kovntag backpacking AU where they meet in europe multiple times before traveling together. adam left his job bc he was afraid he was wasting his life and lawrence is a travel journalist with a pretty popular blog. they meet like by chance on the plane, in the hostel, in another country. and then they decide to travel together bc why not? they get to talking and it just kinda. clicks. it gets gay real quick bc they share tents and rooms and sunrises and then one day they get to venice and take a gondola for shits and giggles. the gondolier tells them that theres a legend that says that if two people pass under the bridge of sighs in a gondola theyre together in eternity. they pass under a bridge and lawrence looks at adam and adam looks at lawrence and they smile softly at each other. at some point, probably in the greek isles, they dance as a joke and. kiss. like two days of awkwardness pass and adams curiosity gets the best of him and checks lawrences blog. and all the pictures lawrence has been taking of him and them and their food and nights are featured. and lawrence has gone on 1k words long rants on how great adam is. and adam blushes in the internet cafe in the middle of germany while lawrence asks for directions outside with his limited german. fuck adam is screwed.
Summary: Part of the shiphaus secret santa, my secret santa was kovntag who wanted Adam/Lawrence in the fake funhaus crew universe.
Notes:
I was really nervous to start this because I honestly admire kovntag, hes a cool dude and my fav writer in the fandom so to be able to write something for him is like a huge honor.,, also this au is something Ive wanted to write for for a while so I hope I did it justice! Sorry its a mess I havent written anything in 5 months :,^)
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Impatient fingers tapped on the dashboard in a pattern that matched those of Lawrence’s tapping away at his laptop.
“I just don’t understand why I have to-“
“Yes you do Adam stop bitching,” Lawrence cut his partner off immediately. Normally while the crew went on a heist the older man was left in the getaway car trying to help the crew from the outside while Elyse else sat at the wheel ready to drive as soon as the other joined them, but after a certain trigger happy occurrence a few weeks ago that resulted in too many civilians casualties by the hands of a certain Adam Kovic the brunette had been demoted to getaway driver until he as Bruce put it “got his shit together”. Of course Adam wasn’t too happy about this because he felt his reckless and impulsive nature was better suited “on the field” and Lawrence couldn’t disagree more but honestly he didn’t know what was worse; having him behind a wheel or behind a gun. For now he had to live through these past two missions dealing with Adam’s constant whining which he half hated and half enjoyed because the younger man did look kind of hot when he pouted….
“Can we at least listen to my music when we drive? I’m sick of your night core anime bullshit, it just makes me feel more on edge than I need to be,” Adam bargained, noticing a security guard making his rounds coming their way. In his attempt to act nonchalant he took his time slipping out of the car and motioning for Lawrence to roll down the window after he threw his laptop under the seat.
“I’m just gonna run across the street real quick do you want anything baby? He asked, swiping his hair back in a way that always made Lawrence sweat. Another thing he didn’t hate about being stuck with Adam in the car; his facades always involved them having an established relationship, something he wished wasn’t just a cover up for the missions. Lawrence didn’t even have stop to come up with a flirtatious response before Adam looked over his shoulder and saw the security guard quickly hustle his way back into the bank ignoring the two of them completely. Adam stood up and stretched for a hot second before sauntering back around the car and getting into his seat next to his partner.
“I guess that’s our que to get ready.” Lawrence retrieved his laptop and pulled up several different tabs containing various security codes, cameras, traffic patterns, and the like onto his screen. He needed to focus and he wouldn’t let his attraction to the buff armed brunet distract him from a successful pay day. While Adam surveyed the surrounding cars and tensed his grip on the wheel, Lawrence occupied his eyes with the front door of the establishment knowing the crew were to come out of there at any second. With the cameras already taken out and the team wearing masks there was no risk of being seen coming out the front. A few seconds later and he could hear the gunshots and panicked screaming that flood out of the door as James slammed it open, Bruce and Elyse following suit. As soon as that door was pulled shut by Elyse Lawrence pressed down on his keys setting off the bank’s security system and locking the doors from the inside, something that would buy them some time but not enough. The three piled themselves into the back of the car just as Adam was already pulling out almost slamming into an oncoming car.
“God fucking chill out Adam take this seriously,” Bruce shouted while pulling his door shut. James grabbed the three duffle bags and started to split the money into five various bags then later discarding the duffle bags out the window as they drove on the overpass.
