LapTrap Tries to Drive (Part 2)
(The car speeds down the road)
LapTrap: AAAAHHH! OK, don't panic! Maybe I can talk to the car's computer.
(He "dials" the car's computer. The process makes a noise similar to an old dial up modem)
LapTrap (anxiously): Come on, come on…
(He makes the connection)
LapTrap: AHA! There we go!
(The car's computer comes online, speaking in a voice similar to George Takei)
LapTrap: Hey! Can you do me a favour and apply the brakes? (anxiously) The car is going too fast.
Car Computer: Course laid in, captain.
(The brakes don't kick in until the last minute, causing LapTrap to hit a mailbox!)
LapTrap: What the fuck?! Why'd you wait until the last minute to apply the brakes?!
Car Computer: Don't look at me, I'm not the one who drives like I'm from Jersey.
LapTrap (getting a little angry): Jersey? JERSEY!?!!? You think I'm from Jersey?! I happen to be from Silicon Valley, my good sir! (calming down - if only just) Now, let's back out of what's left of the mailbox.
Car Computer: Splendid! Warp speed ahead, oh brave leader.
(The car continues driving backwards and on the sidewalk, but away from the mailbox. People scarper out of the way)
LapTrap (in a state of complete and utter panic): OH MY GOD, WE'RE GOING BACKWARDS!!!!! Computer, turn right!
LapTrap: NO! Your other right! GAAAAHHH!!!
(The car finally goes right, but is still going in reverse and still on the sidewalk. Again people run away.)
LapTrap: Excuse me, but we are not on the planet where people drive on sidewalks.
Car Computer: Oh, dreadfully sorry, sir.
(The car finally gets off the sidewalk and makes two turns…onto an on ramp for the highway)
