my mental health has been at an all time low lately to the point where ive isolated myself more than i even did during quarantine. my rejection sensitive dysphoria is no help either. i deleted tumblr and discord for a while and almost deleted all other social media too. but im starting college soon meaning im moving away, so things are starting to look up.
i guess i kinda just wanted to make a little update and see if there was even any response to this. im not even sure if people want to see any writing from me anymore but if you do let me know... ive been thinking about it a lot
this is such a random post but surprise im still alive lmao
i uhh,, i know i have so many requests to write and i feel like shit for not writing them and asking for more so i'm really sorry but,,
anyone have any fem reader fics they want me to write ? mostly sfw but i can do a couple nsfw too :) like i said i want to be able to write for all parts of myself
i'm really sorry to my male/gn reader followers i promise i will still write fics for yall too,, hopefully you're aren't too upset with me😖
so yall saw that i changed my pronouns from he/they to they/them a while back,, i realized that i am nonbinary. while i still feel masc a lot, i have been getting more in touch with my fem side too. would yall be mad if i started maybe trying to write for fem readers too ? i'll still write for male readers and gn readers i just want to be able to write for all parts of myself.. i know a lot of people like my blog because of it being exclusively male/gn readers so that's why i wanted to ask... i'm really sorry if this upsets any of you :((
pleasee how about ushijima catching you staring at him hehehe
i've been so freaking busy with our musical but i missed writing too much so enjoy this little drabble hehe
Ushijima catching you staring at him
everyone knew about your little crush on ushi
except for him of course
but he did gradually start to pick up on some odd behaviors from you
like how you never really made eye contact with him
or how your voice got a bit softer when speaking to him
he wondered what it was about but he didn't want to say anything and unintentionally make you feel bad
until one day it hit him, a sign that he couldn't ignore
----------
you two were studying together in the practically empty library. not a word had been spoken between you two for a while, but even so, you couldn’t help yourself from glancing up agt him every so often. how could you not? your eyes trailed from him dark hair to his olive skin. your gaze lingered a bit longer this time as you were mesmerized by the way his eyelashes layed acrossed his cheeks while he looked down at his books. You saw his broad shoulders blocking the painting that was behind him on the wall as your eyes drifted to his chest.
“is there something on my shirt?” he asked when he finally felt your gaze on him.
“what? n..no!” you exclaimed, caught off guard by him noticing you. you tried to go back to your own textbook but he wasn’t going to let this go.
“then why were you looking at me like that?” you swallowed down the lump of nervousness in your throat to try to keep your voice composed but it clearly wasn’t working, “is everything okay?”
“of course...” you say with a slight smile but that wasn’t enough for ushi either. he got up from his seat and made his way around the table, pulling out the chair that was right next to yours.
“could this possibly have anything to do with you never looking me in the eye when you talk to me?” your eyes widened but you kept your head down, not wanting to look at him, realizing that you were proving his point even more, “or how tendou told me to try spending more time with you because i make you happy?”
“he said that??” your head snapped up but then dropped back down soon after. you talked to tendou about your feelings often and he always swore that he would never expose your, not so secret, secret. there was a moment of silence as you both tried to figure out what to say next, not knowing how to approach this situation.
“you were smiling a bit... was that because of me?” there was no point in lying now, you thought. so you nodded, fumbling with your fingers under the table. you hear a slight chuckle come from him, a sound you didn’t hear often but when you did it was like music to your ears, “i like that.”
“you do?” you finally meet his eyes which caused him to smile once again. not just a half smile, a smile you could see in his eyes. when he nodded you let out a sigh of relief.
“after all i do like you.” your eyes widened and your jaw almost fell open. you were not expecting that. all this time you spent quietly longing he liked you back the whole time. he chuckled again at your shocked expression, “i’m surprised you didn’t know, i told tendou to tell you because i was a little nervous.” that asshole. of course he didn’t tell you. you would be having a long conversation with him once your study session was over.
ushi reached across the table and gathered his stuff together, pulling them in front of his new seat next to you. you smiled contently and turned to get back to work. that was until you felt a pair of soft lips press against your cheek. your face heats up as you look over to see him with his face in his books, humming innocently.
you wouldn’t be able to think about school after that.
-----
“i wanted you two love birds to figure it out on your own. with only a little help from me of course~” was all tendou had to say on the matter.
to those of you on here who follow my main acc too🥺🥺 you have no idea how much that means to me :,) thank you for wanting to see all my shit posts ajsjdbsjksk
Ahh I don’t know if this is weird to say but I’ve been questioning my gender recently and seeing that u have ftm fics is so comforting so ty 🥺
that's not weird at all ! i'm so glad they've helped comfort you :D i know my requests are closed right now but if you would like to send something in i would love to write something for you !! i can take one more request if it's from you hehe <3
can i please request ushijima/tsukishima/oikawa when their s/o has an oral fixation <3
a/n: nonnie i have an oral fixation too and that shit can be stressful as heck,, i hope you are doing okay and i hope you like this !!
