If I'm not wrong, Ena and Tsukasa both share the same characteristics that is thinking they're not good enough.
Tsukasa is always trying to perform his best while also downplaying his acting, only accepting his ‘best’ wasn't good enough. While Ena, doesn't even know how good her art is, as she's always criticized by her mentors (dad and art teacher). She literally gets happy because her COMPOSITION is great, but the rest of her art is trash.
They both share this mentality that is “I need to be the best, but I'm not even good.”, because of that, they appear to be egotistical asses that don't know when to stop talking.
This was shown when Tsukasa blew up on Nene and Ena calling Mafuyu selfish, Tsukasa wanted his show to be perfect but thought Nene had ruined it whilst Ena thought Mafuyu wasn't being appreciative to Kanade when she gave them the opportunity to shine (and Ena was praised for her drawings, which made her think Mafuyu was a bitch for downplaying Kanade's efforts.)
After their initial thoughts, they actually grow to be a supportive friend to others. But never to themselves. Like how Tsukasa always supported his troupe and Ena supported Mizuki when she was outed.
They both hold themselves onto this high pedestal that they both don't think they even deserve to see, and it's not like they even think they're sitting on it. They're having this pedestal for their talent, yet they don't even think it's good enough to be shown in the spotlight.
Both Tsukasa and Ena also don't communicate properly about their struggles, as they think it's something they both need to handle themselves. Making them tragic cases of their own pride.
So I feel. Like rui and haruka and both so different yet so similar. Rui was seen as an outcast by others, while haruka is seen as perfect by others. But the thing that doesn't set them apart is how they both see themselves as “someone that doesn't fit in”.
Rui is very much obvious, he was always an outcast ever since he was a child, but Haruka is not so much. Haruka is seen as this perfect child idol, who smiles and gives out hope to others. But she doesn't give hope to herself, and she sees herself as fake due to her idol-y persona that she can't seem to take off.
They both happen to have lost hope before high school, even though rui's invention was to give out hope to those around him and haruka's career was to support others to catch their dream.
Haruka was confronted by the girl, whom I forgot the name of, and she sees herself as a phony afterwards. They both also don't take care of themselves, rui being messy with his appearance and haruka being implied to have an ||ED||. Not that important to this, but whatever.
Anyways, they both met their hope. Rui being Tsukasa and Haruka being Minori. Both, at the start, always told themselves that there will never be such change. That there will never be such light. Haruka pushing this ideal onto herself while Minori sees her as her beacon of light, and Rui already believed it when he saw Tsukasa's crash out.
Yet they both got proven wrong by their said partners. Haruka had been given a concert(?) by MMJ and Rui had been given a show my WxS, after those events, they finally started to think "maybe, there is hope for me."
After their interactions, we see Rui becoming more cheerful, as he found his light, that is Tsukasa, and Haruka being more clumsy/imperfect (in her cards), as she found her hope, that is Minori.
They both became the opposite of what they were, Rui being happy and Haruka being a normal human being.
Their growth is still yet growing and improving, after their wilting stage, they were renewed.
If someone asked me, "who's the most well written cookie in crk?" I would say custard cookie because I think he's a very real, prideful child that's also a nepobaby.
Jk, jk.. But yk..
I would say it's eternal sugar cookie.
Why? Because it seems real.
When you ask what most people think is "paradise", then you would get eternal sugar cookie.
Happiness, full of life, no failure. And that? That is eternal sugar cookie. The flaw of that? Most people just dream of it happening. She makes the dream into reality. Creating what we know her as, sloth.
She takes what people want as her advantage. As her own happiness. It makes her feel useful.
Before she became one of the beasts, she was the dutiful Goddess. But then, slowly, _surely_ , encouragement turned into enablement.
People think that she's not that bad compared to someone like shadow milk, but in my opinion, she's just as bad or even worse.
I'm not saying this because I think she's the most evil and that means she's my favorite, I mean this as she's evil and yet she's still my favorite.
She creates graves for cookies to lay inside and let the others dig it up for her, or, in a special case, she digs it herself.
Her obsession with happiness makes it obvious (?) that she isn't just a cursed saviour complex character. Her pain is that when things don't go her way, she will make sure every path that can be crossed will be destroyed.
