So this is the last bit from NaNo that is actually in chronological order. It's a wee bit angsty because, you know, Ben. It's a little over 1,700 words, so much longer than the last one. And as always unedited.
When Ben pushed open the doors to the lunch room he was disappointed to find that the kid wasn’t there, but the guys who had helped him the day before were, along with a few others. And since not many kids showed up early at this school, every eye looked up when he walked through the door. He scowled and moved towards a corner table. Unfortunately James had other plans.
“Ben!” he called, hopping over one of the tables and coming towards Ben. “Hey man, you should come and hang with us.” He smiled at Ben.
“Fuck off,” said Ben, walking right past James.
“Come on man.” James moved in front of Ben and walked backwards. “You can’t sit by yourself all the time.”
Ben didn’t say anything just kept walking until he got the corner table and set his backpack down on it. This guy was seriously annoying. Ben could tell he was going to be a pain in the ass. He pulled out a chair and sat down, sulking. His mouth fell open slightly when James pulled out a chair and sat down next to him.
“Would you just leave me alone,” said Ben, glaring at him.
“Nope.”
Ben made a frustrated noise and laid his head on the table. If James wouldn’t leave him alone, then Ben would just pretend that he wasn’t there. He closed his eyes. Maybe James would leave and he could get a little more sleep before class.
“So you’re from Australia?”
Ben mentally rolled his eyes, but didn’t move.
“You ever get a kangaroo in your backyard?”
No response.
“Was Steve Irwin your hero?”
Ben turned his head to look at James, glaring up at him and ground his teeth together. “Mate, fuck off.”
James face split into a grin. “Aw man you called me mate. Does that mean we’re friends?”
“No.”
“I think it does.”
Ben groaned and pressed his face against the table. “Go away.”
“Nah.”
If Ben hadn’t been so damn tired he would have been angry at James's insistence on bugging him, as it was he could only muster up mild annoyance. It became more than mild, however, when he heard voices and more chairs pulled out around the table they were at. He lifted his head, frowning. Wes, Luke, Shane, along with a well dressed brunette girl, and a short little blonde girl had all come up to the table and sat down.
“This is Dani and Kaitlin. Ladies, this is Ben.”
“Hi.”
“Hello.”
Ben grunted.
“Ben’s our new friend.”
“I am not your friend,” Ben protested.
“Sorry, no refunds,” said James, grinning.
Ben started at James, brow furrowed and mouth open.
“Trust me, we’ve all tried,” said Dani dryly.
She had an accent, English most likely, and Ben shifted his attention to her. Both of the girls were really pretty. Dani was classy, well dressed, and Ben was sure her family was well off. Kaitlin was kind of a tomboy, but still cute, and Ben was pretty sure she was on the volley ball team.
“Don’t think you tried too hard,” teased Shane.
He and Luke were both dressed in heavy duty work pants, plaid shirts, and dirty baseball hats. And James and Wes were dressed in nice jeans and button up shirts. Ben was suddenly very aware of his ratty clothes. His jeans were frayed, his shirt was thin, his sneakers were falling apart, and his jacket was old and too big for him. Luke and Shane’s clothes might have been dirty, but Ben knew that those heavy duty work clothes weren’t cheap. All of these guys came from families that were much better off than Ben’s.
The despair he’d been feeling over his poor state suddenly turned to anger. They were probably using him as their project, their good deed to make themselves look good. Help out the poor and troubled kid, maybe throw some money at him, and then boast about how good of a person they were. Well he wasn’t anyone’s damn project. He wasn’t something on a list that you could check off so you could feel good about yourself or go to heaven or whatever.
Ben’s face twisted into a snarl and he stood up abruptly, the chair making a horrible noise as it scraped across the tile of the floor, interrupting the conversation they’d been having about how James had wrangled them all into being friends. He snatched his backpack off the table and threw it over his shoulder.
“Whoa, Ben where you going?” asked James.
“Fuck you,” Ben spat. He was so fucking angry, but there was also a crushing feeling of hopelessness that he didn’t want to acknowledge. “Fuck all ya cunts. Just leave me the fuck alone.” He turned and walked away.
