Leave You Wanting More...
Finding out that I had bipolar was like peeling a piece of fruit. We slowly worked one piece at a time, and used extreme caution as to not bite off more then I could chew. Layer by layer we finally reached the "good stuff", at which point I was able to connect the dots and could see the big bipolar picture that had been there all along. At times I would have preferred to of taken a big huge bite so that I could chew it around a bit, swallow, digest and be done with it...however I see now that there was method to her madness and everything was handled just as it should have been.
Of course it was hard to grasp at first, the diagnosis seemed so unreal. Up until that point, the only thing I knew about bipolar was that it was something my step-mom had growing up and we all knew that bitch was crazy! Certainly we weren't now one in the same....or were we? I had to know more because the thought of being like her didn't settle well with me. She had been through a lot over the years and I couldn't picture myself facing the same battle. So I read, and read, and then I read a little more. Heck, I'm still reading everyday because there is always something new to learn, whether it be through research or someone else's personal experience. While a lot of what I find is repetitive, there's always hope that I'll come across that one thing I hadn't heard of before.
So while I started this entry with one thing in mind, it seems to have taken a different direction, but it's okay because I can roll with this one too. The point to all of this, assuming you've made it this far, is that I want to write about the things you haven't come across yet. I want to be that hope for you that I have found in others, that something "different" that sticks out and leaves you wanting to read more. What's the craziest thing I've done while manic? Do you have a spending problem like me? Do you know what major life event flipped the switch on your bipolar? I never see anyone writing about these things. I want you to follow me because you can't wait to hear the next crazy thing that is going to come out of my mouth, and you even tell your friends about something you read here on my blog. I want you to feel comfortable, like you can relate to what you are reading. If I do my job right, I'll leave you wanting more! I hope that you never feel alone like I have so many times before. I have great family, best friends, and a wonderful support group, but none of them can understand me quite like my fellow readers can -especially those of you who know what it's like to live with "me, myself, and bipolar". Stephanie Joy signing out! :p
