#kitschpoems

[kitsch-s]

i'm growing infinitely

like a pearl caught within a clam

these thoughts, my feelings,

mean nothing in the end

irregularities, the agony

nullified by my aging

a parasite, perhaps sand

lodged in the maw of another

no matter how much

we wish for me to be gone

i persist

i persist

i persist

until our unlikely demise

[kitsch-s]

my mother still asks about you

time and time again

i have nothing left to tell her

but that i lost my friend

my mother still asks about you

and i don’t know what to say—

nothing at all, just to confess

i miss you every day

— best friends to strangers

[kitsch-s]

i’m sorry

i wish i didn’t but it’s fine

i don’t know

i’m sick of it

i’m sick of them

i’m sick of everyone i know and i want something new

i want to do something meaningful

i am a spectator in my own life

i am watching the world burn down around me

and all i can do is paint the fire on the horizon

— it’s nauseating

[kitsch-s]

i miss being little

i miss when my mom

could hold me in her lap

and tell me everything

is fine

and i miss believing her

i miss playing in the snow

with my sister

it wouldn’t be the same

if i did it now but i

clutch the memories like

a string of shitty pearls

— little

[kitsch-s]

i really wish i met you

back when we were small

back when my mom was a safety net

to when the mountains crept so tall

i really wish i met you

back when we were small

before i danced with cruelty

before i donned armor over shawls

if only i had met you

and shown you this sweeter me

that you could never recognize

the kid i could never be

— back when we were small

[kitsch-s]

i dream of laughter in my kitchen

i dream of mirth in my home

of kindness and love deep within me

of something i’ve never known

my hands are rough and bloodied

my heart is scared and caged in

i am hard to like and skittish

but still i dream

one day the sun will shine

and warm my shivering soul

birdsong will ease through the window

and i won’t feel so alone

— it’s hard to wait until then

[kitsch-s]

i kneel at your feet

aching knees scraped raw

my hands are pressed to your shadow

looming above me

your careful consideration

not considering me

only with your permission

may i breathe your air

only with your acknowledgement

am i allowed your care

and yet i wait

obedient and resenting

your cold and angry eyes

and how they have never

looked at me

— begging for solace

[kitsch-s]

TIME CRAWLS IN THE CRUELEST WAY

RELENTLESS AS THE CHURNING SEA

i FEEL YOUR LOSS ROT IN MY CHEST

THE WEEKS THAT PASS ARE AGONY

i BEG YOU WHEN YOU COME AGAIN

PLEASE DON’T GO SO EASILY

PLEASE LEAVE SOMETHING AT MY HOUSE

A SPELL TO BRING YOU BACK TO ME