notable moments from The Real Fake Car Job
leverage 5.07
me, 0.00000000000001 seconds into the episode: iS tHaT sHaGgY fRoM sCoObY dOO ???!!!
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Kyle: I just figured a guy like you would have, I don’t know, an office or something.
Nate: Oh, yeah, I tried it once. Had trouble keeping it in one piece
a little on the nose there
- - - - -
Hardison (controlling pictures on the display): I got the security-camera footage from Eagle Cove’s parking lot.
Eliot: Those guys are Federal Marshals. Hardison, zoom in on that gun right there. That’s a Glock 23, .40 caliber... standard-issue weapon of choice for Marshals Service
bitch it’s distinctive
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eliot’s car is literally the most inconspicuous ride E V E R
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Sophie: Look at the items confiscated after his arrest. There’s high-end art, properties all over the world, vintage cars... all seized and sold at government auction for pennies on the dollar. Somewhere in there is the thing he loves that’s been taken away forever.
Nate: Okay. Hardison, Parker, you’re on that.
(Parker nods)
her W I N K at hardison
- - - - -
Parker: Cool. (throws a bag of garbage into the van)
Hardison: Looks like it’s just a bunch of car-restoration shows, some soap operas... embarrassing. What you doing?
Parker: Got his garbage. Garbage is always best.
Hardison: I just had Lucille detailed! Oh, are you kidding me? Get... girl... Is that seafood I smell?
Parker: I don’t... yeah, a little... whew
let lucielle live
- - - - -
(Erickson places a ‘Wifi password $5’ sign over the ‘Free Wifi’ sign)
Erickson (to customer): It just means that it’s available.
Customer (hands him $5): Mm.
Erickson: Thank you. (pockets money) So, the password..
woW HES A PIECE OF SHIT
- - - - -
(Eliot and Hardison are crouched in some greenery)
Hardison: Hey, easier done than said, man. Craigslist. One simple ad, and these rare-car guys will flock to any empty lot just for a peek at a vintage carburetor.
Eliot: Owner’s heading out of town.
(Owner exits house)
Hardison: He won some trip... all expenses paid to Bora-Bora.
Eliot: He’s a lucky man.
(Owner gets into car and drives away)
their smug looks as they crouch in the bushes together
chaotic boyfriends
- - - - -
(Eliot approaches garage doors)
Hardison: Oh, hey, hey, hey.
(Eliot hesitates, then opens the garage door to reveal a Packard Coupe)
Hardison: No way am I giving up this life to be an ordinary person.
Eliot: Did you talk to Parker about that?
Hardison: What you mean... why would I... No, she’s the least ordinary person I know... you know. Shoot. Wait. Do I have to talk to her about stuff like...
Eliot: Yeah.
Hardison: ‘Cause I... You know what? Just forget it. Let’s get to work
eliot talking to hardison about his relationship with parker? ot3 vibes?
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parker’s become so good at grifting I’m so proud of her
+ SHES SO CUTE IN THAT FLOWERY DRESS AND FLOPPY HAT IM G A Y
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they baked the marshall a fucking FRUITCAKE
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Sophie: They always throw out the cake, but they keep the tray.
this show has so many good tidbits
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Hardison (laughs): Just all up in each other’s business 24/7. Nothing to do.
Parker: I could never retire. Could you... would you ever...
Hardison (quickly): Mnh-mnh. Mm. No, hell, no.
Parker: Good. Good.
Hardison: Are you sure you...
Parker: Mm. Good. Then we’re on the same page.
Hardison: Eliot told you.
Parker: You were flailing just a little bit.
Hardison: A skosh?
Parker: Yeah, a skosh
the three of them look out for each other and I love that for them
- - - - -
(Sophie and Eliot walk across the parking lot with a shopping cart full of miscellaneous equipment, an axe and a shovel that they begin putting into the trunk of Eliot’s car)
Sophie: She there?
Eliot: Yeah, she’s in the back of the parking lot, watching us like a hawk.
(Marshal Rose is watching from across the lot)
Sophie: Are we being suspicious enough?
(Eliot hands her the axe)
Sophie: Never mind.
(Marshal Rose continues to watch as they load the car)
Sophie: So, what do you think you’re gonna do after all this is done?
Eliot: Always wanted to open up my own restaurant. Now I’m probably gonna get stuck making sure Hardison’s doesn’t go out of business. Throw a couple of drunks out every once in a while. Maybe the place will get robbed once a year.
anyone remember that meme where you try to buy five things that scares the cashier the most? their haul gives those vibes.
+
eliot deep down you KNOW hardison got the brewpub for you because he loves you
ALSO bby has a simple retirement plan bless his soul
- - - - -
(Sophie looks at a coil of rope)
Eliot: Don’t- don’t use that.
Sophie: Hmm?
Eliot: For future references, you can chew right through it.
Sophie: Huh. (puts rope into the trunk) Any other tips from back in the day, when you used to... (makes slashing motion across her neck) people?
(Eliot walks around the car while Sophie pushes the cart away. Marshal Rose watches as they enter the vehicle)
again, another good tidbit from leverage, you never know when you need knowledge like that
- - - - -
(Sophie watches Eliot digging a hole)
Eliot: After sunset, this field is gonna be completely dark. No clear sight lines from the road. First thing to find a body out here would be a coyote...
Sophie: Okay. Now I’m scared.
Eliot: I’m here.
Sophie: Eliot. You’re what’s scaring me.
(Marshal Rose approaches through the grass, watching and listening)
Sophie: So, just for argument’s sake, which one of us do you think would cope better? You know, with being an ordinary person? You know, without going... mad?
Eliot: Me. (continues digging)
Sophie: Really? ‘Cause, um... well, you know, I was thinking me.
Eliot (firm): It’s me.
lmfao sometimes eliot really doesn’t know when to Stop™
he’s trying his best, your honor
- - - - -
Sophie: The South entrance will be clear in 10 seconds.
(Eliot punches each of the men, knocking them out)
Sophie: Make it five
my aesthetic is it being only one punch of eliot’s that takes a goon out
- - - - -
Parker: You think it’ll work?
Nate: It has to.
Hardison: What will work?
Nate: Lots of cars in the ‘30s were diesels. They would run on vegetable oil. We’re gonna fuel up the Packard and try to...
Hardison: The car?! The car that’s all the way over there?! You mean we got to run over there and get in the car, drive through a gunfight, and pray that it’s bulletproof like the Batmobile?!
(a bullet ricochets nearby)
Hardison: Okay, I’m in. Let’s go. Go, go.
let hardison rest pls he’s baby
- - - - -
Sophie: I couldn’t help overhearing what you said in the warehouse about putting the past behind you.
Nate: I had a gun to my head.
Sophie: This is our bar. I’m sure I can rustle up a gun somewhere.
Nate: Mm. You were wrong about one thing.
Sophie: Really? Because I couldn’t possibly be right, could I?
Nate (leans closer): Wanting to move on with or without you... it matters. We matter
wow nate/sophie stans really kept winning this season