𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫. | 𝐋𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐱 (𝐟𝐞𝐦!) 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 |
[ “𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝘄𝗲 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗹𝗼𝘀𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿?” ]
𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: 𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐝𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭, 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠
synopsis: You're pretty good at sticking to rules. Always have been. And for the past three years you would think that you've been good enough to stick to the rules of being a roommate.
Rule number one: Don’t fall in love. Under any circumstances.
Rule number two: Follow to rule number one.
Easy enough to follow.
Right?
series | previous chapter | next chapter
Chapter 4: April.
cw: suggestive themes, 18+
“Levi! Come look at this rock!”
Levi comes to a stop. He’s only a little ahead of you and yet you can already imagine the frown on his face before he turns.
“Why? So you can throw it at me? That’s attempted murder.” He deadpans.
You snorted aloud, watching him stroll over to you with his hands in his pockets.
“Hey, don’t start giving me ideas, not when we’re getting along so well. I might just use it against you, and it’s not attempted if I succeed.”
“Too bad we’re in the open. Save it for later.” Levi turns to make his way back to the path but he stops again. “Who said that we were getting along well?”
“Well, you stopped calling me an idiot for one. That really annoyed me at one point.”
Levi snorts. “I’d like to see you try and pick that shit up anyways… idiot.”
“Hange’ll help me.” You say, purposely ignoring his insult.. At your comment Levi merely rolled his eyes as, unfortunately, you had a point.
If anything Hange would agree to any stupid thing you’d say. Together you were like tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum…only twice as worse. If Levi could prevent one moment from happening, it would have been the moment that the two of you met. If he’d known that you and Hange would live up to the expectations of making Levi’s life a pure hell, he wouldn't have taken you over to Hange’s house that day.
You laugh out loud suddenly, as if you had read Levi’s personal thoughts. “Don’t tell me you actually think we’ll carry this out.”
“Wouldn’t beat it past you.” Levi spoke, turning around and heading back to the path. You follow him diligently, wanting to keep up with him.
You quickly join his side abruptly bumping into his side. With this action you smoothly link arms with him. For a second you feel his body go stiff, freezing up in surprise but shockingly he doesn’t seem to protest by it.
You lean into him slightly as you tease. “Don’t worry, I don’t plan on murdering my favorite roommate just yet.”
Now it’s his turn to laugh as you both walk down the path together, taking a slow pace.
“Okay one: I’ve been your only roommate… two: ‘just yet’?... I may as well take your guilty ass down to the police station myself.”
You shrug casually, ignoring his last threat. “One: Not many people have had the ability to earn the title of favorite roommate, so be grateful you jackass… and two: sure, I’ll give you credit for being the first but what about when I move out?”
Levi frowns almost immediately, a horrible taste in his mouth at the slight proposal of your last point. Levi feels his stomach suddenly drop and he tries to keep a light hearted tone in his voice as he questions you further. “What’d you mean when you move out?”
“After I murder you, I’ll need to find a new roommate of course, I can’t pay rent by myself.”
Levi rolls his eyes again but this time his shoulders seem to drop with a sort of internal relief. Levi hopes you won’t bring that up again, not even as a joke. He’s not looking forward to that conversation. Not for a long time anyways.
“So you’ll go off and find a new victim?”
“Something like that, although I don’t think anyone else will be as annoying as you.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.” Levi scoffs in reply.“And where exactly are you planning to hide my body?”
“Not sure.” You murmur softly. “Wanna help me with ideas?”
“Fuck no.”
You pull a frown. “I want to find a comfortable spot for you.”
“Comfortable? I’m dead.”
“Whatever, I still want to keep your soul in peace y’know?”
“You are absolutely fucking ridiculous.” Levi mutters. “I should’ve recorded this so that I can prove to the whole world how fucking crazy you are.”
“They would never believe you.” You taunt. “Plus it was you who made the suggestion in the first place, doofus.”
“Are you sure about that?” Levi asks, tilting his head to look over at you. You notice his dark locks falling gently beneath his brow.
“Positive.”
Letting out a giggle and him a withdrawn scoff you continue to stroll down the path, arms still linked with his.
The local park was pretty quiet, give or take for a few lonesome people. You put this to the responsibility of the gloom of rain clouds approaching your overhead. You and Levi both randomly agreed to go out for a walk to clear your minds from rotting in the apartment all day. But it was suggested to you in particular.
