Our House: Edition One
The purpose of Our House articles is to highlight important information for all students, including upcoming opportunities and lost and found items. For those of you with submissions, please leave them in the box labelled 'Our House' in the common room - we will sort and publish them accordingly. Names may be redacted or abbreviated as requested by the submitter. Please do not tamper with the box; it can and will bite. PUBLIC NOTICES By decree of Leela Toor, Slytherin Prefect, Thursdays are henceforth known as RAINBOW DAY. Dress accordingly. Notice is hereby given that all of John Lupin's chocolate frog cards will be sold at public auction, to satisfy Kirk Lawson, who is sick of finding them everywhere. The auction will take place next Monday at noon. Cards include Beaumont Marjoribanks, Gwenog Jones, Jenna James, three Queen Maeve, fifteen Oswald Beamish and twenty-four Merlins. To the owner of the striped briefs: stop leaving your undergarments in the common room. The house elves keep leaving complaints about the scorch marks left on the furniture when we burn them. The Environmental Assessment of Slytherin Dormitories is complete and the results are in! We live in a dungeon. This is unacceptable on so, so many levels. Petition to evict Ravenclaw from their tower to follow. Hey, whoever left their cat's poop in the common room, that wasn't cool, man. I had to do a scouring charm like five times on my shoes, bro. - Luke Cronus UPCOMING OPPORTUNITIES The Slytherin Quidditch team is hosting a bake sale to buy new equipment! Come by the Great Hall on Saturday morning after nine to support the team and buy cupcakes. We are also in need of volunteers to sell them as we have the pitch booked for then and are not giving it up to Gryffindor. NOW HIRING! The Hogwarts kitchens are in dire need of new baking assistants. Benefits include on-site housing and your very own tea-towel. Do you like making your opponents suffer? Are you quick on the draw? Do you think the bombardment curse builds character? Us too! Join the Dueling Club! Meetings held weekly in the chamber. Slytherins represent! FOR SALE Used essays and quills for sale! Contact Grover Penn for more details. LOST AND FOUND Lost: Quick-quotes quill, writes in purple, silver-tipped. Has a matching hard case with the initials IR on it. Please return to Irene Redgrave or else. LOST HERBOLOGY PROJECT. SMALL SENTIENT FLOWERING VINE. EMITS STRANGE WARBLING SOUND WHEN FRIGHTENED AND OCCASIONALLY LEAVES TRACES OF PURPLE, GELATINOUS GOO. DO NOT TOUCH THE GOO. IF FOUND, FLAP YOUR ARMS BEFORE APPROACHING, IT IS AFRAID OF BIRDS AND WILL WARBLE AND COWER. - A Found: Barn owl. I'm not giving it back, it's mine now. - L Did you lose your Hospital Wing assistant's badge? We found it for you! Just visit the Lost and Found room to the left of the portrait of Renaldo the Wicked on the fourth floor and we'd be happy to reunite you with your lost item! Sincerely, Hogwarts House Elves Lost and Found. compiled by Kirk Lawson
