{ strap in guys, this one’s a little bit of a doozy } { also thanks @/nyavericked on twitter for the comm }
[scene: courtyard]
// The time is early evening, the place is Shinonome Academy. As both to present the completed Kiichi statue and to welcome the season of spring, a magnificent party is being held. //
Rintarou: Happy New Yearz! Here’s to a happy, smiling year ☆ Cheers ♪
// Along with the cries of “cheers”, the tinkling of glasses could be heard. Seeing one another again after a long break, tales of each other’s activities spring fourth naturally, lifting the mood.
Mamoru: Hi everyone, happy new year! It is I, Hodo Mamoru, the one who intends to pursue the truth this year as well. The Press Club and I are in your care!
Rintarou: Oh! Mamo-chan! Oh, I know, why don’t I accompany you for the first part of your ‘view ☆
// I grab onto Mamo-chan’s shoulders as he was in the midst of filming and wave my hands at the camera. //
Mamoru: Why, Kuma-kun! We would very much be honoured to have you participate in our Spring ☆ Special Interview!
Rintarou: Okie dokie! Then let’s start with Mr. Swirling Grape Juice In His Wine Glass over there, Jiiiiiin! !
Jin: Oh, it’s Rintarou-san.
Mamoru: We’ve got an amazing catch! Jin-sama, Head of the Black Dorm, Ryugasaki-kun! ! ! Can I get your aspirations for this year?
Jin: I will devote myself to the leadership and development of the Black Dorm, that is all.
Chizuru: As expected of Jin-san! This plebeian has just received the blessing of Jin-san’s highly revered answers so early into the year, feel free to grovel and shed tears of gratitude.
Rintarou: Hyuu~ ♪ Chizu-chan’s diss ability grows every year! Even though he was so mumbly when we first met ☆
Chizuru: Excuse me?!
Mikage: Exposed on live TV~
Senri: Oh! It’s the Press Club Guy! This year, I will continue to go all out with my acting career, so I’ll be counting on you for publicity again ♪
Takaomi: ...Annoying.
Rintarou: Huh? Is Touji in the middle of a speech?
Touji: Happy New Year, everybody, it is I, Harimiya Touji, Harimiya Touji! So as to become a trustworthy person, with intentions as clear as the New Year sky, this year as well, I pledge to be diligent in my studies! In regards to last year, other than the matter of trouble in the entertainment industry, there was also a lack of transparency in the financial sector. With each passing year, a gloomy shadow seems to fall ever darker upon us, but fret not!
Touji: For as long as I, Harimiya Touji, am around, this year for sure, I shall deliver a year of stability for all Japanese people and even to the global-
Yuni: Tadah! I’ll stick the Bianchi Family specially made secret weapon No.#20 “Anti-Blabber Sticker” onto Harimi ♪
Touji: U-uwah, what are you doing Bianchi-kun?! Mogamogamogagagaga! !
Shion: An idiot?
Mamoru: What about Mikekado-kun, any aspirations for this year?
Shion: Not really… If I had to name something, I would like to raise a cat.
Touji: Mogugugugu~ ~
Takaomi: You can’t keep pets in the dorms, he says.
Shion: What a boring man. shion leaves
Touji: ! ! ! ! ! touji collapses
Mamoru: Oh, he left.
Rintarou: A true Cool Beauty ☆
Issei: Hey! Rintarou-san and Hodo. Are you guys conducting an interview together?
Mamoru: Hello, Torasawa-kun. May we ask your aspirations for the new year?
Issei: Why, of course. As for me-
Mikage: “I wo~n’t lose to Jin.”
Issei: Asagiri?
Mikage: Since the other party announced the “development of Black Dorm”, then we have to respond in kind, no?
Issei: Hah! You’re absolutely right!
Mikage: Yeah, yeah.
???: … Help~
Rintarou: ? I hear a voice…
Mamoru: Th-that’s? ! ? !
Shinya: hey guys, happy new year…
Shigure: Shinya?! Why are you hanging from a tree?!
Shinya: Ahaha, when I popped open a bottle of Chamorii (1), the force sent me flying all the way here.
Shigure: Even after I said I would do that…
Mamoru: Pardon me for asking while you’re in such a state but does Shibasaki-kun have any aspirations for the year that you’d like to share?