Over the past few days Levi had noticed how you had been cooped up in your room all day, waiting for a text back from… him.
Earlier, Levi had thought for a second that you were alluding to about moving out to go live with Daniel. It was simply a joke. You didn’t even explicitly mention Daniel at all but it didn’t take long for Levi to quickly jump to conclusions.
Although you’d played it off as a lighthearted joke Levi would be lying if he said that he wasn’t worried about it turning to reality one day.
But who is he kidding? You’re only roommates. Friends even. Not…lovers. He has no right to get upset about what you choose to do in the future.
It’d be wrong to think of you as his. Completely wrong. And it’d be wrong to think of the ways you’d touch him. Particularly, late at night when he can’t sleep he’s conjuring up the ways that you would please him. It’s certainly wrong to think of you with his fist wrapped around his cock, imagining that it was yours.
How would you react?
Would you be gentle with him?
How would you sound when he touches you?
How would you sound when he enters you for the first time? When he fills you up? How would he feel when you're clenched around him? And what would the look on your face be when you–
Fuck, fuck, fuck, he shouldn’t be thinking that. Not when you’re right next to him.
“Are you alright?” You ask, noticing Levi’s silence. You felt his body suddenly stiffen.
“Yeah, yeah.” He plays off, trying to fixate his mind on anything, anything at all. Anything but you. In order to succeed in this, he thinks of the worst thing possible. And it seems to do the trick on getting his past thoughts to evaporate.
“Have you heard back from–”
He doesn’t even need to finish the sentence to get you to understand what he’s trying to say. Levi can barely say his name, mentally cursing himself for bringing him up. This walk was supposed to be an attempt to get your mind off him.
Lately, Levi’s noticed how you linger around your phone. Constantly refreshing your screen in the hope of receiving an immediate notification.
You shake your head beside him. Levi notices your facial expression drop at the topic of conversation and a sea of regret floods his entire body.
“No but…” you pause, taking a moment to search for some words. “I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation.”
“It wouldn’t be reasonable enough.” Levi mutters under his breath, and he succeeds in getting a small smirk from you. The two of you continue to walk at a slow pace down the path, a comfortable silence emerging.
“I know you hate him.”
“What made that obvious?”
You chuckle at the sound of Levi’s sarcastic tone. “From the moment he came into the apartment and forgot to take his shoes off I knew that he would never be able to live up to your expectations ever again.”
Levi huffed, as if the remembrance of that occasion physically pained him.
“But I’m sure he’s learned his lesson by now. You probably scared him off with all your glaring.”
“I was not glaring.”
“Oh yeah? And the sky is purple.”
“I didn’t say a word to him.”
“You didn’t have to.” you remarked. “It was obvious by your face that you didn’t like him.”
“That’s not my problem.”
“Try and tone it down next time.” you sigh. “I really do want to make it work with him y’know?”
“I know.” Levi says, a random feeling of dejection in his heart and it takes all of him not to add to the end of that sentence ‘but you deserve so much better.’
A crease appears between his brows at your words of a ‘next time.’
Levi hopes there won’t be a next time. Deep down he hopes that there won’t be another time of Daniel coming over invading Levi’s personal space with his shitty jokes and pathetic conversation. He hopes there won’t be a next time of witnessing how Daniel eagerly tries to show off constantly to try and win your heart, blissfully unaware that you deeply dislike it.
He hopes there won’t be a next time when Daniel comes to stay over for the night and Levi is left to hear your muffled moans through the walls. It’s a violent reminder that he’s not getting the privilege of knowing you intimately. He hopes there isn’t a next time where he has to watch Daniel sneak out through the front door, not bothering to wait until you wake with claims of work at his excuse.
Levi truly hopes that there won’t be a time where he watches your innocent heart get played with.
“Ducks.” you say randomly, causing Levi to emerge from his thoughts.
“What?”
You’ve both now reached the lake that stretches wide and far, creating an oval shape in the center of the park. Over to the right there’s a bridge that leads to the other side of the park.
“Ducks.” You repeat, now delving your hands in your pockets to look for your phone. “Lemme take a picture.”
“Swans.” Levi points out impassively.
“And ducks. Same thing.”
“Hardly.”
You ignore his last comment as your thumb clicks the white circle, taking multiple photos of the scenery despite the gray sky and all.
“Take one with me in it.” You turn towards him, holding out your phone to him. For a few seconds he merely stares at your phone in silent protest. You tilt your head in pure persuasion. “Pretty please?”
