Red Flag Check In
We all have our faults. We all have our shortcomings. We all have things that we should be self aware about but there are some people out there who do not know that they are self absorbed, not motivating, not reciprocating or uplifting. Some people aren’t as self aware as they should be and noticing your own red flags is something that we should all take into consideration. If your friends, family, whomever is pointing out things to you, don’t be so quick to think they are “hating” or “they don’t understand”. Take that time to reflect and self check to make sure that you aren’t holding those red flags.
Me- yea...let’s talk about me. I am too trusting. I have been told that I am too nice at times, I give people too many chances. I am a “people pleaser”. Those are just some of the things...I looked at those things and said “hmmm does that benefit me or hurt me?” “Do the things that have been said about me make me a better person or does it to just the opposite?” I would like to think that they make me a better person and benefit me. But when I look back at situations, these things have been the downfall to some of my friendships and relationships.
I wasn’t selfish enough. I didn’t love me enough. I didn’t realize that you have to earn my trust, I needed to put up barriers and protect my peace. Since I didn’t know these things, I was taken advantage of. I was used, abused and talked about, all while thinking I am giving someone the best version of me so why wouldn’t they reciprocate? Why wouldn’t they? Because they don’t know how. They haven’t recognized their own red flags. They don’t know that they are using someone or care to address that they are depleting someone’s energy. They don’t think about this because it’s not important. It’s not a factor for them to this to be checked on because it is not a requirement for their friendship. As long as they are good and their peace is in tact then everything is okay.
In the last few days, I realized that I have a handful of friends, that will motivate, uplift and replenish in me just as I do them. I have realized that I have to protect my peace from “friends” who are just withdrawing from my peace account and not depositing. I will not be overdrawn and worn out anymore. I am not taking back what I have given out but I am learning and adjusting from this point on that it is okay to be selfish. Paying attention to my red flags will help me notice others as well.
Be Blessed & Love Yourself,
-ToriMichelle
