#kuinan

[downdelions]

me and the bad bitch i pulled by being silly

[imjust-a-funnysimp]

Saw this around and it felt right to make it about them

[rhysfiona]

💞💓💖💗

[imjust-a-funnysimp]

And it'll just take time...

The four times An wanted to kiss Kuina, and the one time she did.

Rizuna An x Hikari Kuina

This is not the best but it's honest work alright? English is not my first language so if there are any mistakes, my apologies.

Happy pride to my favorite lesbians 🩷🧡🤍

1. The one at the wrong time;

Rizuna An was a stable woman. She led her life based on reason and logic, and it kept her safe, especially in a place like the borderlands, or even The Beach as a matter of fact.

So, it shook her to her core the first time she noticed her heartbeat rising when Kuina talked to her. It made her feel physically sick when she complimented her lipstick shade, and she stumbled on her words before being able to spit out a rushed thank you and walk away. She started to question her sanity daily ever since meeting that doe-eyed woman.

It was so… out of character for her, so incredibly unsettling to feel that way in a place like this, and still, she couldn’t help it. Every time she saw Kuina, her stomach would flip, she recalled every conversation they ever had, every like or dislike that she could catch on to, all the times she made her laugh, and all the times she laughed at someone else and An thought she could throw up by hearing that sweet sound being directed to anyone other than her.

But it never felt as strong as right now, standing outside of the hotel, watching it being swallowed by flames. One of Kuina’s arms still wrapped tightly around her waist while the other stroked her hand gently.

She didn’t know if it was the intensity of emotions felt during the witch hunt, the relief that washed over her when she saw the woman alive and well after leaving her to hold back that bald freak, the feeling of her hands so gently steadying her, or the reflection of the flames on her beautiful brown eyes. But An wanted to kiss her.

The absurd idea ringing over and over again in her mind, right then and there, An wanted to wrap her arms around Kuina and kiss her, feeling her sweet lips against hers until the whole world disappeared and they were the only ones left behind until the fire on the beach died down and the only warm left was the soft one of their gentle embrace.

It was an urge so intense that it took her breath away, leaving her watching Kuina’s face with undivided attention, her lips parting slightly as she tried to relearn how to breathe.

“Are you okay?”

Kuina’s voice was so soft and she watched An with such concern that she forced herself out of that drowsy state.

“Yes.” An let out shaky, trying to find her words back. “Just… Thank you.”

And she could’ve sworn that Kuina’s smile made her heart double in size, feeling caged in her chest.

2. The one at the wrong place;

Joining the queen of clubs seemed reasonable enough, after finding no answers outside An realized the best chance of getting them would be by clearing the face games. That, and the fact that her visa was coming dangerously close to expiring had led her to the old factory.

It had been a few days since their group had been divided, and she tried her best every day not to think about what could have happened to them. She knew they were capable and would look out for each other, but the uncertainty made her entire body tense, especially if she thought about her.

Kuina.

She took up most of her thoughts, how she briefly had her back only to be ripped apart again a few minutes later, how right, now she was out there and there was nothing An could do to help her, dammit, she couldn’t even know if she needed help… she couldn’t even know if she was alive.

This last one terrified her, the possibility of Kuina being no longer around making her chest sink with a heaviness that she never considered possible to feel.

Her wandering mind was abruptly brought back when she felt a pair of eyes on her. Normally, she would be the one watching everyone surrounding her, but these past days had come at a heavy cost, and it showed in moments like this. An quietly looks around, already tensing up, but that’s when she sees her.

The wide brown eyes she had grown so familiar with, the angelic face that belonged in a painting, and never in a hell like this, the soft lips she dreamed of so many times. Kuina. She was the one staring, and already making her way towards the short-haired woman. Somehow they found their way back to each other.

An rapidly pushes away from the rail she’s resting against, unfolding her arms and hurriedly walking to meet her halfway.

It takes every fiber of her being to stop herself from grabbing her when they stop face to face, to wrap her arms around her waist and pull Kuina close enough so their lips could finally meet. An nearly gives in to her wish, the look in Kuina’s eyes melting her brain into a puddle of useless mass.

“Did you think I was dead?” The question blurts out of her mouth before she can even consider it, not even understanding where this is coming from.

“No. I knew I would see you again.” Kuina says with a small smile that makes An’s heart skip a beat. “You’re too strong to die.”

The honesty in her tone makes An chuckle, the idea that maybe she had thought about her just as much as making her heart race, and forcing her to cross her arms so she doesn’t do anything stupid, like reaching out and pulling her closer.

“Strong, huh? You know Kuina, I started wondering if waiting for death might be easier.”

The confession is rushed, something she would never say to anyone else, but there’s always this need to fill the silence when she’s talking to her, to keep the conversation going just for a bit longer, to have her attention just for a few more seconds.

