it’s so weird to be writing a blog about the fact that i’ve shifted, i’m so happy and honestly still in shock. it’s so real and so strange to see myself through a new body, a new room, a new lifestyle, and to have all the memories as if it’s always been my reality (I know this reality has always existed and it’s just a shift in consciousness, but you see what I mean?)
i shifted during the night of april 5 to 6, 2025. i was just so tired of this reality—just the thought of spending another day here was making me "angry". personally, i don’t use any method, no subliminals (except sometimes), i don’t visualize super well, i can’t focus 100% on anything. all i have is the deep desire to shift and fully dive into that reality.
i looked at my pinterest boards, quickly went over my script, watched a few videos related to my dr, then closed my eyes. i put on songs that brought me closer to my dr, i thought about what i was going to do once i got there, what I’ve already done, i imagined the next day—what my day would be like (i didn’t script where or when i’d arrive in my dr), there are some dishes i can’t wait to try — i was already imagining myself ordering them and eating so much of them.
i was just there, daydreaming about this reality
i repeating affirmations to myself a few time: i am aware of my desired reality and i am in my desired reality.
then suddenly, i felt like i wasn’t in my room anymore, and when i opened my eyes, i discovered my new room. I didn’t feel anything, see white flashes, hear voices, or anything like what I’ve read here. I was just there.
i touched my hair, looked all around me—guys, it’s so real. it’s not a lucid dream, i even did the five fingers test + pinches.
how real is it? you see the way you’re lying on your bed and you feel the sheets all along your body, sitting on your chair, you feel the texture of the seat, and you’re looking at the room you’re in — you see that 3d, that vividness, the details — it’s like that. there’s absolutely nothing dreamlike about it, and it’s incredible how real it is.
i’m not planning to stay long here (I plan to shift now tbh.), and most importantly, i’m a permashifter now. but please, guys, don’t give up! you deserve to live your dream life, i shifted so you can.
PAIRING ᯓ (chu iruri) bnd 7th member x boynextdoor members
navigation
read here about leehan x iruri (their love story n headcanons n moments)
leehan x iruri x bnd first meeting
synopsis ᯓ moments, headcannons, dynamics, etc between iruri and boynextdoor
note ᯓ woo i pumped this out in one night as i also wrote the leehan x iruri chapter too, i did wrote this in a blur so please excuse the weirdness of this lol, for these headcannon chapters i am a little bit more unhinged compared to the other properly written chapters. oh and there won't be a lot leehan in this because he will get his own chapter~
WORD COUNT: 6.2K
(play this video! It's i made two quick edits)
In the beginning, iruri never truly felt at home in Korea. She had flown to Korea for the first time, she was alone in a country that she never truly belong to. Yes—she understood everyone around her, and the culture was familiar but there was nothing special that tied her to the country. That wasn’t until she met the members. ‘They’re the reason I call Korea my home’
One of my favourite dynamics is sungho and iruri, they are the closest in age, being only five days apart, despite that iruri babies him.
The only person who can baby sungho is iruri, and she loves doing it but more so, sungho pretends he doesn’t but we all know you’re lying sungho. 🙂↕️🫵
Sungho will reject her affections but at the same time, will follow her around— that iruri once said ‘he becomes younger when he’s around me’, that even though he has to be the hyung most of the times, when hes with iruri, he gets to be the younger one. The one to be taken care of, he can fool around and get dotted on. ‘He won’t ever admit it, but i think he likes acting silly, but only around me— he won’t do it around the younger ones, or more so, he acts like a kid around me, which i prefer. I want him to be able to act like that’ and the members agree with this, with leehan saying ‘sungho hyung acts cuter around noona’ or riwoo said ‘sungho is softer with noona’
Jaehyun keeps this to himself, but his favourite member is actually iruri. Like on a deep level, he loves her the most, they are literally the best platonic relationship in boynextdoor. You know how the leader is never the oldest, so that there is someone for the leader to lean on? And Iruri has openly said, ‘Jaehyun takes care of boynextdoor as the leader, so someone needs to take care of him, and that person is me.’
This too, iruri is the member that they all rely on, but it was programed this way. She debuted first. She has the most experience in the industry being a producer, she has always been able to guide them through it. This was why even though the others wanted her to be leader, zico decided against it. That jaehyun would be the leader, and if he or the group ever stumbled, iruri would push them back up.
Which has been evident countless times, the amount of times in the studio where usually its just zico and their producers, they know to bring iruri in too, as her presence calmed them—plus she guided them through recordings more efficiently since she understood them best.
Iruri is known for being extremely sweet, especially by idols who she’s worked with. She’s known for being attentive and actually giving good advice in order to get the song right. Most producers are there to get the idols to sing the part right, but iruri is always gentle and encouraging with them, even if they are her seniors.
