#legalizejoy

[infpadvice]

Hello :) I've been seeing an ENTJ for 2 months. I fell for him really quickly. Im always thinking about him and want to spend time with him 24/7. The problem is, I feel like he doesn't like me as much as I like him. Sometimes he's really sweet, but sometimes I feel like I'm just his fuck buddy. Basically I need advice on how to relax my feelings more because I feel pathetic investing so much in him when it isn't really reciprocated. He likes me, but I don't think he really takes me seriously.

Ok, so I’m actually gonna answer this by telling you how to use each of your functions for this situation.

-Try expanding your mind set by exploring life more.  Talk to people, visit new places or memories, write and take nice pictures.  This will help you stop you from over thinking about him and your feelings for him, and possibly help activate your Ne, with all of the possibility of opportunities you’ll encounter.  Convince your brain that he is not the only interesting, kind person in your life.  Convince your brain that hanging out with him is not the only fun or comforting thing to do in life.

-While doing the first thing, try finding something you’re passionate about.  This will help refocus your Fi and Ne into something that you enjoy and can spend time on without worrying too much.

-Use your Te to put things into an objective perspective.  Make priorities, make lists of pros and cons for anything really.  Maybe even dive into the psychological aspects of what you’re feeling, relationships, and so on.

-GET A MASSAGE OR ACUPUNCTURE OR SOMETHING! I seriously recommend it! It’s so relaxing :D

-I wouldn’t recommend talking about this to people too often, because if you do, you’ll end up thinking about it even more and you’ll also make your feelings act up.

-Try to understand that his Feeling function is his inferior function, so he may not be so in tune to his feelings. His Te-dom function makes him act a bit coldly too.  So there is hope, but try not to let that hope consume you or anything, you still have yourself to take care of.

[infpadvice]

Hi, So basically I'm very introverted and awkward. I've always been labeled as b*tchy or shy, when in reality I just don't know how to talk or connect with people. I work retail and am in school so normally when I get time off I'd rather stay at home then see my friends. I still try to make time for people I love but when I don't my friends think I'm selfish or that I don't love them when in reality I just am stressed and need rest. How can I make my friends understand how I'm feeling?

1. Can’t connect with people:

People like to be able to figure you out fast and simply, over time it will irritate you less. You may also have the “chronic bitch-face” syndrome! Working retail has had to improve your social skills a bit and maybe it will help even more over time. Do you know anyone who is really outgoing? Maybe observe them more actively and pick up on things they do that you don’t.

2. Friends think you’re being selfish:

Long story short- it might not be all that possible. Introverts, can grasp extroverts, or less introverted people, rather well. This is typically less so with extroverts. They don’t quite “get” us losing energy from social interaction.

Have your friends ever showed up at your work because they “missed you”? A personal example of me having the same issue.

First, you can try to explain it to them. Perhaps get them to take the MBTI as well. Have them read about your personality.

Besides that, as it’s what I did, lie! I hate it but that’s why I don’t have those ^ friends anymore. But when I did I “got food poisoning” or “had to visit with my sisters” or “my phone was dead”. When all else failed, I would try and come up with a logical and true reason why I couldn’t spend time with them.

I will leave with saying I am not good with people or even the friends I have and really, really, really, cannot over-emphasize my lack of skill in any and all social interactions.

-apeycatty

Stand up for yourself. I think that’s most important. Explain your situation, about how you’re tired and stressed and all that. Make yourself clear and firm. State your boundaries, and ask for respect, but at the same time, don’t be offensive or defensive. Maybe even try to help them understand, by comparing it to something they’re familiar with. But in the end, if they don’t respect you, then you’ll have to break it off.

Now, is it ok if I talk about your connection issues?

Do you actively try to connect with people? Or do you just stay at home or something and think that you can’t connect with people? Do you think you’re bad at connecting with people because of the times where you were interested in someone, but they weren’t interested in you? Do you blame yourself for that?If so, then I think you might be stuck too much in the past. You have to let go and restart. Also, having a connection is not that simple. Connection is a two-way street. It involves you and the other person. You can’t force the other person to be interested in you, it’s up to them to determine their interest in you. It also involves time, place, setting, and all of that other jazz. You have to understand that it’s not always your fault.  There are so many factors in creating a connection. You’re not the only one. However, you are still a factor, and that means that if you’re not responsive, or if you don’t even try, then there won’t be a result.  You just have to try and try again. Let people know you a bit more. Continue having an interest in other people. Try to show that you’re interested in them through genuine compliments, attention, and so on. It’s tiring, and it also may not really make you feel “special” and “important” while doing it (because INFPs tend to want to feel “original” and “special”), but if you want to connect with people, you’ll have to do that.

If you ever feel lonely, want to talk about something, want more socializing tips, or want to have a friend, please don’t hesitate to talk with me on my main tumblr blog!

-sunhasrisen