Dec 23, 2019
POE IS GAY YOU IDIOTS
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POE IS GAY YOU IDIOTS
I should be happy.
I really should stop depending on someone to make me happy. I should be happy just for the sake of seeing myself smile and laugh again. I should be happy because there are a lot of things to be thankful for. I am surrounded by wonderful people. I should be happy because I have the privilege to be living this life. As long as there's food on my plate and a house to live in, I should be smiling. I should be happy because I deserve to be. Everything else will fall into place.
Today was a great day. So I go to bed all calm. I really appreciate the people that I am surrounded by. I'm blessed to have real friends who will stay by your side no matter what. I really have nothing to say tonight.
...I was a happy rock today.
Do you know how much it fucking hurts to pretend to be happy for you? To act like I'm liking this girl you chose over me? My heart hurts with every word you say about her. It hurts so much to know that you only and will only always see me as a friend....but what can I do? I can't help but support you. If she makes you happy, then I have no right to interfere. I just hope that one day you'll realize that I was here all along, by the time that happens though....someone might have already taken your place.
I never really knew why or how we started falling apart, all I know is....that we didn't end up happy in the end. I miss you, I wish I could tell you that...
I wonder if you would feel any pain to know you hurt the person you said you never would.