Which she gets even softer with her members. And idols younger than her.
For bnd, when she directs them, she takes it slow and ensures they understand the instructions first, and gives them time to go over parts they aren’t satisfied with. Which she’s noticed is usually taesan. So iruri tends to spend the most time with taesan in the booth, just running over the same lines again and again. Even though they already have the perfect take, she won’t accept it until taesan is also satisfied with it.
Further, iruri is the backbone of the group. And in a way, KOZ.
She tends to speak her mind to zico. Even if she’s going against the company’s opinion or zico’s opinion. She’s voiced that she knows the members (especially when they were still rookies) were too scared to voice issues but coming from her culture and how she was raised. She’s blunt and to the point.
She will voice her disagreement with things, or express a different alternative to matters regarding the group. ‘ the way i was raised was to never hold back in voicing my concerns, we’re straight to the point type of people.’
‘I don’t hesitate when it comes to talking back to the company or even zico pdnim. why would i have to? I make them the most profit.’ 🙂↕️💅
Which people have praised and also criticized her for. As being ‘too outspoken’ to some seemed rude/ being rude to elders/superiors. But she simply answered with ‘but that thinking doesn’t benefit me or my team so why should i follow that?’
During one of those heartfelt moments, iruri revealed that she is actually waiting for the right time for her to take the members back to her home country, that is her one true wish is to show her new found family her family back home.
The members haven’t formally met iruri’s father, since he’s busy in switzerland working at the restaurant. But he loves them dearly and treats them as his own kids. Saying that woonhak is his favourite because they have almost identical personalities. Her father also occasionally sends them care-packages. Which he actually will send one big shipment of swiss items for iruri since she misses them, and will send another shipment for the boys, like food, clothes, and gifts. But not only that, he will send care-packages to their families, mostly expensive wine, cheese, and chocolate from Switzerland. Iruri usually will tell him that it’s too much and he’s gone overboard with the gifts, but he’s expressed that it’s his way to make up for the fact he can’t be in korea with them to support them.
But going back to the topic of Switzerland, the members have expressed a deep desire to go to Switzerland, specifically where iruri grew up. But they said they’re going to save it for a time where they have reached a huge achievement, like winning a Daesang (grand prize) — that they’ll go on a group vacation all together to Switzerland.
Iruri lived in the alps and actually owns a ranch, so iruri has her own horses that she grew up with. They lived on the grassy hills and iruri spent her childhood frolicking on the hills and riding around on her horse— all the baby photos she’s shared are either her outdoors on the alps with her horses or in the kitchen cooking with her dad.
The members always express how beautiful the alps are and wish one day they’ll be able to visit her childhood home, see her horses and stand on those hills and experience the view from there. Riwoo said that, Iruri doesn’t express it often, but she really does miss her home, that once he caught her watching videos of other people visiting the alps and near her home simply because she wanted to hear the sounds of her home. Which made him feel really guilty, thinking how all the members could go home to their families and home but iruri wasn’t able to do the same.
Iruri has also stated that as much she wished to go home, she more so wanted to share her home with the members. ‘I rather not go home at all if they don’t come with me, i want to share my home with them’
Once iruri said ‘I will sing as long and as hard as I can until i lose my voice’ when she first join bnd, this btw made them admire her. This was one of their first impressions of her, and it imprinted on them. Like they will still mention this as their driving force to keep going. Like sungho and jaehyun recently talked during the episode where they're on the beach at night, and they're sharing their worries doubts, sungho talking about what their life is like and is this what their supposed to be doing, ‘is this what our life is?’ (something along those lines), and they brought up iruri’s comment from way back in predebut.
Wanna know something cute? Iruri used to secretly make woonhak his school lunches. 🥺
So when she first joined, the process of bonding with each member took different lengths of time. Some longer than others, the last member iruri won over was woonhak. You would think he’d be the first, but no, it was actually leehan and taesan.
Yes, woonhak spent a whole month being distant to iruri, not because he hated her, it was more so he didn’t know how to approach her, he admired her remember? He loved her songs and idolized her as a producer. And being the oldest and youngest dynamic, woonhak was too stubborn to get over his initial shock of her addition to the group. It was also an aspect that he felt inadequate as a member, looking at her talent and achievements, he felt pressure and almost shame. ‘Why can’t i be as good as her? I’ve been a trainee longer, why can’t I produce or sing like that?’
But iruri knew, she could tell that the young boy was just being stubborn and a little shy to break the ice. But iruri didn’t want to force a relationship with him, she was actually fond of him the moment they met. And the more time she spent observing the members, she noticed that even with members he’s already close with he doesn’t want to be showered in affection, he has enough of them from jaehyun alone. So she tried a different approach.