He rolls his eyes, unable to resist your somewhat adorable charm.
“Whatever.” He mumbles taking your phone as you walk ahead of him ready to pose. Levi sighed before tilting your phone landscape to get a full view of the lake and the swans behind you.
“Smile.” he deadpanned before focusing on taking the photo.
A cheesy grin spread across your face, your hands gesturing towards the swans and ducks. Levi couldn’t help but shake his head at the way you posed bashfully.
“Are you finished?” he mutters, after you start changing poses numerous times. “I think your storage is full.”
Your face drops. “Wait really?” And in a blink of an eye you’re by his side with a concerned look on your face as you glance at your phone screen. “Wait where?”
It then dawns on you that he just wanted you to stop.
“Fuck you.”
“It was for your own reputation. Murderers can’t be seen making goofy poses in the local park.”
“They were not goofy–”
Your argument soon gets interrupted by a stranger approaching and you could tell someone was coming based on the way Levi’s eyes squinted behind you and how his teasing expression began to disappear.
You turned to see an elderly woman, who you assume to be out on possibly on her daily walk.
“Excuse me, but I couldn’t help but admire the two of you and I was wondering if you would like me to take a picture of you and your boyfriend?”
The question makes you double take immediately. Your cheeks grow warm and you stutter for an answer as you and Levi both go silent.
“Oh, no he’s not my–” you begin before you’re interrupted by Levi.
“Sure.”
Levi hands her the phone, your phone, and the two of you both shuffle backwards,
At first you’re unsure of how to pose but quickly relax and wrap an arm around Levi’s waist. Once again, you can feel how his body stiffens yet he ends up positioning his arms around your shoulders.
“Thank you!” you say, taking back the phone after she had taken a few pictures.
“The two of you remind me of my late husband and I. We met when we were quite young and we’d come to this park almost every day together.” As she comes to a pause, she bows her head making your heart ache for her as she remembers her gone soulmate.
“Keep each other close and don’t take each other for granted.” The older woman murmurs her advice. “You two are a beautiful couple. Please cherish every moment you spend together and don’t regret it.”
“Oh uh– thank you.” You nod, the idea of breaking the truth now a thought that you had pushed away.
You nudged Levi discreetly, who was listening silently with a blank expression, to say his gratitude. You wave at the woman who shuffles away, heading over to the bridge.
For a moment, there was a silence between you and Levi. Neither of you are sure how to carry on from that experience.
You take the opportunity to go first. “Why would you say that?”
Levi shrugs, “It’d be more embarrassing for us if we had to explain ourselves. It’s not like it’s the first time people have assumed, so I just thought to let it–be.”
You nod slowly, coming to realize that he’s right.
It was an honest and harmless mistake and that lady was not the first to think that you and Levi were more than just roommates or friends. It has gotten pretty exhaustive and repetitive to state your friendship so now, you don’t really care about the assumptions that people make about the two of you and by the looks of it…neither does he.
A small smile reaches your lips before carrying on with your stoll and in silence the two of you admire the lake which stretches to the other half of the park. On approaching the bridge, dark clouds of rain seem to be heading your way and this is the moment where you internally curse yourself for not bringing an umbrella.
“Maybe…we should start heading back to the car.” You suggest, anxious of the heavy shade of gray that looms over you.
“I second that.” Levi murmurs, beside you. “Let’s head back.”
Making a U-turn, the two of you decide to leave the opportunity to explore the other side of the park for another day as your weather app informs of heavy rain to begin in the next ten minutes which will continue for the rest of the afternoon.
You’re a little deflated, disappointed that your day had to come to a short end. Making your way back to the car, you and Levi briskly walk in an attempt to make it back to the apartment with your bodies as dry as possible but once you felt a large raindrop fall onto your skin, you knew that the raingods had come to curse you.
“Fuck’s sake.” you mutter underneath your breath, eyes watching the once dry pavement beneath your feet soon become patterned with raindrops. In a rush, Levi grabs your hand fiercely, taking you by surprise as he continues his pace despite the rain beginning to unleash its worst.
For a second he was optimistic. Thinking that perhaps this would be a slow start before the real downpour was set but his thinking has failed him as the light raindrops turn heavy and every inch of his body seems to become an antonym to the word dry.
You pull at his hand which causes him to abruptly halt for a moment to turn and look at you.
And by god were you a sight for sore eyes.
