here's everything i've wrote so far for my latest fic:
(cut cause this is l o n g)
Look, I don’t even know how I got into this mess. I had just gotten home with Phantom, my dragon, from our on-going battle with the pillagers.One of Phantom’s wings had a small hole in it because of an arrow. So I went inside to grab some herbs and cobwebs. While inside though, I heard wings flapping. I knew it wasn’t Phantom, because it sounded like the dragon was inexperienced at flying. Then I heard someone scream.
“SHADE, CLAM DOWN!” I heard someone shout. I looked out to see what was happening. There was an Ender Dragon, I knew that because of the shiny black scales, and they were…doing something. What it was, I can’t say, but Shade, the dragon I would think, was freaking out. Oh wait, they must be scared of Phantom. Shade seemed to be a fairly young adult. The rider had her arms wrapped around Shad’s neck, fear completely filled her eyes. Next thing I knew, I was running at the dragon. Because of past experiences with Phantom, I knew what to do.
Shade slowed down a bit, so that they could stare at me with their piercing green eyes. Wait, green? Ender Dragons don’t have green, but this one does I guess. I realized that they might respond differently because of the different species. So I decided to do the only thing I could think of. No dragon can resist steak, right? Sure enough, the dragon was hungrily staring at the steak in my hand. I threw the steak so that Shade could go get it. Luckily, the rider had the sense to get off before Shade ran off. She smiled as she walked up to me. I noticed that she had a few bruises. “Thank you for helping me there, Shade can get a bit wild sometimes, but usually not this bad.” she told me. “Hey, it's fine, I helped because I’ve been in that same situation when Phantom was younger. I understand.” “Hey, what’s your name? Mine’s Blue.” “Cricket.”
I then noticed a weird spot on Blue’s wrist. It looked kinda golden. “Hey, what’s that on your wrist?” She looked at it then looked at me. “Oh, it’s just a birthmark, my sister also has it.” I looked at the sky. Oh no…why now? “We should get inside Blue.” “How come?” Red began to bleed into the sky above us. Shade saw the red moon rising and growled in distress. “There’s a blood moon happening Blue.” She then freaked out and ran to the entrance of my home. “Come on!” she shouted to me. “Blue, this is like, my sixth blood moon, at least. I’ll be fine. You just hide in there, ok?” She gave me a worried look but nodded.
The moon was now setting. The zombies didn’t run though, they continued to fight. So I just went to the water. I was honestly feeling overwhelmed. But I didn’t know why. Was there even an answer as to why? “Cricket?” I turned my head just so I could see Blue, standing next to Phantom. “Why are you flouting there?” “‘Cause I can.” She sighed.
A few weeks passed like normal, you know, getting myself (almost) killed a few times, Blue having to rescue me a few times, me totally not being gay for Blue, why would anyone think that?
That’s a really strong opening scene, it really gets you right into the action! I love how you dropped so many clues and info about how this world works. The nods to WoF and Minecraft are awesome too, I’m so excited to see what happens next!! I also really like how Phantom and Shade are both like, ghosty names and so they match. Maybe that also represents the fact that Blicket are usually dragons so it’s like their spirits or something?? And Cricket is soooooooo in love with Blue already ilufitiluvitsomucheaeaeaehhhgggg😍 heheheeeheee #meanttobe #luvthem
I don’t know if we were mutuals when I posted it, but a while back I made an offer to proofread/edit things for free as practice. (The best thing about it is that I get to read things before they’re released to the public lol) If you’d ever like me to go over and offer feedback/proofing on some of your work, I’d be happy to!😁 Since you already show me previews/teasers of what you’re working on, I thought I’d offer something in return for it!