Iruri took care of him, but never in front of him (?). She took care of things when he wasn’t looking and just never told him it was her.
First example, his school lunches. See before she came, the younger members; leehan and taesan were taken care of by sungho, to ensure they went to school and what not. But by the time Iruri joined, only woonhak was left with school.
And as she observed their routines, she noticed that he would just eat lunch provided by the school but she overheard him complaining about it to the others, saying that the portion was too small, and that he wished he could eat more for lunch since he has to go to training right after school.
And hearing the others try to give him solutions, all which were scrapped since they were all too busy to prepare him lunch or even go buy him lunches. Iruri decided to bring it upon herself to take care of his lunches.
So from then on, Iruri would stay up 1hr early to prep all of the ingredients the night before, and wake up 1hr early the next morning to prep the food to make sure it stayed warm til lunch. She would do this 5 days a week, she even went as far to ask their nutritionist what meals woonhak needed.
But she never outright said anything to him, well, she’d leave notes for him by his lunches. It was mostly just asking if he liked the lunch she made, or to give her feedback on it.
At the beginning of her little plan, woonhak was flustered. He still ate it of course but he didn’t know how to approach her with the topic of his lunches. At first he thought it was their manager or staff that did it so he didn’t pay much mind to it. (lol it kinda made her sad since she thought he was ignoring her lunches)
But once, Woonhak had woken up early for school, he was just hanging in his room before he had to get ready for school, but seeing all the time he had he decided to make breakfast, but thats when he caught iruri making his lunches.
remember this was them predebut, yes they all lived together already but since woonhak had school, his schedules aligned less then with the others.
He stood there in the dark, watching her— still half asleep, hair messy, quietly rolling up kimbaps for his lunch, and pouring hot soup into a container to keep it warm til lunch, and since he has a big appetite, she even brought out a tub of more food for him. He stood there the whole time just watching her. Like after she was done putting all the kimbaps into the box, she moved on making some meat for him since he needs the protein (he’s a growing boy 💪).
When woonhak recounted this memory on their predebut livestream, he said that, ‘she took so much care with making my lunches, we weren’t close back then and yet she cook for me with such love’ and ‘i really felt like, ‘ah noona really cares for me’ and i felt so guilty for not trying to become close with her’
This became an infamous story amongst them, like the bathroom water fight incident. This was the school lunch incident.
Iruri actually used her own allowance to feed woonhak at this time. ‘Noona fed us with her own money. Money she worked hard for, she used it on us when she barely knew us a month’
But after woonhak found out, he started approaching her more and eventually, he thanked her for the lunches. And ever since they’ve been close as two peas in a pod.
What else is cute, is that after woonhak got over his shy spell with iruri, he starting coming to her like a little brother would to his sister. Like he’d complain about school to her, talk about the lunches she made, giving suggestions on what other meals she should make next, going grocery shopping together to make the members meals and his lunch, iruri went to his school events, she’d pick him up from school, or feeding him the moment he steps foot home.
But funnily enough, when asked ‘what was something iruri has done for you that stuck with you?’ and the others guessed the things above, but woonhak’s answer wasn’t any of those. His answer was ‘when she ironed my school uniform.’
It was the one thing she did in secret. She never told him it but he started to notice that she would leave his room right before he finished showering the night before school, he never asked what for, but over time he realised that she went in his room while he showered to iron his uniform. ‘I started doing it when once I walked with him to school and i noticed his uniform was a little wrinkly and i thought ‘ah… this won’t do’ and so i just started ironing his uniforms’
Jaehyun has said during a livestream once, ‘myung jaehyun, chu iruri, lee sanghyeok, park sungho, han dongmin, kim woonhak, kim donghyun, the first one to leave the group would be the one to end their life.’ and iruri responded immediately with ‘I want to be the last to die.’
The members were a little flustered by her answer, which she explained further, if she died first, ‘they’d have a hard time’ and that she didn’t want them to be in pain because of her, so if they all died before her, she would be the one to bare the pain of losing them. ‘I don’t want any of you guys to lose me so i rather shoulder the pain of losing you all’
On a livestream, jaehyun was really hungry and wanted to eat but since they were livestreaming he had to keep talking, so before it started she whispered to him ‘just keep eating, i’ll do the talking’ and ‘i’ll keep talking, you just eat’
During their babysitting episode, the twins actually clung to her, they cried so much but would stop if she picked them up. Turns out, it was because iruri’s tone/voice was actually similar to their mom. To the point that, when she was cooking them their meal, doyun (one of the twins) wanted to be held, so she picked him up in one arm and continued to cook, but her arm was sore after a while so she propped her leg on the counter to rest him on it. Which made the members say she looked like a mom, ‘woah noona you look like my mom, i was like this when i was young too, i bothered my mom when she was cooking too’ and iruri even talked to the twins’ mom/uncle kibong’s wife ‘are they like that when you cook too?’ and their mom just said ‘you literally did exactly what i do’
The members have pointed out that, iruri has a habit of standing to the side or standing back to let the others shine first.