“Yeah. I had similar thoughts.” Kuina says quietly, her eyes locking into An’s like she could see right through her. “But at least we’re both here now.”

The idea of Kuina having those thoughts didn’t sit right with her, she was too bright for darkness like that, but the fact that they hadn’t given up and actually found each other had to mean something. With a small smile and a nod An agrees, quickly looking down at the weird arena below, she can’t let Kuina see how much it means that she’s here, afraid that it might push her away.

“Clubs are team games.”

“It should be much easier with two of us playing.”

“Just a few more games. We’ll make it to the end.”

An says turning back to the woman, that gives her a reassuring smile.

“I’m sure we will.” She says pulling out her hand.

An doesn’t hesitate to grab it, the feeling of her calloused palm on hers making a warm spread through her body, a new will for making out of it surging in her insides. They would make it to the end of this games, and when they did, she would finally have the guts to kiss her.

3. The one that came too late;

The king of spades was dead. And so was Akane. And Aguni. And An was sure she was next.

She hung on quite well for someone who was shot in the chest, twice. Working with this every day, she knew her odds. She wouldn’t make it out. By the swollenness, her stomach was probably filled up with blood already, and considering how hard it was getting to breathe, her lungs were suffering the same fate. Her head was spinning with effort to keep a consciousness that slipped more and more through her fingers, like soft sand.

She could feel Kuina’s body next to her, their blood mixing and pooling underneath them, her situation wasn’t good either, but at least she seemed to have a little more time. At that moment An decided that if she could, she would die in her place, she would do anything to make sure that woman got more time and was able to get out of that place. Because at the end of the day, she loved Hikari Kuina, more than life itself. And it was surprising and quite sad that it took her that long to come to terms with it.

She knew her time was up, but she had to see her one more time, she had to let her know how much she meant to her.

“Promise…”

Just saying that one word was hard, like running a marathon up a hill, but she got to see those sparkling eyes again, so it was worth it.

“… if we meet again…”

They wouldn’t, and that though made her realize how much she wanted to have kissed her before, or maybe now, if she could gather all her strength, kissing Kuina would be the last thing she did, and it would be the best way to go. But she was so tired, her eyes were so heavy, there was no time left for romantic hallucinations.

“… we’ll be friends.”

It hurts to speak, but then the woman smiles at her, a bright one like only she can. And An feels like the pain loses space in her mind, allowing a relieved laugh to slip past her lips. Kuina’s smile speaks more this time though, is not a yes, is more mischievous than that. A smile that tells her that no, they could never be friends.

They would always be something more.

An feels the last grains of her consciousness slipping away, but is okay, she got to see Kuina’s smile one last time. And as the cold feeling of darkness clouds her mind, she dreams of her lips a final time.

4. The one that came too soon;

A meteor. A minute. That was all it was.

When they told this to An she wanted to scream. She wanted to rip the medical equipment off of her, destroy the room she was in, and run away until her body collapsed and her mind forgot about everything. All those deaths, all that pain, all of that… was nothing. Just a way of her brain coping with the experience, the doctors had said, nothing more.

She couldn’t accept that. She had made friends there, she had fallen in love there, her entire perspective of life had been changed there, it couldn’t be something her mind made up. Kuina couldn’t be something her mind had made up.

She bitterly wandered through white hallways at least twice a day, the doctors thought it was important for her to move and try to get back her ‘sense of reality’. She hated the walks, and she hated the way people were treating her like a lunatic.

Turning around another corner she needs to hold on to the wall to steady herself. Because there, in front of a vending machine, is Kuina.

She has bandages and bruises scattered everywhere that aren’t covered by the pink gown. But it was her. Her beautiful dreadlocks, her sweet eyes and soft face, she’s real, and she’s perfect, and she’s right there.

The urge to kiss her was so intense that An caught herself already stepping forward, her hands tingling in need of touching the other woman, of reaching out and finally feeling like she was alive.

“Kuina…”

The name leaves her lips like a prayer, like she’s a desperate woman seeing a spark of hope in a sea of darkness for the first time. And she is. Because she is not crazy, she did not hallucinate everything, and now she’ll finally have a chance to fix the one thing she regretted the most before dying.

Kuina’s eyes lift, meeting hers and knocking the air right out of her lungs, god she’s beautiful, and An loves her, she’s never been more certain of it than she is at this moment. But as kind and as sweet as her gaze is, there is still something else there. Confusion.

“Hi…”

Time seems to slow down at the uneasy tone of her voice. No. Please don’t do this to me.

“I’m sorry, do I know you?”

An can feel her heart shattering, she truly believes she’s dying again, because how could she keep living after this? How could she exist in a world where Hikari Kuina doesn’t know who she is and isn’t part of her life?

