#liberatedentry

[liberated-mind]

Growth?

Growing up isn't fun for me right now. I try to use my leadership skills and be a positive person while doing so, but for some reason, my efforts are misunderstood or backfire. It seems as though my life is falling apart right before me and I don't know how to get a grip. I won't stop trying though. I will not give up.

[liberated-mind]

Relationships in College,

I'm caught between “If I want it, go get it” and “If it’s meant to be, it will be”. Why must things be so complicated? Why must pride be so strong? — I sometimes wonder if relationships in college really do prosper.. or if the thought that every guy is trying to “explore” and stick his thing into everything a fearful driving force as to why I can’t take any of them seriously. I wonder, hold back and might miss out on opportunities for growth, evolution and new found love because of that. Hmm.

[liberated-mind]

Self-embrace

On the journey to embracing my curves again. I've always had hips, thighs and a little belly, and for the most part, I liked it (not the belly part so much), but I remember reaching such a place of contentment with myself, it was amazing. Somewhere along the line, I started a new season with someone whom didn't see what I saw when I looked in the mirror. He saw curves and shape as "fat", and how that somehow influenced the way I viewed my natural body structure, is shameful. Now, I feel as though I can't look in the mirror without noticing a "flaw". In reality, there's nothing at all "flawed" and to the right individual, I'm more than perfect.

Moral of the story is don't let these fuck boys change the way you view anything, especially yourself. I'm beautiful, thickness and all.

[liberated-mind]

Mixed Signals,

I was sure. I was so sure. I let go because I thought I was sure. I was sure of my confusion and sure that you said you “didn’t want anything serious”. The time we spent was amazing, but I could not allow myself to fall for someone who told me upfront where they stood… I’d be naive. But since I walked away, you realize (now) that you wanted more? It’s even more confusing because you obviously don’t know what you want.

I can’t sit around while you figure that out.

[liberated-mind]

Facebook tho(ugh)t,

Beautiful black woman, why do you take photographs that expose your bust and rear end? Neglecting your beautiful face for the attention of... men? More like b o y s. Your physical assets aren't the most prominent aspects of you. Your face, your intellect, your attitude; all of which are beautiful.

[liberated-mind]

It's coo,

Roommate just made stir fry for her and on/off again boyfriend and didn't even ask if I was hungry or even wanted any. I have to understand that not everyone is going to be considerate like me. I could never chef up a meal and not at least ask if you want any. You could've been starving all day for all I know. After all the gas I wasted gas picking her up when her boyfriend was going to leave her stranded after night classes.

*waits for pork chops to finish thawing*

[liberated-mind]

I love with no expectation. I love without expecting. My love is deep. My love is whole. I speak life, inspiration and wisdom into your spirit. A love like that is beyond rare. Once it's gone, it's gone.

[liberated-mind]

Sometimes,

Sometimes I wish I was a guy. Guys (at least it seems) have it easier emotionally. Either that or they do a damn good job at concealing it. I don't see how guys can have sex with no emotional attachment and have a girl trust and fall for them without one care given. I don't see it. I just cut someone off the other day that I actually liked and that alone hurt my heart (mind you, he wasn't even my man). I ran before it got too deep.

I don't know. I just wish I was a guy sometimes. They seem to have their emotional ish together... better.