So this could translate to, first walking around to say goodbye to fans, she’ll be the last to leave, and the last to arrive on stage. Not because she’s late or anything but say its during the encore part, she’ll let the members shine and go on ahead first, to keep the attention on them.
This is usually evident during public appearances, she is the most popular member (cuz of her solo stuff), but for things like, award speeches— she’ll let them speak first before she finishes it off in english (she takes care of the languages)
Even Zico noticed, ‘do you know how she looks at you guys? she's always in the back and just stares at you guys with this look on her face’
But this reminds me that, even during her speeches, the first people she thanks and mentions is boynextdoor, thanking them individually before moving on.
Other idols and public reaction to seeing iruri in boynextdoor were mixed. Mostly because people were shocked to see how comfortable all of them were with each other, especially physically. They weren’t shy to touch each other, like simple hand holding or an arm around her shoulder were normal to them, so once they debuted and continued that behaviour—people were gagged.
The way that iruri scolds the member is funny too, she treats them like toddlers.
If one of them misbehaves, she makes them stand facing the wall, their ‘time-out’, or if they fight, she’ll threaten them with ‘if you two don’t work this out, you have to hold hands for the rest of the day.’ this has worked every time.
Who does it work best on? Leehan and Taesan. To the point the staff use the same punishment. Like you know when they were rehearsing, and taesan was like ‘leehan is too loud in my in-ear’ and leehan was like ‘taesan is too loud on mine too’ the staff was like ‘you two work it out or hold hands’. The others get a huge kick out of this, well when they aren’t the ones being threatened by it.
And about their ‘time-outs’, it was talked about many times, its well known amongst onedoor. To the point one door will use it against the members to scold them jokingly. For example, ‘aa riwoo you were too handsome in this, you’re in time out, go face the wall.’ and they’d reply with either ‘yes ma’am’ or ‘hmph only iruri noona can say that to me’
Oh and something cute as well, sometimes they’ll ask iruri for permission before doing something, like for example in the new episode, they asked iruri if they could swimming, or asking for permission to go grab a drink during the sauna episode. It’s kinda habit for them just to ask her before doing something, but its not like its because they need permission, its mostly because they trust her judgement. Sometimes they’ll ask for something and she’ll point out a reason why they shouldn’t, like ‘you just ate, go swim in 10 minutes’ or ‘you haven’t eaten yet, eat first than get a drink, don’t drink that on an empty stomach’
But sometimes she’s cheeky, she’ll be like ‘give me aegyo/do something cute first’
Its the funniest when it comes to taesan, cause he will sometimes outright refuse to (it breaks his character), but he’ll do it reluctantly anyways, why? Because it’s his noona. He’ll whine of course, but sometimes she’ll let him go easy, like he’ll whine and she be like ‘oh! That whining was cute, okay go ahead’
Do they fight over who’s her favourite? Yes. Everytime she says ‘oh you’re my favourite’ they’ll go and brag to the others and they start arguing ‘psh, noona said i was her favourite last week’ ‘HA! She said i was her favourite this morning!’
Iruri is chronically online.
She will make them do niche tiktoks. Do they understand what the meme is? No. but they still find it funny, plus iruri has so much fun, so why would they stop?
You know, onedoor has joked that, woonhak ‘is still under adult supervision’ why? Because in any tiktoks or pictures, you will be able to spot or hear iruri in the back.
Back during their predebut era, riwoo was one fo the first to become close with iruri, mostly because she knew that if she just kept bringing him pastries, they’d be friends. It worked in one week.
She actually introduced him to his favourite donuts of all time, and when she said that ‘oh i can make that really easily’, i swear his neck almost snapped at how quick he stared at her. His eyes clearly begging for her to do so.
Riwoo has revealed that, he worries for her health the most because she’s so busy and there was a point he didn’t even know if she slept. She’d be up in the early morning composing, producing, sending demos, recording demos, reviewing songs, etc. her room light is almost never off, and then once she’s done with her work, she goes to the kitchen to write out recipes to send to the show and then she’ll cook for the others, then if she has a solo schedule she leave early before the others wake up. This was before they debuted, riwoo always noticed how hectic her schedule was, they were hectic too as they were preparing to debut in a month, but hers was double.