Rintarou: The reporter spirit burns ☆
Shinya: Hmmm… I guess for me it’s to stay in Shigure’s good graces…
Shigure: Let’s see… For one, I’d be happy if you could reduce your number of injuries. Here, give me your hand.
Shinya: Thank you, Shigure.
Rintarou: Shin-chan’s safety first~
Mamoru: Well then, let’s move on. Ah, that figure hiding in the shadows over there…
--
(1) from what i could tell, this is a play on chamoris, which is producer of japanese wine
{ this was a commission but in any case, i got emotional }
[park]
// The scenery before me expands and tilts. //
// As my equilibrium warps, my eyes instinctively track my opponent. I review my position. My reflexive counter attack meets empty air, and then-- //
// A textbook perfect uppercut connects with my exposed jaw. //
// A slightly blurry sky comes to view, the sun’s light looks just like the lights on “that day.” My wavering mind cuts off from my body, as if it belonged to a different person, and it seemed to take ages before I hit the ground. //
// I’m sure you’re wondering why the Super Hero was caught by him with an uppercut. //
Rintarou: ( Why did I, the Super Hero, get caught by Mikepon’s counter uppercut, you ask? )
// It happened a couple of days ago… //
Rintarou: ( It happened a couple of days ago… )
[kumayuni room]
Rintarou: Yuniyuni, I’m back~! The Rocket Launching Festival in Thailand was super stimulating ☆ I got some souvenirs at the Return party so let’s- oh
Yuni: President-san, welcome back!
Rintarou: Oyoyo? It’s super rare to encounter Mikepon in my room! What’s the tea? Is it a secret from mua?
Shion: He’s noisy as usual…
Yuni: One of Shions’ amichi got their purse snatched, it seems.
Rintarou: Say what?! As a hero, I can’t let that slide. MKK ☆ Won’t you/ tell me/ more about the incident?!
Shion: I won’t forgive someone who targets the elderly.
Yuni: He’s an unfair person. Resorting to theft instead of accumulating his own lottery tickets!
Rintarou: Yup, yup, that is certainly underhanded… huh? Lottery ticket?
Shion: The shopping district is having a campaign. If you collect 10 tickets, you can pull the lottery once.
Yuni: Shion’s amichi was just 1 ticket away from 10 and yet, the 9 pieces she worked hard to collect were stolen… That’s just too sad!
Yuni: That’s why we’re currently having a strategy meeting on how to catch the culprit, what to do with him, and which ocean he should be sunk into to become food for the fishes.
Rintarou: Ohhhhhhh.
Rintarou: ( Usually here’s where I sweep in and coolly offer my help but perhaps this time I won’t. They look like they’re really pouring their souls into it but more importantly… )
// I won’t be around anymore once I graduate. //
Shion: The culprit is dangerous. He attacked my friend right when she took out her wallet to put her tickets away. Because of that, she even sustained a cut to the finger 2-3 millimetres in length.
Rintarou: ( Only the tickets and not the wallet…? )
Yuni: He’s too fixated on lottery tickets.
Yuni: But on the other hand, that makes it easy to lure him out. Someone just has to stand around with lottery tickets in hand.
Rintarou: ( Eh?! Isn’t it kinda unwise to engage a dangerous criminal like that? Well, if it were someone confident in their grip strength like me then maybe but… )
Shion: Then what about Touji?
Rintarou: ( Hmmm~ ~ ~ Kinda a diss on Touji but I’m ☆ Worried )
Yuni: Good idea! Harimi is noisy even when he doesn’t speak so I’m sure he’ll attract the culprit’s attention quickly!
Shion: …On further thought, he might actually be too conspicuous. There should be a more suitable person. Someone better at acting natural…
Rintarou: ( Wait, wait, wait, wait, I have so many comments about this. )
Rintarou: ( I want to advise them on a better method but then it’ll turn into me solving the problem again… Mmmm, but still! ! )
Yuni: But I think that alone is still too dangerous. We might need to enlist the help of someone strong.
Rintarou: ( Ho. )
Shion: Do you have anyone in mind?
