This thing I started to do arounf february, then I left it forgotten around april and now I finished its last 3 pages in less than 2 weeks... yep, is hard for me to find a space to do things ^^u
Tools used on it: 5H pencil for sketching, 6B pencil for shades and blur, varied kind of fineliners to trace it, Sharpies for black inking, white ink pen mostly for tracing lines on black, and golden ink pen.
Also, the song (that I cannot link for dear life thanks to Tumblr Dumblrness -_-") that inspired me to do this sum up of the game is Sadness Runs Through Him, by The Hoosiers. If you go and check it, I hope you like it as well! ^-^
(And this might be the most tentative design of the old man AKA Henry Stein, though it seems like I mostly hit the "old" part ñ-ñU)
Heya, @a-rae-of-sunshine!! See it didn’t took too long? ^3^ (Nope, this is Not my revenge. That will come with those things I asked you on DM)
But, I had the idea stuck, and there’s only one way to take ‘em off, so~
BTW, sorry. I have no idea how this ended as something upper than 3K words when I thought this wouldn’t take longer than 1.5K or so. I have no idea how do that happen .-.
Anyways, I still hope you enjoy this!!! ^O^
‘Alright, you can do this Bendy.’ The humanized demon thought, encouraging himself. This was it, this was the night. He couldn’t keep this hidden any longer.
Anyways, it’s not like James didn’t know. He did. He always did (much for the demon’s embarrassment), but he had never seen him like that– alright, bad analogy for the blind man. But still, the last time he was like this before him was when they were kids– or younger, for the demon’s standards; just short enough to pass like any other kid– and with a lot of cloth on him like coat, scarf, hat and rain boots to make him look like any other child around.
But now, both grown up, dating each other, deciding to take the big step and spend the night together, Bendy was becoming so nervous around him, fearing to simply doze out and return to that little demonic shape he really was all the while James would hug him, cuddle him, feeling him and that change of size, of shape, of texture... Bendy couldn’t fall asleep next to him; he hadn’t had a proper night sleep since then, and that was starting to take its toll during daytime.
He started to nod while in classes, about to fall asleep. Focus on whatever the teacher was saying became a harder task as days passed by. Somehow he was thankful of some of his classmates that would nudge him awake, but he had found himself in the end of the last class of the day, late at the evening, that he simply blacked out like a light, all alone, until at least James would appear around the door looking for him, waking him up with his sweet concerned voice– quick enough to turn back to be Ben before he could reach for him. Those accidents were turning more and more frequent, and it was a matter of time for him to be unable to react on time, giving away his façade of a normal human being in the middle of the class, in the middle of the campus.
He needed to sleep. He couldn’t keep like this any longer. Besides, it was James he was thinking about. He knew. He just had to show himself the way he already knew.
He took some more time to glance the image in front of him through the mirror, shifting back and forth between those two shapes he was known for; the average boy of pale skin and dark hair, and the one he was used to be called as ‘the little devil darling’. He was doing so, shifting back and forth, ignoring his tiredness and taking over all his differences as he hadn’t done in so long.
The height was the most notorious one; weren’t for him being stood on a stepstool he would barely see the top of his horns through the mirror. Although the upper half of his forehead was missing from view when in his human form on the stepstool.
And that place above him was another difference; where as human he had dark, soft hair that his boyfriend liked to playfully ruffle every once in a while, as a demon he had, well, demon horns; pointy, stiff, not fluffy like hair. And even though as a human he fixed it so it would resemble his natural horns, they were just not the same.
And his face, yeah, both forms resembled a pale tone proper of a paper-like skin, but the lack of ears, nose and neck, and such an unnatural wide grin were a stark contrast.
Even more, where his human face held two dark brown eyes behind some fluttering lids, as a demon he had... nothing, just two empty voids whose way to blink was by morphing what seemed to be a portion of his already flat face over those voids. It was hard to imagine James kissing him like this; what if he stuck his nose on one of his eyes? Well, at least he wouldn’t have to worry about his old friend snake to peep out of one of his sockets.
He tried to look for more differences more, but probably those were the biggest ones. His hands, he kept them four fingered and with his holes on them even as a human, and he always held hands with James, as much as to communicate with each other as for the pure pleasure of holding him. He never seemed fazed by such strange sensation. Then why was he thinking this so much?
He turned once again into his bean-shaped self, ready to go with him and... Nope, back to Ben. He couldn’t!
...Alright, maybe... maybe he’d show as Ben and then would turn into Bendy. Yeah, that... that sounded... fine. Yeah, fine...
Last glance to the human in front of the mirror. He could do it.