When the members brought their concerns up, this was the first time they all got together to talk to iruri about her schedule. She reassured them that this was nothing she couldn’t handle as her old schedule when she worked at the restaurant was just the same, she also had to manage her job as a composer and producer, work in a high end restaurant, release her own music, be on call 24/7 for korean-time zone work calls.
But riwoo being riwoo, couldn’t help but want to do something, so he’d would wake up around the time she did, order coffee for her and then go back to sleep, knowing full well she could just do it herself. He knows exactly what order she’d get too. He never even asked, he just observed.
Riwoo and iruri is literally the hamilton meme, riwoo: ‘iruri come back to sleep’ iruri: ‘i have an early meeting out of time’ riwoo: ‘its still dark outside’ iruri: ‘i know, i just need to write something down’
Ahh that reminds me, my 03 line. Those four kill me. Like sometimes you’ll see those three messing around, like riwoo being hilarious, jaehyun matching his energy and sungho ijboling and iruri will either join them or you’ll see her standing behind them and watching them so lovingly it literally hurts.
Once the members complained that, iruri never cried with them, but once asked about it, she said that, ‘if you all are crying who’s left to wipe your tears’ and ‘i want to cry too, but i want to make sure you guys are okay first.’ and that when the members cry, she’s always the first by their side. Especially Jaehyun and Leehan, jaehyun who cries alot and leehan who cries at others crying. Jaehyun is so used to Iruri being the first to comfort him when he cries that, if she isn’t right there when he starts crying he will go to her.
The boys have cried into her neck or chest before, jaehyun said that the first time taesan cried in front of onedoor, he literally clung to iruri, and he only calmed down because she was patting his back.
Leehan actually has the habit to hide behind her when he cries, like he’ll cling to her back or hide his face in her neck as he cries— especially if its in front of onedoor
All the members attended her mini concert. Jaehyun started twerking when he appeared on the big screen (he was dancing to gnarly). The members are always the biggest supporters during her performances.
So you know how jaehyun has his ‘leader mode’ when he’s all professional and serious as a leader, well iruri has her ‘audie mode’ when she’s composing or producing.
The members coined it for when iruri acts professional, i mean she has composed and produced since she was a teen, working with big groups like exo, blackpink, bts, twice, red velvet, etc.
Taesan said that she’s the coolest when she’s composing or when she’s producing
And that when it comes to her working on her own songs, she’s self directing herself too. You know how usually its the idol in the booth while the producers are there outside to direct and record? Well iruri does the whole process start to finish alone.
She will be in that booth, by herself, with the panel in front of her. There are times where she wont even realise someone walked in, its usually the members and/or zico. And yes the members do ask to watch as she produces and records her own songs.
ALSO. do you realise how possessive they are. Especially the maknae line.
I don't know why but damn, they always hovering around her, like they have no concept of personal space. They like holding her hands btw.
And one my favourite moments of bnd and iruri is during their latest concert, during the ending talk session, when woonhak started crying. He revealed a story that happened recently that really broke his heart. But he was crying too much to tell the story so jaehyun took over.
Jaehyun has expressed that because he’s the leader, he tends to shoulder a lot of the burden, but that in reality when he really thought about it, a lot of that weight was shared with iruri. That she also shoulders a lot of the weight of responsibility for the group. Jaehyun said that because of the mc job he represented the group, but he also remembers that iruri is also doing the same, and has been doing it longer and works the hardest amongst them yet never complains. That not only was she promoting and representing the group during her cooking show, but also during her solo work, then also as a composer and a producer. And that she bears the burden of the entire group.
‘So when iruri had a personal issue, she tends to keep it to herself.’ This has become a problem before, as the members especially the younger ones, wish that she wouldn’t keep all that burden to herself. But old habits die hard.
So when her father had a sudden health issue, and had to have surgery. She didn’t tell anyone. The week leading up to his surgery, she was still the same bright and happy iruri everyone knew. She showed no sign of her anxiety and fear. It was a busy week for them. An important week, the week to prepare for their concert. She couldn’t burden them with her problems when they already had so much to worry about. She didn’t even tell the staff, manager or zico.
She struggled alone in private.
She cried after she called her father. He had called her right before his surgery, it wasn’t a risky surgery, it was just the anxiety of not being physically there with him. The anxiety gnawed at her— which resulted in her having a full blown breakdown after he hung up. Through this she did not realise that the other members had heard her sobs through the door, but since she had locked the door, they couldn’t get in. she lied, saying she had stomach pain and shooed them away.
