Hi! I have binge read your first one shot collection again so get ready for some requests. (My current tv show just disappointed me in the worst way so I need some Malex, Kylex, and Forlex healing via reading your work) I wanted to request a Kylex epilogue for chapter 25. I love how vulnerable Alex let's himself be at the end of the story. Thank you!
@pluckygazelle
Sequel to this fic.
***
Alex and Kyle sat in Kyle’s car, waiting at a stoplight that had long since turned green, but as there was no one else on the road, they felt in no rush to get wherever they were going. The night was officially ruined, and Kyle wished he had some magic words to help Alex feel better, but the memory of Michael’s words, Michael’s eyes on Alex, the anger and plea in Michael’s voice, was beyond any comfort Kyle could give.
It didn’t matter who his actual boyfriend was, Alex’s kryptonite would always be Michael. There was no getting past him.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he offered, and Alex, staring outside the window, merely shook his head.
“Alex,” he sighed, “it’s okay.”
“It’s not,” Alex said. His brows were pinched, his lips pursed. Kyle used to interpret that look as Alex thinking hard, but he’d learned a long time ago to see the remorse alongside Alex’s train of thought, the pain that encompassed it all. It was a complicated feeling only Michael could bring on.
It’s okay, Kyle told himself. You knew what you were getting into. It’s Alex, and Alex is always worth it.
He took Alex’s hand, and kissed his fingers until the tension in his shoulders faded.
Alex finally slumped against his seat and heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“Don’t be sorry.”
“He shouldn’t get to me this much.”
“But he does,” Kyle said simply. “I know. It’s okay,” he repeated.
“It’s not,” Alex repeated as well, turning in his seat to face him. “Kyle, it’s not. Stop making excuses for my . . . my . . .”
“Your what?”
“My weakness,” Alex confessed quietly.
“Are you kidding me?” Kyle asked, turning to face him, too. “Alex, you’re the strongest person I know. Look, I didn’t want to say this, mostly because it’s a real hit to the ego—”
“Don’t break up with me,” Alex said at once, covering Kyle’s hand on his with his own, squeezing hard. “I swear, I won’t—I won’t talk to him again, I won’t go near him again—”
“Whoa, slow down,” Kyle cupped his jaw. “Slow down, baby. I’m not going to break up with you.”
Alex clenched his jaw, eyes glassy and resigned. “What’re you calling it then? Freeing me? Letting me go? Making me happy? I’ve heard it all before.”
“Alex—”
“That’s what you’re going to say, isn’t it?” Alex said. “That Michael and I are cosmic soulmates and should be together, right? That we’re destined for each other and no one else will ever measure up, and any other crap way to tell me who I’m supposed to love and who I’m supposed to be with—”
“Stop.” Kyle slid a hand into his hair, forcing Alex to look at him instead of letting him fade away in front of him, back into his dark thoughts. “I am not abandoning you to some guy that won’t treat you like you deserve.”
Alex’s eyes focused, and his lower lip trembled ever so slightly. Terrified to hope. “What?” he croaked.
Kyle let his hand fall down to the nape of Alex’s neck and massaged the area until Alex stopped looking like a cornered kitten, expecting trouble and both prepared and terrified of fighting it.
“I do think you and Guerin love each other,” he said, and as Alex opened his mouth to argue it, Kyle cut in with, “But I know you love me, too.” Alex clamped his mouth shut, but nodded vigorously, his hand squeezing Kyle’s tighter as he leaned in an inch. The small hopeful gestures made Kyle’s lips quirk. “And yes, I think you and Michael have some kind of cosmic soulmate destiny that keeps you together.”
His expression turned serious as he went on, “But cosmic means jack if he doesn’t show it, Alex, and he doesn’t show it.” He dropped his hand from the nape of Alex’s neck to the small of his back, pulling him. “I show it, and I’ll keep showing it. So yeah, I know about you and Michael, and I know how important he’ll always be to you.”
He kissed Alex’s hand. “But I also know that if we’re ever going to break up, it’s not going to be because of me. I had to say that you love each other out loud because the day you say it is the day we end this. And I don’t know when that time will be—”
Alex was already shaking his head. “It’s not—”
“I don’t know when that day will be,” Kyle insisted, “but I don’t want it to be today. Not now.” He brushed the back of Alex’s hand with his thumb. “Not yet.”
Alex searched his face, somehow able to hear what Kyle wasn’t saying. That he didn’t want to see Alex try to lie to himself. Someday, when the time was right and Michael finally got his head out of his ass, Alex would choose him. Alex would always choose Michael over the world.
