she knows that letter would be read out loud in front of everyone, and she didn’t mind. afterall, the rest of the nova trainees were gathered together for bonding activities. so in the end, everyone here would find out something new about each other. call it equivalent exchange. however, she hears her written words brought to life from kun’s voice and she can’t help but smile. its nothing long, or sad, its surprisingly happy, because hyuna was finally happy and content.
its surprising how content you’ve gotten since your 4th survival show. it’s also surprising you’ve kept you dream of being a producer and idol alive, even after pulling out from your secure debut. things have gotten better, and you’ve been happier than in the past four years. your ups and down haven’t come to an end, and you have a lot to learn and develop on, but keep your head high, and you won’t be off track.
its really simple, and hyuna was a simple person. even if she didn’t debut with luxe, or and*roma, her time would come when she’s happy and excited about these opportunities. afterall, good things come to those who wait.
With the announcement of the bonding eval thing at the end of the month, sungyeol was honestly really lost on what he should pack and even what to do. he had never been the type to go to fancy mountain resorts (his parents and grandparents never took him with them when they went to such places), so he didn’t even know where to start packing or figuring out stuff like that. he stared at a blank sheet of paper during lunch, trying to figure out what to even pack first? maybe he could ask for help but even then, who would he ask?
he stared at the sheet of paper, completely absorbed in his thoughts. he didn’t even notice someone sit across him and then he only noticed the other person when he looked up. “ah, hey!” he exclaimed, grinning widely. “you’re one of the new kids right?” he asked, curious. he had been pretty out of it, so he hadn’t even noticed that some people more people joined up.
Kun. Kun is the guy who Sungjae crashed into, also the guy who Sungjae had to help up even though it obviously was Kun’s fault that Sungjae crashed into them. Every now and then the two has seen each other and Sungjae would even go as far as to say the two are ‘’friends’’, well a least if father asked, he’d be overly happy to know that Sungjae has friends. Sungjae himself doesn’t really care about Kun, he’s just friends with Kun to convince his dad that he has friends. But even if Sungjae doesn’t fully want to admit it, he needs advice or as he would like to call it himself, ‘’information about a specific topic’’ aka ‘’iaast’’ from someone, and this ‘’iaast’’ he can’t get from neither his father or brother. Perhaps he could ask a stranger, but this topic seemed too weird to ask a stranger about and thus he had for the first time ever reached out to someone himself and asked if they could meet up.
It was nothing special, a coffee shop, Sungjae only wanted the ‘’iaast’’ he wanted and then he would leave Kun alone, he didn’t really want nor need anything from the other. He himself was drinking water, coffee was too unhealthy said father, Sungjae’s strict diet wouldn’t allow anything like that. What had been on Sungjae’s mind lately had been something Minseok (Sungjae’s brother) had said; “boys can be cute”. Of course boys can be cute, but is Sungjae allowed to think such thing? Can he find boys attractive? Isn’t he only allowed to think girls are attractive? And it annoyed him how he knew so little, could boys find other boys cute? Why had nobody ever told Sungjae that? “Gege there’s something I want to ask you”
…
“Am I allowed to think other boys are cute even though I’m a boy?”
with yewon and changbin (song distribution) | episode 05 trio performance
That awkward moment when you drag someone’s performance and they actually get eliminated. It was the first time Kyungsoo gave a full negative review too. He couldn’t help but to feel a little guilty as the first pair - Hohyeon and Olivia walked from the stage. To be fair, though, the decision was made before he made his interview comments. There was no way his words had any association with the final decision but still, he cared enough to chase after Hohyeon after the episode to see if he was doing alright.
After that brief intermission, however, Kyungsoo’s focus was back on what was truly important - the trio performance. This time, he was placed in a group with Yewon and Changbin. Yewon, bubbly and sweet, was the one to gather the three of them after the episode to discuss their performance. Kyungsoo felt fortunate to work with two great rappers and was immensely glad that for the first time in two weeks, he didn’t have to worry about dancing. Finally, he could focus on working with his voice again and try his best to give the audience a song that they will remember.
They were sharing a practice room with another trio - Minho, Heejin and Jieqiong. For the first day, Kyungsoo, for the most part, did not attempt to interact with the other trio. Instead, whenever his teammates were out and he was alone with the other three, he sat in the corner furthest away from them and watched them the way a cautious woodland creature would a group of campers. Kyungsoo knew he should be friendlier, that the cameras were watching and he should be finding his smiles but his reserved nature made him hold his tongue. In fact, on that very first day, he was a little cool even towards his own trio. Thankfully, as the hours passed and Yewon’s chatter finally managed to crumble a corner of his ‘stranger danger’ wall, Kyungsoo became a contributor of their conversation.