Out of the bathroom and into the living room, he saw James as he was sitting on the couch, listening to the radio that played soft music before the radio theater transmission would start as every Friday at night. A soft smile drew on Ben’s face as he contemplated his boyfriend, tapping his fingers, bobbing his head, swaying with the music. Though his smile quickly turned into a frown as he thought once again in what he was about to... do? No. He was going to do it. No turning back. He needed to rest.
A deep breath through his nostrils, filling what he could fill of lungs, and then a deep sigh, that gave away a slight whistle through his lips.
“Ben? Is that you?” James called for him. Dammit! He forgot how sensitive his earing was. Slightly froze in the spot, Bendy tried to calm his nerves before giving away and affirmative whistle and walk towards his boyfriend. “What took you so long? Getting ready for the night? You didn’t need to prepare so much.” The blind man said jokingly, though it wasn’t too far from the truth.
Bendy moved to turn off the radio before sitting next to him on the couch.
“Ben, you alright? Something happened?” James inquired as the demon in disguise gently held both his hands, placing them behind his own, getting ready to talk.
[ACTUALLY I NEED TO TALK WITH YOU.] He started, fixing his gaze upon the floor instead his boyfriend’s face. It was hard to admit it all, even if he mentally prepared himself over and over, but he had to before reaching his worst limit. [YOU KNOW... THESE PAST DAYS HAS BEEN REALLY AMAZING, BEING ABLE TO BE WITH YOU AND ALL. BUT...] He paused, seeing James shifting in his place, his attention entirely over his words. [GOT TO BE HONEST WITH YOU. I HAVEN’T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP WELL LATELY.]
Silence stretched for a little longer as Bendy lowered their hands, watching the stern features of the one before him, meditative? Disappointed?
“Ben, if you felt uncomfortable you could have just told me before. We don’t have to be–”
[NO! IT’S NOT THAT! I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!] Bendy gestured maybe a bit too abruptly as he caught James a bit shaken by his interruption, to what he shied back, holding their hands together and close to his chest before continuing. [I MEAN... I WANT TO FIX THIS, BEING ABLE TO SLEEP WITH YOU AND NOT...] He froze in middle of the air, slowly lowering his hands again as he wasn’t able to think in a proper way to continue.
“...’Not’ what?” James pushed after a while, furrowing his brows.
And Bendy looked at him. Looked those soft features his face held. Looked the concern he showed, heard the softness of his voice, felt the gentle strength of his grip. He felt so safe just by being next to him, but not entirely. He needed to change that, that’s what he was preparing for.
[JAMES... YOU KNOW I’M NOT... ENTIRELY... HUMAN...]
“Yeah, you’re not human at all. What with that? I thought we already went through that.” He answered nonchalantly, and Bendy couldn’t tell if that made it easier or harder to get to the point.
[YES, I KNOW. BUT... EVERYTIME I GO TO SLEEP, I CAN’T HOLD MY... MY HUMAN FORM. AND I REALLY DON’T KNOW HOW WOULD YOU REACT IF YOU... FIND ME... AS I REALLY AM...]
Again, silence filled their space as James pondered over these words, confused though not by their meaning, yet by how that could affect him that bad.
“Ben, I don’t get you. I’ve felt you changing before, why this is different?”
[IT IS.] Bendy kept going, trying his best to go on with as much calm as possible, though James probably was aware of the tremble in his hands. [ALL THESE OTHER TIMES, I KEPT BEING HUMAN-LIKE, NEVER CHANGED TOO MUCH.] He paused, taking a deep breath as he dared to stare right into his face. A meditative flutter of his eyelids turned to take a few seconds longer than it should; sweet Lord! If he wasn’t able to say so, he’d doze out before he could explain!
“Ben? You there?” James called him; even if he tried to lighten the tension on him he wasn’t entirely able to take apart the concern in his tone.
Bendy shook vigorously his head. He had to do it! He had to...
...But how?
[DO... YOU REMEMBER... HOW I WAS WHEN... WE PLAYED IN THE PARK... AS KIDS?] He asked slowly, slumber already taking his low energies away. The sole thing that kept him aware enough was the voice of the larger man whose hands were keeping his up in their grasp; voice that he... actually didn’t quite made the words, so quicker than he could thought let out a questioning whistle.
“I said I do.” He repeated with a little exasperated laughter; it was too obvious the lack of sleep at this stage. “I remember you, but honestly it wasn’t as I had much chance to feel how you were back then, if that’s what you mean.”
Wow, pretty nice way to go for an introduction, considering he really had no comparison point as he hoped. Oh, well, it was taking too much for the official reveal; the less he wanted was to collapse before he’d get to the point.
[WELL THEN... I GUESS YOU NOW WILL FEEL ME AS I WAS BACK THEN... AS I STILL AM...] He finished his statement, releasing his hands and preparing to shift once again as the devil he really was.