Throughout the day however, she was visibly and noticeably shaken. Her smile didn’t reach her eyes. Her hands shook slightly, she kept checking her phone, and she kept zoning out. They noticed, everyone did. Of course they did, for someone who was usually talkative, to suddenly stop was concerning. Riwoo was the first to really notice and bring it up, even as to ask if something happened, but she brushed him off, saying she was just a little tired. But the members knew it was related to whatever happened in her room.
Not till after her dad had called her to tell her that he was fine and in recovery, did her nerves calm down. After a long conversation, of which she cried through the whole thing, telling him that she was so scared— she felt like a little girl again, like when a child gets left alone and gets scared because they can't see their parents. But she was relieved to hear the surgery was successful, and for him to recover properly and take care of himself because she wasn’t there. Specifically telling him she felt so guilty not being able to be there to help him recover, he reassured her, saying that she was being scared over nothing, it wasn’t major surgery.
But by the time she hung up, the flood gates broke. Her body exhausted from the hours of worry, she just sank to the floor, completely bawling her eyes out, not bottling up her emotions anymore.
What she didn't know was that the whole time, the others heard the whole conversation. Riwoo was the one to notice her crying, which brought attention to the others. When she had hung up and sank to the floor, the boys slowly walked in. Jaehyun and Woonhak were already crying. ‘Noona…’ she didn’t turn to look, she knew it was woonhak, ‘why… why didn’t you say anything?’ and only when she heard jaehyun’s voice cracking did she turn to them, ‘why didn’t you tell us?’ she just quickly mumbled ‘i’m okay dont worry’ as they slowly approached her, and that ‘this isn’t your burden to carry’ which made sungho who was holding back his tears, ‘iruri…’ and woonhak whined, voice breaking as he sank down next to her, ‘but it is! We’re a team! Why do you always bear the burden alone?!’ iruri could only continue to cry as she mumbled apologies over and over again. This made them all emotional, they all ended up on the floor together hugging it out or wiping each others tears. And after leehan said, ‘please, share your feelings with us, even if its sad’ and even taesan chimed in to say ‘noona, what am i supposed to do if you hide yourself?’
Huhu, well moving on from that sad note.
Lets go a different sad note, her mother.
t/w for loss of a parent and death because of childbirth
Iruri didn’t even discuss it with them for the first month they all met. It wasn’t until zico brought it up in passing, discussing it because a lot of her songs were about her mother.
But they were all very sensitive to the topic whenever its brought up. Like if its brought up during an interview where one of those songs are mentioned and she discusses it, they all gauge her reaction, sometimes to see if she’s comfortable answering and if they need to redirect the question.
This topic is actually really important to them personally and to the staff/koz because they all actually witness alot of it personally. When? During their predebut episode. Where their parents all sent them a video message?
Well, everyone was already crying and emotional, but when it was iruri’s video. It broke the staff, you could literally hear the cameraman sniffling.
It was first her dad, talking to her, and near the end after he joked that ‘like i have told you since you were a baby, whenever you doubt yourself or you’re scared remember, i’m always right behind you okay? But remember iruri what your name means and why your mother named you so, it will come to fruition. Oh and speaking of your mother, i know you’ve seen this video a million times but i thought this would be nice to watch it again’
Which then it played a video, it was a shaky camcorder footage. It was of her mother, in the mirror, showing off her baby bump, rubbing and stroking it gently and the other hand held the camera. She waved to the camera ‘hi iruri~ its your mom. I know we haven’t met but i can’t wait to finally meet you. I hope that one day when you’re older, we can watch this video diary together. I wonder who you will look like, your father or me? Don’t tell your father but, i want you to look like me, but maybe share your fathers personality. Jeongin-oppa(her dad) was cried when we found out i’m carrying a child. Oh and don’t be sad when he scolds you, he means well, eomma just gets sick sometimes but it’s not your fault. I can already tell you’re going to be one energetic baby, you little feet keep me up all night. My little girl, you know I learned you love music? You love when I play music for you right? Did you know the first time i felt you kick was when I asked you if you missed your father? Haha, he cried when I told him that, will you be a crier like your father? Well, you sometimes I act weaker around your dad, just so I don’t have to do anything ahaha. Eomma will work hard for you to grow healthy in my belly my Iruri—don’t tell your dad I already decided on a name. Bye bye my little girl, See you soon, Eomma saranghae.’
And everyone died— well everyone was sobbing. I mean we know that, iruri’s mom doesn’t get to meet her, but for iruri whos seen this video a million times, looks at it fondly and not sadness.
Man, it had everyone broken, the staff were crying, the cameramen, the audio staff, the managers, even the editors were crying.
They all had to take a 5 minute break.
While iruri didn’t even cry, which btw staff did ask her, she said that she’s seen it too many times now and it’s just no longer a sad video to her. It just feels like a conversation with her mother.
