[Solo] — The Weight of Us
“I want you— so fucking much and fuck I hate you for making me like this, for making me hate being Shutcall, making me pretend that I’m okay and coming into my face saying you need me to say it, when I know you won’t give it to me… why would you? Maybe that was the plan all along, to make me say it. But you’ve won the game Léo, my King has fallen since that night, can’t you see it? But fine, take my Black Rook too—” rejected me and abandon me because I’m no better than the others.
Baelfire was lost in the fog of his own thoughts and the one around him thanks to his Cuban cigarette dangling between his lips. January first was just a couple hours a way. Obviously, he wasn't about to work on that day or the next couple ones actually cause he wanted to be available for the vamp. No surprise, the asshole wasn't around and would just make an appearance not long before midnight. It was better this way anyway-- made things easier for the both of them to just be faced with the realization that having to think about it all day long, like he had been. But really, working today would've been shitty and he wouldn't have given a flying fuck about people.
Half a fucking decade living with the vamp and wearing his bracelet. He had no fucking clue how he'd managed to survive this long. Then again, he had kinda died when the hunters had unleashed a virus on their ass. It was kinda weird, but not really, to still remember word for word their discussion on December 31st 2014, minutes before midnight. He'd been a shadow of himself back then and pretty much ready to break down and also ready to give up. But Leo had been there to catch him and he'd ever regretted his decision since then. Obviously the abolishment of slavery had caused some ripples, but that was in the past too now.
Baelfire touched the clock in front of him-- one hour to go. The clock was specifically made for blind people, but it had looked so nice and fucking fancy that no one would know better than Leo and him. Ain't like he left it to be seen when people came around either. He sighed loudly and tiny bit dramatically. "Fucking asshole, get over here!" He knew there was a chance the guard would be listening to him, so he grinned like a lil boy up to where he knew one of the hidden camera was. And he even winked at it. "Think you'd come back faster if I jerked off?" Probably get shit for it, so he wouldn't cause this was meant to be a good night for them.
Another thread to bound them together, two spider webs that were becoming too intricate to distinguish one from another. Unable to live apart as they slowly killed each other-- Leo with his darkness and Baelfire with his kindness. Fuck this was crazy when he took a moment to think about it, but why give a fuck about it when he was happy? Miserably so, but still happy and accomplished. It wasn't a feeling many people had made him felt often. And who could refuse someone who accepted you the way you were? That knew every-fucking-thing about you, and you knew just the same about them, but that fire between you was still raging like a fucking inferno.
He shivered suddenly, turning his head to look at the front door seconds before it opened. Only four minutes left and he smiled like he'd never had, whispering, "Five minutes, just five minus one." Hau 'oli Makahiki Hou Ku'u Lei.