Rintarou: ( Aww Mikepon, what a feint~ Isn’t the strongest helper right before your eyes--- )
Yuni: Actually, Father is currently having the Bianchi Family Engineers prepare a special Secret Weapon for some big project in the works. And it just so happens that they’re looking to test the weapon on an opponent so… I think it fits our situation perfectly.
Shion: Hmm… I guess anything’s fine as long as it’s strong.
Yuni: Kufufu, not just strong. That weapon is our finest masterpiece, the “strongest”.
Rintarou: !
Yuni: It’s the strongest Secret Weapon in the world ♪
Rintarou: ( …Interesting. The “strongest in the world”, huh~ )
[student council room]
// A few days later. //
Rintarou: Mu… Mumu?
// My nap on top of a line of chairs was disturbed by the faint sounds of excited cheering from somewhere far away. //
Rintarou: Huh? No one’s here. Am I hearing things?
Rintarou: Wait, it’s well into lunch break right now! I was supposed to do hand over with Usshi but he didn’t show up so I somehow spent the night here!
// I return the chairs that I used as a bed to their original positions and stretch out my body which had gone stiff. //
Rintarou: Well, nothing to be done that he didn’t show. Guess, I’ll grab something to eat first.
[cafeteria]
// While patting my growling stomach, I head towards the cafeteria where there was a surprising amount of people. //
Male Student: Go! !
Female Student: That’s it! !
Rintarou: ( Oyo? Maybe this was what I heard earlier… )
// Taking a peek into the middle of the crowd, there was an unexpected person, in an unexpected appearance, doing an unexpected thing. //
Mamoru: Round 2 is about to start! ! Bianchi-kun got knocked down once in the first round but I wonder what will happen this time?!
Champ: You good? I’ll make sure to K.O you this time.
Yuni: If you can… Then go ahead and try!
Champ: !
[flashback:
Yuni: Let’s make a deal.
Champ: A deal?
Yuni: Go all out against me in our match.
Champ: …..
Champ: Hey now, I’m a pro ya know?
Yuni: And I’m a proud Sicilian. Holding back will conversely hurt me even more.
Champ: …..
Yuni: Just like the athletes in this match, I want you to come at me with everything you’ve got. Otherwise the match would be pointless.
Champ: What’s this DVD?
/end flashback]
Champ: You’re still going?
Yuni: pant, pant
Champ: It’s about time to end this farce.
Shion: !
Rintarou: ( No, his step is too shallow, that must be-- )
Yuni: ( A fake! Now’s my chance! ! ! ! )
Shigure: ?!
// Knocking he wouldn’t connect, Yuniyuni takes a big step forward, full of courage, and takes the punch face first on his own accord. //
Champ: ?!
// Slipping into his enemy’s space, a full body counter. Yuniyuni’s right hand breaks through, aiming for the Champ’s cheek-- //
Shion: !
// Climbing over the ropes, the Ringside Doctor catches the tiny warrior. //
Shinya: Call it off! This match is over!
Yuni: Shibasaki… Don’t do… useless… things…
Shigure: Someone get a stretcher!
// The venue was in uproar. With Shin-chan as the leader, the first aid unit start treating Yuniyuni. //
// Amidst the chaos, completely ignoring the mood, one man takes up the mic and begins to speak. //
Champ: Mic test.
Champ: Hey, you’re here right?
// His strange question was met with an awkward silence. //
Champ: Then come.
// Of course I know who those words were directed at. Besides… That was my feeling too. //
Mamoru: Wh-what is going on here?!
Mamoru: Bianchi-kun’s secret weapon who was the star of the previous arm wrestling tournament has stepped into the ring! ! !
Shion: No way… Is that you?
// To answer his question, I perform a Spinosaurus Fist with SHION’s body. (That was the pose I used to make when giving advanced warning that I was aiming for a K.O. ) //
// The reason I was so late to Yuniyuni’s match was because I had been training to fight by possessing SHION. //
Champ: Wow, you can do that?!
Champ: Well, at least this way, we’re able to face off properly.
Rintarou: Hah, I sure kept you waiting, huh, “myself”?
// After making sure Yuniyuni was safely escorted off the venue, I take the mallet and ring the gong myself. And my opponent is “the part of me that didn’t progress”. //
Champ: Round 1, Start ♪
Rintarou: Alright!