The members have expressed many times that, iruri does in fact look identical to her mother but behaves like her father. Like you can see how see was raised.
AND FURTHER, iruri has said, ‘i grew up jealous of people with siblings or big families, and now i have it.’
Jaehyun has said that if iruri wasn’t there, their dorm would be a mess. But no, she’s not the one cleaning up after them, she just reminds them to or has found ways to make chores easier. And thankfully so, their dorm had a dramatic change after she moved in. She finally did a deep clean when she moved in (none of them bothered), she’s also the one that bought appliances that does the cleaning for them. Sungho highly appreciated this.
As much as Iruri is still constantly in the kitchen, the members don’t let her do the dishes. They have a rule, since she cooks for them, they’ll do the dishes, so after every meal iruri gets to go wash up while they clean up. Its a fair trade.
Or once the members said “you know sometimes, I see iruri noona looking at families especially kids with their mother. and her expression, I cant decipher it. but it makes me sad”
The members help iruri with korean, because somethings there are slangs, or memes, or phrases/idioms she just never learnt.
Like sometimes the members/usually riwoo, jaehyun, or woonhak will be making a reference, and she’ll will be hella confused. Another member will notice she didn’t understand, and explain the joke to her. Sometimes she has to see the reference to understand it but ‘as long as they’re having fun’ as she said
But speaking of languages, she is 100% of languages, mainly english. Sometimes even correcting them when they write lyrics (‘lets rizz up all night’ and ‘my shawty’ im looking at you.)
Besides the MV reactions for bnd mvs, they also do them for iruri’s mvs which are just as fun as the bnd ones.
Oh, and they definitely sing replay by shinee to her constantly. Mostly when its a solo scene in a mv, or solo shoot during a group photoshoot, any moment where she’s looking pretty, theres just a bgm that plays ‘noona neomu yeppoo~~ michoo~’
comment or follow for updates on any fic! request anything you want to see!
I was thinking about making a challenge for myself, like stopping posting stuff about my drs (like explaining my drs and aesthetic post) so I stop treating it like it’s fiction (because I know those post aren’t really helping me in my journey) I really need to focus on the fact that all those realities are REAL and that shifting is REAL too and not just fiction and imagination, and I will start posting again about it after I’ll shift to this realities so at least my post would be more interesting and I would be able to share what it really feels to be there. (So now I will probably post more about my journey and progress).
Jourdain has written, composed and produced over 50 songs for HYBE artists, such as BTS 'Dis-ease', LE SSERAFIM'S 'Perfect Night', NEWJEANS 'Hybe Boy', ENHYPEN'S 'Dazed-Drunk', ILLIT'S 'Magnetic, TXT'S 'Deja Vu' and many more songs.
She has choreographed those songs too, along with others.
Around December 2025, she is known to have exactly 89 KOMCA credits from 2019-2025
2025: Debut with CORTIS
On July 14th, 2025, Jourdain was announced as a member of BIGHIT MUSIC'S upcoming group, which was later revealed as CORTIS. The group made their debut on September 8th 2025 with their first EP COLOR OUTSIDE THE LINES.
Jourdain Facts:
Jourdain was born in Nice, France but grew up in Los Angeles, California.
Jourdain has an older brother who was born in 2006.
Jourdain joined BIGHIT Music in 2019.
In 2019, Tomorrow x Together's Soobin overhead an instrumental she had been working on and asked her about it. That instrumental would eventually become '20cm'.
Seonghyeon mentioned that she and Martin are polar opposites from each other and you wouldn't expect them to be as close as they are.
James said Jourdain is very calm and intelligent and he would take her on a remote island as she wouldn't be as loud and stressed as the others.
BTS' RM gave Jourdain the nickname "Baby Prodigy" and in 2023 while producing Magnetic, James changed it to 'Baby Teen Prodigy'
I just shifted this morning 😭 FOR THE FIRST TIME !! I’m so excited that I finally did it but why am I kinda disappointed it was so normal.. I feel like I’m not as happy as I thought I’d be, shifting for the first time. I had all these expectations, yknow? plus rn I’m not doing the best physically bc of how nauseous I feel from traveling irl (like in my CR) to another continent so that might be affecting my mood.
how? 🌸
I finally took a break from trying to shift to my kpop dr so I could organize a new script for it in notion. So I decided I would try to shift to my waiting room for the mean time. I saw @pinkerinos story on how they shifted after I woke up at like 10am in the morning and it motivated me sm I wanted to follow what they did. thank you to them 🙏🙏 I was really tired when I woke up and wanted to go back to sleep but felt musty so I washed up and tidied my room. Until I went back to bed, I said affirmations (some in my head, most out loud). I didn’t use a method but I was saying things like “shifting to my waiting room is “easy-peasy lemon squeeze-y”. yeah it’s kinda cringe 😭 but I was trying to make it catchy so I would remember it.