And yet, when Alex’s fears settled and he took Kyle’s hand and whispered, “I love you, Kyle,” Kyle took all the comfort he needed in it. For now, Alex loved him. For now, Alex was his. And that was good enough.
He’s worth it, Kyle believed with every cell in his body. These moments will always be worth it.
Title: In Our Castle High Above the Trees
Tags: AU - Canon Divergence, Teen Years, Teenagers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Angst, Friends to Enemies, Sexuality Crisis, Aftermath of Violence, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Hopeful Ending, Enemies to Lovers
W/C: 10,340
Summary: After the fight at prom, Alex goes to an old haunt where he feels safe—the treehouse. He doesn't expect Kyle to show up and he certainly doesn't expect him to apologize for the past four years.
TW: Alex repeats the slur (twice) that Kyle said to him at prom.
Alex grunted as he hefted himself up the aging ladder consisting of 2x4’s nailed into the trunk of the large oak tree—he wouldn’t be surprised if some of the wood gave way beneath his feet. It had been years since he’d been up here and he wasn’t certain why it was the first place he’d thought to go after his fight with Kyle. Obviously his brain was a masochistic bastard.
He managed to remain in one piece as he pulled himself onto the platform that supported the main structure of the treehouse, shedding the silver jacket and carelessly tossing it onto the faded wood beneath his feet. He remembered how tall he had felt standing up here when he was younger, but now he recognized it was hardly eight feet from the ground. Funny how much perception could change in just a few years.
Alex sat down with his legs dangling over the edge of the platform and rested his arms and chin on the railing. If there had been one saving grace for this treehouse, it was that their dads had built it at the Valenti house and not at his own. There weren’t any trees sturdy enough in the Manes yard to support it, so Jesse had had to relinquish control to Jim—loath as he was to do so. It had also given Jim more excuses to have Alex stay over at the Valentis when he realized what Jesse was doing to him. Back then Alex hadn’t recognized the sheriff’s dual motivations, but once high school started and he’d lost that safe space, he saw the man’s actions for what they had been.
He heard leaves crunch on the ground beneath him and half–expected it to be his father, but it was just the second–to–last person he wanted to see right then. “You gotta be kidding me,” he mumbled, but he didn’t bother moving. If Kyle was looking for another fight, Alex had no qualms with launching the asshole over the edge of the railing. He wouldn’t be playing many college sports with a broken clavicle.
After “Thrown away Thursday” in which I shared a snippet of an abandoned work, today I’m Flashing Back to an early RNM fic and one of my first attempts at writing Kylex
*****
“I have something to show you” Kyle said with a glint in his eyes.
“What?” Alex was already excited. He loved the secrets he and Kyle shared.
Kyle reached under the couch and grabbed his backpack. He unzipped it and produced a magazine which he presented to Alex. Kyle watched for a reaction from the other boy but Alex just frowned.
“Where did you get it?” He asked.
“In the basement” Kyle said “its old, I think it’s my dads”
He opened it and showed the double page image of a naked woman to Alex.
“Look at her boobs” Kyle giggled.
Alex smiled and reached for the magazine, started to flick through the pages but they were all the same. Lots of pictures of barely dressed or completely naked women. One page had an image of a woman in her underwear kissing an attractive man.
“You ever wonder what it’s like?” Kyle asked him.
“What what's like?” Alex replied.
“Kissing! Have you ever kissed a girl?”
“What? No! Have you?”
“Not yet but I will”
“Kyle”
“I’m nearly thirteen, Alex! Half the boys at school have kissed someone and I don’t want to be the last… I can’t not kiss a girl before I’m a teenager!”
“Have you got a girl in mind?”
“Yeah”
“Who?”
“Liz”
“She’s nice, you should kiss her”
Kyle took the magazine back and hid it inside the backpack. He suddenly looked nervous and Alex frowned.
“What’s wrong, Kyle?” Alex asked.
“I’m nervous about it” Kyle confessed.
“Why?”
“Because I’ve not done it before. What if I’m bad at it?”
Alex laughed. Kyle was amazing at everything he did. He didn’t tell him that though.
“I think I should practice” Kyle stated very matter of factly.
“it’s a good idea” Alex agreed “maybe with the palm of your hand?”
“Nah, that’s not good enough”
“Well it's not like there’s anything else you can use”
“Yeah there is”
And that’s how Kyle Valenti became Alex Manes’s first ever kiss.