“See this is why I said just fucking leave him in the loft, he’s going to get us killed,” James grunted. There was no malice in his voice, no one of the crew members actually disliked Adam they were just frustrated. Almost two years of successful heists and all of a sudden they were fumbling due to Adam’s negligence, they didn’t want it to end like this and they were just concerned is all. Adam didn’t understand that though.
“Hey fuck you! You were supposed to be out of there a whole two minutes earlier than you were. The road was clear up until that point,” the brunet looked over his shoulder and yelled. Lawrence immediately grabbed him and forced him to look forward.
“Eyes on the road Adam! Focus on getting us to the break off point before you two get into a god damn a fist fight. Now watch out.” Lawrence waited until he saw the stop light a good distance away before he clicked on a few more things in front of him, this time fucking with the light and granting them a clear passage to drive straight through, trying to get them to take as many back streets as possible to avoid as many cars as they could. As Elyse delved out ammo and meet up points to the others Lawrence started zoning out and hyper focusing on Adam’s bulging biceps that twitched and brow that furrowed as he drove. All this adrenaline was getting to him and he couldn’t help but find the other man to be incredibly hot in the moment.
“Ok I’m turning here.” Lawrence snapped of his horny delusion.
“W-What? No! Don’t fucking do that!” He pulled up the location of their second vehicle and started to panic.
“There’s gonna be a fucking blockade right there, why do you think they only have two patrols after us? The rest of there are there!” He pointed as his screen as if Adam could look while he was driving.
“No there isn’t they haven’t set up there in a month it’s like they totally forgot about it I’ll just slip down there to save us time and get there quicker.” Adam started shifting lanes to take the exit complete opposite of where he was supposed to go.
“No that’s literally not how that works! People don’t just forget a street exists how could you be that dumb!” Lawrence wanted to reach over and rip the wheel out of Adam’s hands but that would ultimately end in near death. At this point the three in the back started to chime in, Adam could feel his head pounding and heard his heart beating in his chest he couldn’t even think about the road ahead of him he was just so infuriated that no one even trusted him. In the midst of his frustrations he didn’t even notice the car that veered into his lane, causing him to snap back to reality and turn the other way completely missing the exit he wanted to take. Bruce reached forward and grabbed Adam’s shoulder,
“What the fuck is wrong with you? You really need to get it together Kovic or I’m going to have to have you wiping off guns and counting money with Jacob in the shop.” The car was quiet for once, none of them really had the energy to keep fighting. At this point Adam just felt hurt and he wanted this to be done, he listened to Lawrence and took his route. Lawrence cautiously reached over and laid a warm hand on his thigh,
“Thank you for listening,” he said quietly. Adam licked his lips and shifted in his seat, his mouth was suddenly dry and he felt some type of way. He never really thought about it but in a way he looked up to Lawrence. He admired the way he always put the crew before himself no matter how much they teased him for being a “nerd” and the other crews in the city even went out of their way to call him “useless” because he just sat in the car and pressed buttons but he did so much more than that and it took Adam until right now to realize that. Now here he was, the other man’s reassuring hand so close to him while the others screamed at him from the back. Lawrence wanted his attention and he finally had it. Adam readjusted his grip on the wheel,
“Drop off point is up ahead get ready to hop out, take the three bags and whatever you need in case you encounter trouble. Lawrence and I will head under the bridge and wait it out this way if something happens were more spread out.” Usually the four split off to the second car while Adam found somewhere to ditch the first but in a last attempt to have his way Adam changed it up. Surprisingly no one argued.
“Sounds good to me, maybe Lawrence can teach you a thing or two about following directions while you have your alone time together,” James retorted helping Elyse out of the car after they parked. Nothing else was said as they parted ways. Adam pulled away and made his way to the shadows of the underpass. The silence was broken after a few minutes of waiting it out.
“I’m sorry I got upset with you I just want to make sure we all stay safe and work efficiently. I know how hard this is on you, to feel like you’re always doing something wrong I mean,” Lawrence spoke up while occupying himself with checking police reports and locations. Adam took his glasses off and slid a hand through his hair again, his heart was still beating painstakingly fast He didn’t know how to respond, he wanted to thank him but that could be taken as an invitation to tear him down more. The older man didn’t seem like that kind of person though. Lawrence took the lack of response as an incentive to fil the silence.
“I think you’re a wonderful driver and you clearly want to do your job well to appease everyone but I guess in this kind of business it’s easy to put under a microscope and be ripped apart.” At this point he figured he owed Adam eye contact at least so he shut his laptop and turned his body to face him. He opened his mouth to say more but he wanted to choose his words carefully as he had no idea what his partner was feeling at the moment. He settled with putting his hand on his knee this time.