Once the two of them began talking, they teamed up against Changbin, who was still wearing his ‘scary’ disguise. On the second day of practice, Kyungsoo showed up to the practice room with two boxes. One of the boxes he placed in front of his own teammates and the other he pushed swiftly across the mid line of separation from the other trio before running away - it was a peace offering. He made a quiche and cut it into two equal halves. Then, he made the halves into small, bite-sized portions for easy consumption. The ingredient was neatly labelled on top of the box because he didn’t want to be the reason any contestants go down with allergies. Jieqiong was the first to show interest in that box, shouting for everyone to get what they want quickly because once she starts, all the food will be gone. Kyungsoo found her enthusiasm endearing and secretly cracked a fond smile, but don’t tell anyone that.
Kyungsoo’s logic was simple - people liked food, so if he brought food and fed the people, then they should like him.
Whether or not that logic was correct, he wasn’t sure, but the next day Changbin brought food too. Minho from the other side also joined in. Eventually, the Sphere practice room was having small food parties between breaks. Thankfully most of the food was fairly healthy and even Kyungsoo’s quiche was made out of low fat cream.
Other than that, practices were peaceful, except Suwoong did facetime a few times, wanting to say ‘hi’ to Jieqiong. Kyungsoo ended up giving up and just handing his phone to the woman before returning to his own trio. He had no idea why anyone would possibly want to speak to Suwoong, especially when the other was in an insufferable whiny mood.
The song they decided on for the performance was called Beautiful Liar. Kyungsoo had actually done the song before in a collaboration with Qian Kun, his former student at a language centre. Kun did the rap part and he did the vocals so needless to say, he still remembered most of the lyrics and how the song went. Kun was doing well last time he checked - became a trainee with Nova and everything. Who knows, if everything went well with MGA 5, perhaps Kyungsoo would end up in the same boat in a few weeks.
That was just wishful thinking though, for now, all he needed to worry about was the performance.
The song was about painful insincerity and the trio decided to zero in on that struggle. Kyungsoo, as the only singer, naturally took on the vocalist role. The rapper part was divided between Changbin and Yewon. To add interest, they divided the rapper part by emotions instead of verses. Changbin chose to rap the angrier parts of the song, channelling some aggression into his voice during their practice. Yewon, though still rapping, took on an interesting contrast of a softer, more mournful voice. Kyungsoo, the vocalist, was the one suffering, trying to find his peace between the two.
Though they did not intend to dance, the trio still wanted to make sure the performance was entertaining to the eyes. They brought in a fold-able table and two chairs as their props and set them at the centre of the stage before they introduced themselves. They first said their own names and then ended with “and we are the Ugly Truth!” It was a play on the title of the song they chose, just a bit of fun before they start.
Kyungsoo, in a spotless white suit, sat himself down on the left side of the table. Changbin sat on the opposite side of the table, his suit a rich crimson red. The two of them faced each other, their outfits contrasting like blood against snow, perhaps a hint of the disparity between their voices that was about to greet the stage in a moment’s time. Yewon was sitting on the floor in front of the table, neatly placed right in between the men. The young woman was wearing a blue silk dress, the fabric soft against her skin. She looked like a flower - a beautiful sapphire rose that served almost as a calming presence between the fire and the ice.
이건 beautiful lie
내 마지막 거짓말
죽을 만큼 아파도
너를 위해 난
가면 속에 나를 감추네
Kyungsoo started the song with gentleness, letting the words fall smoothly from his lips, giving Yewon an entrance to her part:
거울 속에 비친 나 자신에게 다시 물어봐
내가 너를 보내주는 게 네 행복이 맞을까
나 따위는 싹 다 벗어던지고 또
넌 혼자만의 고요한 시간이 필요해
맘에도 없는 말들을 던진 건 아닐까
The woman rose from her seated position, her portion of the rap quieter, as if the character she was portraying held sadness inside that she did not want to fully admit. She circled around until she was behind Kyungsoo, wrapping her arms around him. Kyungsoo did not react to her added warmth, his eyes remaining focused where they were and did not shift since the end of his verse.
In fact, if the audience was paying attention, they’d notice that Changbin was holding the same position since they started. They decided to do a time freeze type of thing where the person only moved when they were singing or rapping. It was a cool concept and added to the mood of performance. Besides, it also ensured they didn’t take away from each other. If people did not notice their deliberate stillness at this point, no worries because they were going to have plenty of opportunities later.
꺼져버려라 외치던
너의 표정들을 되감으며
계속 애써 아름다웠던 우리 추억을
더럽히고 있어 난 아직까진 너 빠진 삶을
상상하진 않았지만 행복해 줘
내 거짓말이라도 빛이 나게
When Changbin’s voice came in, it held power and weight. Unlike the softer voices before him, his tone was sharper, angrier, almost as if he was preparing for an argument.