a/n: also to anyone that doesn’t struggle with this, please don’t be mean. it may seem silly but it’s actually a pretty tough thing sometimes
TW: skin biting (?? idk how else to explain it)
Ushijima, tsukishima, and oikawa when their s/o has an oral fixation
ushijima wakatoshi
he really didn’t know anything was wrong at first
especially because you tried to be super subtle about it
he just noticed that you would bite your nails a lot
or sometimes maybe your knuckle would find it’s way into your mouth a bit
but he never really thought anything of it
but one day he noticed you holding your fingers in your mouth, something he didn’t see you do too often
he also could see the part of your fingers that your teeth were brushing against was getting a bit irritated
so he worried there was something worse going on
----------
“is everything okay?” his voice sort of snapped you out of your zoning out and you looked over at him only to be met with such concerned eyes. you nodded but when you saw that the look on his face never changed, you knew you hadn’t convinced him. so you told him what was wrong and why you had your fingers in your mouth. you couldn’t meet his eyes because you were just too embarrassed. you felt stupid after hearing what you were saying.
“well that’s okay, you don’t need to be embarrassed. i just don’t want you to hurt yourself.” you nodded but kept your head down, running your fingers over the marks on your other hand. you jumped a bit when two fingers were shoved in your face, that’s when you finally look up at him.
“w..what?” you look at him genuinely confused but he didn’t move his hand. all he did was push his fingers closer to your mouth.
“that way you aren’t hurting yourself. trust me, i can handle it.” you finally understood what he was getting at but he could tell you were pretty apprehensive about it, “really, it’s okay. i want to take care of you. will you let me, honey?” he had so much love in his eyes and absolutely zero judgement so you reluctantly agreed. you held his fingers in your mouth, immediately feeling calmer at the feeling. he simply turned back to his phone and scrolled mindlessly, like nothing was happening. it made you feel so cared for, that he was so willing to do something like this just to make you feel better.
you held his hand just below his fingers with your two hands and rested your head on his shoulder. you peeked over at his phone to catch a glimpse of the funny videos he had been watching.
“you wanna watch them with me?” you looked up at him and nodded, smiling softly when he angled his phone better so you could both see the screen. but of course he couldn’t stop himself from kissing the top of your head before he moved on to the next video.
tsukishima kei
so tsuki knew about it
he kinda picked up on it so when he asked you, you explained it to him
there was no use lying to him, he’s a smart guy
he ended up doing a lot of research on ways he could help
he always tried his best to help you in casual ways
he didn’t want to draw too much attention to it because he worried that would make you feel worse
and he didn’t want that by any means
----------
he had just come home and he heard quiet sobs coming from your shared bedroom. immediately he was worried and basically sprinting to see you. when he opened the door he saw you sitting on the bed with your knees pulled up to your chest, your shoulders shaking a bit with every cry.
“baby.. baby, what’s wrong?” he rushed to sit by your side, lifting your head up out of your knees. he knew you were having a rough time and he could tell by the irritated, slightly puffy marks covering your knuckles on your hands. whenever you were having a panic attack your habits to help your fixation became more negative so tsuki knew he needed to step in to prevent further harm.
“why don’t we go get something to eat, hm? does anything sound good? you can tell me what’s bothering you while we eat together.” he wipes the tears from your cheeks as you slowly nodded. he helped you to your feet and led you to the kitchen. he quickly whipped up one of your favorite meals, giving you quick little pecks on your cheek along the way, and sat the two of you down at the dining table.
“so tell me what happened, baby.” he said before taking his first bite, “ i wanna hear all about it.” he knew that eating would give you the same stimulation that would calm you down, and you’d get some food in your belly. so it was a win win for him. he preferred having his meals with you anyway.
tooru oikawa
oikawa might not know every thing about your fixation, but he knows that it hurts you and he doesn’t like that
he knew you did things that were a bit painful at times
like biting your nails a little too much to the point where they were sore
or he saw how sometimes your knuckles were swollen and you winced a little when moving them
he finally decided to ask you what he could do to help
he’ll do anything to make you feel better, no questions asked
----------
you two were just sitting watching a movie together and you had been switching around between resting with the tip of your finger in your mouth, to chewing your nails, to biting your knuckles. you were unaware that oikawa was observing it all with worried eyes.
“sweetheart that’s gonna make them hurt you can’t do that...” he finally had enough and reached over to pull your hand away from your mouth. you bit your lip and sighed as your head dropped down a bit.
“i just... need something there. like the feeling..” he pieced it together from that and didn’t want to make you talk about it further because he didn’t want you to get upset. so he just leaned over and gave you a slow soft kiss.
“does that help a bit?” he whispered when he finally pulled away. your face felt warm and your eyes were wide, not having expected him to do something like that so suddenly. but it gave you a feeling pretty close to what you would get from other stimulation so you nodded.
“then we can just do this, hm? surely that’s better than you hurting your hands... and of course i don’t mind kissing you more often.” he said with a soft smile and a faint blush on the tips of his ears. he pulled you onto his lap and kissed your lips again, humming when he felt you smile against his lips. he definitely liked this way of helping you best.
i'm working on a tagging system but i can say that from now on i will be using this tag for nsfw things so please block 'mdni' if you are a minor following me.
romaincrisis
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
tangentwithtanner
janainaart
snowghoul