“Just know that we all love you and were just worried ok?” He gave him a reassuring smile but the way Adam looked at him was a mixture of several emotions he couldn’t put his finger on. Discouragement? Disgust? Disappointment? Out of nowhere he felt a hand grab his and pull him forward forcing his lips to connect with the other mans. This was…sudden. Adam let his impulsive side take over which combined with his adrenaline rushed mind he acted on an urge he felt building up for some time, one that he wasn’t sure if he would regret later but he was hoping he wouldn’t. That was for future Adam to deal with. Lawrence just let himself be pushed back while the younger man climbed over the center console and onto his lap. It’s not like he was going to complain though this isn’t how he saw this going down, but he figured Adam needed to express some deeply hidden emotions and being the caring crew member he was he figured he’d bite the bullet and let him do what he needed to. Adam just continued to frantically grab at Lawrence’s shirt and bring him closer kissing him hungrily and making a satisfied sound when his partner reciprocated. He finally pulled away and mustered up the courage to look Lawrence in the eyes. His pupils were blown out from arousal and his lips were red and puffy from the beating they just took. Adam almost felt bad springing this on him but this seemed to be going better than he expected.
“Can I jack you off?” He blurted out, both hands slithering up to grab either sides of Lawrence’s face, he loved the feeling of his stubble on his hands. Not wanting to disappoint the other man just nodded and Adam flashed him the happiest smile he didn’t even know he was capable of making and it just melted his heart. If he knew letting Adam crank his dick would have made him this happy he would have let him do it sooner. Adam wasted no time undoing his pants and pulling his dick out before he paused.
“Oh uh..I don’t have-” Lawrence cut him off by taking Adam’s hands and putting his fingers in his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the fingers getting a slick coat of saliva around them before pulling them back out.
“There,” he grunted. If Adam were standing his legs would have buckled from how much he was shaking, his actions were actually starting to register in his brain and he was getting self-aware but god did he want this and he wanted it now. The younger man just went ahead and started pumping his partners cock, stumbling at first but when Lawrence gently grabbed the back of his head and pulled him forward for a soft kiss he felt himself relax and enjoy himself. The kiss soon turned into Adam hungrily biting at Lawrence’s bottom lip and sucking on it making it swollen red. Every time he moaned into his mouth Lawrence thrusted up into his hand and they slowly had a rhythm going. Adam soon got sick of the silence and got even more vocal.
“Praise me. Tell me how good I’m doing,” he whined. He figured Lawrence liked talking so much he might as well put that mouth to god use. Plus he just really like hearing him say nice things about him, it made him feel good. Thankfully he didn’t hesitate.
“You did so well today. You didn’t lose your temper too much and you were quick. I have to admit I prefer having you drive because you look really hot behind the wheel.” The last part made Adam shiver. His face was on fire and he buried his face in Lawrence’s neck. All of these emotions smacking him in the face at once was overwhelming and he just couldn’t look at his partner right now. But Lawrence was having none of that, he grabbed the back of his head a little forcefully and made him look at him.
“You’re also really good at pissing me off. You have many talents and your most prominent one is ignoring orders and getting on my nerves. You pretend were boyfriends for the public but yet you fight me on everything. You just like being a tease don’t you?” He growled and bit into Adam’s neck, something they’d both probably regret later. Or not. They both so caught up in the affectionate name calling and thrusting and pumping that they didn’t even have time to register that they were both so close to finishing. Just a few more pumps from Adam’s frantic hand and love marks from Lawrence’s talented mouth and Adam was coming in his pants while Lawrence finished all over his hand. The two just collapsed into the seat and were silent minus the sounds of them breathing heavily. Before they could fully recuperate or even talk about what just happened the flash of red and blue lights was seen in the rearview mirrors and instinctually they both sat up quickly to fix themselves and grab what they needed out of the car. As he opened the door to leave Lawrence was stopped by Adams’ grasp on his wrist, he turned and was met with Adam’s lips yet again.
“See you back in your room?” He asked, his face was hopeful. Lawrence smiled.
“Yeah.” He reassured him.
They then went off in opposite directions, the sound of sirens following suit.
Here’s a drabble! Because I’m disappointed in the lack of wrestling au stuff.