Kyle knows he shouldn't be this comfortable with waking up to Alex in his bed. Yet he opens his eyes expecting to see the other man beside him and something within his stomach stirs and flutters when he is met with that exact sight. He smiles lazily when Alex opens his eyes.
"Have you been watching me sleep?" Alex asks and his eyebrows jump a little.
"You're one to talk," Kyle says instead of defending himself. He places his hand over the one resting on his chest. He feels the heat Alex's palm pressed to his body is emitting, even with his shirt separating them and preventing direct contact.
"We've had this conversation before," Alex replies with a roll of his eyes, but he doesn't rush to pull away his hand. Neither of them is in a hurry to move.
Kyle lets out a sigh of contentment. He should perhaps assure Alex that there is no medical reason to worry about him ceasing to breathe in his sleep, but he doesn't mind too badly that Alex keeps touching him. The fact that the soldier feels free to is a reward in itself, even if Alex only thinks Kyle's sleeping is weird.
They fall into pleasant silence. It's comfortable. It's exactly as mornings should be.
Then Alex speaks.
"I've been thinking," he says.
Kyle doesn't want the moment to get serious. They've been through all sorts of serious things lately. Aliens and military and death and resurrection and heartbreak and murder attempts and government conspiracies and family drama, they've seen it all. Moments of respite are so rare and so far apart that Kyle isn't ready to give this one up yet. He doesn't have that much downtime, he wants to use all that available to him to his advantage.
So he mock-gasps.
But to his disappointment, Alex just glares at him. "I'm being serious. Please, be serious for a moment."
"I can be serious," Kyle protests, then mimics zipping up his mouth.
Alex rolls his eyes. He sighs. When he next opens his mouth, he shocks Kyle more than he'd imagined possible. "I think I should talk to my brothers."
Kyle sits up. So fast he might have pulled something in the process. "What? No! We've been avoiding them for a reason."
Alex rolls onto his back. "I know. And I am tired of it. Aren't you tired of running yet?" He expels air from his lungs in one long exhale. “At some point, you have to stop running and face the danger head on. Or you’ll run off a cliff.”
“That was deep.”
“Little morning philosophy,” Alex replies. Though it comes across as an attempt at a joke, he looks serious. “I tried running. From Roswell, from Michael… It never works. And maybe facing things head on doesn’t always work either, but at least I…” He runs his fingers through his hair with another sigh. “In the end, it leaves you feeling less helpless.”
Kyle knows what he means. He is glad he has explored the mystery of his father’s death and faced all of it himself. Even if it has forced him to confront some dark truth about his personal hero, he is glad he hasn’t run away from the truth. That he actually found the answers rather than accepting the story given to him, hiding from the possibility of complications and danger. Sure, he hasn’t expected to find what he ended up discovering, but he knew from the start that it would be a ride that’d turn his world upside down. But…
“If I had confronted your father head on, I would be dead,” he says. When Alex opens his mouth to protest, Kyle places his fingers against his lips without thinking. “I thought about it, when he was following me. I thought about whether I could walk out with a gun and face him. I knew even before I decided to walk into the gun store that I couldn’t do that. I’m a doctor, not an action hero.”
Alex takes hold of his wrist then and interrupts Kyle by pulling his hand away from his lips. “Was that another pop-culture reference? You can’t keep referencing things you’ve never seen during serious conversations.”
Kyle blinks. He shakes his head. “No?” He has no idea what Alex is hinting at.
“We need to watch Star Trek, too,” Alex sighs. “As soon as our life calms down a little.”
“Will it ever?”
When Alex lets go of Kyle’s arm, Kyle wraps his arm around Alex’s waist. It’s comfortable and grounding. Kyle has been thinking about kissing Alex a lot, ever since their dessert date, but right now he is comfortable to just lie here with him. Alex smells good and Kyle could get used to his sheets always smelling like him.
Bailey stirs on her pet bed at the foot of theirs then. She yawns. Kyle smiles. Despite their conversation, he likes the domesticity they have going on.
“We should take her out,” he says, even as the dog rests her head on her paws again. Not that he moves to do so. He can see the alarm clock from his current position and the numbers say that they still have a while before they need to be anywhere.
“I think we can have a shower first,” Alex says, yawning as well, and before Kyle can get ideas, he adds: “At least I’m going to do that.”
Kyle nods. He slowly extracts himself from his friends and lets Alex sit up and grab his crutches. He doesn’t want to stare, but he can’t take his eyes off Alex. He isn’t sure exactly when he realized how attractive Alex is and how much of an effect it has on Kyle.
