There is just something about the eldest daughter that makes us fear her, respect her, and hate her as we grow up. We may all have our own perspectives of how an eldest daughter looks—she is responsible, independent, and dependable.
She was forced to grow up quicker and even if we have older sisters or not, we have an idea how women who are the eldest daughters of their families differ from those who are not part of this oddly specific classification of women.
A reflective mirror
As mentioned by an article written by Dara Winley, PHD., eldest daughters are more subjected to family pressure. This is because of the trials and errors that happened during their parents’ first steps into parenting.
Eldest daughters are presumed to mirror their mothers, to nurture their younger siblings and serve as a role model to them. They are more likely to be overachievers in academics as well as shouldering more responsibilities than most.
From maintaining high grades, helping around the house, and keeping the entire family in check, they just need to be in line more than the rest of their siblings. These responsibilities grow the bigger the family is, with that, they grow independent and often do not seek other people’s help because of the way they have been raised.
The family is in demand of their support, particularly in a dysfunctional setting. The eldest daughter's role is to undertake emotional, financial, or logistical support. They must provide, else, the household will fall apart, and it cannot be an option when there are children involved.
Why not sons?
Though on a similar boat, sons are not held and treated the same way as daughters. The reasoning for this is their gender and the roles attached to them.
Society’s assigned gender roles typically state that men are providers and women are caretakers. Even as time has passed and practices have evolved, some parts of the world still prefer their women to be traditional.
Daughters are appointed rather than sons because they are presumed going to become mothers once they marry and have children of their own.
Misogyny is still rampant, men and even women can be misogynistic. A lot of people are still quite conservative, wanting their women to stay at home and watch over their families as the men work to bring home money and fulfill financial obligations.
Eldest Daughter Syndrome
The eldest daughter syndrome is quite a new term coined from social media—from Twitter and TikTok which relates to the effect of being the eldest daughter in a family setting.
This so-called “syndrome” suggests that eldest daughters are most likely perfectionists, hyper independent, have an excessive need to be in control, and have a higher self-esteem than most women.
These women are also found to set their own priorities and desires aside for the sake of other people. They have bad and good sides, but it is best to keep them regulated as it can get out of hand, mental issues can arise and harm their health as it goes along.
However, as much as it can provide some benefits, it is best to not subject future daughters to such pressures and burdens. Many young girls must sacrifice part of their childhoods to fulfill such a role.
Parents must also pay attention to how the eldest daughter is constantly doing her best for their family. It is not easy to give up a portion of your childhood to be a guide to your family, it is a sacrifice that is worth recognizing. Being the eldest daughter is tiring, responsibilities and burdens never seem to end, that’s why parents should never forget about their first-born daughters.