Lawrence has locked himself in his dressing room, and he is seething. He’d known that Adam was going to be out there today. (Not fighting him, of course. No, that sweet chance at vengeance would have wait until another day.) What he hadn’t been counting on was the last minute promo speech that Adam’s manager had apparently been able to push for. He’d heard something about needing to stall for time while Sami Zayn located a missing music track. But he hadn’t been planning on walking out to the viewing booth just to see Adam, of all people, taking the stage.
He should have just high-tailed it out of there as soon as he’d realized what was going on. Instead, it was like he was rooted to the spot. He’d been paralyzed with anger at just the sight of the man, watching as he’d stuttered his way through yet another flippant speech. He’d thrown the name Authority around no less than three times, pacing and running a hand through his hair when he’d lost track of his words. All the while, women had cooed and men had screamed his name. By the time it was all over, Lawrence could see nothing but red.
He’d barely heard James calling out to get his attention and try to calm him down as he’d whipped around to storm back downstairs.
He’s pacing, snaking tendrils of energy slithering just beneath his skin. He catches his reflection in the overlit makeup mirror, sees the black ink that covers his left arm shifting and shimmering restlessly. His mind is a cacophony of hissing whispers that just seem to be thrumming louder and louder the more he walks.
He knows he shouldn’t be doing this right now. He has a match with James in less than an hour. But he’s already run up enough of a bill with all of the dressing room furniture he’s smashed in the last month. The destruction of inanimate objects does nothing to alleviate the burn, anyways. The only real way to quell the hunger would be for him to march over to Adam’s door and break it down. And then break him. Shatter him into a thousand shards, make him a bleeding bed of fine glass.
It would be a glorious sight.
It would also lose him his job and land him in jail.
He doesn’t understand what it is about Adam specifically, but any time Lawrence so much as hears his voice, the spirits nestled deep in his marrow just sing for blood. Maybe it’s that stupid smile that’s almost always on his face, or the ease with which he carries his confidence. The easy answer that sells tickets has to do with their divergent views of The Authority. Lawrence suspects it might just be Adam.
He bristles initially when a knock raps against the opposite side of his door, before realizing that it has to be James. He catches the reflection of his tattoos and notices that they seem to turn translucent green for a moment before solidifying. By the time he wrenches the door open, the marks have settled.
“Are you going to be good to go?” James asks without giving Lawrence a chance to speak. He has one pristine eyebrow raised in a sharp arch and his eyes rake over his partner where he stands in the doorway. His expression is doubtful. “You know we’re on in less than a half hour, right?”
“Yeah, I know,” Lawrence huffs out. He takes a deep breath. “I’ll be fine. Just give me a few more minutes.”
James tilts his head to peer into the room beyond Lawrence’s shoulder, checking for any damages. Seeming satisfied, he nods.
“Ok,” he says. “If you, y’know, need to vent to somebody… I’m here. So is Bruce.”
“No, just-” Lawrence shakes his head. “Ten minutes. I’ll be out.”
James is opening his mouth to say something when Lawrence closes the door on him. He walks back to the table that holds an assortment of snacks and beverages and pours himself a double shot of whiskey.
Their match doesn’t go well at all. Lawrence can’t get to James to tag him in right away when he needs to switch. He gets some time to recover on the sidelines, but it’s not enough. James does what he can. It all goes downhill anyway. By the time it’s obvious they have no chance to turn things around, their opponents are just taunting them.
Lawrence knows it’s his fault. And James is pissed.
When they get backstage afterwards, he doesn’t deck Lawrence, doesn’t yell, doesn’t do anything that he has every right to do. He just levels Lawrence with a look, shoulders rising and falling with his still laboured breaths. He is very calm when he does speak, his voice quieter than usual.
“You need to figure this shit out.” It’s not a request. The way he frames it makes it a requirement. The stakes don’t have to be stated - it’s clear that there is a jeopardy to their professional partnership here. Lawrence knows he can’t be letting his recklessness put someone other than himself at risk out in the ring.
But it’s also not something James expects him to do on his own, or right away. Just… soon.
That much is clear in the way his voice softens when he pointedly says, “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
He waits for Lawrence’s nod to confirm before he goes, even patting his shoulder when he passes.
Lawrence nurses his whiskey at his makeup table for a long time before he finally gets up and wriggles out of his shorts and boots in favour of his infinitely more comfortably street clothes.
After he grabs his gym bag, it takes another couple minutes of staring around the room, vaguely checking to see if there’s anything he’s forgetting, before he has to motivation to leave. When he gets to the door, he breathes deep before opening it.