If Alex knows he is staring, he doesn’t react. Instead, he makes his way to the bathroom and after some reluctance, Bailey follows after him. She attempts to, at least, but soon decides it’s much too early and lies down again. Kyle’s company is enough. At least until he, too, gets up to get the coffee going. She follows after him into the kitchen, not wanting to be left alone.
It occurs to him that Bailey thinks of them as a family. She has no reason not to. By the time Alex got her, their lives were already all tangled up. Kyle hopes he never has to explain to her otherwise. Having her around is as pleasant as having Alex. Having him around, that is.
“So what do you propose we do?” he asks Alex, when Alex emerges some time later, showered and dressed and with his prosthetic attached. “If you want to stop hiding from your brothers?”
Alex quirks an eyebrow at him. “We?” he asks and Kyle shrugs, because of course it’s ‘we.’ They’ve been in all this together for a long time.
He hands Alex his coffee and Alex sips it while looking for Bailey’s collar and leash and continuing the conversation. “I thought about what you said the first time. Playing Home Alone with them at the cabin.”
“Is that what you want to do? Start spending more time at your cabin, start advertising that that’s where you are, set up traps for when they come?” Kyle shakes his head. Alex is incredibly smart, but that sounds like a terrible idea.
Alex must think so, too, because he shakes his head with a laugh.
“No. I’d just like to be ready when I meet them… I’ve been thinking about inviting them over for dinner.”
Alex knew he picked a good choice of best friend when Kyle's response to Alex being dumped was to haul him into the car and start the 11 hour drive to Las Vegas.
The whole drive was spent full of Kyle distracting him and hyping him up, stopping by a daiquiri shop on the way there and getting him the largest size. It was a little weird, but Alex found that he was endlessly grateful. He needed this.
"You were too hot for him anyway," Kyle said a few hours in, "You deserve someone who could at least be a model, but not more of a model than you, you feel me?"
"Yeah,* Alex laughed, smiling at him as he sipped his drink, "I feel you."
"But it's all good. We're going to find you a hot piece of ass to rail," Kyle declared, "Or get railed by, I don't judge."
"Jesus Christ, Kyle," Alex laughed, but he just flashed that charming smile and went on with driving.
When they arrived in Vegas, the city was already lit up for the night and Kyle got a hotel room that they didn't stay in for long. He immediately led the way to a casino and paid Alex's way. Whenever Alex tried to refuse the handouts, Kyle insisted and said it was his idea so he would pay.
They spent the next few hours getting drunk and winning little sums of money. $20 here, $5 there, nothing fancy. But Alex was having more fun with Kyle than he had in his entire relationship, so it was easy to get lost in it.
"Alex," Kyle called, catching him by the belt loop and tugging him closer, "Blow on these for good luck."
Alex felt his face flush and a few sets of eyes were on them, but he blew on the set of dice Kyle shoved in his face nonetheless. He watched him throw them onto the table afterwards and a few separate things happened that he didn't quite understand having never been the gambling type. People cheered, though, and Kyle kissed the side of his face without hesitation.
"Told you!" Kyle exclaimed, "Good luck charm. What's his face didn't even know what he had."
Alex felt his face get even hotter and soaked up the praise without question.
Kyle kept him close as they eventually left the casino when they had a solid amount of winnings, taking their tipsy asses to a drag bar a few blocks away. They were let in surprisingly easy for not being dressed up in the slightest. They drank more, talking closer over the loud music and getting absolutely lost in each other's company. Alex felt like the luckiest man in the entire universe.
A few times, Kyle tried to introduce him to men he thought he might be interested in, but Alex always found Kyle significantly more interesting. He didn't mind going to bed alone if it meant just having Kyle. He eventually got that and stopped sending other guys his way, instead accepting drinks from interested parties and sharing them with each other.
"Men suck. All of them. Except maybe you," Alex said confidently, drunk enough to speak his mind but not enough to mess with his balance (for the most part) as they walked down the lively street. Kyle seemed to be on the same level because he smiled, squeezing Alex's hip since he had a grip on him so he wouldn't lose him as they headed towards the hotel. "God, I wish you were gay."
Kyle laughed loudly, "Oh yeah?"
"Yeah!" Alex exclaimed, "You're, like, the only man I've met who understood what, like, growth is."
"What can I say? Therapy is a recommendation in my hospital," Kyle said. Alex snorted. "But glad I could be a good example."
"Yeah," Alex sighed, "You're my favorite person."
"Good," Kyle said, kissing the side of his head for what felt like the billionth time that night, "'Cause you're mine."
