w o l f x m o o n

"maybe the wolf is in love with the moon and each month it cries for a love it will never touch."

[nothingbutloveforyou]

with me you don't ever have to worry about being loved

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

For every person who thinks you're "too quiet" there's one who thinks you're an amazing listener. For every person who thinks you're "too clingy" there's one who loves how much and how openly you care about others. For every person who thinks you're "too weird" there's one who admires how you dare to stand out from the crowd. For every person who thinks you're "too sensitive" there's one who respects you for being so in touch with your feelings. For every person who thinks you're "too confident" there's one who thinks your self respect is an inspiration. What's a negative trait in one person's eyes might be exactly what someone else is looking for. It's not black or white.

[owlmylove]

no one tells you how much of life takes practice. not just writing, painting, running, singing, etc, but practicing how to make friends. how to make the right ones. getting practiced at how to be a good friend, a good sibling, a good person. practice identifying when people haven’t earned that. learning to recognize your right to rage and, eventually, how to offer mercy. so much of life is muscle memory, and i’ve begun to realize there are so many more parts of ourselves to flex and stretch and strengthen than those we’re taught in anatomy lessons

[wordstomymoon]

08

hi. i think this might be the last letter.. i know, i can’t even commit to writing daily.. i tried but everyday i keep finding myself running out of words to say. i might’ve actually reached the end. from last night’s realization i think it’s actually best not to think about you anymore, i thought writing you letters would help me be free but it’s actually just keeping me trapped from what i feel and i don’t want to feel it anymore. i wish you all the happiness in life. i wish you all the best. i wish you all the love. thank you for all the happiness and for making me feel alive. for making me look forward to the future. i am now moving forward. i want to apologize for everything as well, for making you feel like you’d have to want me back even if i knew from the start you don’t. i will forever miss you. thank you for giving me peace. meeting you was one of the best things that ever happened to me and i thank the universe for that. you are worth it and you are loved, always. thank you, casey. till we meet again.

[wordstomymoon]

07

hi. i heard you talked to my bestfriend. i actually don’t know what to feel whenever this happens, actually i just don’t want to admit how i feel. it’s probably because i do not have the right to feel this way. i keep forgetting i only met you because of her, don’t know if that’s a good or a bad thing though. i mean i’m lucky and glad that i met you, don’t get me wrong but i sometimes think what if i never met you? would life be different? would i be happier? would i be enough? we’ll never know now.. but i have to admit i wish i didn’t. i wouldn’t have to bother you or annoy you all the time with my stupid feelings. lol i am sorry, i am really trying not to. i think i am doing quite well or at least i think so. although i am slowly learning to accept that if i don’t try nothing is ever going to happen, and even if i did try still nothing happens. it’s a dead end for me.

[wordstomymoon]

06

hi, i got a haircut today probably the best one i’ve had in awhile since i cannot see my linh anymore, i miss san jose tbh. it was the best escape i’ve had, i was genuinely happy and free. can i vent out a little? something i’ve not done with you in awhile... do you ever feel like you’re not welcome in the place you live? like it’s supposed to be your space but people make you feel like it’s not. you’re supposed to be comfortable but no... i get jokes, if we’re joking yes i would joke with you no problem but man, to be disrespected in my own space? i don’t tolerate that, that’s not funny to me. okay, sorry enough about me. hope you’re doing well. i kind of wished you actually get to read this, but the last time i sent you one you didn’t respond and tbh that hurts. for someone who hates being ignored it might be over dramatic but it broke my heart a little. sorry this letter had been so emotional so far, i’ll stop it now. take care of yourself, wherever you are.

[wordstomymoon]

05

hello.

i woke up to a very good news today! finally my poetry book that was inspired by you is about to get published. the publishing consultant finally reached out to me, hopefully it’s going to be out soon! i can’t wait. thank you so much for this, if not for you this wouldn’t be possible. i hope you’ll like it. i can’t wait for you to read it.

[wordstomymoon]

04

Hi. I am so tired and I don’t know what else to say. I’ll try to write longer tomorrow. I am not feeling very well.

I miss you.

[wordstomymoon]

03

hi, i’m tired of saying i don’t have anything to say. i actually have so many things i wanted to tell you but i don’t have the words to say it. i don’t even have the guts to even actually start a conversation. i feel so empty and lost. it’s just crazy that at the end of the day i still think about you even if for a fact you don’t even remember me for a second. i wish i could forget i wish you could teach me how to. after all, that’s where you’re good at, right?

[wordstomymoon]

02

it’s just the second day and i am already running out of words to say... it is becoming very clear that the end is near.

how many endings would make me stop? how many times do i say i am giving up before i can actually give up? 

