notable moments from The Snow Job
leverage 1.09
Wayne: Mr. Retzing I want to talk to you for one moment, please. (walks toward Retzing) Just one moment. (punches Retzing in the face)
we love to see corrupt assholes punched in the face
- - - - -
Eliot: Where the hell is he at?
Hardison: Maybe he overslept.
Eliot: No. He doesn't oversleep. This guy sets an alarm to set his alarm.
Parker: A man with one watch knows the time. A man with two is never sure.
Sophie: Huh?
Parker: I had fortune cookies for breakfast.
(Nate walks in looking very rough)
Nate: Okay, run it.
Hardison: So, what, you had left over Chinese for breakfast?
Parker: No, just the cookies.
Hardison: Do you put milk on the fortune cookies? ‘Cause I don’t…
Parker: It's not cereal. It's a fortune cookie. You don't dunk it.
Nate: Whoa, no chatter today. Just -- Just run it
we love the chaotic ot3
like, poor eliot. he fell in love with “I once ate a pizza pocket off the ground” alec hardison and “I eat fortune cookies for breakfast” parker
- - - - -
Sophie: Are you drunk?
Nate: Technically, no. I was drunk a couple hours ago. Now I’m just hung over.
- - - - -
[Resort Lounge]
(Randy looks through the planner, finds her passport, and does an internet search)
[Resort Bar]
Hardison: Sorry, Ute Ausgatner.
(Hardison uses photoshop to superimpose Sophie’s face on an actual Luge athelete)
[Ute Ausgatner’s House]
(Ute is surfing the internet and finds all the pictures of her have been change to that of Sophie. She starts cursing in German to her mother)
SKSKNSNDNKKS
- - - - -
Sophie: Here we got to make room for heli-Skiing pad, you know, all the usual, you know, spa's facilities. We're gonna have the heated plunge pools and the Jacuzzis and the hot tubs.
Randy: Ski in, ski out?
Sophie: Yeah. Boom?
Randy: Boom
their entire plan here was EXTREMELY ridiculous
- - - - -
Nate: Okay, Parker. Go.
[Ski Lift]
(Parker calmly dives off the lift, hanging by it from one hand, completely unconcerned)
Nate: Parker?
[Resort Bar]
Nate: Parker?
[Ski Lift]
Nate: Parker?
Parker: Hmm?
Nate: What are you doing?
Parker: Oh, yeah. (sounding bored) Help. Help. (to man) How you doin’?
[Resort Bar]
Nate (facepalms): Oh, geez
“how you doin’” IM SCREAMING
- - - - -
(Eliot is showing a display to Rockman)
Eliot: And unlike conventional fireplaces, these have marshmallow toasting rods already built in and retractable. Brand-new.
where do they even get these ideas ???
(lowkey I’d want one of those fireplaces)
- - - - -
the picture of eliot and his VERY seriously fake german wife I’m screaming
- - - - -
Randy: Oh, come on, dude, are you ready to rock this?
(Randy grabs Eliot and hugs him, lifting him off the ground. Eliot looks uncomfortable)
Eliot: Yeah
eliot looks so uncomfortable it’s amazing
- - - - -
Sophie: So, uh, you can write that little check now, eh?
[Resort Bar]
Hardison: Hey, why can't they all be this easy?
[Resort Office]
Randy: Of course not. We have to go to Miami. My dad's the one who has to write the check.
[Resort Bar]
Hardison: Aw, hell, why they all got to be this hard?
let hardison have an easy job 2k20
- - - - -
Retzing: Randy. So, where you been this time -- Europe?
Randy: No.
Retzing: Caribbean?
Randy: No.
Retzing: Well, give me the dirty details.
Randy: Just some skiing. Dad, meet Leena Christinger.
Sophie: Guten tag.
Retzing: French. Nice
“french? nice” sophie looks ready to scream
- - - - -
the scene of parker and eliot running around in the back yard is cute y’all but I’ll take literally any ot3 interaction and adore it so
+
eliot nodding at parker, not having to say anything before he boosts her up to the second floor
+
I’m sorry but her lil thieving outfit with suspenders is ADORABLE
- - - - -
[Office]
(Parker plants a bug on the back of a frame, sees someone at the door, pulls the flash drive from the laptop, and dives out the window)
[Exterior House]
(Eliot sees Parker falling toward him)
Eliot: Holy...
(Parker lands on Eliot, knocking him to the ground)
Eliot: Damn it, Parker. A little warning next time. How'd you even know I’d be there?