She's real, yet fake at the same time. She's like an actual person you would know in real life, yet still love. Because the only person who breaks out of the delusion that she's just being helpful is someone who knows what help they need.
And someone like that, eternal sugar deems it as a challenge. Is she happy about having a challenge? No, of course not. But that makes her want to force that person into eternal happiness with her even more.
Obviously, I'm talking about hollyberry.
But without hollyberry in the picture, she's the actual definition of sloth, not just a cookie inspired by the sin.
She's lazy, unwilling to change, and someone who pulls instead of pushes.
What does that mean?
Well, it's just that she's someone who only wants things to be in her line of sight, and if that means she needs to pull things back into her grip, then she will.
She doesn't like push. Pushing or pushed. She only likes things when she can control it.
I feel like this is going nowhere.. But I'm going to continue.
People want someone like her, even if they refuse it.
For some, they might act as if that's weak. That's something that should never have existed, to have something without working hard for it.
But every human is inherently selfish, even you and me. That's why, even if your adrenaline is caused by hard work, in the end, you only dislike things being handed to you on a silver platter because you didn't get your satisfaction from the process.
And eternal sugar cookie? She BANKS on that.
Every cookie that went outside? Everything suddenly becomes impossible. Everything is just so much easier in the garden of paradise, and that is what everyone falls for.
It's not just the thought of having every thing you want already there, it's the fact that everything you want IS there.
She makes people slothful because that's how she lives.
Like I have said before, she's an enabler, but the reason why is almost exactly, if not PERFECTLY like humans.
We're all slothful. We're all imaginative. But we can't have everything we just want.
Until we meet someone who's an enabler.
The enabler would nod at our struggles, help us, and instead of having the results we think we want, we only get the results that are disguised as something even better.
Eternal sugar cookie might not be the best written character out there, but the fact that she's flawed in writing and flawed just like humans, that's what makes her perfect.
She's the image of perfect, but what's under the facade that's truly real?
Eternal sugar cookie is an enabler who's obsessive, and that's different from an obsessive enabler.
Why? Because an enabler who's obsessive is obsessed with their idea of perfection, while an obsessed enabler is just obsessed with enabling people.
Sorry if this is bad, I'll rewrite it when I have a concrete idea.. I just yapped in this 💔
hi! out of any general media you life, who would you say is your fav?
Hai anonnn, I'd sayyy... Wonder egg priority/oshi no ko?
Both of these are both different but still end up in the psychological genre, and I can't choose which one. Ik there's pmmm, but I feel like I need to switch it to one of these bc I haven't finished pmmm yet.
I like wonder egg priority even if the ending's shit, it creates a type of situation where coping is actually grieving. While, yes, you can cope with grieving because you're letting go of the emotions that you've been holding onto, it's also the opposite in some circumstances.
Wep takes this interestingly, like the last sentenced I just typed.
Everyone, especially Ai, is coping through killing the enemies (abusers) that have killed their loved ones.
Except, instead of helping them, it makes them crawl deeper into the hole that they have created for space of their dead loved ones. ("Wdym loved ones? Rika didn't love her fan." Yes, that's true, but her guilt due to her fan's death has been eating her up, so I'm not going to make her into an exception bc the others guilt is also like that. Well, except for neiru, but again, I'm not making exceptions.)
Wonder egg priority explores the 'what if' of suicide, like, what if they aren't happy because their abusers still haunt them? What if the afterlife can't be reached yet because they're not at peace? What if the way you can cope/get over the death of your loved one is to fight the memories, instead of cherishing them? What if the person you admired actually is someone else, and their death exposes their lies?
I like the premise of the anime, truly, and the fact the ending was 'shit' actually helped me deal with my mental issues.
Before you come at me, it's because I've always wanted someone to blame. And to see that frill becomes the 'reason' everyone commits, it makes me feel as if I couldn't help it, and that's okay. Even if when I take the anime out of that perspective, I hate myself for not being able to help.
The MCs are seriously so unique, especially neiru, and I hate that I can't find her easily when looking for pfps under the anime name on Pinterest.
