“i never asked for this.”
MEMES ————————— @wearycrown
there’s a sadness in her eyes as octavia slowly nods her head in agreement. she understands. “i know baby, i know,” her bottom lip trembled as her hands slowly fell from where they’d been tangled in clarke’s blonde strands. “i can’t change what i want, clarke.” she’d tried. for eight months octavia tried being the girl who STAYED. working normal hours at the same publishing office except without the dangers. without the distance and the worry that each time the younger blake went out into the field that it might be the last time her family saw her. there was no other reason to stay in the office except that octavia blake’s in love with clarke.
it was just as hard for octavia every time she left clarke for an assignment half way across the world and after her time in captivity, octavia was even more willing to try normal life with clarke. it had to be the answer. the one that could make them both happy because then clarke could sleep at night and octavia could live with knowing clarke was happy.
boxing at a studio down a few blocks from the girl’s apartment helped octavia cope with her trauma and reignite that inner strength that she’s always had. except the more whole she felt…the more anxious she felt at home. that need to run— the need to wander was beginning to take root in octavia again.
emerald hues shinned with unshed tears as she took a few steps back from clarke and reached for the overnight bag she’d packed before clarke had returned from the gallery. “but i won’t keep asking you to wait here for me…i can’t…” her head shook, brown locks spilling over her shoulder as she struggled with her words. “i love you, but i can’t give you what you deserve clarke.”