They were a block away from the hotel when they came across a 24-hour chapel. Kyle slowed as they neared it and came to a complete stop as he stared at it.
"You wanna get married?" Kyle asked. Alex blinked twice and looked at him.
"Seriously?" Alex said. His mind instantly started trying to be rational. Was he drunk? Was Kyle? What exactly did him asking that mean? Was it a joke? Would it be platonic? Would it be crazy to say yes even if it was?
"Yeah, why not?" Kyle said, looking at him with a fairly reckless smile. It reminded him of young Kyle who had talked him into sneaking into an abandoned house or had spontaneously learned how to do a backflip because he wanted to. He'd gotten a little more responsible since then, but it was nice to see. "Alex Manes deserves to give a nice fuck you to society and I'd love to do the honors of being that fuck you."
And, before Alex could even convince himself to ask questions, he nodded.
"Okay, sure."
Both drunk of hours of alcohol and each other, they found themselves standing in front of a tacky alter with a bouquet of faux flowers in Alex’s hand. They only partially listened to the guy who got his ordination credentials online, instead making teasing faces at each other. Alex felt like he was going to burst out of his skin, feeling a little confused and a little overwhelmed and a lot eager to understand what this meant. Would they frame their marriage license to put his dad’s grave and drink champagne in front of him? Would they use this for shared financial benefits? The healthcare between an Air Force officer and a doctor would be pretty sweet.
Except when the officiant said that they could kiss, Alex didn’t actually expect to Kyle to go for it. Or maybe he did because Kyle seemed to go in for a cheek kiss and Alex turned his head to meet his lips and Kyle just pulled him closer. And then Alex didn’t actually remember the kiss ending.
It was like he blinked and they were back at the hotel, pressed into the corner of the elevator as they shared the alcohol still on their tongues. Then they were in the hotel room, two queen sized beds with a single nightstand between them and Kyle led them towards the one closest to the door to share.
It only stopped when Alex had to take his prosthetic off and, even then, Kyle pressed kisses across his shoulders and up his neck and certifiably destroying Alex’s ability to overthink anything. All he could think about was Kyle and how he wanted to touch him and how they had fucking signed a marriage certificate.
After the prosthetic was off, Kyle grabbed his jaw and sealed them in another kiss, pulling him to lay back on the bed. He seemed like he knew what he was doing and that was equally as confusing as the rest of the things that were happening that night, so he stopped questioning it. He welcomed Kyle’s skin and his touch and his kisses and he only had to help him out with an angle here and there.
It wasn’t until he woke up the next morning plastered into Kyle’s side, naked and warm and finally more sober, that he realized he didn’t understand. More than just that, he was outright confused about everything that had happened. Kyle, his straight friend, had just casually married him and slept with him after he got dumped. Did he do it because he felt bad for him? Did he do it because he was drunk? Did he even remember it?
Alex sat up and looked at him. He was sound asleep still, eyes closed and chest rising and falling with each breath. Tiny bruises that Alex had accidentally put on him were partially hidden under his facial hair. He was gorgeous. And so, so, so not into him like that.
Alex quickly got his prosthetic on and pulled on his clothes before he went into the bathroom, avoiding his reflection as he splashed water on his face. He didn’t want to look at himself, didn’t want to face the fact that he felt like absolutely garbage for what he’d done. The whole “marriage” was blurry, but Alex probably guilted him into it somehow. He didn’t remember, though, and that made it worse.
But, honestly, whatever happened was bad. Kyle was his best friend, the main person he could rely on, his safe space. And he fucked it all up by letting it go too far. He was going to lose his best friend because he couldn’t be responsible.
“Alex?” Kyle’s voice called. Alex’s whole body ached in response, a flood of guilt and shame and desire all hitting him at once.
Kyle was his friend and he ruined it and, yet, he wanted to ruin it more. With him, he had fun and felt wanted and safe. No matter how stupid they were being, Alex never felt like the rug was being pulled out from beneath him. He was just safe. He wanted more of that.
“Hey, you okay in there?” Kyle asked, knocking gently. Alex squeezed his eyes closed. “You hungover? I can go get you something to drink. You like red Gatorade, right?”
Alex huffed a laugh and caved, swinging the door of the bathroom open. Kyle stood on the other side in all his naked glory and, honestly, it was a goddamn trap. It had to be. No one just looked like that casually.
“What happened last night?” Alex asked. Kyle stared at him, blinking a few times in confusion before his eyes widened slightly.
“You were that drunk?” he asked. Alex shook his head.
