#lavvyjack rambles

[lavvythejackalope]

Mouthwashing hit me like a ton of bricks, and I think I've figured out why. I identify with Captain Curly a lot. His faults are my faults, his hell my hell. Trying to be good and trying to lead well is all fine and good, but there comes a point where hard decisions must be made, quickly, particularly in a position of leadership. Curly's failure to set a hard line with someone he cared about meant his failure as a captain and allowed the rest of the events to occur, and afterwards he is severely disabled, in constant pain, and unable to do anything more to intervene in the horror that unfolds. He didn't cause Jimmy to take the actions he did, but it was his job to prevent them, as Captain. He failed. And that failure doomed them all.

I think there is also something to be said for the inherent horror of playing a game wanting to save a character, but only being able to interact with them via the hands of their abuser. It's a more meta type of horror, I suppose, but I think it's part of the ultimate intent, and something that fascinates me in video games in general, this relationship between the player and the story.

Mouthwashing haunts me because I love and empathize with Curly, even more understanding his faults, but I can only hurt him.

Anyhow Wrong Organ did a fantastic job on every aspect of this game, I hope they continue making compelling stories like this. It brings joy to my haunted heart.

[lavvythejackalope]

Pg73

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Looks like the feelings caught up

[lavvythejackalope]

Absolute favorite thing is logging on to 99+ notifications that are all one excited bean leaving a like on every single page of The Desert Spring as they read through. Y'all are watering this thirsty plant keep it up

[lavvythejackalope]

New Page When?

Howdy y’all, specifically the folks who follow me for my Trigun fancomic! I was hoping to have the new page up today but honestly I’m not even close to finished. Some irl stuff has come up and my output on this comic may slow up for a while. Rather than pushing myself to maintain the once a week uploads, I’m going to give myself some breathing room while I adjust. I’ll upload the new page once it’s finished, whenever that may be (hopefully soon!) I’m very proud of myself for doing a page a week for a whole year, but I think the time for that has passed. I’ll keep working on the comic, because I love it a lot, it may just be a little more sporadic for a while.

Thanks SO SO SO SO MUCH TO EVERYONE WHO HAS BEEN ENJOYING TRIGUN: THE DESERT SPRING! Truly every like, comment, and reblog has meant the world to me and I’m thrilled you’ve been enjoying it. I hope you’ll continue to enjoy it at the slightly slower pace.

Hopefully once I’m settled into this new normal I can get back to a reliable schedule with it.

[lavvythejackalope]

Today I feel like sharing a story.

When I was younger I worked as a tour guide driving a horse drawn carriage in my historic downtown neighborhood. I loved this job, as I got to work outside and meet interesting people from all over.

One quiet evening, a fellow and his two young sons came up to me, all dressed up in their sports gear, and asked for a ride. I gladly obliged, and came to learn that the father had bought tickets to go see a basketball game that night.

But he'd accidentally gotten tickets for that night... In a completely different city.

This man must have been out a decent wad of cash for three tickets that they were completely unable to use. It would have been completely understandable for him and his boys to be upset and angry and complain. But this absolute gem of a man refused that call.

Instead he insisted on taking a ride and having a good time downtown that night instead of wallowing. I was absolutely in awe of him as he led his sons and helped them have fun in spite of the disappointment.

And it worked!

The three of them had a wonderful time riding around and seeing the sights with me, and I had a wonderful time chatting with them. All three were absolutely lovely people and I think about them still years later. I think about the sort of people he was teaching his kids to be and my heart fills up with hope for humanity. Wherever they are now I wish them all well.

[lavvythejackalope]

Megamind Commentary

The announcement of the new Megamind sequel got me thinking again about one of my favorite superhero trope movies. The sequel itself looks like trash, which is very tragic, but not really what I'm on about at this moment.

I love Megamind, I love a lot of things about it. But what's interesting to me is Tighten as a 'Twist Villain.' I've seen commentaries about what a surprise it was that Hal became the primary antagonist of the film... pretty strictly from amab creators. I wondered if it was really that surprising, however, to afab viewers like myself. I'm not the type to pick up on story beats quickly. I usually need a couple watches to really fully comprehend the intentions in a film.

I never thought Hal was going to be anything but trouble. As soon as he got Metromans powers I knew it was only a matter of time. To me, who, again, tends to be slow on the uptake, this was not a twist. It was an inevitability. And I guess this leads me to wonder if other afab people also got that impression right off the bat?

I have no doubt that MANY, if not most, afab people recognized the warning signs from the very first scene that Hal appears in. Hell, the very first lines we get from his character display two things,

A) He doesn't ACTUALLY like Roxanne. She finishes reading the lines that SHE WROTE for the Metroman celebration, her earnest true feelings on the matter, and Hal immediately derides it.

B) That is UNTIL Roxy corrects him that no, SHE wrote that, and he immediately backpedals, displaying how disingenuous he is.

That is literally the very first thing we see of him. I think anyone who has had to live for a week in our society as a person perceived to be femme would recognize Hal as a dangerous type of person from this interaction alone. But maybe I'm wrong? I'm just shocked at how many people seemed to be very genuinely surprised that Hal turned out to be the real villain. Was it clear to anyone else that he was a bad egg from the get go?? Or am I just outta my head? I'd actually really love to hear some other perspectives on this.

Anyhow thank you for comin to my TED talk.

[lavvythejackalope]

”You’re so beautiful.”

“You really think so? Even like this?”

“Of course.”

[lavvythejackalope]

The people growing my food aren't being paid enough to live.

The people preparing my food aren't being paid enough to live.

The people serving my food aren't being paid enough to live.

The people providing my healthcare aren't being paid enough to live.

The people saving my life on the streets aren't being paid enough to live.

The people teaching my children aren't being paid enough to live.

The people building my homes aren't being paid enough to live.

The people building and maintaining my roads aren't being paid enough to live.

The people making my clothes aren't being paid enough to live.

The people building the products I use aren't being paid enough to live.

The people doing the good I want to see in the world - ensuring other humans have clothing, food, and basic human dignity are often not paid at all, or are even outright punished.

So tell me again who this system is meant to serve.