Knit Check, 1-2, 1-2
With warm apologies to Sir Mixalot. My friend Lisa came up with the first stanza and asked for assistance. Then this happened. Baby Got Hanks GIMME A BLEAT! I like big hanks and I cannot lie You other knitters can't deny When you find that yarn with the right amount of twist And get the needles in your fist You cast on Wanna knit til the break of dawn Cuz these projects just go on Deep in the stash I'm flailing Find the right yarn and off I'm sailing Oh, baby alpaca I wanna take your picture And retweet ya My knitters tried to warn me But that blend you got makes me cast on, whee! Oh, Romney You say you wanna get on my needles, With the gauge I twiddle? Well pull me, lull me Cuz you ain't that average wool, see I've seen you on sale For weft and wale That Corriedale Soft, strong And the put up is so long I'm tired of magazines Saying Merino is the thing Take the average knitter And ask them on Twitter Boys, girls What's the best to knit & purl? You gotta have big hanks So knitters (yeah), knitters (yeah) Have your hanks got the yardage (HELL YEAH) Go on and skein up (skein up), skein up (skein up), Skein up that lofty hank Baby got hanks I like ‘em lace weight and fingering And when I'm considering What to cast on I just can't help myself; I'm acting like a vandal Throwing aside the bands of balls Now here's my scandal; I wanna take you home and ooh, double ply, ooh, ohh! Ain't talking about Charmoise Cuz that sheep is bred to broil I want hanks real plump and wooly And maybe that Bison, so bully! Knitters in the store Looking for just one Hank more A knitter’s in trouble Not finding Kid Silk Haze to cuddle So I'm looking at yarn reviews With ever so much to choose You can keep those knock offs Keep that inferior flock, I scoff! A word to the great yarn twisters I won't flounce or dis ya But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna do a long cast on A lotta knitters won't like this rhyme Cuz those peeps don't have the time Got Xmas knitting Getting through quick mittens To the lace knitters I belong, And I'd rather cast on For a stole so long So spinners (yeah), spinners (yeah) Have your skeins got the meters (HELL YEAH) Go on and put up (put up), put up, (put up) Put up that plumptious hank, Even crocheters gotta say thanks Baby got hanks!