Your face is dripping with rain, clothes dark with precipitation and your waterproof mascara suddenly not living up to its name. It’s more than obvious that you needed to get somewhere dry. You both are in need of it.
Levi looks around, scanning for a place where the two of you can find shelter, the number of people in the park now becoming scarce. Unfortunately, there’s no buildings nearby but Levi spots a large oak tree whose branches seem to provide a decent enough roof for the two of you.
His hand, albeit wet, is still tightly wrapped around yours, guiding you to the tree as you try to blink away the on coming raindrops from your eyes. It doesn’t take long for the two of you to reach your safe haven whilst the rain is still smacking against the concrete.
Contrastingly, the ground is soft underneath your feet and you can feel yourself slightly sink a little into the ground with each step. Levi, of course, makes his complaints known by cursing as loudly as he can over the rushing sound of rainfall.
“Shit, I didn’t know this would be muddy. Maybe we should go somewhere else?” His eyes were already searching for a new location, a location with shelter and of appropriate ground.
You shake your head, raindrops falling from your head. “It’s fine, I don’t want to go back out there again.”
Although the leaves of the oak tree aren’t completely dense, you’re still glad that the amount of raindrops that are now falling on you has now slowed to a much relaxed pace.
You sniffle a little, wiping off the raindrops from your face, trying as much as you can to dry yourself up but you don’t seem to get much luck from your otherwise soaked sleeves.
“You alright?” Levi asks. And now you can hear his voice a little better as the volume of the rain has quietened down.
You nod wordlessly, straining your clothes from any damp, watching as water is squeezed out of your materials. You curse aloud, only now realizing the extent of being in the rain without the umbrella. You’ll just have to manifest to the universe tonight that you won’t catch a cold but you can’t completely disregard that consequence.
“Take this.” Levi mutters before taking off his black jacket. “I mean it’s pretty soaked, but you should stay warm. You don’t want to be catching a cold.”
You smirk a little at his offer. “I’m pretty sure it’s set in stone by now, don’t worry. You should keep it on, you might catch a cold.”
“Says the one whose immune system is weaker than an egg shell.”
You roll your eyes. “Alright jerk, just ‘cause you only get sick approximately every 5 years.”
You expected a laugh from him, maybe even an insult but instead you watch the frown on his face grow deeper, him still gesturing for you to take his jacket. “You’re shivering. Take it.” His tone is a little more forceful and before you could even respond, you found comforting material wrapped around your shoulders.
It's only now that you're aware of the sudden close proximity between the two of you. His features are somehow more prominent in the rain. The front locks of his jet black hair have raindrops dripping down onto his face, dripping from his nose and sliding down his cheeks to meet his sharp jawline.
Somehow the rain just makes him look even more…attractive.
“Levi, I’m fine I swear.” You grumble, trying to distract your mind as the warmth from his body transitions to yours. Your retaliations are continuously ignored, leaving you no choice but to accept the gesture gratefully.
“Thanks.”
Levi’s eyes meet yours. “No problem.”You blink and you’re suddenly lost in them.
The gray of his iris mixed with a hint of light blue, which is apparent if you squint and you can’t help but worship their beauty.Your eyes move to glance at his lips. Pink and plump, with water dripping from his cupid’s bow. You’re not really sure why your eyes suddenly fixate on those, but your heart does seem to race faster and all of a sudden you’re now wondering how soft he would feel against your own lips, your own skin.
Looking back at him, he’s still fixated on you and the two of you are stuck like a photo in time. The only thing that reinforces the notion that you’re not living in a freeze frame is the rush of downpour that streams behind you.
Swallowing thickly, you just wonder…whether…maybe…if you just leaned in to –
You clear your throat suddenly, stepping back and sniffing. You turn away to wipe the tip of your nose.
No. Absolutely not. Get that thought out of your head.
“Sick already?” Levi presumes and there’s a hint of playfulness in his voice.
“Yeah, yeah.” You brush off. “Do you think it’ll ever calm down?”
The rush of downpour continues to aggravate the stone pavement, water dripping off the leaves above.
“Should do.”
“Or should we just run for it?”
“You’ll get sick.”
“Which is inevitable either way I’m sure.” you shrug.
Levi raises a brow. “You sure?”
“Undoubtedly sure.”
“You’ll regret it.”
Rolling your eyes, you begin to step forward where the downpour of rain doesn’t hesitate in drenching you again. “Are you coming or not, Ackerman?”