He is immediately met with the sight of soulful, big, brown eyes and a tentative smile.
Lawrence slams the door in Adam’s face. Loudly.
A noise like a growl comes tearing out of his throat. He crosses the scant feet over his dressing room floor that it takes to kick the vanity chair to the ground. It lands with a crash, wood clattering against tile as the offending piece of furniture skids.
The split lip that he’d earned in his earlier match his apparently reopened, if the taste of warm metal on his tongue is any indication. The symbols on his left arm burn and voices pound the drumbeat of a dead language against his temple. He’s on the edge of bursting.
He squeezes his eyes shut until he sees galaxies, holds his breath, counts to three.
When Lawrence lets the air out again, all his rage is expelled with it. His shoulders sag under the weight of a bone-tired defeat that is just now truly settling in. Really, all he wants right now is to go home to his shitty apartment, sink into his futon and watch cartoons, or maybe play Final Fantasy. And as much as he prays that the living incarnation of his bane won’t still be there when he tries to leave again, he knows better.
He still has to brace himself when he opens the door again.
Adam flinches when the door swings open. He’s standing the tiniest bit farther away, Lawrence notices, but, nope, still there. When he seems positive Lawrence isn’t going to deck him right there, his hand raises and he waggles his fingers in a little wave.
“Uh, hi,” he says. The smile is still timid, and it seems against the laws of physics for such a broad man to look so compact. When Lawrence doesn’t move. Adam takes his chance to continue. “I wanted to knock earlier but, uh… I was kind of scared?”
“What are you doing here?” The question is more tired than irritated.
Adam’s tongue flicks out to swipe across his lips. His eyes wander toward the ceiling and he’s rubbing at his left wrist with his opposite hand.
“I watched your fight,” he says. “I wanted to come by and see if you were doing ok.” He shrugs nervously.
Lawrence sighs, a heavy sound that resigns him to his fate. He shoulders out into the hall and Adam moves with him, waiting just over his shoulder when he turns to lock the door behind him.
He’s still standing there, folded in on himself and looking expectantly at Lawrence. It’s then he realizes that he has yet to say anything.
“Have you been waiting this whole time?” Lawrence blurts.
The halls are dim, light concentrated to the secondary fluorescents embedded into the ceiling only every few feet. The distant hum of an industrial vacuum reaches their ears, muted and far-off. Other than that, it’s quiet - almost eerily so. The usual buzz and clamor of hundreds of people filling the seats just beyond the walls is strikingly absent. Everyone went home long ago.
Except Adam, who stuck around to… what? Check up on Lawrence? Make sure he wasn’t choking on pills and drowning in liquor?
“Why?” Lawrence presses, fingers tingling as he balls them into fists at his sides.
Adam looks a little surprised at that. He shrugs, and then, like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever been sure of: “That’s what you do when you care about people.”
Lawrence’s stomach churns at the admission and he isn’t quite sure what to make of it. There’s a swirl of emotion in his chest and it’s impossible to put a name to the conflicting feelings. The whole thing is confusingly endearing, and Lawrence doesn’t know what to do with himself.
“Do you have a car?” he asks, mouth moving before his brain can fully catch up.
Adam nods.
“Let me walk you out.”
The stupid smile that Adam gives him manages to illuminate the hallway more than the lights.
Lawrence spins to start marching down the hall and he hears Adams footsteps as he scrambles to catch up. When he does, he easily falls in step at Lawrence’s side. His presence is impossible not to notice. He’s almost the exact same height as Lawrence, but his shoulder to waist ratio is something else entirely. It’s an exaggeration to say Adam’s shoulders take up half the hallway, but damn those biceps are ridiculous.
It’s a fairly short walk out to the small, close parking lot that they share with the staff, most of it indoors. There’s a faint early spring chill in the air and Lawrence stuffs his hands in his hoodie pockets.
“Can I ask you something?”
Adam actually jumps a little when he speaks. Lawrence somehow resists the urge to roll his eyes and makes himself finish the question.
“Why do you keep doing this? Trying to make conversation with me, hell, even being nice to me. We’re rivals.”
Adam stops, and the action is so abrupt that Lawrence tenses. He has to quell a spark of dark energy that threatens to leak through, ready to lash out at the first sign of danger.
“Just because people want to see us fight doesn’t mean we can’t be nice to each other,” Adam reasons. He sounds so convinced of the fact that Lawrence is almost ready to believe him.