[wordstomymoon]

01

so today, i decided to write you a letter everyday since i really don’t know how to talk to you anymore or to start a conversation again after more than a month. i’m sorry if i still think about you. believe me i’ve been trying hard not to. i know it’s different this time, it feels different. i am constantly feeling like this is the end. 

and i hate endings, i really do. i really thought this nothing i had with you would be the one that won’t have to end you know. i guess you’re right. i’m sorry i got so much hope in my heart, it’s crazy to think but i really do not know how to give up something/someone i never had. i wish i know how, please let me know how.

i guess, all i was trying to say is that i miss you and i hope you are well.

[wordstomymoon]

okay, so i am running out of things to distract myself from ever missing you.

i’ve had handful of letters written under your name and yet i know that you won’t ever get to read them.. i feel like i am always stuck on this endless loop of wanting to talk to you but idk what to say and i don’t want to bother you.

just so you know, we may not talk but you’re always on my mind. i just wish you are doing well.. and staying happy. i guess. i’ll talk to you soon, i’m still here.

[wordstomymoon]

hey, i know it’s been awhile.. 

it’s been 5 years since i created this blog to somehow express how i feel for you, although i will never find the perfect or right words to say to fully describe the exact feeling.

i’m sorry that i stopped writing to you... when i realized you and i would never happen, i kind of lost hope.

idk what is the universe up to lately but i really am happy that it brought you back to my life. it has been an amazing dream to be able to talk to you and finally feel like there might be a chance... 

 i know it’s still a long shot but you know what as what they said in Hamilton, i’m not throwing away my shot! :)

i am looking forward to the future, i know it’s not going to be easy but i’m pretty sure it will all be worth it, you are worth waiting for.

i like you, present tense. i am not going anywhere.

[wordstomymoon]

And somehow I wish you knew this side of me, that I wasn’t just someone you see.

And things that you heard or know about me.

I wasn’t as mediocre or shallow, I’m not who you think I am but to reveal myself would ruin me, for what you thought was nothing close to I.

So for once, please just take some time to really figure me out. 

Know me like it’s the first time we’ve met, ask me what my passions are and what I do best, make me feel I’m worthy of your time.

For once, please just be someone who’d show interest and really mean it, I know I’m not much but maybe, if you take much effort and time..

Then maybe you’d see things in my perspective, maybe you’d want to know more and see more.. with me.

To cut this short, please just have coffee with me?

[wordstomymoon]

Sometimes it’s easier to fantasize over things, over you, over us.

Sometimes i just look at my phone, seeing messages from you that I never really received.

Saying how much I mean to you and how the little things I do lights up your face.

I sometimes see you beside me in the morning, sleeping quietly, calm, dreaming like a child.

Dreaming like me, together we’d cuddle and soon we’d wake and face the day but not forgetting about having breakfast together.

Drinking coffee and that’s how we start our day... with a coffee date.

I’ll drop you off to work and say “Hi.” to some of your students, you’ll kiss me goodbye but you won’t say goodbye because you know it’s always going to be “See you later!”

But these are just dreams, imaginations, illusions and sometimes hallucinations.

But Lord knows how I wanted everything to be real, for an “us” to be real, for a chance to make it real.

Someday, we’ll meet again, right time, right place... right, love?

[wordstomymoon]

2:31 pm

nothing but thoughts and the endless coldness  to keep me company.

got a pen and a paper, hoping writing to you would rescue me,

from the loneliness I feel, holding onto your lingering memories.

I feel so homeless, helpless yet I know you’re not my home and you won’t save me,

but I guess there’s magic cause having you in my thoughts is somehow calming, soothing and it’s comforting me.

we seldomly talk and you barely know who I am.

I’m in love with you and it’s creepy and kind of ridiculous to know but I really am.

I can’t wait for the day till I see you again, but for now I’m thankful for what we have and I’m happy to be your friend.

[wordstomymoon]

i have been trying to find a way to completely express how i feel for this girl. it's been more than a year since i fell for her and since then, i didn't know how to stop. i've had handfuls of poems and letters written under her name and yet nothing could exactly describe what she really means to me. i've written a story of how we met and how i actually fell for her, it may sound ridiculous to fall in love with someone you only met once. but it's real to me. it's what i really feel and what i'm still feeling for her right now. so i decided to make something for her. i don't care if she'll appreciate this but knowing her, i know she would. don’t get me wrong, i may not know her for a long time, or really know her completely but when we met i felt like i've known her since forever. you could call this anything you want. infatuation. obsession. fascination. but no matter what you say, it is love. and it is real.