a/n: i’ve had this idea in my mind for days now so i finally decided to write it. i’m really happy with how this turned out, it might be one of my favorite things i’ve ever written :D
TW: su!c!de attempt, please do not read if this may trigger you
I’ll never leave you
it was all too much. you couldn’t take it anymore.
like a fountain filling up with water. more and more water being added every second. but at some point it’ll overflow.
-----
the view from the top of the tall building filled with random offices was beautiful, you’d have to admit. a wave of calm rushed over you as you looked down, seeing how far away the ground was. maybe this was extreme. a permanent answer to a temporary problem. or even selfish. but you couldn’t handle the pain anymore. you sat on the edge swinging you feet over and letting you chin rest in your hand. in your head this was your best option. you had nothing waiting for you, no one waiting for you.
except for kuugo.
your mind drifted to the happy times you’d spent with him. but he’d be better off without you. everyone would be. you just burdened him with all of your problems. he has his own agency, he’s a busy man. yet he has to deal with you. this would benefit him, you thought. he would have more time to spend on his work, and you don’t have to be in pain anymore, it’s a win win. right?
you still wanted to hear his voice one last time though. you pulled your phone out of your pocket and brought up his contact. tears pricked your eyes as your finger hovered over the call button. you wanted to say ‘i love you’ one last time to him, then you could do it. you didn’t want to worry him thought so you thought it would be best to make the call quick. you wiped a couple stray tears as you brought your phone up to your ear.
-----
kuugo felt a faint vibration against his leg, prompting him to pull his phone out of his pocket to check what was the matter. he saw your name across the screen and he smiled softly to himself. he knew everything you’d gone through and he cared about you so much, so he vowed to himself that he would never miss a call from you if he could help it. that’s why even now, in the middle of a meeting between a few hero agencies, he mumbles a low ‘excuse me’ before walking over to an empty corner to take the call.
“hey, kid.” he says into the phone shoving his free hand into his pocket.
“kuugo..” you tried to hide the emotion in your voice but it was still weak, cracking a bit as you spoke.
“what’s wrong? is everything okay?” he says with concern apparent in his voice, catching the attention of a few pro heros sitting at the table.
“i love you so much. i hope you know that.” even with tears streaming down your face and gasps for air that gave away how hard you were crying, you couldn’t help but smile as those words left your lips. but kuugo was not smiling. quite the opposite. a chill runs up his spine and his hand, once in his pocket, pulls at his tie as he tries to keep calm.
“hey, hey. little one, talk to me. what’s going on?”
“you’ve done so much for me, i’m sorry for wasting so much of your time but i want you to know that i’ve cherished every moment we’ve spent together.” you felt as if the world was collapsing in on you and you were going to escape. but your last words needed to be with him.
“you’re scaring me. where are you?” he knew about these darker thoughts you had so as you spoke with him, he put the pieces together, and that only made him more frantic, his voice even shaking a bit, “kid you need to tell me where you are.” he was speaking much louder as he paced back and forth in the room, not even acknowledging the fact that the meeting had stopped and everyone had turned to watch him.
“it’s okay. it’ll be okay. i love you with all my heart kuugo.” you closed your eyes and hang up the phone, ignoring his protests coming from the other side of the line. you set your phone back down next to you as you looked back down at the ground. finally you would have peace.
-----
kuugo’s frozen with the phone still held up to his face, in shock and not knowing what to do. best jeanist and hawks stand up and call his name a few time, trying to get him to snap out of it.
“y-y/n..” he mumbled. he couldn’t stop the anger that was bubbling inside of him. why wasn’t he with you? how are you going to do it? how can he stop you? his phone fell out of his hand and he turned around to punch a large hole into the wall before he started pacing again.
“what about him? is he okay?” endeavor asks as he too stood up from his chair, leading most of the other heros to do the same.
“i-i need to find him.” he stammers as his pacing pickes up speed. he can’t lose you. he can’t handle that.
“don’t you have each other’s phone locations? i know i have to track this fucker.” aizawa says, motioning to present mic. kuugo stops in his tracks as the realization hit him. aizawa was right, he still had a chance. he could find you. he dove towards his phone sitting back against his heels once he grabbed it and started searching frantically.
“he’s at the akasaka building!” if it was possible, any and all color would drain out of his face as he realized how tall that building is, “he’s gonna jump.” the other heros gasp as the words leave his mouth. he jumps up and bursts out the door ready to sprint all the way to your location before hawks’ hand stops him. he turns around ready to sock him in the face for trying to hold him back before he sees midnight standing behind hawks holding up a set of car keys.