“Ben wait!”
He could hear James scrambling to follow him and he walked faster towards the doors to the hall. He shouldn’t have come here; he should have turned around and walked away when he saw James and his friends. He slammed the doors open and hurried down the hall. There were more kids now as class time neared and he dodged between them, not even caring when he bumped into people. Most just cursed him out and he was used to that anyway.
“Ben!” James called. “Ben, come on man!”
He was sure he was putting distance between himself and James, but he was wrong, James’s hand wrapped around his arm, pressing against the bruises from his step dad from the night before. He jerked out of James’s grasp and turned and punched him, putting all his weight into it. The hit sent James to the floor, kids moving back to give them room and watching them. Ben stared down at him, hands clenched tight into fists, anger buzzing through his veins and fight, fight, fight, screaming in his head.
“The fuck was that for?” James asked, pushing himself up onto his feet.
Ben stepped up to James, grabbing his shirt in both hands and jerking him forward. He was stronger than he looked, having lifted weights since he was twelve. “I’m not your fucking project!” he yelled in James face.
“The fuck man,” said James, roughly knocking Ben’s hands away. “I never said you were!”
“Yeah, well that’s what all you fuckin’ rich kids ever think.” He shoved James, making him stumble back a step. “So you can check off ‘help the poor’ off your good deeds list,” he sneered.
“I was only trying to be your friend.”
“I don’t have friends.”
“No shit. Maybe if you weren’t such an ass to people who were trying to be your friend you’d actually have some.”
“Shut the fuck up.”
“No,” said James, lifting his chin defiantly. “You pull this shit because you’re lonely. You need a friend and I’m going to–”
He was interrupted as Ben tackled him to the ground and punched him. “Shut up!” He was so fucking angry and James was right and it was just making him angrier. He hit James again, blood splattering across the tile as he gave him a bloody nose.
James was stronger than he looked though and he rolled them over, hands fisted in Ben’s shirt as he pinned him to the floor. Ben struggled and tried to hit James again, but he stayed out of Ben’s reach. James looked like he was going to hit Ben and Ben tensed, waiting for the hit.
“James!” Wes called; he and the others of their group shoving through the crowd that had gathered around them.
James looked up at his twin, giving Ben the opening he needed. He shoved James, dislodging him and backed away from him, pushing himself up to his feet as fast as he could.
“James, are you alright?” Wes asked, coming up to James and helping him to his feet.
“Fine,” he grunted, his attention still firmly on Ben. He looked frustrated but there was something else there that Ben couldn’t identify.
“Just leave me the fuck alone,” said Ben, his voice higher than he wanted it to be. The fear was almost as strong as the anger now. James’s family was well enough off that this was probably going to get Ben suspended and if he got suspended Jack would beat him until he couldn’t walk. The thought made his hands start to shake.
“I’m not going to do that.”
“James,” Wes protested.
“Just fuck off and leave me alone,” Ben repeated, walking past James and Wes. He pushed through the crowd and headed down the hall.
His heart was pounding in his chest, adrenaline, anger, and fear mixing like venom in his veins. He was going to be in so much trouble. Why couldn’t James just leave him alone? Why did he have to be so persistent? This was going to end horribly for everyone involved. Ben was violent, stupid, and worthless. He didn’t have friends, couldn’t even make friends if he tried. The sooner James realized all that, the better off he would be.
Ben had fucked up badly, so badly. Jack was going to be pissed when he found out. Ben griped the straps of his backpack a little tighter to keep his hands from shaking. Last year Jack had paid him back tit for tat for every fight he had gotten into, including a dislocated shoulder. He could still remember the sickening popping noise and the hellacious pain when Jack had pulled it out, could still remember the way he’d screamed. He’d only get a bloody nose for this one, but if he got suspended it would be worse. So much worse. And his grades were already shit; he couldn’t afford to be suspended this early in the year.
Ben flinched as the bell rang out shrilly, indicating the start of another day of hell. Another day to prove just how stupid and worthless he was.