// Jab, One-two, and then a Middle Kick. I dodge the attacks directed at me, and go for a Front Kick, which was evaded with a Sidestep. It’ll be over in an instant if I’m caught. No, I will catch him first! //
[flashback:
Shion: Take revenge.
Yuni: As long as you continue to breathe, your melody will never end. Wounds are the cornerstone of change. You can’t play the same melody forever, can you? The 10 Count is already over!
Champ: I think I’m more suited to being “me”. And you’re more suited to wandering for eternity, don’t you think.
// sigh I’m tired. Tired of struggling. //
/end flashback]
// Inviting a counter, I intentionally approach with lowered defence. //
// And then he, who hates taking a Backstep, comes forward like a mirror reflection. //
Rintarou: ( Now, now is the time! )
// For the longest time, I had been imprisoned by that ring, together with that neverending 10 Count. Staring up at the sky disgracefully, always being washed over by the bright stadium lights. //
// I put more strength into my legs, pushing myself off the floor no matter how unsightly I may seem. //
Rintarou: ( If I don’t force this one step, I will, never, defeat myself! ! ! )
// With the Brave Heart that I have regained. Towards the world beyond that 10 Count, I can proudly say… //
Rintarou: That the me as I am now is the most like me! ! !
// I take a huge step forward, much bigger than the one I took before. While experiencing sensation in my legs for the first time in a long while, I put all my power into a punch, landing straight on my past self’s cheek. //
Shion: Cross Counter…
Mamoru: He did it… As expected of Bianchi-kun’s strongest weapon! ! ! He’s splendidly defeated Kuma-kun~ ~ ! !
// The explosive cheers of the crowd sound so far away. //
Rintarou: ( Yeah… I’m the strongest. Because I’m a God after all. )
// The view before me is the same as it was then, however the brightness of the lights was different. I raise a fist towards that light. //
Rintarou: That was a good punch, self.
// My raised arm was lit by the lights above. //
[courtyard]
// A few days later. //
Shion: Does that mean we have to part?
Yuni: Yes. We finished testing his capabilities so it’s time to send him back to Father for mass production.
Touji: Please ensure that all the future models have a different design! If so many Mikekado-senpais were to appear… When two already stirred up my heart so… Oooh, a crowd of Mikekado-swenpwai…
Yuni: He’s in his own world again…
Shion: Leave him be.
Yuni: President-san, don’t you want to say goodbye to SHION?
// Yuniyuni turned back to call out to me but his interest was shifted to something else. //
Yuni: Are those the gloves you lent me the other day?
Rintarou: Yup. You’ve got to take them out to air sometimes.
Yuni: Everyone says your match at the end was amazing. How regrettable! I wish I could have seen it too!
Rintarou: Nyahaha! Well but considering the state you were in then.
Rintarou: But I’m really thankful to Yuniyuni and Mikepon.
Rintarou: Thank you.
Shion: I didn’t really do anything.
Yuni: You’re very welcome ♪
// Yuniyuni smiles as bright as the sun and I return a smile of my own. Then I casually look up at the sky. //
Rintarou: ( Perhaps that guy was also trying to help me move forward. Though there’s no way of knowing now. )
// And though it was supposed to be the same sky as always, for some reason… //
Rintarou: ( The sky today is the most beautiful I’ve ever seen. )
// As Senri and Yuma stuff the 6 packets of chips in a shopping bag, they keep stealing glances at the Shop Staff: Ryugasaki Den. //
Jin: ( Needless to say, I am Ryugasaki Jin.)
// 2 weeks before the incident. //
[scene: jinchizu room]
Rintarou: Jin, let’s part time together ♪
Jin: Part time?
// That day, Rintarou-san who had been in the midst of recounting his experience of wandering India, suddenly said such an odd thing to me. //
Rintarou: See, it’s gonna be summer vacay soon, right? I wanna get a driving licence. Gonna lickety-split at a driving camp ♪ So I need to earn some cash, I’m thinking like 250k ☆
Jin: Ho. And you intend to involve me in your eccentricity? Don’t you have that kind of amount at your disposal?
Rintarou: I don’t save money, ya know.