I didn’t have to do a 500 hour meditation, or even specify if it was an awake or asleep method. Looking back I think I shifted out of pure delusional confidence. I didn’t shift to my waiting room or any dr I had scripted for. I think my intentions got mixed up because I shifted to a reality where I had my kpop dr face/body. But I wasn’t an idol. I lived in a coastal town in sk and spoke and thought in korean when I’m not fluent in this reality. I hadn’t realized I shifted until I was in the elevator of my apartment complex heading downstairs to work (I lived on the second floor but their were shops/plaza on the first floor). When I realized I shifted to some random reality I didn’t care it wasn’t my DR and stayed for the sake of having shifted. My initial reaction was to hit myself to make sure I wasn’t dreaming but in general I felt normal? — is that common for anyone else❔
I think the fact I’m somewhere where it’s summer/the beach affected the place I shifted to.
has this happened to anyone? I shifted back to a dream bc in my OR I was still sleeping. After spending 5-7ish hours in that reality I shifted back willingly bc it was jus a regular life, labor, and I had to deal with annoying ass customers. 😭😭 when I came back I woke up in a dream?? I don’t lucid dream so my memory is distorted from that point on. I woke up irl soon after and started to doubt myself .. was it all a dream?? But there were too many reasons it wasn’t “just a dream”.
reasons why it wasn’t a dream:
I have a dream journal and every dream I’ve had has been sporadic and irregular with time. In the reality I shifted to time was “linear” and I remembered the past, experienced the present, and worried about the future.
When I have a dream I’m never “present”/aware I only remember what I experience after I wake up. But in that reality I felt everything happen in the present like it would in my OR.
Also I had such complex memories/thoughts I couldn’t even think of as a 14yr old in my OR.
srry if this storytime was too long and or boring 😭 I’m not a blogger or someone who posts. I’m more of an observer but I wanted to share my story!
Also tysm to the shiftblr and loa girlies I couldn’t have shifted without them!! 💗💗 they gave me such a different perspective on shifting compared to shifttok.
Hello, this is my first time engaging with something about shifting online and I wanted to share my first ever experience with shifting. Maybe it might help motivate someone. (This is quite a long post but I'll be happy if you read all of it. Also sorry if it's confusing, English isn't my first language.)
The first time I heard about shifting was in 2022. Before my first ever attempt I've only ever entertained the idea that shifting is real and maybe only daydreamed about places and different people I could be in another life.
My first ever serious attempt at shifting was the most successful and maybe that was because I didn't over complicate it and hadn't heard all of the misinfo there was spread on the internet. I just trusted myself.
Now, I already had an idea that I wanted to shift to a kpop dr but I didn't set the intention to shift there or even made any kind of script. I was just curious and wanted to try. I think my subconcious knew where I wanted to go. I put on one of those the void method guided meditation youtube videos and it didn't help me get into the void state but it did help me relax alot. So I turned it off and just meditated and felt really relaxed. I could still feel my body so I wasn't in the void. I had my eyes closed the entire time.
It was around 10 minutes of this when I started seeing something. My vision was all black and then what I was seeing started slowly fading in. I was in one of the JYP practice rooms. The one where the wall is light blue and it has these wooden lines on the wall. When I've seen this room on videos online it didn't have a table there but there was a table on the side of the room and 3 or 4 chairs around the table.(it's been a while so I can't remember every detail.) I was sitting on a chair and across the table was Yeji and Ryujin. This lasted for a few minutes. Then I opened my eyes and everything was gone. It's like I was almost there and could have been if I had been more patient.
Now some people might think it was a dream but I know it wasn't because I didn't see it with my mind. I literally saw it. Like it was there. When I see dreams, it always looks like there is some kind of haze over the dream and the image isn't clear. But this was super clear. Also I always see it from a 3rd person point of view and this time I was looking from my own eyes. I was aware the entire time that this wasn't a dream.
Since then alot has happened in my life and I've been stressed so I haven't really properly tried again. But when people say you don't need symptoms or anything to shift that is true. That doesn't mean you won't have any but I really didn't feel anything besides me being relaxed. I was just open to it.
Maybe what you can take from this, is to not overthink it and to trust yourself. You aren't shifting to be another person. That person is you and always has been. Just try to connect. And also, have patience. Learning how to be patient has been one of the main things about my shifting journey so far.
If you've made it this far, feel free to share your thoughts and opinions. Also I'd like to hear from your shifting experiences as well.
