ladyredfields
[cracks knuckles] Let’s do this.
That is one thing I can never understand. I have a friend who’s mother wouldn’t let her cut her hair despite how much she wanted to cut it. Freshman year it was to her shoulders and now (5 years later) it’s a pixie cut. It took her years to convince her mom to let her cut her hair to the length she wanted it. I don’t understand that ??? Like it’s not on the parent’s head why should they care? If the child doesn’t like it then they have to deal with it. Yes, the child should be warned but the parent should let them figure it out for themselves and let them know that once it’s done it’s done and they have to let it grow out.
And I’ve known so many people who have a mental illness and say their parents tell them “It’s all in their head.” I don’t get it. I don’t understand. It literally is inside their head and it can be helped with proper treatment and nourishment. My mother has depression and anxiety. She saw the signs when I was younger and took me to a doctor and did everything she could to make it easier for me. Even now she worries because along with my depression (Which is fairly mild) my sister has severe depression with suicidal tendencies and we think she may have a personality disorder. When I said I was bi or at least told her I how I felt about Jess she didn’t shut me down. She didn’t tell me I was an abomination or that it was wrong. She tried to make me feel better because I was upset and made sure that I knew my feelings were valid. She’s always reminding me that how I feel is perfectly valid. What makes things wrong is how I act upon those feelings.
That’s what parenting is. It’s accepting and nurturing your child. If they want to be called a different name, call them by that name. If they want to wear a certain style of clothing, let them. It’s the child’s way of expressing themselves and it’s not fair or right for the parent to take that away from them.
No, you don’t have to love your mother. I know many people who don’t love their guardians/parents. And from what I’ve heard that she’s done I would find it hard to love her myself. “But she’s your mother!” Well my dad left me when I was 10. He just up and moved to North Carolina with little warning. He didn’t want to be a father when I was born. He left my mother emotionally unstable to care for her baby on her own. He tried to pry himself into my life uninvited then tried to put the blame on me for not letting him in. Should I still love him? He wasn’t there. He didn’t raise me. “But he’s your father!” No. He’s my sperm donor. I consider my step-father to be more of a dad than him. My step-father was with me my entire life. Took me to the hospital when I split my cheek open, scolded me when my grades fell, took me camping, held me when I was scared. I am his daughter. He’s cared for me, nurtured me, raised me even though I’m not his blood. Just because you share blood with someone doesn’t mean they’re family.
Your feelings are valid. Your anger is valid. No good parent should treat their child like that.
