I shuffled around the living room with the ring in my back pocket and it was almost Lydia's and she was almost going to be my fiancee which would mean she was almost going to be my wife and I shouldn't have been this nervous despite my talk with Miles.
He'd told me that there was no way she could say no; that there was no one else to say yes to, yet there was still the knot in my stomach that she'd been keeping something from me all this time. Although we weren't still in Candor, she wouldn't lie to me, right? I would hope she wouldn't. I couldn't remember a time she'd lied to me, and she'd better not start now.
The sound of the door opening snapped me out of my trance and I stopped pacing in an instant, wiping my already sweaty palms on my jeans. Miles had told me to just breathe, but every nerve in my body was wired with adrenaline.
"Lydia. There's something I wanted to ask you."
"Ask me?" she questioned, dropping her bag on the floor and the keys into the dish on the table beside the door. "Like what's for dinner? I was thinking pizza, because, quite frankly, I'm way too tired to cook," she huffed, plopping herself on the sofa. "Unless you'd like to cook, then I'm fine with that, too," she added, patting the space next her for me to sit.
I shook my head with a shaky laugh, finding myself beside her as she'd requested. "No, not dinner, but yes, I can cook. However, pizza does sound nice..." I trailed off, clearing my throat. "It was something more serious than dinner." I slid my hand into hers as my elbow found the top of the sofa for my cheek to rest on.
"Oh?" Lydia asked, and she looked surprised as I brought up the topic. We'd never spoken about our future, but since we were old enough now and I'd gotten her parents' blessings, they'd told me it was about time I brought up our inevitable marriage. "So we're going to talk about dinner for the entire week, then?" she grinned, intertwining our fingers.
Shaking my head again, I bit my lip in fear of giving myself away too early, but the warmth of my cheeks had already done that for me. "No, not that either. More like...dinner for the rest of our lives. Except, not really," I shrugged. "Just...hear me out, okay? Don't say anything until I tell you to, even though I know it's going to be hard because you like to add in your input on everything, which is what I love about you, but just...hold back for now, okay?"
"Okay," Lydia replied with a reluctant nod, leaving me to talk. I took a deep breath, just as Miles had told me to, and decided to trash the speech I'd planned out in my head before she'd gotten home. She'd know it was scripted; she knew me too well.
The words refused to spill as I began, but I heard Miles saying that she couldn't turn me down and mustered up the courage to start. "Lydia Marie Brant, I cannot put into words how much I love you. I mean, yes, I can say the four-letter-word as many times as I want to, but does that measly little word really do it justice? Probably not. Actually, no, it doesn't. I can go on for days or months or years with the same phrase, but, even then, it still won't express how much I really do love you. I don't think anything can, actually," I rambled, pausing to catch my breath before going on.
"Where do I even begin with you?" I wondered aloud. "Right. When you practically saved my life when we were kids because I was such a coward--"
"You were not a coward," Lydia added, cutting me off.
"No interrupting. And yes, I was. I was letting those kids verbally abuse me, and then there was you to save the day. I was your damsel in distress," I chuckled. "But you always saved me, no matter what, and then we were drafted for those damn Games and thought we died but didn't, and I think that was the best thing that's ever happened to me, to be honest. I met so many amazing people, and it made me realize that I have to act on my feelings instead of waiting forever to, and, so, I've decided to do that now." I slid off the sofa and onto the floor, positioning myself to kneel before her with a smile I couldn't suppress.
I looked up towards Lydia, whose expression matched mine as her cheeks glowed a bright pink. "I know it's been awhile since that all ended, but I feel like the time is finally right to ask you what I've been meaning to. I'd also like to let you know that this gave me a lot of anxiety and that I talked to Miles before you because I was so nervous, but I think I'm good now," I grinned, forcing the tears down as my hand reached for my back pocket.
Holding the box in my hand behind my back, I swallowed before asking her the question I'd been meaning to for years. "So, um...Lydia. Right. Uh...oh, God. This is hard. Ignore me, okay? I'm just going to spit it out." I opened the box and held it out in front of her, "Willyoumarryme?" I asked quickly, shutting my eyes in fear.
It was a mix of a laugh and a choked sob out of Lydia's mouth, but my eyes found their way open to find her nodding. "Of course I will," she said, wiping the tears from her eyes as she leaned down to kiss me. "Yes. A thousand times, yes."
Taking the ring out of its box, I slid it onto her finger with my shaky hand and held her tightly as I pulled her down to the floor with me. She was mine, forever, and that was the way it was meant to be all along.
