A couple days prior to the school trip to Baile, after finishing today's lessons with Wolf, Joachim suddenly straightens his back, expression serious as he addresses the man.
“Can I ask you for a favor, Wolf?” he starts. “I'll be gone for a few days on the ship to Baile. I don't know if my friend Estel is coming along, but if she isn't, I want you to keep an eye on her where I can't.”
In Joachim's ideal world, the two would be going together. They would be close, just in case. It's a mixture of emotions: loneliness and distrust both. But Joachim doesn't know this guarantee anymore. Houses separate, and the paths of childhood friends feels more distant than they ever have before.
“She's a rabbit with white hair and yellow eyes. She's attending the academy, but she's not in the Blue Lions house,” he tries to describe her to the best of his abilities, but even this reveals to himself how little he knows about her daily routine compared to before. Lupine ears droop in the melancholic epiphany that overtakes him, but he presses onwards. “I... I don't want her to get caught up in trouble. She's strong, but...”
(That's what makes her dangerous?)
He hesitates here, not feeling right speaking his full mind and its concerns to Wolf even as he tries to enlist the man, Wolf being the one he feels the most up to the task of all the people he knows. Because, at the end of the day, even if he fears the worst enough to make his knuckles go white at his sides, feeling terribly powerless like this, Estel was still his best friend.
No matter what, he hates the idea of speaking a bad word about her.
“... if she gets into trouble, I want you to stop her. Please,” he decides. “But be kind to her otherwise. She's easily excitable and embarrassed... Though I don't really get what causes that sometimes.”
It's in saying this, in indulging these thoughts about happier sides to her, that gets Joachim to lighten up ever so slightly at last in his heartfelt plea.
In the back of Wolf's mind, he wonders what makes his student's words come out in such a steady flow. Is it because he thinks the answer is a given, or because he has no faith in it at all? Or is it nothing to do with Wolf entirely, and more so what it is he's asking? The fact that he's asking at all?
Mostly he wonders if Joachim knows it would be a given. It's nothing worth interrupting him over, so he answers with rapt attention and no answer at all, sharp eyes slid over a bow, string and hands drawn still. He knows about the trip to Baile -- between the ruckus of spoiled deliveries and people turning up their noses at any hint of weaponry, it's been hard to miss. If it weren't for Ephraim though, he might not have learned about the church's somewhat fraught history of... pursuits. Standing here now, connecting the two, the horseman wonders for the first time if he should have tried harder to earn a spot on the ship.
None of this he says aloud, keeping the silence when Joachim makes it, allowing him to be the one that breaks it. Rabbit, huh? He suspects this friend of his won't have too much competition for the descriptor, but he takes note of the rest anyway, the same way he notes the slightly longer spaces between the boy's words, or the whitening of his knuckles.
It means a lot to Joachim. He'll remember it.
Then he continues, and there's a flash in Wolf's eyes, a peek of something left raw, something that still bleeds through the tired, callused hands that close over the wounds.
"...if she gets into trouble--"
'If I should wander from the path of the righteous--'
"--I want you to stop her. Please."
'--please... lead me back onto it.'
He almost misses the rest of what Joachim says through the jolt, throat bobbing slightly, subtly, with a breath he can't quite swallow. The sounds of the things Joachim said run back in the archer's mind until they become words again, deciphered into the request they were meant to be. His expression smooths, the change of it little more than a passing shudder, though it leaves it not quite the same. Less guarded now, perhaps -- open like a hurt, tender like a bruise, glossed over imperfectly like a bad habit.
"Yeah," he says at first, a blunt answer with still-rough edges that catch a bit on the lump in his throat. He manages to swallow that. This isn't a death sentence. No, this is...
...this is what he wishes he could have done. (There's a crack in his chest.) What he will do for Joachim, if he has to. (He hopes he doesn't.) Even the kindness part. Even though he's never been good at that. The silence stretches out again, and he doesn't realize he's cracking the shadow of a smile, more ache than anything else, but still there.
"I swear to you, Joachim." All the jagged edges wear away from his voice, full and serious. "I'll stop her if she gets into trouble. And I..." He pauses to sigh, a shred of worry evidenced by the way he finally rakes a hand through the slighter side of his bangs. "I'll try... I'll be kind."
It's there that his eyes flit to meet Joachim's again, an intensity to their force and color that he hasn't worn since he left the Wolfguard.
"You come back safe." Sharp, vivid, resolute -- and then it eases into something more familiar, something more... ...or maybe just something less. Something the way he always is, these days. Not through any fault of Joachim's own; it was dying before he'd even boarded the boat to Fódlan.
"...Is that her?" He resumes examining his bow. "The friend whose archery you wanted to match."















