#kvartext

[kvarenje]

Alright. I'll admit it. Y'all Minecraft people might be onto something here.

I'm giving it a shot as a fun bonding activity with my structural engineer boyfriend across the pond and this shit is actually pretty fun

[kvarenje]

I finally got my autism testing results back.

Level 1 ASD, also known as Asperger's (so, a mild form of ASD).

It's what I suspected, honestly, but it's a little bittersweet. Sweet because it is validating and gives me something to point to and say "this is why I behave the way I do". Bitter because it's kinda rough seeing all your shortcomings and difficulties spelled out in cold, clinical language.

Idk, I'll probably have more articulated emotions about it once I have my feedback appointment. I'll write a longer post once I've sorted through all those feelings.

[kvarenje]

I... I am really not used to feeling good about myself. It's a little disorienting right now.

I quit my birth control pills cold turkey about a month ago, and after a rough first two weeks, it's like a heavy blanket has been pulled off of me. Like my eyes have finally adjusted to the light after being in the dark for so long.

I didn't quite realize this until I flipped through an old sketchbook that I used from 2012 to 2016. I was expecting to hate everything, but... but I didn't. All I felt, even going back all the way to 2012, was PRIDE. I loved every single piece. I was PROUD of every single piece. I teared up because all I could think was "why did I ever stop drawing?" And that feeling caught me so off guard. I'm so used to hating myself and believing I'm not worth anything, that natural positivity felt downright bewildering.

I'm making a promise to myself that I will pick art back up again. It might take a bit, but I will get myself back to the level i was once at. Maybe my creativity will slowly start returning, too. Or maybe that's something I'll need to cultivate again. Either way, I'm finally ready to make art again.

[kvarenje]

Mmmmm I'm getting really into D&D homebrewing all of a sudden

I'm practicing by seeing if I can turn Flight Rising dragon breeds into balanced humanoid races, and I'm also trying to build some of my races from my old headworlds into D&D/Pathfinder format. Boy am I having a lot of fun with that

But like. I am getting real ambitious. I want to homebrew my own full world, a batch of races, a whole pile of new enemies, maybe even unique classes... eventually I want to co-run a campaign with my husband, but is all this too much? Will people want to learn a whole new world, with new lore and nary a human or elf in sight?

I sure fuckin hope so, because DAMN I love worldbuilding

[kvarenje]

Who's got two thumbs and has been spending all day binge-watching Trial & Error?

(Me. It's me. I can't resist lawyer comedies.)

[kvarenje]

Shout out to my parent's cats, Misty and Sasha, for a hilarious sense of timing

My parents just bought a house in Sarasota and are moving out of their rental house next week. One of the cats apparently vomited directly inside the front entryway shortly before the owner brought a group of new potential renters in for a showing. They were not home at the time and only found out through an exasperated but admittedly hilarious voicemail.

You go, ladies. Fight the power lol

[kvarenje]

Today's Good News: I got an unexpected phone call alerting me to a refund I would be receiving soon from my insurance belatedly paying for my autism testing

Today's Bad News: Tuna has a bad habit of hurting her eyes and might have scratched a wound open on one eyelid :(

[kvarenje]

Bad Anxiety Feel(TM) : when you're waiting on two important emails and get an anxiety surge when you see an email notification but it's just ZipRecruiter giving you more bad job recs