Jul 28
everyone in here being friends with each other and me not attracting ONE (1) friend even on a damn social media fuck my life bruh i hate this shit i hate being weird and unlikeable
seen from United States
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seen from Malaysia
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seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from United States
everyone in here being friends with each other and me not attracting ONE (1) friend even on a damn social media fuck my life bruh i hate this shit i hate being weird and unlikeable
Currently watching Alice in borderland for the first time because I was feeling FOMO and I’m three episodes in … I cried.
accidentally got myself in 2 lots of friendship group drama on saturday and one of them i didn’t even know about
Im failing all my fucking classes
mannnn i hate studying for ASL because i already feel so guilty/self conscious that i don't know it as a hoh person. plus i've had 0 face to face practice with anyone fluent in the 2 years i've been learning it bc of the pandemic, plus my professors have rarely given me feedback since it's all been online and they all teach several other classes and i've never worked one on one with other students bc they haven't taken it seriously in the first couple classes. but now that i'm in the third level ASL class, all of a sudden everyone else looks so much more practiced and skilled than i do, bc they actually want/need to do it, and i have terrible ASL comprehension for the level i should be at, so i just don't study because it puts me in this spiral. which means that every time i DO go to do the homework and film myself signing i get frustrated *so* quickly and start hating myself and comparing myself to everyone else and i just want to drop out and give up. but unlike them i don't have the choice to do that because it's not a foreign language or degree requirement, it's because i will likely go fully deaf in the next ??? decades of my life and i will need to rely on it to communicate. otherwise i will be fully isolated from everyone. this is such a shitty vicious cycle and idk what to do. i hate that practicing ASL or doing assignments makes me start crying 90% of the time. and idk anyone else with the same issue i have. plus i have untreated ADHD which makes my emotional regulation absolute shit and any obstacle in the way of what i want to do just absolutely shuts me down. i have no grit or perseverance. idk what the fuck to do. i'm so sick of this and this is probably the last ASL class i'll take and then i'll stop practicing like i always do and i'll forget it and just make this cycle even worse for myself. i've never done anything different and the worst part is it's all my fault and something i'm doing to myself. anyone else would just push through those feelings, get over themselves, and just do it. but i am incapable of keeping goals and i fucking hate it. i know they're huge parts of who i am but sometimes i really, really wish i wasn't hoh/adhd. it makes things so so so difficult and people think i'm just being rude and/or lazy and making excuses.
When you lowkey wanna die but your just kidding
I just woke up from a dream where I was being held and cared for, why can't I have this 🥲
oh cool new twt mutual better go look thru their acc! *finds t.sanders fanrt*