Pick Up the Pieces || Everfierce
Nokas Everman 7:44 pm
The last time Nokas had seen Lady was briefly at the party the previous night and he just felt awkward seeing her at a distance and not being able to approach her. Above all he wanted to get some resolve with her over what had happened. He was sorry that he hurt her still and would do whatever he could to avoid anything happening to hurt her again. He was without a doubt nervous to see her and yet it was something he wanted. He wanted to talk things over and get a better resolve. To at the very least let her know he still wanted to be her friend. Hearing a knock at the door he looked to his puppy who just cocked his little head to Nokas as if to ask him what the sound was. "Don't look at me like that," he told the dog, knowing it wouldn't really understand him. Getting up, Nokas went to the door, his fingers resting on the doorknob before pulling it open and feeling a heavy lump in his throat, nerves in his stomach and his heart racing when he saw her. "Uhh...let's go upstairs," he told her with a gesture of his arm, wanting some real privacy and not knowing where Van was at the time or if she would show up in the home.
Lady Fierce 7:49 pm
Lady's breath got caught in her throat for a few seconds as soon as she heard the noise on the door and quickly looked up, facing him and gasping inevitably. However, there was also a genuine smile in her face because she was only too happy to be there. "Hi." She whispered, swallowing hard after she did and then merely nodding when he suggested going upstairs, following him into his room and looking around, letting out a content sigh as she had missed being in that place. "How are you?" She inquired almost instantly, her eyes now fixed on him with a slight look of curiosity mixed with clear nervousness, and she found herself eager to know the answer to that question.
Nokas Everman 7:54 pm
It wasn't until she was before him that he realized just how much he had missed having her around. While it did hurt, he was happy and thankful for her presance then. Scooping up the dog in his arms before they went upstairs, he let Thor trod on the carpet and closed the bedroom door. Again for privacy. "Please sit down," he directed, moving to sit on the bed himself before waiting for her to follow. "I'm -- I don't know how I am right now." He just didn't know how to answer her question in words.
Lady Fierce 8:01 pm
Lady only noticed Nokas was carrying the puppy in his arms until he left him onto the carpet, and she just smiled tenderly at them, thinking that was such a lovely image and making a mental note to take Thor into her arms later for a little while. Returning her attention back to him, she sighed quietly, because she knew exactly what he meant. "Well that's better than doing wrong, right? I..." She started, suddenly noticing her voice was really weak and shaking. "I just really wanted to see you again. Properly, not like last night at the party, you know..." She shrugged, taking a seat next to him and resisting the urge to hug him just yet. "I was afraid it would hurt too much, so much I would never be able to talk to you again but then I found out missing you hurt way more than-- than what happened. I started feeling better about the whole thing and I just wanted to see you, to-- to be with you again." She finished, at least by now, and after glancing at him she returned her look back to her still shaky hands.
Nokas Everman 8:13 pm
As much as Nokas knew he couldn't mend what had happened, he knew that he could speak and start trying to clear the air between them somewhat. He just had so much going through his mind that he wanted to get off his chest and didn't know where to begin. "I missed you too, but I didn't want to make you talk to me if you weren't ready because that wouldn't really help us...," he pauses, leaning to grab one of his pillows out of habit. To keep his attention span content. "I couldn't...I want you to know that I do care about you a lot, Lady. So much. And it hurt to know what I did because even I wasn't sure why I would have done that. It wasn't even for the reasons I thought. It's not because of feelings for Cherry, though. I don't have the feelings for her that I do for you. She's like...family to me. And since what happened to Jason she's the only one I had around who could understand what I was going through. We've gotten closer than we used to be at home, and that's what confused me. I wasn't used to that, but now I realized she's my best friend and it's hard to think of her as more than that. With you...no. I see you as the girl I fell for because she cares so much, was there to protect me even when you didn't realize it. That means a lot to me and I want you to know I take none of that for granted."
Lady Fierce 8:21 pm
Having this kind of conversation wouldn't be easy, but Lady already knew that even before coming over. She knew, however, she was ready for it and she didn't want to wait for longer so she just went for it before she could regret it. Listening to Nokas' words wasn't any easier either, because as much as she appreciated them it just made her remember it all and how it hurt. "I... Nokas, those are... exactly the words I wanted to hear. I wanted an explanation, a reason to why... because it just hurt too much thinking maybe it was just because you didn't like me as much as you liked her, you know? That I shouldn't have been surprised because I always knew my place wasn't the first one." As she talked, she had to blink two or three times really quickly in order not to start crying, because she just needed to let it all go but she didn't want him to have to deal with that. "That's why... that's why I'm really, honestly happy you told me this, and I trust you. I never stopped doing so... It's good knowing I was wrong and there was actually another reason." She pursed her lips together to contain a sigh, now being unable to look up at him. "I will never stop caring or protecting, though. No matter what happens." She muttered, fidgeting with her hands.