“you won’t get there in time if you run.” she smiles softly, her usual seductive aura is no where to be found, just genuine concern in her voice.
“let’s go get your man.” hawks says, puffing his chest out.
-----
midnight sped down the road, swerving in between cars and honking at anyone she deemed was driving too slow.
“jesus, do you even know how to drive?!” hawks shouts as he holds onto the seat in front of him for dear life. kuugo sits in silence, his leg bouncing up and down as he watched the world zoom past him. this didn’t even feel real at this point. he didn’t know if you were okay, if you had already done it or if he still had time. he prayed he still had time.
-----
you stepped off the edge for a second, wanting to take off the expensive watch kuugo got you, not wanting to damage it. as you stepped back up you realized just how beat down and lost you were. you had just been going through the motions, feeling empty inside. adrenaline was rushing through your veins, so much so that the ringing in your ears got louder and louder to the point where you could barely hear anything. you closed your eyes as your head fell back and your arms opened up wide, accepting the cool breeze that moved through the material of your clothing as you took one more deep breath.
-----
the car screeched to a stop and kuugo jumped out, his blood running cold when he saw you standing at the top of the building. you were too high up to be able to hear him so he rushed inside the building trying to make his way to you as fast as he could. midnight and hawks watched you carefully, feeling it would be best if kuugo went alone. they didn’t want to overwhelm you even more.
he ran up the stairs as quick as his body would let him, deciding that the elevator would be too slow with it stopping on random floors. he had no time to waste. after what felt like hours of going up flight after flight of stairs, he finally saw a door with ‘roof access’ printed across it. he flung the door open and right as he did, he watched the love of his life fall over the edge.
he fell to his knees, his whole body feeling numb. he saw you for a split second, he thought he made it in time, but then you were gone. he couldn’t stop his animal instincts as deep moans and cries ripped through his chest. he had never felt such strong sadness before to the point where he made the sounds most whales do when they’re sad, but now he couldn’t help it. he felt like he had just lost his entire world.
-----
just when all had seemed lost, with kuugo hunched over with his face in his hands, he hears a whistling sound. he looks up to see hawks, with his wings flapping swiftly, and you in his arms. hawks lowered himself onto the roof, now standing before kuugo as the latter tried to process if this was real life or if he had passed out and was dreaming. hawks set you down and kuugo slowly stood up, walking towards you. he reached out and let his thumb run across your tear stained cheek. this was real.
“i’ll give you two some privacy..” hawks says before patting kuugo on the back and flying back down to where midnight stood by the car. kuugo’s eyes roamed your face as his other hand came up to cup the other side of your face. he steps closer to you and softly bumps his nose against your forehead.
“why..?” he whispers. and that one word causes you to breakdown. he wraps his arms around you tightly as you hug his waist in return. he sits back down again, pulling you down with him so you were laying in his lap.
“i’m s-sorry kuugo..” you grip his shirt as you bury your face into his chest. he holds your head, softly petting your hair to help calm you down.
“please... please don’t leave me, kid. i can’t live without you. please..” he hugs you tighter and burying his face into the top of your head. he memorized your touch, your voice, even your smell because he was so close to losing you. it felt like a miracle that he was able to hold you in his arms at that moment.
“i-i won’t.. i’m s-sorry. it just hurts so much.”
“i know, i know. i’m here though. i’ll protect you from anything. you have to come to me when you feel these feelings. we can work through them together, okay? you said on the phone you wasted my time, y/n any time spent with you is never a waste for me. it’s a gift.” you couldn’t help but cry even more, his words making you feel so much comfort and warmth that you never wanted to let go of him.
“trust that i’m saying the truth right now because,” he pulled back and softly lifted your chin up with his fingers, “i need you. you’re my everything...” you quickly wipe the tears still streaming down your face before pressing soft kisses to kuugo’s nose and cheeks. you held your nose to his, just looking into his eyes for a second before wrapping your arms around his neck and shoving your face into his shoulder. he wrapped your legs around his waist and stood up, easily carrying you because you just fit so perfectly in his arms. he kept his hands on your back as he walked, still moving them up and down slowly to comfort you.
“my baby boy...” he said softly as he kicked open the roof access door, “ let’s go home.”