#letterstoc

[wordstomymoon]

07

hi. i heard you talked to my bestfriend. i actually don’t know what to feel whenever this happens, actually i just don’t want to admit how i feel. it’s probably because i do not have the right to feel this way. i keep forgetting i only met you because of her, don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing though. i mean i’m lucky and glad that i met you, don’t get me wrong but i sometimes think what if i never met you? would life be different? would i be happier? would i be enough? we’ll never know now.. but i have to admit i wish i didn’t. i wouldn’t have to bother you or annoy you all the time with my stupid feelings. lol i am sorry, i am really trying not to. i think i am doing quite well or at least i think so. although i am slowly learning to accept that if i don’t try nothing is ever going to happen, and even if i did try still nothing happens. it’s a dead end for me.

[wordstomymoon]

06

hi, i got a haircut today probably the best one i’ve had in awhile since i cannot see my linh anymore, i miss san jose tbh. it was the best escape i’ve had, i was genuinely happy and free. can i vent out a little? something i’ve not done with you in awhile... do you ever feel like you’re not welcome in the place you live? like it’s supposed to be your space but people make you feel like it’s not. you’re supposed to be comfortable but no... i get jokes, if we’re joking yes i would joke with you no problem but man, to be disrespected in my own space? i don’t tolerate that, that’s not funny to me. okay, sorry enough about me. hope you’re doing well. i kind of wished you actually get to read this, but the last time i sent you one you didn’t respond and tbh that hurts. for someone who hates being ignored it might be over dramatic but it broke my heart a little. sorry this letter had been so emotional so far, i’ll stop it now. take care of yourself, wherever you are.

[wordstomymoon]

05

hello.

i woke up to a very good news today! finally my poetry book that was inspired by you is about to get published. the publishing consultant finally reached out to me, hopefully it’s going to be out soon! i can’t wait. thank you so much for this, if not for you this wouldn’t be possible. i hope you’ll like it. i can’t wait for you to read it.

[wordstomymoon]

04

Hi. I am so tired and I don’t know what else to say. I’ll try to write longer tomorrow. I am not feeling very well.

I miss you.

[wordstomymoon]

03

hi, i’m tired of saying i don’t have anything to say. i actually have so many things i wanted to tell you but i don’t have the words to say it. i don’t even have the guts to even actually start a conversation. i feel so empty and lost. it’s just crazy that at the end of the day i still think about you even if for a fact you don’t even remember me for a second. i wish i could forget i wish you could teach me how to. after all, that’s where you’re good at, right?

[wordstomymoon]

02

it’s just the second day and i am already running out of words to say... it is becoming very clear that the end is near.

how many endings would make me stop? how many times do i say i am giving up before i can actually give up? 

[wordstomymoon]

01

so today, i decided to write you a letter everyday since i really don’t know how to talk to you anymore or to start a conversation again after more than a month. i’m sorry if i still think about you. believe me i’ve been trying hard not to. i know it’s different this time, it feels different. i am constantly feeling like this is the end. 

and i hate endings, i really do. i really thought this nothing i had with you would be the one that won’t have to end you know. i guess you’re right. i’m sorry i got so much hope in my heart, it’s crazy to think but i really do not know how to give up something/someone i never had. i wish i know how, please let me know how.

i guess, all i was trying to say is that i miss you and i hope you are well.

[itwasallviolet]

C,

If you would take a step back, try and absorb the pain radiating from me. Read the words I’ve written for you, give me the chance to explain. Give yourself the chance to understand. You would see that I love you. That sleeping with him does not mean I don’t love you. That I walked away because you pushed me away not because I wanted to. That I’ve been fighting back tears for days. That I cried in your bedroom just yesterday. If you could read the words I wrote, if you could taste the tears I’ve cried, if you would just listen, just understand that I fought for for us, but that fight wasn’t against life it was against you... I begged you to put in effort, to be there for me, support me, respect me, and you refused. I tried to heal, to cope, to forget, I tried to distract myself for just a little bit, just take a tiny break from the heart break. I wash you would’ve pulled me back when I finally had the courage to walk away.....