The ink in, on and around himself started to morph; his face losing its remarkable features as his body reduced in size, leaving a bean-shaped frame which only worn accessories were some black boots, gloves and a bowtie resting right below his neck wasn’t anymore. All under the now blanket-like garments he was wearing as human, which he had to take off him, dropping them next to him by the floor.
And as if a heavy burden was taken off the demon’s shoulders, releasing the form he struggled so hard to maintain in public actually made him look more rested, even if was just a little.
Although during such transformation, all James could do was to gap his mouth repeatedly as he shook a little his pinkie inside his ear. Yet the size change must have been notorious– though not as Bendy expected, as the weight shift next to the blind man left him with a puzzled demeanor.
“Ben, did you... move somewhere?” He asked around, swaying his head from side to side, unsure of where to focus. Confusion that didn’t go unnoticed by the devil next to him, though the first thing he could manage to do was to shake a little his shoulders, releasing a quiet wheeze of a giggle that indeed helped the other to find his location. “There you ar–... Ben?” His regained confidence plummeted once again, for when he reached forward to sense his partner, only air was there to greet him. “Ben?” He called once again, moving his arm unknowingly above the demon, patting around with no results. “Ben, where’d you go?”
The confusion and near worriedness drawn all by the Cohen’s face was a real show for the little demon– though his tiredness didn’t allow him to react in some another way than pure amusement. But it was being too much, he didn’t really want to scare him anyhow.
Gathering his last bits of energy, he lifted his arms, grabbing in middle air his waving hand and leading it in front of his low statured body, close to his heart, helping so his other hand to find with both the back of his.
[I’M HERE.] Bendy signed, taking on the tender confusion his partner showed from feeling his signing so low and short on movements, unable to help but projecting a wholehearted yet tired smile only for him. [I’M HERE.] Repeated, as now he held securely his hands and guided them to his face, allowing him to take on all his features– or the lack of them.
And James did, with gentle hands, trace all he could find of him; hands opened like a fan, he slid up and down, feeling the flat roundness and size of his head, up to his horns and the crescent moon-like space between them, and down from his sides and head back to his neck...less chin. A questioning hum escaped from his throat, yet all Bendy could respond was a little whistle and a shaking shrug, shoulders meeting with the back of his hands in the act, and James smiled with no more questioning, just exploring more.
He reached back up, now were his thumbs turn to feel. Cautiously he traced, feeling the edges of his round smile, and then upper, meeting a slightly sharper rim with nothing inside. He abstained of manifesting his doubts, yet the feeling of something overlaying those spaces, leaving only a couple of curve lines, gave him the clue to what he was feeling. He kept tracing those lines until his thumbs met in the middle of the place, feeling nothing else in the convergence of the three found features.
Yet he descended, finding again the space where a neck should be, and carefully turning and lowering his hands, seeking for the rest of him. His wrists tickled with the texture of his bowtie, and couldn’t help but brushing it a little with his thumbs. He kept going, finding again his shoulders and sliding down from there the short track his arms made, right to his hands and lacing his fingers, even if just for a bit; they still were the same hands after all.
He returned up, though now from below his arms to get back to his body. A little shake caught him off guard, but it was accompanied by a soft wheeze, giving away the ticklish nature of the devil. A smirk crossed James face, but nothing more than a flash before continuing his course. He practically could engulf him entirely with his hands, feeling how the tip of his fingers met in his back while he sensed the proximity of his thumbs in the front.
He kept going lower, yet as with his arms, the trail was a short one; two and a quarter of what his hands entirely extended were was all it took before reaching the beginning of his legs. James laid his hands on top, and two fingers below was his knee bent. Bendy had to move a little to unfold his legs, stretching them between them and adjusting a tad back so he could fit the entire length for James to feel, and feel he did. With a light hold of his limb, so thin, so noodlely, he kept going more and more down, yet as before was a short track, finding the brim of some sort of foot garments, boots more likely.
He reached bottom, and with so, he held his hand wide open, laying his thumb at the top of Bendy’s toes and his pinkie in the middle of his leg. Holding in spot his pinkie, he reached it with his thumb before laying it where the pinkie was and taking the latter further up by his body. James repeated this a few more times, passing by the devil’s chest, mouth and until the top of his horns. And after that, he slid his hand down once again, feeling his shoulder and reaching up to his hand, cupping it between both of his.
And silence settled in. May be reflexive, may be from the shock, or simply to just let it all sink in. But silence took place on and around them both, nearly deafening the devil from the numbness and relaxation of all that caressing he received of the man next to him while he met his real form. And now, Bendy was simply too tired to really care; he felt at peace, safe even, and the warmth the man’s hands conveyed to his only made him feel more... cozy... maybe he could take a real rest now–
A slightly forceful trembling on his hand snapped the demon out of his cotton thoughts. With concern and a shot of adrenaline he darted his sockets to his boyfriend’s face, only to find it... constricted? Was he... retaining a laughter?