“I attacked you backstage before you even knew who I was,” Lawrence reminds him, hands flailing in the space between them to emphasize his point. “You should hate me.”
He doesn’t even mention the fact that Adam seems to be scared of him on top of that.
Adam shrugs, head bobbing with the movement of his shoulders. “You didn’t know me either.”
He just walks away after that, scratching his head and mumbling to himself in confusion while he stretches on his toes, looking over the aisles of cars. Lawrence is frozen in place. Adam is so frustratingly, infuriatingly calm, and it’s driving him to the edge. Lawrence wants to scream, wants to tear his hair out, wants to grab Adam by his shoulders and shake some sense into him. Either that or just puree his brain and be done with it.
Because how does Adam not get this? How can he smile shyly at Lawrence every time they pass in the hall, or send him cards when he wins, or wait at Lawrence’s door long past when he should have left just to make sure he is emotionally stable? When all Lawrence wants is to take Adam’s face in his hands and slam him against a brick wall. Repeatedly.
Except, this is his chance. He could tackle Adam right now, while his back is turned. There would be nothing to hold him back - no ring, no rules. And instead he wanders forth through the moonlit dark, wondering what kind of car Adam drives and hoping there is nothing (or no one) waiting at home that Lawrence has kept him from.
“Oh, there it is!” Adam exclaims, stretching his chin to peer over the scantily filled aisle of cars to their right and into the rows beyond. He turns back to Lawrence and his eyes widen in remembrance. “Where did you park?”
It’s Lawrence’s turn to shrug and he makes a fleeting gesture in the same direction Adam is already facing.
“Great!” Adam says enthusiastically. He waits for Lawrence to catch up before bouncing onward with renewed vigor.
They cut through a pair of adjacent empty spaces and directly across a couple more painted rows to get to the farmost edge of the lot. There are only two cars parked against the line of dry grass that meets the pavement. One is Lawrence’s black Nissan, and the other-
“This is me,” Adam says, waving at the red Accord that sits next to Lawrence’s car with only one space between. “Actually, I’m glad you came out here with me. I was kind of worried I wouldn’t be able to find my car. Where’s yours?”
Lawrence gestures forward. “Right there.”
Adam looks between the two vehicles, then at Lawrence. “We parked right next to each other. That’s funny.”
Lawrence has to snort out a laugh at the stupidly obvious comment. Adam apparently takes it as some kind of agreement and smiles over at him. He crosses his arms over his chest a moment later and that’s when Lawrence first realizes he’s wearing nothing to ward against the cold other than a tight t-shirt. But he stays standing in full, open exposure to the weather, watching Lawrence carefully, almost expectantly.
It actually makes Lawrence shift on the balls of his feet. He’s unused to such close scrutiny, and it doesn’t help that he has no idea what Adam is anticipating, or how to either fulfill or contradict it.
“Well,” Lawrence says, swinging his arms. His voice is strained, clipped, and he knows he sounds awkward, but he feels awkward, too. “Good night.”
Adam looks surprised - disappointed? - and for a moment Lawrence fears he’s going to try and say something to prolong this encounter. But he nods and his hands lips into the back pocket of his jeans to retrieve his keys.
“Drive safe,” he tells Lawrence. The note of finality gives Lawrence a means to escape, and he takes it. Quickly. In a flash, he has his own car keys out of his bag and is opening his door to take shelter inside. He gets one foot through before Adam’s voice is interrupting him again.
“We should talk more.”
Lawrence stills, looks back over his shoulder. It’s Adam’s turn to sound awkward. The suggestion - request? - isn’t nearly as easy coming as his conversation from earlier. He’s looking down at where his hands are connected, taking turns bending individually stretching fingers. The soft clicking of his joints is too loud.
“Yeah,” Lawrence says automatically, uncertainly.
As soon as the word is out of his mouth, he is slamming his car door closed and peeling out of the parking lot, the only thought in his mind to put as much distance between himself and Adam as possible. As quickly as possible.
Even he’s not sure what was behind that ‘yeah’. Whether he was actually agreeing in some form or if it was an empty response because he didn’t know what else to say. Bits and pieces of the brief words exchanged between them drift into his consciousness the whole way back to his apartment. The entire thing was jarring, almost unreal, and it all makes something stir within Lawrence’s chest. Something like anticipation, maybe fear.
Both of their parting words lie heavy on his tongue. They felt far too much like a promise.