Parker: I didn't
eliot will always catch her because that’s just who he is
also, she just had blind faith that she’d be okay ??? like that’s just her way of thinking- act now, figure it out on the way down
she didn’t know eliot would be there, but that is the first time out of MANY for the rest of their lives that eliot is there to catch her when she falls
they don’t know it yet, but he’ll always be there to make sure she’s safe and sound
- - - - -
Nate: And besides, we're going with a much bigger scam. One of the classics.
Parker: The London Spank?
Hardison: The Genevan Paso Doble.
Eliot: The Apple Pie. (everyone looks at him questioningly) It's like the cherry pie, but with lifeguards.
Sophie: Ooh.
Nate: Glengarry Glen Death. It's like a-a mutual fund, but instead of stocks, you invest in--in death. (walks out on balcony)
Parker: I-Is it me, or is he getting creepier?
we love to hear all of the wacky con names
- - - - -
parker had like a million rubber bands around her fingers ??? maybe it’s a boredom thing that she does ???
- - - - -
Eliot: You know, we could get another chamber, and then put a brain with a tumor in that one and then send the signal to the monitor for this chamber. Cross the wires.
(everyone looks at him)
Eliot: What? I dated a neurologist.
(Sophie looks pleased)
he never said the gender (he often doesn’t when talking about his past lovers) and I stan him for that- also it lets us assume that some of them were men
ALSO
eliot really pays attention to his lovers! he listens to them about their jobs and their lives and it is shown many times throughout the series
- - - - -
Nate: What we need to do is, we need to secure this chamber and the one next to it, have to make sure that the coms work with the magnetic interference, set up a meeting with the Retzings. Somebody find me a brain.
Parker: Oh, yeah. He's definitely getting creepier
the way she says it in a sing song voice tho
- - - - -
(Eliot prepares the body as Hardison gets the shot ready. Hardison turns and holds the shot out to Eliot who takes it but hands it back)
Hardison: What? You.
Eliot: Go.
Hardison: What you mean, "go"?
Eliot: Because it was your idea.
Hardison: No. No. No. No. It's my information. It's Nate’s idea to do this nastiness.
(they both look at the body)
Eliot: Rock-Paper-Scissors?
(Hardison nods. Eliot sticks the shot into the body’s leg and they play two rounds of Rock-Paper-Scissors, Eliot watching Hardison’s face. Hardison loses)
Hardison: Well, I’ll be damned. How you do that?
Eliot: You got a tell.
(Eliot hands the shot to Hardison)
Hardison: I have a tell.
Eliot: Yeah.
Hardison: In Rock-Paper-Scissors?
Eliot: Yeah, go.
the first of MANY rock paper scissors disputes that always end up in eliot’s favor
- - - - -
(Parker joins Eliot and Hardison sitting on the MRI machine, listening. She gestures with her hands for the boys to scoot over so she can sit between them.)
how she gestures with her hands for them to move over and they immediately scoot so that she can sit in the middle ? iconic. beautiful. glorious.
- - - - -
Nate: Payout bonus kind of thing. (writing check) $100,000?
[MRI Room 1]
Parker: What is he doing?!
(Parker gets up angrily and heads for door, a moment later, Eliot follows her)
Hardison (to body): Sup?
[Hallway]
Nate: There you go (hands him check) 100G.
Dennis: I think this just might work out after all.
Sophie: With this money, you know, you can start your own company, just leave your father for good, hey?
(behind them in the hall, Parker comes out, headed for Nate. Eliot picks her up and carries her back out of sight)
chaotic ot3
- - - - -
Nate: Guys, you got to trust me, all right? You've trusted me before, and with your life.
Eliot (slams his hand down on the table): Not when you're drunk.
Nate: Oh, come on.
Eliot: You're not in control of yourself.
Nate: So, what, you're gonna control me? Is that it?
Eliot: Ah, I ain't your daddy. You can drink yourself into a coma as far as I’m concerned, but you take me down with you -- then it's my problem.
Nate: You know, you talk too much. You ought to just go skip some rope.
Eliot: What? What? (gets up angrily)
Nate: Skip some rope.
Eliot: You want me to skip something? (heads across the room)
Sophie: Hey, hey! (gets in front of Eliot)
Eliot: I'll skip your drunk ass off this marble floor
eliot wants everyone to be safe + you can tell he’s had troubled alcoholics making bad, endangering decisions in his past and eliot is not going to have that be in his life again
- - - - -
eliot was dressed like a true floridian in the bank scene- bulky, fake gold jewelry, sunglasses, check hawaiian shirt, etc
he was the og florida man