꽉 쥔 두 손 놓지만
내 맘은 똑같아
하지만 보내줄게
이제 두 손을 놓지만
내 맘도 똑같아
For the next part, all three of them participated. They all moved at once, Yewon taking her hands off of Kyungsoo and finding her place once again at the center while Kyungsoo and Changbin rose from their seats. They did a three layer harmony together, with Yewon’s sweet feminine voice doing the rap under layer, Changbin singing the supporting melody and Kyungsoo taking the topline. The three voices blended together, until Yewon, almost sharply, brought it to an end.
널 위해 이쯤에서
끝내는 게 맞는 것 같아
Then it was Kyungsoo’s part again and unlike the intro, he was less gentle and pushed more passion into his voice.
이건 beautiful lie
내 마지막 거짓말
죽을 만큼 아파도
너를 위해 난
가면 속에 나를 감추네
넌 나를 떠나가도 괜찮아
네가 행복하면 좋겠어
Oh 난
I’m a beautiful
I’m a beautiful liar
He went back towards the table, his foot pushing his chair aside. His hands went on the surface of the table and formed fists, as if the admittance hurt him. Kyungsoo paused there for a second before looking up, bangs partially concealing his eyes and making it hard to see who he was looking at - Yewon or the judges. In reality he was, of course, directing his pained gaze at the camera. He held that position as Yewon took the next verse.
넌 계속 내 앞에 서서
하염없이 눈물 흘려
예상치 못했던 대사 후에
펼쳐진 다음 chapter
넌 내가 뱉어낸 말들을
다시 주워 담으라면서
내 얼굴을 잡아 쓸어내리며
점차 주저앉고 있어
Changbin took over right after her, his voice explosive compared to hers.
내가 그려봤던 미래는 이게 아냐
줄에 묶여버린 외로운 개마냥
너만 바라보는 게 죄 같아서 난 내
미련 따위는 삼키고 널
떠나보내 주려는 거야 반드시
나보단 잘 살라고
약속하자 말하는 순간 넌
나를 돌아서네
It went back to Yewon after, her voice almost a whisper as she promised away the last bit of her heart:
널 향한 마지막
내 맘을 줄 시간
우리가 사랑한 자체가 아름다웠다
Changbin and Kyungsoo joined in then, bringing them back to that three layer harmony for the next few lines. Kyungsoo walked away from the table, giving his seat up to Yewon and the girl sank down slowly, full skirt swishing, before her time ran out.
널 향한 마지막
내 맘을 줄 시간
우리가 사랑한 자체가 아름다웠다
Kyungsoo prepared himself mentally for this part, holding himself upright and channelling his energy to bring out that four octave raise high note. It was one of the highlights of this performance and he was glad that they weren’t dancing because there was no way he could have pulled it off if he was even a little out of breath.
족쇄처럼 날 붙드는
나보다 더 나 같은 나
Changbin’s rap was strong, his voice deep in contrast to Kyungsoo’s high notes. The two of them stood at the centre, back-to-back as they let loose their voices during their joint part.
(뒤돌아 내게 달려와
어리석은 거짓말 말라며
미소를 짓고 내 앞에서)
Kyungsoo felt the weight of Changbin’s back gone as the other male had walked back to his place at the table with the end of that rap verse, leaving him alone at the centre of the stage to finish off the song.
It’s a beautiful pain
너를 보내주는 일
내 안에 날 죽이고
눈물 삼키며
웃고 있는 가면을 쓰네
난 지금 너무나 홀가분해
제발 내 걱정은 하지마
Oh 난
I’m a beautiful
아니 비겁한 liar
With the final line, Yewon and Changbin rested their foreheads on the table. Kyungsoo leaned back against the table as the song drifted to its end, still clutching the microphone. Calming blue was at his left, fiery red was on the right, he closed his eyes as if relieved that the two voices in his head were finally silent and he was at peace.
They thanked the judges and the rest of the audience. Kyungsoo clapped both members of his trio on the back in a ‘good job’. Regardless of the results, he had a lot of fun with this stage, singing a song he really loved.
☇ wtf old man
☇ was trying to sleep but all i could think about is how u went and got signed without me
☇ ultimate snake 🐍
☇ also when are u gonna cook for me again 👿
☇ im lonely deleted !
✉ ▸ what’s this, you’re actually treating me for once?
✉ ▸ kidding 哈哈
✉ ▸ are you free this saturday? around late afternoon. i have to run some errands, but after that, we can meet.
hengisguan thank you kun for spending so much time with me lately ~ even though you seem so busy you always make time to teach me a dance move here and there and keep me company! let’s watch a movie together soon 💕