Well, no, he’s great at everything. That’s not the problem. His current issue is that everyone else is awful at everything. Adding too many little interactions and expressions and, and-
“Gahhhh,” Lawrence grumbles, but it builds into a loud groan as he falls back against his couch. His hands flex uselessly, trying to control the way the universe flows around him, pull it into a manageable shape, but Adam’s small, concerned noise has everything melting again. Wrong wrong wrong.
The flex turns into agitated flaps, turn into light smacks of Lawrence’s ruffled hair, and Adam’s concerned grunts turn into, “Hey, Lawrence, are you okay?”
“No, I’m not, thu-thanks for asking.” God, Lawrence hates when his words start stumbling. He rakes his hands through his hair. Just calm down. Just blank it out. Push it away. He squeezes his eyes shut and tries to focus on the sting when his fingers curl and pull, but that’s too much for an allistic Adam.
There’s a hand on his, trying to guide it away from his hair, “Whoa, you’re gonna hurt yourself,” and Lawrence, embarrassingly, jerks away and flails his hand out at Adam before chewing on it. Well, there goes any semblance of being normal. People are going to think something’s wrong with you…
He’s not upset. He’s frustrated. He doesn’t know how to talk, or what to say- Adam is good and wonderful, he really is, but it’s so hard to try to act right. There’s a reason Lawrence works in a tiny office, alone, separate. People are hard, especially people he likes.
Especially when you try to be like everyone else, act like you aren’t affected by too much, and pretend you feel things you don’t around someone you like.
Adam seems to understand that he needs to stop touching, stays instead of continuing to leave when Lawrence makes a wounded noise. He stays close, picks up the controller, and the game noises returning lets Lawrence focus on something that isn’t the chaos in his skull.
Eventually, he comes uncurled, dries his hand on his shirt. Adam doesn’t give him a disgusted look, just gently reaches out and rubs his thigh when Lawrence doesn’t flinch. “Hey. I’m sorry. I just didn’t want you to pull your hair out, but. You know your limits. If it helps you, I shouldn’t stop you.”
It’s not what Lawrence expected, and he, cool as a cucumber, smooth as ice, blurts out, “Can I kiss you?”
The smile Adam flashes Lawrence makes him feel better than he has in years.
Holy fuck i just got the notification that i was tagged in this by @egocentrifuge
over a fucking year ago what the fuck i’m so sorry
1.Spell your name in songs?
J- Jungle by Jon Bellion
O- Only Everyone Can Judge Me by Crywank
S- Sugar Daddy from Hedwig and the Angry Inch
H- Help by The Front Bottoms
These songs mean a lot to me. Sometimes I truly want to die and music really helps. This music in particular.
2. Why did you choose your URL?
Honestly, when I made this blog I was battling anorexia and I was truly hungry as dicks. I was always hungry, food was the only thing on my mind. It had overtaken my life. I’m for the most part recovered now, but I have kelt the URL to remind myself that it wasn’t a good place to be in and to be strong.
3. What is your middle name?
Michelle. Until the age of 17, I went by the name of Kimberly and I only changed my first name when I came out as trans.
4. If you could be any mythical creature what would you be?
I would be a cryptid. But a cryptid like “The depressed boy behind the Dennys that only comes out at 3 am”
4. Favorite Color?
Yellow. Hands down yellow. I used to tell everyone that yellow was the worst color because I was terrified of people choosing yellow and then it being less special
6. Song that you like right now?
People Ii: The Reckoning by AJJ.
It’s a weird song that makes me smile. When I’m happy it makes me happier and when I feel like shit it makes me smile so all around it’s p great. I also just shaved my head which is kind of a big deal? when i feel bad about it i listen to the song and it helps me not to feel like i should be judged about it
7. Top 4 Fandoms
The Rooster Teeth community and all the surrounding branches that it encompasses.
GMM
Twenty One Pilots
Game Grumps.
8. Tag 9 People
@egocentrifuge
@mariokartology
@kovntag
@funheist
@vengesta
@reks-the-necromancer-king @thilesluna uhh I don’t really communicate with anyone on Tumblr that much so I think seven is enough sorry
@shiphoose this is your kitty cat Kovic and i love him and also kovntag
Adam had been quiet all day.
And not in the sort of ‘focused-I’m-working’ kind of way, in the kind of way where noise was a little too much, and his ears would flick at the slightest disturbance, and questions were answered with absent hums.
Everyone had sort of noticed, but no one knew how to deal with it other than let Adam do his thing and hope that he’d come into work the next day feeling better, that his tail would flick happily as they fucked around in GTA for a few hours. No one but Lawrence, that is.
