Jan 31, 2020
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Letter #63 - Hi..
Hey, Tori! Lol. Okay so i just really wanted to say your song dear no one has honestly helped me through the roughest of times. Okay I'm 13 but Ive seen things been through things that no one will ever understand. My parents are split up and he has another wife and children, i honestly just get called names at home and school. But i keep smiling because i know I'm not perfect but I'm me. School life is okay but it isn't great, I'm head over heels for a guy and he claimed to like me but he used me, Ive liked him for two years now and he just says really mean things about me behind my back but he acts like were friends and i accidentally said something about him and someone took it out of context and told him and i apologized because there is no excuse for what i said and I'm continuously beating myself up about this and school has started again and he is saying some really mean things about me, making up rumors and everyone's just slagging me off basically, now I'm not going to sit here and lie and say I'm completely innocent because i know I'm not and i just really hope i get over him because I'm still young but your song has helped me through alot with this situation and there was a point in my life where i did take 17 pills in hope i would die, i have self harmed but your voice it helps me i don't know how but it does, even if its just a cover of a song. Now I'm in hope that one day you come to edmonton london. North london basically and i see you. Maybe one day you can come visit my school Aylward Academy. But yeah your the only one that knows about all of this so you know you're probably not going to read this but hey i gave it a shot! Keep doing what your doing and never give up your very talented and your songs and covers and just your voice in general helps and inspires people more than you know. ILOVEYOUTORIKELLY x x http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LlEna305JS0
Letter #63: Not Enough Room
Dear Ohio,
Jealousy is when you count someone else's blessings.
I'll admit, I've been a mathematician at times. I have a friend who is by far the best artist that I have met to date. His talent is unmatched. It looks so effortless to me how comes up with songs, while I'm over here slaving to make decent hooks!
I had already conceded that he will be better than me.
I thought that he would have a 'better' career than I would. I contemplated even quitting music because I felt like he would over take me anyways. As you can tell by my language, all these thoughts were being fueled by fear.
I let fear make my vision narrow.
Peep game. There are what, 7 BILLION people on the planet, and according to a 2006 Census, 324 MILLION people speak English on this planet. Why am I concerned about him 'taking' my fans?! There is enough room for people to have more than one favorite artist. I have many many many artists that I enjoy listening to! And I wouldn't pick one over the other! You can never have too much good music!
I sound like Hitler...
"YOU CAN ONLY LISTEN TO ME!" That's foolishness. Our stories are totally different, but they actually compliment each other. I see now that we would be robbing a lot of people of a lot of good music if we don't work together! Being worried that he'll take my 'fans' is like being worried that a vegetarian is going to take my hamburger. Let's say he does 'take my fans,' then what? Listen to how constricting FEAR is! Got me worrying about things that I have no control over!
I came to my senses.
Thank God. There a lot of people that I will not touch, and there will be a few that I do impact. I can not change that. I can not and will not try to please everyone. I have to tell my story and live with whoever receives it. I am extremely blessed to have a gift. God could have given it to someone else!
Thank You Jesus!
I must not let my insecurities ruin perfectly amazing opportunities. The real issue is that he's been making music for 10 years+ and me, only 4.(Why did I belittle my 4 years of hard work?!) That makes me feel like I have so much to catch upon . However, my success coach Johnel Barron said once "Don't compare your beginning to someone's else's middle!" It's a bad idea for me to compare myself him. When I look at MY story and where I've come from, I have to say Thank God! I have grown SO much and have a ways to go, but I am moving forward!
Please continue to pray for me!
I hope you live before you die,
Antoine Edmonson
P.S.- What are YOU letting fear stop you from?