“Oh my god, Ben! I can’t!” James burst with a cackle, a delightful one actually, right as he yanked the little one close to him to strangle his whole body in a tight hug. “Ha ha! Oh, Ben! You’re so small!” He kept cackling, snugging the tiny frame with so much eagerness. “Ha ha ha! I’m gonna– Ha!– Eh, I’m– I’m gonna have to be careful not to step on you!”
His hyped demeanor kept for a while as the laughter receded slowly, and Bendy’s chest honestly burst with so much warmth and joy. He almost felt ashamed for overthinking it way too much earlier; he was thinking of James, after all. He felt so safe, so warm, so... cozy... so marveled by the man who decided to be with him regardless his demonic nature. No place for doubts as to why he felt that way close to him.
Yet that line of thoughts came to a halt when a chiming sound from the hall invaded the space, silencing even James’ subsiding giggles. 10 o’clock was what the chimes announced, and James shifter around with realization.
“Oh, my, it’s time!” He chirped as he stretched to reach the radio, turning it on again and finding the broadcaster introducing what was going to be the show for the night.
After making sure it was well tuned, James retook his place on the couch, fitting his back on the corner and sprawling his legs along it, as he picked up the little bean of a boyfriend, fitting him between his side and the back of the couch, wrapping his shoulders with his arm, side-hugging him so when it bent he could reach and lace the devil’s fingers with his.
And as much as James seemed expectant and ready for the night’s show, Bendy just made sure of getting as comfortable as possible. His unlaced had went across reaching for the man’s chest, right under his own head, feeling the soft rising of his chest and the warmth it emanated, even being lulled by his heartbeats. He made his way deeper in the arm’s crouch, pulling a bit his laced hand so he could blanket himself with his couple’s arm, and slowing his own breaths, he let himself drift away in the comfort of whom he dearest most.
“You ready for this Ben– Ben?” He trailed off the moment he felt some soft low whistles escaping the devil’s tongue, so quiet that couldn’t be taken as anything other than from a sleepy little bean. His initial confused appearance quickly changed by one softer and tender, reclining him a bit so he could press a kiss in the devil’s forehead, feeling him snuggle down even more in his slumber and comfort, as he tried to disturb him the less possible, lowering the radio volume before he returned to his quietest position.
I already established that I'll be delivering these things off order and out of place, but I'm still with the purpose of ending before september, so I'm still on the race!!
And yeah. I had stuck this thing since january actually, but just now I dedicated a little to actually do it x3 Yeah, the gag was meant to be~
"Even if he has a heart of gold, would you trust a demon?"
And who this handsome guy must be? Unless you're aquainted with this marvelous AU, full of magic, mystery, shenanigans and a lot, A Lot of bromance, named Inky Eyes, Golden Heart, then whAT THE FRIDGE ARE YOU DOING HERE?!?! GO THERE AND READ IT!!
READ!!! IIIIIIIT!!!!!!!
Ok, enough rant x3
This AU was created by the brilliant and explosive mind of the sweet @star-going-supernova, and yes, it is my favorite AU, one that I go back once in a while because of all that I already said.
And this, everybody, is Henry. The demon that decided the Earth was beautiful and worth to be loved even if that meant sacrifice his own existence (not eating a single soul) in order to live and love the Earth, humans and life itself.
I'm not too good at coloring (I rather shade than color), but the description of this sweet, lovable demon was so colorful that couldn't be otherwise. So, come and enjoy some crappy technique on painting, still is my favorite AU and I was in debt with some sort of tribute to this precious story.
For the ones interested, most of the story is on AO3 under that name. Though you my also like to visit their blog since there's a lot of lore and side-stories that aren't anywhere else (like the bagel incident or the cursed dolls~).
And actually, I could keep rambling about this on and on and on... so better I left it 'til here ^^u
I have quite a lot of people struggling in some way our another as much in here as out there in my other media, so I wanted to give them all this little voice gift.
I know it's not much, but I always find power in the music, and This song particularly is one of the deepest and strongest I can think whenever I'm struggling somehow.
Kash, Beasty, Zephyr, Jaden, V-Man from Twitter, this goes for you. I really love you guys~
And from here, I don't wanna start invading you with so many tags but anyways...
...and just to Anyone and Everyone!! I just want to give you a gift of hope, of reassuring, of companny. To let you know you're never alone, and doesn't matter if your struggles are so big to cope with or so little that you put them aside for the time being; struggle Is struggle, and are as valid of attention as You are.
You are precious. You are valid. You matter. And this horribly beautiful world wouldn't be the same without you.
I love you all.
I'm here for you~
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
(P.S.- if you hear some bells chimming is that Simon usually gets too affective whenever I sing and I had to keep him away from the keyboard ^^U)
