#lestwinsfanfics

[afrosheeba-writes]

One More Question ... Part 1

I check my phone for the hundredth time, and roll my eyes at my weakness; I have to do better than that. I keep trying to tell myself that its for some other stupid reason, but I always know in the back of my mind it’s to check if I missed any messages form him. “Focus on the road Kida.” I say to myself, hoping that maybe if I heard it I might actually listen. I really did need to focus, I had to make it back to VA for work, and I’ve already hit some unexpected traffic. This weekend was my escape, to clear my head and focus on what’s important, but this drive back is like a splash of cold water. I will soon be back in reality with almost nothing figured out.

 It was hard to admit it to myself but I took this trip to figure out my feelings for him. I wanted to say it was because I missed my family, and I really wanted to go to the beach. And of course both of these things where true, but he was always a constant thought in the back of my mind. Oh how bad I wanted him there with me, to just relax and enjoy the sun, maybe we would see a different side to each other that we haven’t seen yet. But our schedules are too different, I only have the weekends off and he is always working. How did I think we could make this work?

 My eyes immediately flick up to my phone as the screen lights up, hope blossoming in my chest unwillingly at the thought of seeing his name on my screen. But my hope is quickly diminished, as my best friends name, Bree, pops up on my screen. I press my finger against the thumb pad and my texts open up. She wants to know how my weekend went, but do I even know how it went? I lock my screen, and adjust my phone in its holder so I can still see my GPS when I need too, I shouldn’t be texting and driving anyway.

 That’s when I knew I was in too deep, when the sight of his name excites me more than the girl who has been with me through thick and thin. She thinks we would be great for each other, and encourages me to go after him. She’s always been so supportive of my decisions, and that’s why I decided that I needed this trip. Everyone knows him, everyone knows we are talking and he always seems to be brought up no matter how much I avoid it. I needed to be away from everyone and decide for myself, is he the right guy for me? Am I wasting my time?

 It started so simple; we worked together at a small little restaurant and barely talked. We had our small conversations here and there, but it was never anything serious. Then one day I walked in and looked at him and everything changed, my crush on him developed quickly. And I knew he noticed that I was acting different. The way my cheeks would turn red whenever he talked to me, the way my face lit up when he walked in for his shift, the times he caught me staring at him while he was working.

 Our conversations got longer, and deeper, you could almost say we told each other everything. Then one day he asked me for my number, he wanted to take this to the next level, so of course I said yes. It started off so great, we texted all day, everyday. We even hung out a few times, I’m not sure if you could call them dates, but I didn’t mind, we where just taking things slow.

 Of course thing slowed down, he would take a little while to reply but he always apologized even though I was never mad. “Its okay. Your allowed to have a life and not text me every second of everyday” I had said to him and we both laughed. So he stopped apologizing and things where still good, daily texts, and I even met his friends. And it stayed good for a few more months, even after I found another job, until we got to where we are now.

 Its been days since he last texted me, and I try not to let it bother me to much. But my mind can’t help but wonder why. Is he really that busy? Does he get annoyed when I text him now? Or worse, is he talking to someone else? I know the last one is unlikely; he has always been very forthcoming about the girls that try to talk to him. He always told me where he was going and whom he was with, I never even asked him once. But what am I supposed to think when he won’t talk to me anymore?

 He has done this once before, last weekend, and I let him off the hook when he finally texted me because my Bree said too. “Give him one more chance,” she had said to me, “Don’t let him see how petty you are just yet.” So I took her advice and things went back to normal for a week or so, now it’s the weekend again and we are right back in the same situation. I was too scared to ask him why he was acting like that, I couldn’t let him know that he hurt me by ignoring me; my pride wouldn’t allow it just yet. Because what if I was the only one thinking all of this time we had spent texting and hanging out was going to lead to something more?

 My grip tightens on the steering wheel as my anger flares; I hope for his sake that he didn’t waste my time like that. I’ve made it very clear the entire time that I liked him but he never said it back, I always took it as him just wanting to take things slow but was I mistaken? I had about 20 minutes left of my drive, and used that to start forming a plan to get an answer out of this elusive man. I cannot waste my time anymore; because it is precious, this weekend helped me realize that.

----------

It’s almost midnight and my shift is almost over, I checked snapchat not to long ago and saw he was at his friend’s house. Perfect, he’s not at work so if he takes forever to reply I know its because he doesn’t want to talk to me. I wait for my coworker to get fully settled in before I leave and head to my car. I was going to wait until I got home to text him so I could give this my full attention but I’m nervous and getting impatient. I decide to text him now so I don’t chicken out and give him some time to respond. I set my plan into motion with a simple “Can I ask you something?” and slip my phone into my purse and quickly get into my car.

I hear my phone vibrate as I start the car and pull it out expecting a text from Bree, she always knows when I’m up to something. But I was surprised to see his name on my screen, his immediate response has thrown me off a little but its only texting, he can’t see my face. “What’s up” was his reply and I continue with my plan and ask him what TV show I should watch tonight, something stupid to catch his interest, hopefully he takes the bait. His response was almost immediate again, but I need to get home so he’s going to have to wait this time.

I used the red lights as my opportunities to reply to him, I didn’t want him to lose interest. We debated over TV shows for a while until I finally decided on what I wanted to watch. As soon as I pressed send I could almost feel him putting me in the back of his mind, he had done his part and made me happy now he could focus on something else. I knew he wasn’t busy, his quick replies had proved that, and now came the moment of truth. “One more question,” I typed out, my stomach was in knots over this simple little text, I took a deep breath to calm myself and kept typing. “Where is this going?’ I quickly pressed send before I could convince myself this was bad idea, and waited for a response.

But a response never came; my phone screen didn’t light up again for the rest of my ride home. Disappointment flooded through my body as I parked my car, I thought he was better than this. I leaned my head back on the headrest and exhaled roughly, I mean this is what I wanted right? I wanted answers, and yes he didn’t give me an actual answer but his silence is answer enough.  I’m just tired, tired of the bullshit, and I desperately need a shower and sleep.

I force myself out of my car and into my apartment; I wave and give a weak smile to my roommate and her friends before making a beeline straight for my room. Within a minute I was in the shower, letting the hot water run down my body and loosen the tension I didn’t know I was still holding onto. I guess we weren’t meant to be, and that’s okay. That’s not even the part that bothers me the most; it’s the fact that he didn’t tell me he didn’t want the same things. I would’ve been perfectly fine being friends, but he didn’t even give me the chance to explain that.

I reluctantly step out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel, I open the door to the bathroom and go out into my room and grab my lotion. A loud knock on my door scares me so much that the lotion slipped out of my hand and hit the floor. Next, anger floods through my body, why the hell would my roommate let her friends knock on my door like that. I stomp over to my door and swing it open, forgetting I’m still only in a towel, ready to curse out whoever had the nerve to bang on my door like a cop.

My words die in my mouth as I look up into brown eyes that I’ve become very familiar with in these last few months. He smirks and he puts his hand on my naked shoulder and pushes me backwards as he steps into my room and closes the door. “Hello Kida,” He says, that smirk still on his face. I take a deep breath and brace myself for whatever game he is about to try and play.

“Larry.”

[gdirtydime19]

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[lestwinsfanfics]

Just Friends (Intro)

I don’t know what’s goin on about this feelin that you’ve got me feelin….

He took an extra hit, letting the smoke linger out and quickly sucking it back in, lips poked out, still gently laughing. I lightly smile. “…and i aint goin nowhere”, I sing along as he passes me the joint, our hands grazing. I begin inhaling air to compliment the smoke, letting it out thickly in a french inhale, my signature, as the feeling of the loud in my system rush to my ears and face. i feel his eyes on my mouth. Our eyes catch each other staring “you got me walkin on the ceiling” i see him mouth along to the song as he closes his eyes, laying back.

Smoking is so… enticing. Theres something almost erotic about it. The shape it takes, how it can go from a heavy thickness to whispy and thin, the way it lingers eveurywhere it touches. its easy to get lost in the moment, just watching. It also doesn’t hurt to watch it exit the lips of a picturesque male like this one.

“you should dance to this boo.” I say, interrupting my own thoughts, nudging Larry’s side.  “only if you sing for me…” he grins at me, knowing i’m more apt to do so while high. his smile encouraging me. “nigga you aint slick.” i said, side eye-ing him playfully

These are the moments that I will likely never forget. The moments I love with my love… my best friend. We don’t get to do this often, what with our work schedules, but the connection never has left… and unlike most relationships, the distance didn’t completely ruin it. It has been harder to stay connected over the years but… i don’t think either of us can just completely let the other go.

Come to think of it, We’re probably too damn old to be sitting up in a room, bed covered in snacks, getting high as hell and blasting music. But we love it. and we make a point to always do it at least once while we’re together. More often than not more than once. But at least once every time we come together with just us two.

cuz everythings better when you’re high…

Everything is heightened at this point. I can smell the notes of the candles burning next to me, the most prominent one being the dark musky one he brought back from belgium…only to be burned on special occasions. We’re in between j’s at this point. His head is resting on my chest, My hand is tangled in his hair. He plays with the fringes on the blanket covering us, breathing deeply from the feeling of my nails in his scalp, while mimicing the beginning of the next song.

I was sent here for you, we were made to love, we were made to love

Along with his scent, I can feel his voice vibrating against me, like he can mine. He always comments on my perfume, usually while i’m marveling in the scent of his cologne. This is a familiar back and forth for us. No matter how few and far between these moments come, this will always be so familiar.

"Who that?" Larry’s head pops up as the chime of my phone interrupts the song “ummm” awkward pause “Its Lau. He’s pissed you didn’t answer him.” “Yeah well he should still be pissed, your shit should be on silent too, like mine, you not slick baby. Who you waiting to hear from?” “No one… I just… forgot” I say, stalling. “Lau is on his way soon.” “Yeah whatever, like an hour or 2, that nigga slow” his laugh is deep, husky, and smoke filled…while holding a bright bunny tooth-ed smile. Before i can point out his baby face, his phone rattles against my leg, shining an unsaved number. I ignored it the first time, as he generally keeps his phone face down and on silent, no vibrate, no sound, so seeing the number pop up irritates me immediately, and uncontrollably. Call me selfish. Call me out on the double standard. I don’t care. I know what those unsaved numbers mean… at least mine isn’t a random fuck…or a basic ass waste of time.

"aww don’t pout at me like that baby boo, i know what you’re about to say."

Neither of us can ever hide our emotions, especially with each other. Sagittarius’s rarely can, so my second nature scowl is obvious to him before its obvious to me.  “i’m not about to say anything, go answer your phone, its annoying” as i shuffle from underneath him to grab my charger. He sighs “no… fuck that. its our time.” I look down again, my phone vibrating but not from the absent twin. Jamal… texting me, wondering why he hasn’t heard from me today, and seeing how my day is going. He knows where i am, who i’m with. He won’t press much.

He’s met the boys a few times. They didn’t like him, but they don’t like many niggas, especially ones who seem like they’re getting to close to us. My roommates and I have a bunch of guy friends, and not many have passed the twinspection. Jamal received a failed grade on sight, especially after the boys caught us mid argument. Larry hated him especially. Not to say Jamal was a fan either to be honest. He tried being cool, but with J’s personality and ours together, it was simply too many strong heads in one place. Larry and I alone were even worse. Jamal felt left by the wayside. But he knew i needed freedom, and caging me in would be the best way to lose me. So he let it be.

I let the text go unread and unanswered initially, but I knew the jist. I guess Larry presumed I would answer it, because when I looked over toward him, his head was buried in his phone, tapping away quickly. I lingered by my desk, pretending to look for my phone charger to give him time. Once i turned to get back in the bed, Larry threw his phone to the side. It began to vibrate immediately after leaving his hand. “Answer it.” “Its business.” we said simultaneously. I rolled my eyes, doubting business would have been ignored this long. I quickly shot Jamal a text, letting him know things were cool and we’d get together soon. I closed my eyes as “good morning” by kanye began to play, letting it fade into my high. into my head. into me.

________

Larry’s POV

"Why you keep calling. What you want" “Damn bae i didn’t know it was like that?” “Karina… you did know. stop calling me. I see you when I see you.” “baby I-“ “stop that ‘baby’ shit” “*sigh* nigga whatever. frontin because you’re with that bitch.” “ay, watch your mouth.” “NIGGA FUCK YOU AND HER! SHE AINT SHIT. AND ANOTHER THING…” I hang up instead of playing her game. I wont waste time hearing her shit, or getting pissed and having Aaliyah read me like a book. She always knows. I don’t want her probing. Plus, she hates Karina. hell… I hate Karina. but she’s easy. I’ll let her slide through sometimes. I click back over to management to finishing hearing about the upcoming gig Lau and I have in Nepal. Its crazy…. living in and out of hotels, different place every night. Home is where the heart is, and while I miss my family… home for now is wherever I lay my head. If I had to pick a consistent place though, it would be here. After ending the call with a promise of an email, i step back in the room, candle wax and slight lingering smoke mostly from the blown out candles still flowing in the air. That, and her perfume. So distinct, but I never know what exactly it is. Sometimes I spray a couple of her scents onto my stuff, just to feel her near. It’s never the same but its as close as I can get. It smells like comfort. Memories. Love. She’s laying on the bed, eyes closed, vibing. Ali’s humming harmonies quietly along with James Blake, too zoned to notice me right away. Yeah. If I had to choose a home, it would be here…her. I smile at the thought of her traveling the world with me. Coming home to this every night. My best friend. I love her. In another life, we’d be perfect. Even in the beginning of our career, Lau and I knew the women would be coming more than before, and we were ready. So, i did what was right for me, I denied our connection, kept her close enough so she’d never leave, but far enough to know she couldn’t have me. I couldn’t lie, I had feelings for her, but all the other sexy ass options at my feet? I could never let her go though. I almost lost her a few times. I was being selfish with her, not giving her freedom to get over her feelings. After the days we shared, the way i treated her was fucked up… but i couldn’t… cant let her go. She’s mine. She always has been. I can spend days with her and it never gets old. Thats what it would be like to come home to this every night. But…Our paths just aren’t in the same place right now. This will have to do for now. I snuggled up to her body. She liked being up against the wall, i blocked her in like a cocoon. My little butterfly. Her eyes fluttered as she fought her weed nap, and turned away from me. “peanut, don’t” I say ” i need cover, i need my peanut!” i whine, draping my arm and leg over her. “Shhhhhh. Go to sleep boy” she says while throwing some of her blanket back. As the beginning of “in a sentimental mood” starts up, we both slide under and drift off, legs tangled, breathing synced.