#lamb imagery

[elumi0]

josh washington, innocent lamb and biting wolf

[red-garden]

Jiggy is so eldest daughter coded and he would have a catholic guilt aesthetics board on pinterest.

[miscellaneousdrawings]

“so that’s how it ends (perpetual wip)” 2023 // acrylic on cardboard

i had a hard time being creative this year due to several pieces of my life falling out of place at once. i suspect it’s messed me up officially. i try every day to get strands of my old work/self/excitement/idea/colors back. in one way, i’ll never get it back. that’s ok. it was luck, it was a lot of guessing, and it was a stubbornness that kept me from learning to do/be/have anything else. painting was a series of mistakes i was continuously either encouraged or wounded by. something i stumbled into and skinned my knees on. in another way, though, stubbornness can only change when it hits the brick wall it built for itself. i am only just now getting (or, taking?) the opportunity to learn how to do everything correctly. to be creative correctly, on-purpose, with-intention. to be happy, by any of my actionable means necessary. to be alone and idle without itching to make something for the sole purpose of feeling that i was in company. im hoping that the next year will feel better, im hoping that hope will stay in my life as long as it takes to get back to somewhere level and unscary. anyway this is my last painting of the year and it’s unfinished and i like it that way. i’m learning to like it this way. ok the end