“You don’t remember…”

Her voice is shaky, the words feeling like sharp blades cutting her throat as they make their way out.

“I’m sorry.”

The saddest part is that she really looks like it, her eyes shadowed with confusion and regret. An can almost see the way she’s running through her memories trying to find her face in there, but with no success.

And that’s how An knows that her heart is completely and utterly broken.

5. The perfect one.

It takes time, patience, and a lot of therapy, to get back into life.

After two months An made a full recovery, but the doctors were still worried about her mind, she and Aguni were the only two survivors who seemed to be haunted by a place called borderlands. It was good to know she wasn’t alone. She wouldn’t have called him a friend in there, but he definitely was one in here. They helped each other get through the trauma from that place and deal with the fact that they were the only ones plagued with those memories.

In three months she was able to get back to work, but this time having a healthier relationship with it. Sure, she couldn’t cry at every murder that happened in Tokyo, otherwise she would never stop, but she learned to give space to her emotions as well, not to just suppress them and move forward, but to hear and embrace them. And it made her a better person overall.

It was at a doctor’s appointment four months after the accident that she got to meet Kuina for the first time again. It was a rainy day and she had no umbrella, waiting impatiently underneath a marquee for the rain to cease and allow her a breach to cross the street into the hospital.

“Need a ride?”

The sweet voice broke her thoughts making her head snap in its direction. Not that she needed to check to know who was talking, that sound would forever be etched in her mind.

Kuina was as beautiful as ever, completely healed and looking finally at peace. Her blue shirt matched the big umbrella she was holding, covering her as she stood under the rain a few feet away from where An was.

“I’m Kuina.” She says stretching out a hand. “I don’t think we had a chance to properly meet yet.”

An doesn’t hesitate before grabbing the hand being offered, she never does.

“An.”

Kuina’s hand is firm against her, and the smile she offers is so genuine and delightful that An’s heart almost gives out.

“An… That’s a pretty name.”

And just like that, a spark of hope ignites in her chest again.

It’s been a year now. Kuina insisted that they went out to celebrate their ‘near death anniversary’. She didn’t remember the borderlands or everything they went through together, but she remembered every moment they’d spent together since that rainy day. An made sure of that.

Ever since that day, they became inseparable, after their appointments An offered to buy her coffee, and she accepted, which almost gave the short-haired woman a panic attack that she gladly welcomed. After that, the friendship came easily.

An never stopped loving her, not even for a second, but she realized that she would rather have Kuina as a friend for the rest of her life than actually risk a move and lose her forever.

That was until this night.

Kuina was lying by her side looking up at the stars. They had a picnic dinner because according to her, it was better than a restaurant. Their position reminded An so much of the one they were last year that she almost couldn’t breathe.

She was certain Kuina saved her life that night, she was dead, there was no questioning of it, the doctors told her. But somehow she came back, and the only person that could’ve helped with that was the woman lying next to her.

Now, watching her with a clear mind and without the imminence of death looming over them, An can’t stop thinking about those final moments, about how her biggest regret was not kissing that woman. She had a second chance, was she really willing to give it away? Wasn’t she supposed to want to risk it all, make great gestures, and live life to its fullest?

Rizuna An was a steady woman, she led her life based on reason and logic, but where had that led her? To a life of pushing emotions and people aside for fear of the imminent destiny, they were all so certain to head to.

She had died once, filled with regrets, she had lost the woman she loved not once, but twice, and still they always seemed to find their way back to each other, it had to mean something. She would not waste this chance anymore.

An quietly lifts herself on her elbow, turning towards the woman that looks at her with a curious face. She brings her free hand up, slowly reaching out, cupping Kuina’s face, her thumb stroking her cheek lightly, feeling a skin so soft that it almost doesn’t feel real. Her eyes meet up with An’s for a brief second, a mischievous gleam washing over them as her hand covers the one on her cheek.

“Finally.”

And that small whisper is all the confirmation An needs, leaning down and firmly pressing her lips against the soft ones she dreamed about so many times before. It is patient, and it is gentle, every caress of their lips feels like an oath, a prophecy that’s finally being fulfilled, and every gentle stroke of their fingers is like an apology for the time they’ve spent apart.

When their lips finally parted both women were breathless, An’s forehead resting against Kuina’s while she tucks a strand of the short hair behind her ear. A glorious smile spreading on her face.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore.”

Her small joke makes An’s heart swell, blood rushing to her face and a soft laugh bubbling out of her lips as she kisses her again.

No, they could never be just friends, they were always destined to be something more.

[imjust-a-funnysimp]

Hunter X Vampire Kuinan. That's it. That's all I have to say.

[imjust-a-funnysimp]

Found a kuinann fic with a chappell roan song for the title!!!!!!