#laughingtilithurts

[die-rosse]

Saturday 14/09/2019

I had one of the best MeetUps ever! A Cartoon Pub Crawl!!

Everyone was dressed up and it was hilarious! We had a lot of fun. Thanks to our costumes we even got into Rainbow Vomit - an interactive art exhibition - for free.

Can you guess all of the characters? (I was Kim Possible!)

We ended our night at our favorite midnight snack place Angry Dog.

I can’t believe I have to leave them in only a few weeks... I’m so happy I have this amazing memory to hold onto.

[laughingtilithurts]

Dear Mia,

When a boy calls you and tells you he’s waiting outside, it is not going to be romantic. He will not have a boombox for you with sweet songs to dance to. He will not have a dozen roses and chocolates. He will only have his jeep and his horn. There will not be road signs warning of cautious behavior. There will not be a police officer with a siren and lights. All you have is your chest. Listen for the pangs of uncertainty. Listen for the quick snap of red flags. When you ask your Momma if you can go with him, and she asks you if you trust him, the answer will be no. 

Mia, I will love you if you choose to get in the car or not. I will love you when you get home. Know that when I hear the shower running for an hour, Momma will know that you’ve been trying to scrub his fingerprints off of your skin. Momma will notice when your eyelashes thin from too many wishes to rewind your past. Momma will be there to help you bleach his smell out of your hair if you want.

I promise show you my battle wounds -- I have them too. They are no secret. Mine may be much more healed than yours, but I assure you they hurt. I will lend you my armor -- I don’t need it anymore. 

Mia, your Momma will be here for you. Take my hand, I’ll spread my fingers wide for your grasp. She understands more than you think she does. 

[laughingtilithurts]

I'm such a fucking bother.

[laughingtilithurts]

I'm depressed.

[laughingtilithurts]

Note to self: Zoloft makes you sick.

[laughingtilithurts]

Just took my first dose of anti-depressants this morning. Here's to hope of better days.

[laughingtilithurts]

I’ve been missing James a lot. But I put some of his deodorant on my wrists, like he does for me when I have bad mornings, and it makes me feel so safe. His smell is with me and I can feel at home. So many happy memories come with the smell of his deodorant, and it’s enough to get me through the night. Thank you, James. I love you. Stay safe.

[laughingtilithurts]