Lastless Memories
Kim Chaewon
Word Count: 2k (exactly)
Tags: Angsty
Here is a piece that is long overdue.
Anyway, enjoy.
You walk from the living room to the bedroom. There is a girl still wearing a bathrobe as she is trying to pick out her outfit.
“Chaewon! We’re late!”
“Hold on.” She tried to calm you down.
You get frustrated. It isn’t the first time that Chaewon is late.
“The party is supposed to start by now.”
“Wait, Just let me pick something out.” She tries to calm you down.
“Chaewon!” You raised your voice, almost shouting. Your hands wrap out your forehead to reduce the headache. “Argh. Whatever, pick something nice.”
“I will, don’t worry.” Chaewon gets a little irritated but tries to stay calm before anything escalates.
You walk out but not before slamming the door behind you.
Ah Chaewon, would you just. Argh!
You go to the couch and sit down. Your head leans back and your legs spread out, giving you some sense of calmness.
Your relationship with Chaewon is complicated. You love her and still do. But some kinks need to be worked out but you aren’t sure if Chaewon is eye to eye with what you see as the problem with the relationship.
Chaewon comes out of her bedroom with her outfit. She is stunning but your eyes just roll over as you just want to get to the party now.
“Happy?”
“Yes, now let’s go.”
You and Chaewon go to your car and drive off to the party.
“Oppa?”
You grin. “Yes?!”
“What’s with the tone? Is there something wrong?”
“Seriously?! You don’t notice!”
“Is there something I did?”
“Of course there is! There is always something wrong with you?”
“Huh?! What does that suppose to mean?”
“You’re always late like today. We don’t meet often either. It’s like we aren’t spending time together.”
Chaewon turns to you. “Look I just had a project to do. Sorry.”
“Sorry? Sorry isn’t going to cover all the time you have been busy. You aren't the same person as before when we first dated.”
“I have been a busy person. I’m getting more and more responsibilities at work now. I thought you liked that!!!”
“Argh there are a lot of things!”
“What?! Are we just going to argue all night?”
“Well maybe if you have been on time we won’t be arguing!” You raise your voice.
Chaewon sits there shocked and just turns to the window in a curled-up position.
“Chaewon, I’m sorry. I’m just frustrated.” You try to touch her.
But she pushes you away.
“Chaewon, let’s just enjoy the party okay, we can have this conversation later.”
She turns back to you with her arms crossed and pouting. Her lips are shut as you finally arrive at the party.
You park the car and quickly rush to the other side and like a gentleman you open the door for Chaewon. You extend your hand so you can escort her.
But she slaps it away.
“Chaewon. Let’s not be like this tonight. I heard they have your favorite cookie.”
“Cookie? …..Fine. But I’m still mad at you.” She smiles at you as if nothing happened before.
She gets up and starts walking.
You follow her then she puts her hand behind her so you can hold it.
You knock on the door. Then Yuri comes out.
“Oppa!” She runs out and hugs you. “Unnie!” She hugs Chaewon as well.
“Sorry for being late.” You apologize.
“Well, I wished you could have come earlier. But I’m glad both of you are here.”
Yuri welcomes you inside. There is a bustling party going on. It’s to celebrate Yuri’s work friend who is going to move abroad and they want to throw a farewell party.
You’re mainly invited because you’re Yuri’s friend and she wants you to join.
You quickly just find a seat on one of the couches in the living room. You and Chaewon just sit down with your arm over her shoulder.
“I’m hungry,” Chaewon says.
“Okay, I’ll get some food.” You stand up and head to the table and get something to eat.
You return to Chaewon you see her talking to another guy while smiling. You run to the guy and pull his collar. “Ya! That’s my girlfriend.”
Chaewon gets up and stops you.
“Oppa! What are you doing?!”
You lower your fist and quickly face Chaewon. “What are you cheating on me now?”
“Cheating?! I can’t believe you think I’m cheating! I hate you!”
You sigh a quick breath of disbelief.
People start to gather around you. Yuri comes over and tries to separate you from the other guy. “Oppa let’s go.”
“Don’t worry. I was just about to leave.”
You leave the party and Chaewon. You cannot believe what she just said to you.
Hate you?
Is it over?
It’s already late at night. Almost midnight. The fight made you tired and the food made you full. As you drive, you get tired. Your eyes start to droop. You try to wake yourself up as it is very dangerous for you to sleep while at the wheel especially since you are driving on an elevated highway.
Then your eyelids start to fall once. But you slap your face. Once again your eyes start to droop. Again your try to stay awake. Then your eyes droop for the…last…time….
~~
A nurse heads over back to the nurse’s station.
“Oh my…Gosh! If Mr. Lee calms me over one more time….I’m going to….”
The head nurse comes over and consoles her. “Hey! We all did it once. You’re the new guy so um….just suck it up.”
“Fine….” She replies. “Yes, sir.”
Then the buzzer turns on again.
“Dammit! I just got here!”
The head nurse looks at which room is calling.
“Hold on, Eunbi. It’s that room. Call the doctor!”
Eunbi runs to the resident on call while the head nurse runs to the room.