“No, I remember, I just... don’t,” Alex said, scraping his hands over his face, “I don’t get it. I don’t understand. Why did any of that happen? Did I make you feel like you had to or something?”
“You think I would marry you because I felt like I had to?” Kyle asked, a disbelieving tone in his voice. Alex didn't answer. "Look, it was a stupid ceremony and, and I don't think the license is even notarized officially or filed or whatever, so we can just rip it up and pretend it didn't happen if you want."
"Okay, so we pretend that didn't happen," Alex said loosely, his voice tightening as he got a little more upset and be gestured to the bed they'd shared, "How do we pretend that didn't happen?"
Kyle looked away from him for a second, falling so quiet they could hear the footsteps from the people in the room above them. Alex didn't know what to do.
"You want to forget that happened?" Kyle asked cautiously.
Alex huffed a laugh, “You don’t?”
Kyle was quiet for a long time, so long that Alex was beginning to feel sick. He felt like he drastically misunderstood something or maybe Kyle just was incredible at confusing him. Alex liked kissing him and, sure, the thought had crossed his mind more than once that Kyle would be the perfect boyfriend. Kyle was nice and thoughtful and cared about him. But he never in a million years thought Kyle might’ve thought about it too.
“Yeah, if you want to, sure. We forget it happened,” Kyle said, walking back towards the heart of the room to search for his clothes. Alex’s eyebrows were pulled together as he cautiously followed.
“Kyle, what the fuck is going on?” he asked. Kyle seemed to put an ample amount of attention into buttoning his jeans. “Don’t you want to forget it? I mean, I’d figure you’d want to forget sleeping with a guy.”
Kyle dropped his shirt and turned to face him.
“You must think real highly of yourself if you think I just decided to be bisexual because I wanted to make you feel better,” Kyle stated blatantly, “And you must think really highly of me if you think I was that good on my first try.”
“Wait,” Alex said, holding a hand up as he tried to process his words, “Wait, you...”
“I’m bi? Yes. And was it stupid to hook up with you knowing you just got out of a relationship? Also yes, but I’m not known to make good decisions when it comes to my romantic or sexual relationships, so,” Kyle said, throwing his arms out and letting them fall to his side pathetically.
Alex thought back through the last few months, trying to think back to any of the signs of Kyle realizing that about himself. He couldn’t remember when Kyle ever started acting differently. He was always just Kyle.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Alex asked. Kyle took a long, deep breath.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, shrugging his shoulders, “Probably because I knew if I did, I’d have a lot less things keeping me from trying to marry you on a whim in the middle of Las Vegas.”
“Okay,” Alex said, slowly sitting down on the bed. A few seconds passed before Kyle sat beside him, sighing. Alex eventually looked at him after he processed his words. “You didn’t have to tell me if you weren’t ready. You don’t owe me anything.”
“I’m in love with you, Alex,” Kyle said, so openly that Alex’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head, “I have been for a long time and I’m tired of hiding it. Especially after last night. And if you’re not into me like that, okay, fine, I can take it. I-I need a little space, but we’re friends first and I can learn to stop loving you like that. But I need you to tell me because if you don’t, I’m going to sit and wait for the rest of my life.”
“You know, I didn’t expect this whenever you suggested we drive to Vegas,” Alex said, mind swimming with a million thoughts at Kyle’s confession. Kyle huffed a small laugh, but he didn’t try to add anything.
They sat there for a long time, Kyle letting him think over what he said. It was strange to think that, while Alex was dating idiots who didn’t treat him right, Kyle was just there and waiting for him to notice. It made a mess of the last year, a slew of overthinking every interaction. Was Kyle being nice because he was Kyle, or because he wanted to sleep with him? Or was it just because he loved him? Genuinely, truly loved him and didn’t make him feel like that was a bad thing? Was that a thing someone could do?
“Do you really love me?” Alex clarified after awhile. Kyle gently nudged his knee into Alex’s.
“Trust me, I wouldn’t have said that if I hadn’t thought about it every day for months,” he promised, “I love you and I want what’s best for you, whatever that means. So if you want me to fuck off, I will. If you want me to stay, then I will. Ball’s in your court.”
Alex took a deep breath and looked at him seriously. His handsome features, his honest eyes, the little hickies hidden in his facial hair. Alex wouldn’t mind looking at him forever, especially when that wasn’t all he had to offer.
“Can we do something in the middle?” Alex asked. Kyle waited. “Can we spend this weekend in Vegas being stupid and reckless, but when we got back to Roswell, give me some time to actually get over my last relationship. And then we start from square one? I don’t want you to be a rebound.”