Jin: A shallow lie, did you think you could fool me? Based on my understanding, just by winning fights, you should have much more than you could know what to do with.
Rintarou: ZLS ☆ ( I donated / everything / it felt great )
Jin: Huh?
Rintarou: Having money on hand is a thing of the past ♪ Having a set goal to work towards is what makes money worth working for. Besides, the experience of toiling away is valuable. Oh damn, I'm seriously a genius, my future is just too bright.
Jin: … I see. That way of thinking is certainly very like you, however it doesn’t seem terribly efficient.
Chizuru: Pardon my intrusion.
Rintarou: Oh, Chizu-chan, otsu.
Chizuru: …..
Chizuru: Thank you for your hard work, President. Jin-san, I am sorry for interrupting your conversation.
Jin: Is it already time?
Chizuru: Yes. I have already made proper preparations for the meeting.
Rintarou: Meeting? You have to work even though it’s a day off?
Jin: It is an important meeting. Please tell me more about India at the next opportunity.
Jin: Oh and I have to decline the thing about the part time job, I prefer to witness your whims instead.
Rintarou: Nyahaha. Jin is always busy like a bee, huh? Hey, before I go can I just ask you one thing?
Takaomi: Right?! Especially the part when he sticks his arm through the tokkoufuku* sleeve. It really gets ya!
Judah: What’s written there?
Minato: Ma… ikari…** ?
Takaomi: It’s written with the characters 魔怒狼 (ma ikari ookami) (evil, anger, wolf) but it’s read “Mad Wolf”.
Touji: Kanji characters have their respective meanings and connotations. So when matching kanji to the sound of English words, in a sense it’s like a rhyming game.
Judah: Does that mean my name also has a kanji equivalent?
Takaomi & Touji: Eh.
Minato: That’s it! Let’s all pick out kanji names for Judah.
Rintarou: Nice idea! Shishimaru, pen and papers please!
Takaomi: Geez, guess I have no choice…
.-.
// After handing out pens and papers to everyone, we spent about 10 minutes thinking-- //
Minato: I’m done~ Tadah! 自由だ (jiyuu da) (freedom)
Takaomi: There’s hiragana*** in there…
Rintarou: But freedom is a good thing ☆ Usshi, 100 points!
Minato: Yay~
Touji: As for myself, I find Aversa-kun’s open mind to be calm and gentle, which heals the people around him and so… here!
// The name Touji wrote so grandly as if it were the first calligraphy of the New Year****, was 慈癒太 (jiyuta) (mercy, healing, common name suffix for males) //
Rintarou: Affixing ta makes it feel like a real name, To-ji ,100 points!
Rintarou: And as for myself~ …
Rintarou: Tadah! !
Takaomi: Atsu… da**?
Rintarou: tsk tsk tsk
Rintarou: It’s written “atsu” but read as “jyu!” ! ! Embedded with the feeling of striking with passion, 熱打 (jyu!da) (passion, strike)!
Minato: Kumarin President~ 100 points~
Rintarou: Woohoo ☆ Then, last is Shishimaru!
// I wrote the kanji for 寿陀 (jyuda) (longevity, steep). It was just kanji that I recalled in the spur of the moment.
But Judah suddenly lets out a sniffing sound-- //
Judah: … That’s not bad.
Touji: Looks like he’s taken to Shishimaru-kun’s idea!
Rintarou: SIO (Shishimaru / congrats on / first prize ) ☆
--
* 特攻服 (tokkoufuku) is the really long jackets you see biker gang characters wear often, they usually have some kanji on the back too
** so there is a looot of kanji in this here story and in these two cases, the characters are just sounding out the phrases that they don’t know the proper readings too
*** simply speaking, there are 3 systems of alphabet in japanese. kanji (characters), hiragana, and katakana (usually for loan words). だ is hiragana
**** 書き初め (kakizome) (first writing) is in modern times, writing auspicious words in calligraphy to reign in the new year but here’s a better explanation
i actually finished this yesterday but the tl notes were like... daunting
Geh, you’re right. Geez when did that guy disappear… Well anyway, we can just contact his phone and…
Wait. Rintarou-san confiscated his phone because he was working too much!
Rintarou:
Now that it’s come to this, we just have to find him ourselves!
