps, passing by kirby in front of the dvd player, jumping on the center table and stopping in front of where tara was positioned on the ground. then, she moved again, slowly pushing herself towards the girl, before she decided to sit right by her side, watching the group interact.
tara got back to her senses as a tail brushed her side, blinking rapidly and shaking her head as she adjusted her hazy vision. then, she notices it. nina, sitting there, tail gently wagging and eyes focused on the group interaction.
first, tara felt the initial panic; the thought of losing her breath, of having to claw at her throat and take her medicine as soon as possible. her hands searched for her inhaler, right then, finding it securely stored on her pocket. she didn't feel any chest pain, nor shortness of breath. everything was fine. she was fine.
(but i'm just saying that there's nothing to be afraid of, as well.)
she reached out hesitantly, watching as nina side-eyed her movement. seeing the cat didn't shift or run away from the idea of being touched, tara brushed her fingers through the fur in curiosity, choosing to pet her just like sam did the other day.
nina closed her eyes, lying down, seeming content with the gentle head massage she was receiving.
she retreated her hand, watching as nina leaned to rub her head against her leg, before she returned to the same spot by her side. she lied down again, both her front and back paws hidden by her tiny body.
"you're a good kitty, nina." she whispered. mirroring each other, tara and nina looked ahead, observing the rest of the group interacting, mindy leaning her body back with the remote raised above her head as chad impatiently pushed her, fighting for it.
tara felt happy, simply existing in the presence of this new but somehow familiar presence, and nina apparently felt the same way, quietly purring beside her.
something to ponder to tide us over: we have established sam is (much to my chagrin) a cringey pet name person, but what do you think tara and amber call each other?
i can imagine amber calling tara in particular a lot of things and since she is such a manipulative bitch she knows the ones that can make tara melt and do anything the most.
i think she called her "baby" in particular a lot, even in front of their friends; mindy would tease tara about it constantly, how their friend would turn Red and get up on her feet to follow amber around like a sick puppy as soon as she'd say it in a flirty tone. she also calls her sweetheart, doll, and sometimes even my love when she feels like it. (tara always swoons)
tara called amber babe and baby sometimes, and would reciprocate calling her "my love" when it's just the two of them. while amber didn't seem to mind the uncertainty of their label, and loved to push and pull tara in their "will they, won't they" dynamic, tara was sometimes overly aware of the fact she was head over heels for her best friend. she'd do her best to not use pet names to try to trick her mind into not feeding her delusions.
amber would only tilt her head, open the greediest smirk and stare into her eyes as she calls her "baby" in the most melodic tone and tara would've already turned into putty on the ground, though.
Imagine Sam's reaction when she finds the signed hockey stick in Kirby's office.
Kirby "I don't care about Billy Loomis's daughter, I care about Sam Carpenter" Reed.
I'm sure she'll take things... well.
:)
oh GOD
the first time around she didn't notice it. she had too many things to focus on. sam was still quite shaky and mad about everything that transpired w kirsch & sons, and maybe a bit nervous about meeting who could be her new agent. she didn't have time to scan around, see all of the framed presents from her past clients, notice the signed hockey stick in the corner of her room. and definitely didn't have time to read what was on it — nor who signed it.
imagine if it happened *after* they got together as a couple??? maybe they were making out in the office or i don't know, sam just happens to see the stick still there?
or maybe she was already in a moment of fragility, some scandal or rumour or gossip of sorts that's got to her, and she hoped kirby would help, prayed she would, but while she's waiting for her to show up to her office sam decides to walk around, check the frames and happens to read it?