“You don’t want me to be a rebound, but you wanna sleep with me again first?” Kyle clarified. Alex blinked innocently and gave a short nod in response. Kyle just laughed, moving forward back into his space and kissing him again.
Alex wasn’t sure if it was the sobriety, the love confession, or just the lack of confusion in general, but this kiss seemed to transcend all the previous ones. He leaned into it more, letting Kyle just love him openly and honestly.
Alex needs a friend and Kyle is determined to be there for him. Just a quick coda to the season premiere. Warnings for Alex being self-loathing and a tiny bit of drinking.
***
“You know you can talk about it with me, right?” Kyle asks. He’s reminded Alex of this so many times, offered it so many times, but he thinks that, sometimes, Alex needs that reminder. That it’s safe to do so. That he does have someone in his corner.
Alex has already said he’s fine, but Kyle knows better. He’s seen Alex perfectly controlled and that wasn’t Alex perfectly controlled. That was anger and pain and desperation leaking out of him. And Kyle knew for certain this didn’t have anything to do with Max Evans or Noah Bracken.
When Alex ducked out before Michael arrived to deal with Noah’s body, well, that confirmed it.
So now he’s here. At Alex’s place, six pack in hand.
Alex accepts the beer wordlessly, tossing the cap to the table and taking a sip. “I fucked things up,” his voice is soft, his eyes staring blankly forward as he peels at the label on the beer.
Kyle sits down next to him, waits for him to elaborate.
“He’s right. I pushed him away. I told myself that I needed to. I needed to keep him safe. I did it, over and over again. For a decade. I was selfish. I took what he offered me and then I pushed him away again. Because I was scared.”
Alex swallows, looks down at the floor. Kyle wants to comfort him, but he knows better than that. He knows Alex and knows touch is complicated for him. And he knows Alex needs to talk about this.
“I was being selfish again. I was- I am finally ready to try. Really try with him. Or I thought I was. I’m a mess and maybe I’d ruin it again. Maybe he’s right to be done with me.
“He’s right. I’m not good for him. And he,” Kyle is surprised to see Alex swipe tears away from his eyes. “He deserves someone who can be good for him. Someone who can hold his hand in public without thinking about what happens when- What happened when someone found out.”
Based on Alex’s stories, Kyle can make an educated guess as to what Alex is talking about and, well, Jesse Manes should be glad Kyle has his code now.
He waits for Alex to continue, but he seems to be done, just continuing to sip at his beer in silence.
So Kyle thinks. He thinks about what Alex has told him of his childhood. Of what he knows of Alex now. And then he finally speaks. “I don’t think you were selfish. I think you love him.” He takes a breath before turning on the couch to face Alex. He waits until Alex faces him too, face wet with tears.
“I meant it when I said you’re the bravest man I know,” Kyle continues. “I’ve known you for most of our lives and you’ve never been scared of what someone’s going to do to you. You’ve never been afraid to be you. So… I think you’re scared of what could happen to Michael because you love him.”
He wants to tell Alex exactly what he thinks. About how Alex deserves someone kinder than Michael. Someone less prone to lashing out when he’s hurting. Alex has been hurt enough. But he knows Alex. He knows how quickly Alex will jump to Michael’s defense. He’s not ready to hear it. Maybe he never will be.
Instead, he repeats, “You’re not selfish. You love him. And, right now, you’ve just gotta keep doing what you’re doing. Be there for him. Be his friend. Love him in the way he’ll let you.”
Alex nods, finishing his beer and leaning into Kyle, giving Kyle the permission he’s been waiting for to wrap an arm around him. He smiles as Alex relaxes into his touch.
“Tell me about your day?” Alex asks.
And Kyle doesn’t know whether he’s looking for a distraction or truly interested, but Kyle tells him anyway. He tells him about Rosa showing up. He leaves out all the medical details, but tells Alex how happy he is to maybe get a second chance with his sister, not mentioning the other second chance he got, the one he deserved even less, the one he’s lucky enough to be enjoying right now. He just needs to keep working on maybe deserving this someday.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Alex Manes/Kyle Valenti, Isabel Evans/Kyle Valenti, Liz Ortecho/Kyle Valenti
Characters: Kyle Valenti
Additional Tags: Dream Sex, sexual awakening, the Liz/Kyle is so so brief, so is the Isobel/kyle, handjobs, Feelings, Smut
Summary:
He should freak out, he should really be freaking out right now because not only is it a man, but it’s his best friend, it’s ~ Alex ~ and he’s never thought...
i need some fluff today, how about a kylex ficlet? 💖
AAH Lubs, you get me my friend! I’m always up for Kylex fluff! (I was actually supposed to be working on school stuff, shhhh, don’t tell anyone)
Up until about three seconds ago, Alex thought he’d known 5 certainties of life.
1: The sun rose in the East
2: Getting sand in your underwear fucking sucked
3: Jetlag fucking sucked
4: Whiskey tasted like poison
5: Kyle Valenti was straight
Now he was starting to wonder if maybe the sun rose in the West, or if maybe whiskey had been good all along because Kyle just kissed him. Kyle. Kyle Valenti. Kyle “you prefer hotdogs” Valenti. His high school bully. Oh my god. His high school bully just kissed him. What the fuck was going on? Was he in an alternate universe? Did he get kidnapped by aliens (again)? Was he hallucinating?
‘Okay. Judging by the look on your face, I should not have done that.’ Kyle said, startling Alex from his freak out. ‘I’m sorry, I thought we were on the same page, I should have used my words. I’m so sorry Alex.’
‘Woah, woah, wait. Rewind.’ Alex held up his hand, trying to process what had just been said. His brain wasn’t usually this slow. He hadn’t even been drinking. ‘You thought we were on the same page? What page? What book are we even in?’ Kyle looked like he’d stopped panicking in favour of looking confused, which, rude. He’s the one who started the whole page metaphor, Alex was just running with it.
‘The book where we’re dating?’ Kyle offered, hesitant and still confused. Alex had to blink stupidly at him, twice.
‘We’re what now?’
‘Dating?’ Kyle repeated. Less hesitant, still confused.
‘We’re dating? Wait, when did that happen?’ Alex asked, Kyle was still turned towards the door of the cabin. Buffy was laying near the fireplace, looking bored. At least she didn’t seem bothered.
‘Uh, the last few weeks?’ Kyle said. Why did every sentence seem to end in a question mark?
‘We have? Why was I not aware of this?’
‘Alex, we’ve been, like, going on dates for weeks. Since that dinner in Santa Fe?’ Kyle said, and Alex found himself thinking back. Kyle in really nice jeans and a black button up, sitting across from him in a restaurant, smiling at him in the candlelight. Shit. They had been dating, hadn’t they?
‘Oh my god, but- but- what about the-the’ he motioned vaguely between the two of them.
‘The sex?’ Kyle offered and Alex nodded, blush crawling up his neck. ‘I figured we were taking it slow.’ Kyle turned his body back towards Alex. He even looked nice tonight, he’d cooked Alex dinner because he was tired. He’d made Alex’s favourite. They’d gone to The Crashdown the other day. Alex had paid for both of them. It had felt natural and Kyle had squeezed his forearm in thanks.
‘Oh my god, we’ve been dating for weeks.’ Kyle actually laughed at the pure disbelieve in Alex’s voice. ‘How did I not notice this?’
‘Well, to be fair, I could have been more clear, I just figured-‘
‘We were on the same page, yeah I got that.’ Alex felt like his whole world had just sort of been picked up and then moved five degrees to the left. ‘I thought you were just being my friend.’
‘Well, I think that’s kind of what a relationship is supposed to be.’
‘Friends with benefits?’ Alex asked and Kyle rolled his eyes.
‘Not in the way you mean that.’ He stepped closer to Alex and he didn’t feel the need to back up or anything. ‘I like being around you, all the time. I like making you laugh and researching ridiculous alien theories and watching those stupid nerd movies with you. I like hanging out and taking Buffy for walks and maybe I want to kiss you, like all the time.’
‘You want to be around me all the time? I’m not great company.’
‘Yes you are.’
‘I’m not though.’
‘Yes you are.’ Kyle repeated more firmly, stepping forward and taking Alex’s hands in his. He had to look down just to make sure that was actually happening. Yep, there they were, Kyle’s hands holding his. ‘You’re smart as hell, you care so much, even when you shouldn’t and you’re funny and, well, nice to look at too.’
‘Are you saying I’m hot?’
‘I’m saying you’re smart, funny, caring and hot, yes.’
‘And you wanna kiss me?’ Alex asked, just to be sure.
‘All the time.’
‘I thought you were straight.’
‘I’m really not.’ Kyle assured him.
‘Okay.’
‘Okay?’
‘Yeah, okay.’ Alex found himself smiling. ‘Dating, you and me. Sure, why not?’