Nokas Everman 8:32 pm
Clenching his hands around the pillow when she spoke, he let her express what she had to say and use any emotion she needed to. If they were bringing things to the table and speaking he just wanted as much to get out as possible. To find some absolve and hearing her voice was already helping. "I -- I had a feeling you thought that way and I actually was scared that you thought I would always put her before you, but that's not the case. Not really. After seeing her so sad I was worried for her sake and at the same time was so happy to have you that...on that night my emotion just was jumbling. Fear and pleasure and worry...all of that just mixing in that moment because I was on a high and had it all pent up," he explains, still letting the words pour out. "To be truthful it would never be about me chooseing someone over the other that way. I care about you both a lot, but in entirely different ways and to put someone above someone else when they both mean so much to me just can't happen. She's my best friend and you are...you were my girlfriend. I wouldn't ever compare you two because you are different people and that wouldn't be fair. Sometimes I just wish I could be there to protect the people I care about always. I know I can't and that scares me sometimes. I wish so much that I could help Jason, but there's nothing to be done but hope he'll be okay. Sometimes you can't always protect people, but the idea that you want to be there for them no matter what...well...I would say that matters the most. "
Lady Fierce 8:45 pm
Lady listened to his words nodding from time to time, not saying anything nor looking at him yet but understanding every single word he said and trying not to be a mess right now because that's the last thing she needed. She found herself surprisingly hurt about his words, because it made her feel selfish the way she had always been thinking about how he should put someone first and the other second when obviously he didn't have to, and also because hearing she /was/ his girlfriend gave her so many feelings and brought her so many memories. "I just-- I understand. I completely understand, I... think you were just so hard on yourself all the time. Everybody was so hard with you, though, and I hate myself because I couldn't do much since it still hurt, you know? But I tried, I tried my best to protect you and keep them away from you even if it wasn't worth it." She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment and staring at his hands when she opened them again. Without much hesitation, Lady grabbed it and squeezed it lightly, her eyes now fixed there. "I think you're better than you give yourself credit to. People say that's a problem I usually have, and I'm not entirely sure that's true... but I hate seeing people who feel like that. I think you're good. Good enough for... for anyone. If anything, you are for me." As she finished talking, Lady looked up at him and met his eyes, sighing quietly as she did.
Nokas Everman 4:31 am
Letting her take his hands in her own, he squeezed back gently. The silent reminder that she was there, this was real and they were getting a chance to work things out to some degree. That's all that he could ask for and maybe more since part of him still felt that she reserved the right to be upset with him. Instead she had been worried about him, missing him and even standing up for him despite everything. " Lady, I was hard on myself maybe. But it was only because it hurt me to know that I had hurt you like that. Just -- you mean so much to me, honestly, I really do have all the same feelings for you. They haven't gone anywhere because I can't let go of them. You are the best thing that's happened to me since I've moved here, honestly." He tells her. "It makes me glad that our paths even crossed. I felt like I let you down and I still do because I was always so afraid to get hurt. Relationships scare me and you showed me that I don't have to fear them. At least not with you. I know you will not hurt me, but I'm sorry that I hurt you. You deserve to be happy because you are just so caring and wow adorable. I -- I can't picture being here in town without you." He cupped her cheek with his palm, running his thumb over her jaw and giving her a small smile to show his sincerity. There was a lot being said here, but he wanted to be sure it was understood.
Lady Fierce 6:06 pm
While listening to Nokas' words, she realized it was getting even harder to avoid crying. For once, however, they would be happy tears if anything, because the more he spoke the better it made her felt. She just needed it, needed him and it was just obvious now. Lady nodded every time he said a good thing about her, not only accepting them gratefully but also feeling exactly the same way about him. It was like he could get inside her mind: he meant so much to her, she still had the same feelings for him, and she thought he deserved to be happy as well. "I can't, either. It just-- it was killing me because you were too close but too far at the same time and I just need you. I'm not even ashamed when I say I do need you, I just... thank you." She merely said, quickly wiping up a couple tears that had inadvertently gone down her cheeks, then smiled widely to show him she was only too happy. "I'm going to hug you now, okay?" She added, then chuckled as she approached him and wrapped her arms around him, because she felt silly for almost asking him for permission to do it since she never needed to do it before.
Nokas Everman 6:21 pm
It was relieving for Nokas to finally speak with Lady, just having her there was enough to remind him how much he had missed her presance. He even laughed a bit. "I can't believe you are thanking me after all of this, you have funny priorities, but it's part of you and I just like everything about you," he told her, touching her neck and nodding when she told him she was going to hug him. He leaned in to meet her embrace and held her tight as though she might slip away if he didn't. "Now stop crying." He told her quietly, brushing his lips on the top of her head.