There you are comatose on the bed, leads linked up to you. Your IV pinched to your body. You press the help button one more time with your weak hands.
The head nurse comes over and checks your vitals. He does a quick note down on your heart rate, breathing, and other important notes.
Then the doctor comes in with his resident.
You try to speak but barely make any noise. “What…happ…”
“Shhhhh…..” The doctor tries to calm you down. “You have been in a coma for the past two years…”
Then your heart rate goes up. You start to have a small panic attack, hyperventilating even. But the doctor is doing his best to try to calm you down. He was able to lower your heart and slow down your breathing. But still the thought of losing two years of your life.
~~
You try to eat even in your weak state. Your arms and legs look very small like they haven’t exercised in years which they haven’t. But the nurse assists you as best as she can. But you barely eat. You don’t have much appetite for anything.
Finally, after a couple of days, you can finally walk with assistance. You head to the bathroom to wash your face. There you are, almost like a skeleton with an unkempt beard. You shave the beard but still not in the best shape. It is like the nurse is there for you to do everything. You are too weak to do anything for yourself.
Finally, it is the weekend, your parents visit.
Your mom comes over and hugs you. “Oh my gosh, my baby.” Her tight embrace surrounds you. Your dad joins in and you can feel their love for you.
It is already lunchtime and your meal arrives. Your arms are very skinny or skinnier than what was before. Your legs are not any better. That is why you need to eat as much as you can. You smile as you eat some nutrition as you look at your parents.
Then a knock on the door.
“Come in!” Your mom exclaims.
In comes, Yuri and a friend of hers. She comes and runs to you and hugs you and kisses you. You sit there shocked. “Babe, I’m so worried.”
“Sorry? Do I know you?”
“What….?”
Your mom comes up and says. “The doctor said he might have amnesia.”
“Oh, don’t you remember about me?” She replies. “It’s me, Chaewon.”
Then a rush of memories comes back. That night comes back. “Chaewon….”
Her eyes start to tear up. “Oppa…”
“I do remember you.”
“I knew it! We can just…”
“You said you hate me.”
Chaewon’s jaw drops. She cannot believe that is what you remember. Her memories are still fresh even after the two years you are gone.
She runs outside to the waiting room.
Yuri is just there still comprehending what just happened. “Oppa, you okay? Is that all you remember of her?”
“Yeah….”
“I just…. I’m just happy you are back.” Yuri says.
“Go with her…who…? What’s her name again?”
“Chaewon.”
Yuri runs out to Chaewon to comfort her.
Your mom comes over with her tea in one hand and her other stroking your hair.
“Mom. Who was she?”
“She was your girlfriend, baby. Can’t you…”
You stare at her.
“…yeah you can’t.”
You go back to your food, slurping some of your soup.
“She was a good girl, you know. Your dad and I liked her.”
“All I remember of her is that we had an argument and she….hated….me.”
Chaewon and Yuri come back to the room.
Chaewon comes up to you and holds your hand. “Oppa, please remember me. I love you.”
“I’m sorry. I remember you. You hurt me. Can you just…leave?”
She rushes outside to the waiting area. Now she can feel the hurt all over again. The news she felt when she first heard of you in the car accident. You can’t remember her. The only thing you know about her is the pain of the night when you had your argument.
Her eyes waterfall their way out of her eyes. Even if Yuri is there to comfort her. Nothing can be done to fix her heart. She has regretted everything since then. The fighting, the constant argument. Even if she knows that you only remember that night, it is still impossible for her to think that you are gone for her.
She mutters the small words to herself. “I love you, Oppa. Please forgive me.”
Yuri hugs her tight. “Unnie, let's go.” She holds Chaewon and brings her to the elevator.
~~
“Yuri, do you think this is too much?” Chaweon shows her a bouquet of flowers.
“Unnie, this isn’t a funeral. He’s alive.”
“I know but…I’m trying to you know.”
“Take him back.”
“Aren’t you obsess with this?”
“I love him!” Chaewon shouts. “I know he still does.”
Yuri then knocks on your door.
You are happy when you see Yuri but then when Chaewon comes. You start to frown.
Chaewon shuffles her way to you with her flower. “These are for you.”
You stare at her blankly like no emotions except hate. Slowly the memories come back. But the hurtful ones. Nothing but pain and anguish is what’s in your heart.
Chaewon tries to hug you. But you push her away. She insists but you just deny any of her advances.
“What are you doing?!” You shout.
“Oppa…”
“Don’t oppa me.”
“But….”
“Yuri, why is she here?”
“She’s your girlfriend, oppa.”
You sigh. “Is that true?” You turn to Chaewon.
She nods cutely.
To be honest, her small aegyo does bring a smile to your face but you hide it before anyone else sees it.
“Chaewon…”
“Yes?!” She gets excited.
“Leave me alone. I can’t don’t this.”
“What do you mean?”
“You…me….even if it’s true that you’re my girlfriend. It isn’t going to happen anymore. I am hurt too much.”
Her face is dejected. She ran out of options. Nothing can bring the good memories back. She knows that it was her last chance and it failed.
Chaewon looks at you. “I enjoyed this…I enjoyed us.”
