Discover Top Posts Tagged with #kool aid

Kool-Aid Man

[April Fools! Much like the mactonite, this advertising monster was inspired by a conversation I had on the Grindbin Podcast. That episode hasn't been posted yet; I'll post a link to it when it does. Needless to say, the Kool-Aid Man was not the monster in that movie. But the idea of a seven foot tall pitcher that can burst through your wall at any time is pretty terrifying, making the Kool-Aid Man an excellent accidental monster. Rather than going in a dark and edgy direction, I wanted to make my Kool-Aid Man a good faith interpretation of the concept. In gamer lore, powerful monsters like Pazuzu and Hastur listen for their names and pop in if they're said aloud. The Kool-Aid Man actually works like that, but I wanted to give limitations for why an army couldn't just summon a legion of Kool-Aid men to fight for them. And why did I give him ranks in Knowledge (history)? Well:

If you'd like to support what I do, check out the Creature Codex Patreon here!]

Kool-Aid Man CR 9 CN Outsider (extraplanar) This creature is vaguely humanoid, being in the shape of a giant pitcher with muscular arms and legs. A simple, jovial face is painted on its front side. The thing is filled with a bright red liquid with ice cubes floating atop it.

The Kool-Aid men are mysterious creatures native to the Dimension of Dream, perhaps the manifestation of a desire for the perfect beverage. Their bodies are a strange mixture of glass and flavored water, sickly sweet and tasting faintly of fruit. Although they can produce effectively infinite amounts of this beverage, they can charge some of it with healing properties, alleviating wounds, banishing fatigue and even healing ability damage. Kool-Aid men are compelled to share this beverage with others, to the point where naming it aloud, “Hey, Kool-Aid!”, can call one of these creatures into reality to serve and refresh. For some unknown reason, however, Kool-Aid men appear when summoned by bursting violently through a nearby wall. The Kool-Aid man called is happy to heal any wounds caused by flying debris if asked to by its summoner.

Kool-Aid men are boisterous and rowdy, viewing a battle and a party as essentially the same thing. They eagerly fight for their callers if requested to. Kool-Aid men throw haymaker punches backed by the sloshing liquid inside of them, and are skilled at destroying objects such as enemy weapons. If they need a quick exit, or if requested to by the one who called them, a Kool-Aid man can burst through walls of even iron or force, creating a permanent passage.

In calmer moments, Kool-Aid men are surprisingly skilled at alchemy, and use it primarily in developing new and interesting flavors. Most Kool-Aid men are red in hue, and their beverage tastes vaguely like cherry, but they can change their flavor with alchemical supplements. Kool-Aid men typically do not care who they serve or what their agenda is, as long as they can quench the thirst of their allies. The one exception is children—Kool-Aid men will never attack children of any species, and a Kool-Aid man may change its allegiance if a child asks it nicely. All Kool-Aid men are male, and speak with deep voices.

Kool-Aid Man CR 9 XP 6,400 CN Medium outsider (chaos, extraplanar) Init +5; Senses darkvision 60 ft., Perception +19 Defense AC 23, touch 11, flat-footed 22 (+1 Dex, +12 natural) hp 114 (12d10+48) Fort +8, Ref +9, Will +12 DR 10/bludgeoning and magic; Immune ability damage, ability drain, death effects, disease, energy drain, exhaustion, fatigue, necromancy spells and effects, paralysis, poison, sleep, stunning; SR 20 Weakness answer the call Offense Speed 30 ft. Melee 2 slams +17 (2d6+5) Special Attacks burst through Statistics Str 20, Dex 13, Con 19, Int 10, Wis 14, Cha 18 Base Atk +12; CMB +17 (+21 sunder); CMD 28 (30 vs. sunder) Feats Greater Sunder, Improved Initiative, Improved Sunder, Iron Will, Power Attack, Vital Strike Skills Bluff +19, Craft (alchemy) +15, Diplomacy +19, Intimidate +19, Knowledge (history) +15, Perception +17 Languages Common, truespeech SQ refreshing beverage (12/day) Ecology Environment any land (Dimension of Dream) Organization solitary Treasure standard Special Abilities Answer the Call (Su) Whenever a creature says the words “Hey, Kool-Aid!”, there is a 5% chance that a Kool-Aid man is summoned. This percentage increases to 15% if the creature is suffering nonlethal damage from thirst. The Kool-Aid man appears within 30 feet of the creature that called him, using its burst through ability if any appropriate walls are present. The Kool-Aid man remains for 1 hour or until slain, and is friendly to the creature that called it, as per a charm monster effect. Regardless of whether it succeeds or fails, a creature can only attempt to call a Kool-Aid man once per day, and additional Kool-Aid men do not answer the call of that creature’s allies for the next 24 hours. Burst Through (Su) As a full-round action, a Kool-Aid man can burst a five foot wide hole through any wall a foot in width or thinner, regardless of its hardness or material. When a Kool-Aid man bursts through a wall, all creatures in a 5 foot radius of the spot he burst through on the wall’s far side take bludgeoning damage based on the wall’s material: