Having trouble with self-love?
Loving yourself is a different journey for everyone and it can come with obstacles especially if the majority of your life, you’ve been putting yourself down and insulting yourself at every turn. Give yourself a break because despite all that, you’ve come a long way. But if you’re tired of being your own enemy and are ready for some self love and you don’t know where to begin, I encourage you to continue reading and see if there’s anything that can help you start this journey or even continue it if you’re already walking down that path.
1. Self acceptance. The first step you can take of loving yourself is self acceptance. Accept the way you are at this very moment. Accept all your emotions, your flaws, your mistakes, the way you look, the way you act. Accept that you are the person that you are now.
2. Replace each criticism with a compliment. Every time you insult yourself even if you think it, replace it with a compliment. Example: if you call yourself dumb, counteract that with the opposite. “No, I’m not dumb. I’m actually smart, witty, intelligent, etc.” I am not saying to stop completely insulting yourself, I understand that it’s hard especially if it’s become a habit but what you can do is deny the insult and replace it with something kind and compassionate towards yourself. It might feel awkward at first, but so what? Awkwardness is only a feeling and it’ll go away eventually with every compliment you give yourself.
3. Dress your best. Put on outfits that highlight your beauty or at the very least, an outfit that you think looks ‘okay’ on you. Pick out your best clothes, put on makeup, get your nails done, get a haircut, all that vanity stuff! I know, your worth doesn’t come from your outwards appearance, but if you’re having difficulty with self love, this can help you push you a bit towards loving yourself. You will feel positive feelings because you’re taking control of your appearance, you will like the clothes you wear and the way you look, and you will feel good because you are taking care of yourself even if at first it’s just your physical appearance. It is a start.
4. Accept compliments. Try to accept every compliment that you receive from others. It can be a challenge, but all you have to do is say thank you. That’s it. You don’t have to delve into your thank you’s or try to deny the compliment. Say thank you and move on. A trick I learned to ease my discomfort after accepting a compliment is to change the subject after you say thanks. Example: Perhaps your friend complimented you on your eyes. Say thank you and switch the subject right after. “Thank you. Hey, do you remember the time we...etc.”
5. Remind yourself that it’s possible to love yourself. The self-love journey can be a tricky one, but it is possible to love yourself no matter what type of person you think you are. It’s achievable for everyone but it takes time and consistency for everyone. Every tiny step you take is taking you one step closer in the love you seek for yourself.