But the character I love because I relate to them? Definitely Ai, even though Rika is a very close second.
Ai grieves through anger, naivety, and the hope that she, herself, can beat everything bad just by her hopes and dreams.
She's not a hero, she's just a girl.
And her stubbornness to realize her perspective can't fix everything is what made her unique to me. Even if I loved everyone.
I want to yap more about wep, but I'll move on to onk. If you'd like me to yap about wep, just ask!
Oshi no ko seems unique when it first came out, but then slowly become 'the average' idol anime. And honestly? I love how it turned out that way. Why? Because it just shows that even when you think you care about idols, you just end up going back to the phase where you just admire their moves and voices. Is this a reach? Definitely, but I'd like to see it that way.
I, despite now being able to express my feelings a bit more clearly now (still struggle a LOT with it though), relate to Ai so much. (Wow, I like both ais most instead of the other characters.)
Despite being an idol, and despite having to say "I love you" as a job, she still wishes to say it without obligation. Idols are always shamed for having love, whether that'd be sex or a deep relationship with someone else other than the fan that's attacking them. They're attacked for being human, and Ai is the most human character in the show, in my opinion.
She lies, yet expects the best to happen to her even though her lies are digging towards her throat. She has a hard time expressing herself, even though her whole image is to express the deepest emotion a human can show.
She puts on a fake smile, which, yes, sounds cringe, is actually her biggest problem.
She doesn't know when to divide her work personality to her real one. Because she didn't have one right before her death.
She's not used to expressing emotions, because she became an idol early during her life that it made her desensitize her emotions to become the perfect girl in the eyes of the fans.
Although she died in the first episode, everyone loved her because she's the most human. She's not portrayed as an edgy character that's emo or emotionless or fake or just someone to pity. She's portrayed as someone who genuinely can't be herself without feeling as if it's another act, so much so that she doesn't even know what she's like without her act.
The moment she says "I love you" to her children, it's so heartbreaking — not only because she's dying, but because she took so long to realize she actually loved them, and not just because they're her children. She genuinely thinks of them as people that she loves, not because she's a mother, but because she's a person.
That's Ai. Someone who performs about love while not knowing what it exactly is, but when she does understands, it's when she dies. And it feels even more heartbreaking because she didn't die not knowing how to feel love, she died when she finally accomplished her goal in life. To love.
The reason why (if I'm not wrong) she had children in the first place is to love someone/some people like how she wanted to be loved. By a mother, by being a mother, and a mother's love is portrayed as the deepest, purest form of love there is.
She had children for a selfish reason, but yet she died holding one of her child whilst saying the selfless thing to say.
And for Ai from wep? She's being selfish by trying to save someone and pushing the others to save their loved ones, even when the others began to think that it's becoming useless.
Both Ais are selfish, and human. The most human I've ever felt connected to, that isn't someone that's trying to help me by sharing their own tales.
They're both human because they're both selfish, naive, and stubborn.
They're both human because they're flawed and selfish when portrayed to be kind and selfless.
They're both humans because they struggle and refuse to let others help them, because they think they can fix it with their own methods.
Ai ignores her therapist, thinking that nothing can become better if her best friend isn't there, whilst Ai had lied and lied again about loving and only wanted to be loved, even if her methods are .. selfish, I guess.
Sorry if I'm wrong, it's been a while since I've actually consumed these media and I'm just remembering what I thought about them.
koychu! fav cake flavor/fruit? not sure if my prev ask got sent (/▽＼)
HAI ANONNN~~~ yes, it did send! But I'll answer this one bc it's the most recent :3
My favorite cake has to be red velvet or cheesecake. Yes, I'm in the red velvet cult. Actually, cult is a weird way to describe it— I'm in the red velvet train hehehehehe...
I like cheesecake a biiit more I think, but boh are my fav!!!! :P
For fruit, uhhh.. Well, I'm a extremely picky eater.. So idrk any fruit I like.. Maybe papayas? I rlly like papayas and don't mind eating them, and I like lychee when they're in a drink! (Not as chunks, but as the flavor hehe..)
But yeah! Those are my favorite cakes and fruits, sorry if its not detailed or have any reason to them :'3
