#laesric

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Osric: Before you get any ideas, Laertes is mine.

Hamlet: Before you get any ideas I don’t care.

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

[Osric rushes in to meet Laertes]

Osric: Sir, I came as soon as you called!

Laertes: …Well that's really none of my business, but thanks for sharing.

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Osric: *looking at Hamlet, whispering to Laertes* Why is he so pale??

Hamlet: *stage whispering* He’s always this pale.

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Ophelia: How did Hamlet react when he found out you had sex with Osric?

Laertes: He was cool with it.

Ophelia:

Laertes:

Laertes: He threw a rock at me.

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Laertes: Uuuugh, Osric won’t leave me alone.

Ophelia: He probably thinks you’re playing hard to get. 

Laertes: Hard to get?? I’m playing leave me the fuck alone!

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Osric: Is it hot in here or is—

Laertes: It’s you. It’s fucking you. You’re literally laying on me. It’s like an oven down here. GET OFF ME!!

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Claudius: *loudly condescending*

Gertrude: *loudly offering fake sympathy*

Laertes: *loudly asking to go back to France*

Polonius: *louding monologuing to no one in particular*

Osric: *loudly talking about how great Laertes is*

Hamlet: *screaming, hands over his ears* COULD THE PRINCE OF DENMARK EXPRESS AN OPINION PLEASE?!

[the-mad-prince-of-denmark]

Laertes: *holding open the door* After you.

Hamlet: No, after you.

Laertes: I insist, after you!

Hamlet: Motherfucker, after yo-

Osric: *pushing past both of them* After me.