Lady Fierce 6:41 pm
Lady sighed on the hug, closing her eyes and holding him tight, not wanting to let him go just yet because it had been a while and she had obviously missed him. There was now a huge smile on her face as she felt like, for once, everything was in its right place in her life and she was really happy about that. Okay, she still knew if DJ -or anyone else in the town, actually- found out they were okay, everything would be a mess again; and she wasn't sure where they were right now either, but they would eventually learn how to deal with all that stuff. Together. "Sorry I just--" She laughed quietly, pulling away but still grabbing his hand. "I'm freaking emotional. I can't help myself." She shrugged as an apology. "I'm just really happy." She said, and her smile grew wider if possible
Nokas Everman 7:13 pm
"You're crazy," he told her with another short chuckle, rubbing his hand over her back, almost not wanting to break it for an instant. Instead he kept his arms around her. "Now that we're here though is there anything else you want to talk about? I don't want anything left hanging if we can talk about it here and now." He just didn't want to deley anything of importance.
Lady Fierce 7:58 pm
As he called her crazy, Lady couldn't help but beaming, finally looking up at him. She felt like she didn't want to be away from him, because being away from him again would kill her. "I don't think so. I just... I think the only thing I wanted to make sure was that we could still be in good terms, you know? So that's the important thing, I guess." She shrugged one shoulder. "Do /you/ want to talk about anything else?" She inquired this time. She felt like he did have something else to do, and she wanted to make it easy for him.
Nokas Everman 8:07 pm
Finally releasing from the hug he nodded slowly, still holding her hands, but looking into her eyes so that she could understand him completely. "We do need to talk about where we stand," he told her, licking his lips to moisten them. "I just don't think we should rush anything."
Lady Fierce 8:16 pm
Lady sighed quietly and pursed her lips together, nodding slowly because that was definitely a topic she'd had in mind, she just wasn't sure when the right moment was to bring it out. "Yeah, I... I guess you're right." She started, taking a few moments to think about what she wanted to say. "I know I still really like you so, so much and I'm well aware that's not going to change any soon, but I just... as I usually say, if it has to happen, it will, right? There's no need to do anything without knowing if we're ready." She frowned a little, hoping her words were alright and understood for him because, as much as she would kill to be with him again, she wasn't sure it was the best idea and now she had the feeling he wasn't, either.
Nokas Everman 8:30 pm
The only reason Nokas brought the topic up is because he didn't think it would be fair to either of them to be left hanging. He ran a hand through her hair absentmindedly. "I still care about you so much and I know that I'm scared of hurting you again...not that I will, not that I plan to, but it's hard for us to pretend it didn't happen," he speaks somewhat slowly trying to think of how to word things right so she would understand. "As much as I want to be with you again, I don't want to rush things and I don't like having this fear. Let's just take things as they go."
Lady Fierce 8:40 pm
As he spoke, as usual, Lady nodded, agreeing with every single one of the words he said. A part of her wished they could still be together but she knew they were reaching the best decision. "Yeah. I'm really happy we can agree on this." She said, smiling, then raised an eyebrow. "I say we still have sex whenever you're free, anyway." She chuckled.
Nokas Everman 8:42 pm
"Well that's a given," Nokas smirked at her last line. "And anytime that you just want to come over otherwise, the door is open. I mean we live next door so. Even just to take walks with Thor if you want." He just feels better getting everything out on the table so they didn't feel awkward anymore.
Lady Fierce 8:58 pm
Lady bit her lip amusedly and nodded, actually happy that he agreed because now she had fixed things with Nokas all she had in mind was hogging him once he was free. "Thank you for that, and know it's the same for you. Even though if you could just text before coming over I would make sure Leo doesn't bother us. You know he's... not really friendly towards you, so." She shrugged, pursing her lips. "And taking walks with you and Thor is something I've always wanted to do, so I definitely will." She smiled widely at him.
Nokas Everman 9:01 pm
Feeling as though he had brought up everything that he felt was nessessary, Nokas stood from the bed and fetched up the puppy off of the floor. "How about on of those right now?" He asked her. "I think it would be a good way to relax and we could just go to the park or something."
Lady Fierce 9:13 pm
She followed him with her look and smiled when he grabbed the puppy, her eyes widening as he suggested taking a walk now. "Sure, that sounds lovely to me." She replied happily and stood up. Without hesitation, she walked towards Nokas and kissed his cheek. "Let's go, then." Lady said before giggling and turning around to leave the room, now feeling happier and calmer than when she came in.