Issei:
sigh I guess we have no choice…
// Like that, the two of us scour the spacious park grounds from east to west, north to south, we searched all around the park. //
--
Rintarou:
Not being able to find him after this much searching, he sure has some talent for being a lost child, wouldn’t you say? If there were a Lost Child Olympics, he would definitely win!
Issei:
Erm, now’s not the time to--
*ding, dong, deng, dong*
// Went the chime for park-wide announcements. //
Announcer:
We apologise for calling upon you in this manner.
Kuma Rintarou-sama, Torasawa Issei-sama, your guardian is waiting for you. Please make your way to the lost child centre.
Rintarou & Issei:
Huh?
--
Jin:
You’ve finally arrived.
Issei:
Don’t “you’ve finally arrived” me! What was with that call, you were the one that got lost right?!
Jin:
Wrong.
You two got lost so I simply called for you.
Issei:
This guy!
// Issei and Jin start their friendly dispute. I have seen this scenery so many times since way back. //
Rintarou:
( They really never change~
Hm? That thing over there… Oh no, A Godly Idea has struck! )
// I buy 3 of “that”, attaching one to my waist. Then I tackle the other two from the back… //
Rintarou:
Issei, Jin! This is a present from moi! Accept it~ ~ ~ ! ☆
Issei:
This is…
Jin:
A balloon?
Rintarou:
If you attach this to your waist, you MSN ☆ (don’t have/ to worry/ about being lost)
(maigo no/ shinpai/ nothing)
// Faster than the other two can reply, I attach the balloons to their waists. //
Rintarou:
Alrighty!
// Before me, I see 3 balloons. The differently coloured balloons sway gently in the wind. //
Rintarou:
( The past was also really fun but… )
// Whether it’s 3 grown men walking around Melshi World. Whether it’s getting summoned by the announcer as a lost child. Or even putting on matching balloons. //
Rintarou:
And that’s a wrap to the fight! We still have more to ride~! Where should we go next~?
( Someday, when the events of today become a fond memory, it’ll be nice if the 3 of us can laugh like this again. )
Touji: Experiencing Japanese culture, huh? I see. Then let’s start by explaining the state of current affairs in Japan--
Judah: …..
Takaomi: They said culture, right? That’s got nothing to do with world affairs.
Minato: It’s amazing that To-ji knows so many difficult things.
Rintarou: Me, me, my Godliness just had The Inspiration ☆
Rintarou: NTA! (Speaking of / Japan / it’s definitely anime) ☆
Touji: I see! Right now “Cool Japan*” is lingua franca around the world so I have no objections. It is suitable as today’s topic is experiencing Japanese culture! Acce-
Minato: Acceptable~
[scene change: takasen room]
Takaomi: And, why are we all in my room?
Touji: gasp Us Special Course 1st years always gather here when watching movies and anime so I just…
Rintarou: Jyupipi is also a Special Course 1st year so that’s no problemo!
Rintarou: Now then, what should we watch~?
Minato: There’s a lot here~ Can we watch any of these?
Touji: There is a channel dedicated to anime on AIZON Prime… What an abundant lineup. You can even binge watch YouBasu** from Episode 1.
Takaomi: ?!
Takaomi: Wow, they’ve got the full collection of “Bukkomi no Taku***”.
Rintarou & Minato & Touji: “Bukkomi no Taku”?
Takaomi: You guys don’t know? It’s a staple of motorbike delinquent anime. The protagonist is a former otaku who later becomes a legendary lone wolf. It’s a success story where he awakens to his title of “Mad Wolf”.
Judah: Then let’s watch that.
Takaomi: !
Judah: Is there a problem with that? Since Takaomi recommended it to such an extent, there must be worth in watching it. Besides, I’m curious about the personage known as “Mad Wolf”.
Rintarou: Okie! Then it’s decided ☆
--
* “cool japan” is a term to refer to japan’s rise as a cultural superpower
** youbasu, short for yousei basuke, is a recurring fictional basketball anime within the dream!ing universe
*** the kanji 特攻 (tokkou) translates to suicide attack or special attack, but in this case i think it’s a reference to a manga titled ‘kaze densetsu, bukkomi no taku’ which is about a wimpy protagonist who gets caught up in biker gang shenanigans