“Hey, Kovic, come home with me today.” Lawrence said, laying his hand on Adam’s shoulder and making him jump, ears flattening when he realized what had disturbed him.
“I…” He tried to protest, cycling through excuses before settling on the fact that he was just being contrary. And he kind of couldn’t say no at that point. “Sure.” Lawrence only grinned, and Adam prayed to whatever higher power was listening that Lawrence didn’t have something… planned. He didn’t need to be cheered up, damnit.
The hours crawled by, and Adam had resorted to nibbling on pens, denting the cheap plastic with his sharp teeth. It wasn’t the best of habits, and it was probably gonna kill him one day when he accidentally swallowed something, but whatever. It made him less stressed now.
You ready to head out, babe? Adam’s phone buzzed, and he flinched a little, pulled out of his editing. His lips twitched with amusement when he saw who had texted him, seeing as he was sitting about five feet away.
You could just like, talk to me. with your mouth. He shot back, tossing his phone on the desk and digging his claws (ha) back into Premiere.
Yeah, but they’d all make fun of me if I called you babe. They don’t even let James and Elyse get away with that shit and they’re married! Adam looked over his monitor to see Lawrence engrossed in something on his screen, glasses whited out with the reflection.
And when have you ever let them tell you what to do, hon?
Shut up.
Mmhm.
I said shut up, I can see your ears twitching, which means you’re gonna be an asshole. Adam did his best to duck below his monitor, already feeling a smile pull at his lips.
To my Larr? Never.
When are we leaving, Princess Paws?
Call me that again.
“When are we leaving, Princess Paws?” Lawrence said, peeking over his computer only to see Adam slam his head down on his desk, to the amusement of everyone around.
“You let him call you Princess Paws?” James asked, laughing raucously.
“I don’t let him, he’s just a dick!” Adam protested, flipping the both of them off and making Lawrence chuckle.
“Still haven’t answered my question.” Lawrence chimed in.
“If you diiiicks would let me get this video to the render stage, we’d be done here!” Adam snapped, but Lawrence could tell he was smiling, and he saw Adam’s ears perky and flicking.
“Let’s leave His Highness alone, hm?” Lawrence said, barely containing the smile in his voice.
I hate you, Sonntag.
Sure you do.
Half an hour went by, and with a great amount of relief, Adam finally set the video to render and sat back in his chair.
Ready to leave when you are, baby cakes.
Baby cakes, huh? Adam heard Lawrence start to pack up, and figured he should do the same. The video was set to go, and whoever’s the last to go always wrapped shit up anyways. Adam grabbed his jacket off the back of his chair and wandered over to the door, Lawrence quickly catching up to him.
“His Highness is ready to leave now.” Adam smirked, his teeth peeking out, and Lawrence rolled his eyes.
“That’s not a thing now, is it?”
Adam shrugged, grinning and pushing the door open. “I don’t know, you started it, you’re the reason for it.”
“Fine then, I’m never calling you Adam in a video again. Princess Paws you will be forever. Nameburn on Open Haus? I’m forcing it to be Princess Paws.” Lawrence deadpanned before he could deadpan no longer, and he snickered, Adam pushing him gently.
“Take me home, you shit.”
The second Lawrence did, and they were in the door to his apartment, Adam just melted onto the couch.
“Seems like cats really are fluid.” Lawrence remarked, garnering an unimpressed grunt from Adam. He wandered over and squatted by Adam’s face, brow knit with concern.
“You ok, Ad?” Lawrence asked, voice gone soft and gentle as he pet through Adam’s hair.
“Mmnh.” He grunted again. “Work. Hard. Catching up with me.” Lawrence’s shoulders dropped.
“Yeah, I could kind of tell. You were so jumpy at work.” He leaned forward and kissed Adam’s forehead. “None of that shit matters, ok?”
“Your lips are really pink.” Adam mumbled again, and how quiet and soft he is hit Lawrence like a punch to the gut. “Anyone ever tell you that?”
“Think you just did, babe.” Adam closed his eyes and laughed, tail flicking slowly, contentedly, Lawrence had come to learn
“Guess so…” Lawrence stroked a hand through Adam’s hair again, over the soft black fur of his ears as he buried a little further into his arms. “Hey, I’ll make something for us and put on a movie, how does that sound?” Adam nodded, and Lawrence smiled gently. “Ok, Ad, I got you. Get cozy, I’ll take care of you.”
