Mary Jane's Last Dance
This song reminds me of losing my innocence -middle school- the fleshy coma of my first break up, my first round of tearing myself into tiny bits to learn to rebuild-
This song reminds me of first finding solace in nylon strings, opened in the hours of solitude after school before my parents would come home, where I would come to know myself in all my exposed rawness, pain and joy-
This song reminds me of my Grandpa Francis, cedar wood burning in a fireplace in Northern Idaho, trips to the hardware store and for huckleberry or moosetrack ice cream-
This song reminds me of Morgan, my best friend from high school, her pursed-lip guitar playing face, car rides through Spokane & Nine Mile & Suncrest listening to Tom Petty & Jimi & Sublime, and late nights lying on fringe carpet in one of our rooms, music still going deep into the night, as we would try our best to tell each other everything was alright-
And now I think this song might be embedded with memories of a phase ending~ of leaving my college town, college community, sea breeze breaths, to find expansion in solo expeditions-
Of this house on top of a hill, with the orange kitty, where I sit in the bird watching chair writing poetry about cherry blossoms and wide open skies and love slipping away-
Where I felt real love in my own embrace even amongst the chaos of life’s uncertainty -and somewhere lost inside all of these layered memories- I feel ready
4.16.17 by Cassy Brown