Rolling his eyes, he follows you, making a mental reminder in his mind to get his favorite stash of tea out when you both get home. Immediately.
And boy, did you regret it.
There’s nothing more you hate in life than being constrained to your bed, with endless tissues that come with an endless amount of sneezes and snot. Not to mention the sore throat or the banging headache that returns every hour even after taking medicine.
But what you hated the most was having to deal with a smugass roommate whom you had to rely on for basic needs. After multiple ‘I told you so’s’ and his own endless amount of complaints and criticism for you, you decided to fulfill his ego and express your regret for your decision.
It was bad enough that you were sick but now you had Levi taking care of you. You were currently under the pretense that he absolutely hated every single moment which, unbeknownst to you, was terribly false.
Entering your room with your third cup of tea this morning, he caught you in the midst of a sneezing fit whilst placing the steaming hot china cup down on your bedside table. And of course he loudly grimaced as he did so.
“Shut up.” you groan, your voice croaky from your illness.
“I–”
“I told you so, yeah, yeah are you finished?”
Levi frowned. “I was going to say that I could get you another pack of tissues if you wanted them?”
“Oh.” you say dumbly. “Right. That would be great thanks.”
Levi quickly disappeared from your room and arrived by the next minute, a new pack of tissues in his hands.
“Sorry.” You mumble, accepting the package.
“It’s fine.”
“It’s really not.” you sigh. “I’ve got you running around the house like a madman all because I’m sick.”
“Again.”
“Again.” you repeat, a small smile appearing across your lips.
“Thank you.” you say, after a long pause of silence.
“For what?”
You roll your eyes, honestly sometimes you really want to smack Levi against the wall. He can be so dense, which is surprising for someone who has achieved the highest grade possible at university.
“For this.” you gesture around. “For helping me out.”
He shrugged. “Nothing I haven’t done before.”
You hummed, “I’m getting pretty used to having you as my slave, maybe I won’t kill you at all.”
Levi clicked his tongue. “Don’t get too comfortable, princess.”
Whether it was the pet name or your fever spiking up again– though you wish to believe the latter– your cheeks suddenly burned and you looked away in hidden embarrassment. You cleared your throat before speaking again.
“I really do mean it though, thank you.”
Levi sat on the edge of your bed. “It’s the bare minimum I can do as your roommate.”
There it goes again. Your constant reminder.
You’re roommates, nothing more, nothing less. At the end of the day, you’re around each other merely because of a single contract.
You’re roommates, this is normal, the bare minimum.
This is what friends do. Not lovers.
Yet… you can’t stop yourself from thinking about if you were. Shaking your head you attempt to pull that thought out of your head. No, no, no, you’re with Daniel. Thinking about Levi? That would be wrong.
But could it be so wrong that he’s the only thing that you can think about late at night?
When you touch yourself underneath the sheets, it’s Levi’s name that you moan softly to yourself, fantasizing over the ways he would touch you. It’s embarrassing to admit but… Daniel’s never managed to please you properly. The only way that you can reach your full release is by imagining if it was Levi.
But it was wrong. So wrong. Yet, you couldn’t stop yourself from wondering.
How would he touch you? What would he feel like? Would he be soft and gentle with you or the complete opposite? What would he sound like when he–
You inhale sharply which catches Levi’s attention.
“You okay?” He asks.
You nod. “Just really cold.” You play off, trying to get rid of that dirty thought about your roommate.
You couldn’t. You were loyal to Daniel, even if he seems to take weeks to respond.
You couldn’t ever because you’re pretty sure Levi doesn’t even feel the same way.
If he did then you would’ve known by now. There would’ve been a hint.
You think back to Valentine’s day. Perhaps if you didn’t have a date with Daniel would he have asked you out?
No. Don’t be stupid. You are roommates.
The number one rule of being roommates is universal: Don’t fall in love with each other.
Snapping you back to reality, Levi picks up the cup of tea on your bedside table.
You cough a little. “Levi, I’m fine, really. You don’t need to babysit me.”
“You can’t murder me if you’re sick right?”
You laugh, which soon falls to a series of heavy coughs. With his free hand, Levi rubs reassuring circles on your back, once you’re alright he holds out the teacup for you to sip. You do so obediently, the hot liquid satisfying your body. You let out a deep exhale, reclining back into your bed.
“So when I get better you’ll watch out?”
He nods, smirking a little. “I’ll always watch out for you. Always.”
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