Q: After a very difficult divorce, I want to change my life for the better. But I don't know where to start and I am afraid to make a mistake with my first step.
A: Changing your life is serious business. As far as I know, you only get one life. Making the most out of your life is a form of taking responsibility for the way it turns out. But there are many common mistakes made by those seeking to make significant life changes
1.You dont have to change everything. Make a list of things and then prioritize. Put your energy into changing the one item that’s most important to you. If you’re still dissatisfied, move down to the second item on your list.
2. Don't do it for others. If you make changes for everyone else, you’ll eventually be resentful. You’ll realize that no part of your life is exactly the way you want it. There’s no emptier feeling than working hard to impress others and succeeding.
3. Money is not the answer to all of your challenges.There are many things that money can’t purchase: love, friendship, a shoulder to cry on, a purpose for your life, joy, and more.
4. A new relationship is not the answer. More often than not this results in exchanging one set of problems for another. Don’t go into a rebound relationship or new marriage expecting your new partner or spouse to make up for the shortcomings and mistakes of the old partner. I would strongly encourage you to figure out what you want in a relationship before jumping into a new relationship.
5. You need a purpose. Why do you want to make these changes? What is the underlying theme? If you have a driving purpose for the changes, decisions are easier to make.
Most people are content to play the hand that life deals to them. There are few things more noble than taking control of your life and making positive changes. But many people put in a lot of work to change their lives, only to feel disappointed in the end. For your best success, know why you’re changing and be congruent in your decisions.
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